Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: what do you want to hear?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: what do you want to hear? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 12:53:58 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		You are totally right, Rose. Perhaps the phrase "think with the big head, not with the little one" should have been added Mea culpa

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 6:02:23 PM   
Dirk4slaveRsub


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/19/2012
Status: offline 		umm... ok I didn't ask any of you to review my profile. I asked what a sub/slave wanted to hear when being contacted by a DOM. I didn't know it would turn into people calling me shallow. I can't believe someone on this site of all would judge someone else for what they want. If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?
Thanks to the few who answered the question I asked.


(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 6:42:43 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		Sorry.  Perved your profile as well.  Just out of pure curiosity, not to critique. 

As far as your question, others have listed good advice. I agree on the copy/paste - don't do it. Be genuine and try to be original. Mentioning something from her profile not only signals that you may have read it, but also can open up a dialogue.  And don't start out with demands or immediately jump into kinks. 

This advice holds true for friends, dating, real world, and online. 

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 6:44:41 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Isn't there a saying shallow waters run deep? something like that.

Take no offense, can be a place of crass, straight shooters here.

There are some good people here. Have fun and stay cool!

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 6:45:50 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub
I have been wondering what a slave/sub wants when a DOM contatcs them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub
umm... ok I didn't ask any of you to review my profile. I asked what a sub/slave wanted to hear when being contacted by a DOM.

No, you asked what a sub wants when a Dom contacts them. I for one would have read the profile
before I even opened the email, so I could be sure I wasn't being spammed by MrRandomHornyMan.
The comments here in regards to your profile was similar to that scenario being played out in real time.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub
If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?

That depends on how and why you were contacting me. For all I know, you could be MrRandomHornyManThe2nd.
Your looks don't make you immune to asshattery.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 7:31:52 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
OP, regardless of the fact that you don't like the answers you got in your thread (it happens like that around here, just like all over the internet), Poise is exactly right: What happened is that when you contacted people (albeit through the message board and not through CMail), everyone perved your profile. That's frequently what's going to happen after you send a message (no matter what it says) because someone is going to try and fill in the blanks about what they know about you by your message + your profile.

You may not be liking how this thread is panning out, but people are sharing with you what's in their heads (their opinions) about both your question and the other data element that most women will also consider when they get a message from you (regardless of what it says): your profile.



_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 8:07:49 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub

umm... ok I didn't ask any of you to review my profile. I asked what a sub/slave wanted to hear when being contacted by a DOM.

They want to hear the truth about who you are, what you think & why them...your profile tells them part of this. The fact it appears those you "honored with your interest" read your narcissism & didn't respond just proves once again submissive doesn't mean stupid!!

Oh and before the "you must be a cow" comments start I still have the copy of muscle & fitness i was featured in

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 11/29/2012 8:09:11 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 8:15:42 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		OP-

While it is certainly true, what others have said about opening messages- (no stupid one liners, don't bark commands, address her as a person, etc.) it is also true that there can be too much emphasis placed on the "perfect opening message".

Because lets face it, to write a long, detailed heartfelt message to a total stranger? That is the ultimate in contrived sincerity.

No matter what the words are, any unsolicited initial message really only has one simple message:

"Hello, I am interested in you, based on what I see in your profile. Would you please read mine and let me know if you are interested?"

We can dress it up all we like, but that is the essence. If she reads our profile and likes what she sees, a clumsily worded opening will be forgiven- if she doesn't, even Cyrano himself couldn't rescue us.

I met my wife 11 years ago in a Yahoo chat room, and I can't for the life of me remember my first message to her. We have met and dated several women from Collarme, and my initial email was nothing more than what I wrote above.I have also written long personal messages to some who I thought were immensely compatible, only to have them deleted unread.

My advice is just to be simple, straightforward, and honest. This is a dating site, everyone here is looking for someone, and if they see your email pop up in their box, they shouldn't be expecting an earnest inquiry about gardening.

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/29/2012 9:12:29 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Actually a question about what flower is in someones avitar would
1) Be a nice change of pace
2)Prove you at least looked near their profile
3) Gives something neutral to start with

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 8:33:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Isn't there a saying shallow waters run deep? something like that.



The saying is "Still waters run deep".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 8:39:01 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub

umm... ok I didn't ask any of you to review my profile. I asked what a sub/slave wanted to hear when being contacted by a DOM. I didn't know it would turn into people calling me shallow. I can't believe someone on this site of all would judge someone else for what they want. If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?
Thanks to the few who answered the question I asked.




You're in a medium where your written word is your only form of advertising. What you write in your profile is your primary advertisement. When you send a message to a woman here, she's going to read you profile along with that message and decide whether to respond.

I did not say YOU were shallow. I said that line makes you appear shallow. (There's a difference there, you just need to see it)

You just had a bunch of submissive women, your target audience, tell you how they reacted to your profile. You're a seller in a buyers market, you might want to listen to what they buyers have to say.

And lastly, no, I wouldn't have considered it flattering if you had contacted me. I most likely would not have responded because of your profile.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 8:42:33 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?



Not necessarily. I get emails for penis enlargement too. Should I find that flattering?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 8:52:42 AM   
Dirk4slaveRsub


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/19/2012
Status: offline 		Ok... first off I don't have an issue with finding/dating girls that are 8+. I have even been contacted by a few on here. The reason for the post was to find out why the few people I contacted either never read my email or deleted it. I was not rude and did not treat them like porperty. I'm not sure why everyone thinks that I sent a cock pic and asked "what makes you wet?" I did not... I'm not "mr horny" and not just looking for sex. The messages I sent were like this... " hi I read you profile and we seem to have some things in common. You're also very attractive do you care to chat a little?" It was nothing rude. I get that you don't want a 1 liner, but do I really need to write a paragraph? I mean for all I know its a fake profile and I just spent 30min writing an email to a fat guy in a lazy boy. Most women on here that are 8+ don't have to search for a DOM. They have to many mesages to read already. I just wanted to know how to get their attention.

Also... I'm not here to insult anyone. I don't care what magazine you were in or what you do now. We all have our wants and no one should be judged for that. I may think its shallow to only want your slave/sub to wear diapers, but who am I to judge? I could read all your profiles an look at your pics and insult you, but I feel like I have better things to do with my time. What's the point of spreading negative karma? If you don't have anything positive to post.... why post it?

< Message edited by Dirk4slaveRsub -- 11/30/2012 9:03:08 AM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 8:59:39 AM   
Dirk4slaveRsub


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?



Not necessarily. I get emails for penis enlargement too. Should I find that flattering?


Not only does this not make sense its rude and uncalled for... why would you post this? What did you get out of it?

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 9:06:29 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub

Ok... first off I don't have an issue with finding/dating girls that are 8+. I have even been contacted by a few on here. The reason for the post was to find out why the few people I contacted either never read my email or deleted it. I was not rude and did not treat them like porperty. I'm not sure why everyone thinks that I sent a cock pic and asked "what makes you wet?" I did not... I'm not "mr horny" and no just looking for sex. The messages I sent were like this... " hi I read you profile and we seem to have some things in common. You're also very attractive do you care to chat a little?" It was nothing rude. I get that you don't want a 1 liner, but do I really need to write a paragraph? I mean for all I know its a fake profile and I just spent 30min writing an email to a fat guy in a lazy boy. Most women on here that are 8+ don't have to search for a DOM. They have to many mesages to read already. I just wanted to know how to get there attention.


The women don't respond because they're not interested. There was something about you that didn't match what they're looking for or turned them off. Shrug it off and move on.

For the emails that you think didn't read it, they hovered over the email to see what it said, or it went into the bulk filter because you don't meet their criteria.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 9:19:16 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Dude, thats honestly going to happen to you quite a bit on this site. Its a free site, so every manner of person can and will join. People can and will play all sorts of games. You are going to need to get used to it if you want the honest truth.

The ones who deleted your message just werent into you for whatever their reason. And the reality could be very well what Osidegirl was telling you. But I personally wouldnt take it personally. It happens to all of us. Just because you are attractive does not make you immune to rejection. Should you devote 30 minutes of your life composing a message to someone for the first time? No. But you shouldnt be trying to figure out what people want to hear either. What you say you said in your message was just fine. If the recipient of your message didnt bother responding....oh well. Do what the rest of us do. Just put on your big boy (or big girl in my case) pants and move on. It may take awhile to find a good match, but it can happen.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 11/30/2012 9:25:29 AM >

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 10:02:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Using fast reply........

I'm betting that subs don't want to hear the stuff that you'll tell them just because you think they want to hear it.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 10:19:32 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub


quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?



Not necessarily. I get emails for penis enlargement too. Should I find that flattering?


Not only does this not make sense its rude and uncalled for... why would you post this? What did you get out of it?



Then it seems you aren't too bright.

An email from a stranger is, essentially, spam. It is just as much spam as the penis enlargement emails I get. Both of you are trying to sell me something.

Why do you presume that it should be flattering that you email someone?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 10:21:13 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub

umm... ok I didn't ask any of you to review my profile. I asked what a sub/slave wanted to hear when being contacted by a DOM. I didn't know it would turn into people calling me shallow. I can't believe someone on this site of all would judge someone else for what they want. If i contacted you... wouldn't it be flattering?
Thanks to the few who answered the question I asked.





From your attitude? No.
Sorry, but I have had many handsome men contact me and I've dated quite a few hot male model type men. In fact, anyone who knows Master knows I've scored with him.

You don't impress me at all.

ETA: After reading the rest of your posts, you said you email women and say you both have a lot in common but yet you don't mention a single one of them. Women get that email tons and tons of times. We've heard it a million times. And saying "btw, you are very attractive"....yeah, we hear that too millions of times. Your email does not stand out whatsoever. I would just delete it if I received that. It means nothing to me. You haven't said one single thing that would peak my interest.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 11/30/2012 10:26:13 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: what do you want to hear? - 11/30/2012 12:31:11 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dirk4slaveRsub

Ok... first off I don't have an issue with finding/dating girls that are 8+. I have even been contacted by a few on here. The reason for the post was to find out why the few people I contacted either never read my email or deleted it. I was not rude and did not treat them like porperty. I'm not sure why everyone thinks that I sent a cock pic and asked "what makes you wet?" I did not... I'm not "mr horny" and not just looking for sex. The messages I sent were like this... " hi I read you profile and we seem to have some things in common. You're also very attractive do you care to chat a little?" It was nothing rude. I get that you don't want a 1 liner, but do I really need to write a paragraph? I mean for all I know its a fake profile and I just spent 30min writing an email to a fat guy in a lazy boy. Most women on here that are 8+ don't have to search for a DOM. They have to many mesages to read already. I just wanted to know how to get their attention.


1. They probably DID read your email even if you thought they didn't - you can mouse over a message and read it with opening it.
2. As has been mentioned in earlier posts, it's not JUST your email that they read, but they also most likely went to your profile and read that too.
3. They decided, after reviewing those two points of data, that you were not a good match for them. It's impossible to tell why.
4. While you did share a general example of your emails, multiple submissive women reviewed your profile and told you that they would not be interested based upon your profile. Some of them told you why. It's more feedback than you've received from those you've written.
5. You may or may not be able to extrapolate from that feedback why you don't receive responses.
6. Clearly, not sending a cock pic doesn't guarantee you a response (note that I'm not advocating you send cock pics).



_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Dirk4slaveRsub)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: what do you want to hear? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109