|
AthenaSurrenders -> RE: ups and downs to being a dom (11/29/2012 2:34:20 AM)
|
fast reply
It's kind of like asking 'what are the ups and downs of being in a relationship?' The 'ups' are that when it works, you get an emotionally fulfilling bond with another person, support, companionship, enjoyment and mutually fun sex. You get someone who compliments your personality and strengths and relate to each other in a way that suits you both. The downs are that all relationships take a lot of work, compromise, communication and effort. And that sometimes they don't work out, which can be very upsetting for everyone involved, not to mention inconvenient if it was at the stage of living together or sharing assets.
In the interest of trying really hard to give a sincere answer, I guess one of the downsides is that there is a lot of responsibility on your shoulders with regard to safety if you do SM or bondage. The sub/bottom should be just as educated in safe practices but ultimately the top has to carry it out. Should something go horribly wrong, you will bear the brunt of the legal consequences.
Many people, especially early in their relationships or new to BDSM as a whole struggle to find what works for them in terms of style of leadership, degree of protocol, rules, structure, punishment. It takes a lot of work and investment in a person to know what things you can push and change, and what things need to be left alone.
From our experience, I know when we first started out and were trying to find our way, my husband found some days to be exhausting. Kind of like parenting, sometimes you are tempted to let things slide and take the path of least resistance even when you know consistency is the best strategy in the long run. But that is one that got easier with time - as we worked together there were less hiccups and as we both got stronger in our roles there was less need to check up and police things.
|
|
|
|
