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titles/names - 11/27/2012 7:26:30 AM

syllabub

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Joined: 11/14/2012
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hi
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.
Sir is just about ok

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 7:34:40 AM

RemoteUser

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You should use what you're comfortable with, which may vary depending on whom you address.

I have a few friends that call me darlin, it's a term of familiarity and might be construed as affectionate, without being romantic or having anything else tied to the word. An acquaintance calls me Sir from time to time, they even capitalize it, but only because her father was in the military and that's what she grew accustomed to. Has nothing to do with me.

What counts for me is how my girl refers to me, what it means to her to say it, and that is significant.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 7:37:04 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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My golden rule is 'whatever makes you happy'. I don't care if you want to call your dominant 'Mr SexyTush' and he calls you 'Fairy Ballerina Princess'. If it makes you happy, that's cool.

I call him all sorts of things, sometimes his name, sometimes pet names, sometimes a jokey title (like Captain or Big Boss Man). I might call him 'sir' or 'Master' to acknowledge an order or something like that, but not as a matter of course.

For some people, having a particular title or name to use helps them get in the right headspace, makes them feel cared for, conveys respect or gets them sexually excited. Who am I to judge?

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 7:38:57 AM

tazzygirl

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I grew up in the military.. and the product of a southern family. Sir was used for men in uniform and men much older than myself... a form of respect. Its extremely hard for me to call a dominant Sir. Just doesnt fit for me.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 7:58:18 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: syllabub

hi
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.
Sir is just about ok

I think people should use whatever names they are comfortable with and not worry about outsiders thinking it's silly.

I call him Daddy, because he likes it and it's dear to me. But I sometimes call him Babe and Love, too.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 10:31:23 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: syllabub
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.

I find it silly to demand such things, even of Carol although I do occasionally for specific purposes. But honestly "master" is not silly between Carol and I. I am the guy who owns her and that is the standard appellation for someone in that category in a literal, real-life sort of way. If Carol actually sees herself as owned property... not in the kinky dating sense but as a genuine part of her core self-image... what would you suggest she use?

For other people I find whatever makes them happy to be good and positive. I don't find love, happiness, and togetherness to be silly at all no matter the form it takes.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 10:35:45 AM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: syllabub

hi
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.
Sir is just about ok

I personally find it silly that the terms or names other people use matters so much to you.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 10:43:26 AM

SacredDepravity

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I don't like labels. Never have and never will. That being said, I like the mental and emotional drop certain labels carry. The harder it is for me to hear that label applied to me, the more I want it used. It has to do with being able to deny things about myself until I hear them out loud from another's lips. Yes, I know. I'm weird.

SD

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:07:58 AM

Kerjin

Posts: 41
Joined: 10/21/2005
From: Seattle, WA
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I agree with what everyone is saying. The use of "certain" names is up to each couples dynamic. In my case, I prefer my girl to call me "Sir" or "Master" when responding to a direction or command from me. When in public, less "Formal" names are acceptable, though "Yes sir" is always a good fail safe. As far as speaking to other Dominants (Male or Female), I prefer my girl to show respect with a "Yes Sir/Ma'am". My girl also is allowed to use a "pet" name for me when we are speaking to each other in "normal" or mundane, circumstances.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:28:45 AM

SeekingTrinity

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I tend to not get all wrapped up in titles myself. They are just words after all. Ive always been of the mentality that actions speak louder than words anyway.

But I will say on the other hand that others feel differently about it than I do. I certainly can respect the reverence that they hold for their titles because its what works for them. I choose not to pass any sort of judgment on someone because they use titles or think that what they use as a term of reference for the one they are involved with is silly or stupid or _________ (fill in the blank). To each their own. Live and let live.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:40:31 AM

mnottertail

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(this is a repeat, because it bears repeating):

I dont care what you call me slave, hell, you can call me cocksucker if warranted.
As in "Hey, cocksucker, I told you three days ago to take that garbage out cuz how am I gonna do it naked collared and chained in 40 below zero weather fuckin snowbank up to my tits, fuckface?"
It must be firmly kept in your mind however; that I demand you do it with the utmost of awe and respect, for I am your Master.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:43:02 AM

theRose4U

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So does this mean I'm actually NOT goddess of banana hammock? OMGi feel so traumatized!!!

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:45:17 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: syllabub

hi
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.
Sir is just about ok

I personally find it silly that the terms or names other people use matters so much to you.

Ya.

I don't care what anyone else does. As they should not care if I laugh at what they are doing.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:50:59 AM

mnottertail

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But ya doesn haz to call me Johnson.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:52:18 AM

LaTigresse

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Would that be.....General Johnson, Major Johnson, Master of his Johnson?

Inquiring minds need to know.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:58:22 AM

mnottertail

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Massive Johnson.

One more thing:

Always lie to cops (that shit will get you in prison)
Normally lie to your lawyer (that is one way to stay out of prison)
Never lie to your doctor (that shit will get you killed)

Between these two pithy posts I have made, you should be able to live a vivid and fulsome life.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 11:58:39 AM

MariaB

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I don't care what anyone else does. If it makes them happy then who are we to tell them otherwise?

For me, I don't like titles. Any sub that calls me Mistress, Ma'am, Goddess will be bluntly told to call me by my real name. Fortunately Steve is the same because if I was ever to hear his sub calling him Master or Sir, I would be rolling my eyes and wondering who the hell I had married. Titles, as far as I'm concerned, make it all feel a little too much like a role-play fantasy game.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 12:06:26 PM

mnottertail

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9iJ1sUDF6g

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 1:11:53 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: syllabub

hi
how do sub women feel about the terms or names people use? I personally find them silly like Master etc becuase it just does not work for me.
Sir is just about ok

I think people should use whatever names they are comfortable with and not worry about outsiders thinking it's silly.

I call him Daddy, because he likes it and it's dear to me. But I sometimes call him Babe and Love, too.

Agreed, I don't see this as a gender difference....it's whatever works within that particular relationship FOR THE PEOPLE INVOLVED, it's not up to outsiders to decide what should or shouldn't be used between two people. If the purpose is to help the sub achieve "sub drop" that they are seeking, or a lower emotional state where they can ENJOY their submissiveness, and using a title HELPS them achieve it, then it is actually beneficial. I like to get feedback from My own subs, and when asked how they feel about it, several have told Me it does actually help them get into the frame of mind they are seeking so they prefer to do it. (Some of you achieve the same 'sub-drop" feeling by getting on your knees and giving a blow job. Now I think THAT is extreme, and "silly" compared to giving your dominant a title.)

I don't INSIST on it...I'm not breaking a chair over anyone's head if they don't. My online friends call Me Maine, MM, MiM, Mimz, or just plain "M". Even some of My vanilla friends enjoy calling Me "Mistress".

The real mercy is that I don't force them to say My REAL NAME, because "force" is what it would be...from My lifelong experience owning the name I've noticed it is aparently very difficult to pronounce and they are 99.9% guaranteed to FAIL when attempting (I have won many bets regarding this), so I don't put them through that torture.

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RE: titles/names - 11/27/2012 2:12:08 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Titles, as far as I'm concerned, make it all feel a little too much like a role-play fantasy game.

And to compare & contrast (rather than say right/wrong), for us they are natural. When Carol is referencing me as the guy she loves or the guy who loves her I tend to be "Bunny". When she is referencing me as the guy who owns her then I'm "Master". She's basically picking the right word to put me on notice what my role in this conversation is. So for us, at least, it's not contrived so it doesn't feel like role-play. It's just an effective part of communication.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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