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Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:17:15 PM   
kentuckyg87


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2012
Status: offline 		I am not sure how hard it is for guys to find someone but being a female sucks when it comes to this site. Time aftertime, I find a Dom who thinks this is a way for them to get a blowjob bc in no other way would a woman even do that under normal circumstances. You have younger girls who are just learning about this lifestyle and coming to terms with who they are and these people (the "Doms") mess it up. I've been there. Met a guy. An 'Experienced' Dom within five minutes had his pants down tellig me to blow him. Thankfully, I''m smart. Told the loser to boot it. Take this as a rant or whatever but if you are new to this site...you don't have to submit to just anyone. I met my ex off here so some ppl are legit but know alot of these guys are bored and the only way for them to get sucked off is by saying they're a Dom
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:18:43 PM   
kentuckyg87


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2012
Status: offline 		Typing this through my phone. Grammatical errors are bound to happen

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:18:50 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear about your experience.

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:20:49 PM   
coldslayer


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		yikes. I never thought about it , but i reckon it may be difficult. perhaps you should find a female dom :-p

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:21:48 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Was this a face to face meeting? (Just the right thing to liven up the ole coffee shoppe.)

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:21:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		eerr...how is this any different from any other man who hits on a woman on any public site or in real life? Dude, I get this all the time on all kinds of sites online be they bdsm or "vanilla" and I get it from guys on the street. Why would bdsm men be any different at all?

Bdsm does not make men special. It does not make them somehow anymore of a gentleman. It just makes them into bdsm. That's it. That's all. Please as a newbie and for all that's unholy, do not park your brain outside the door or think bdsm is gonna somehow make people different. It won't.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:26:43 PM   
kentuckyg87


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2012
Status: offline 		Been in the lifestyle for years now...first starting out, trying to.find myself in this role...was really disappointed. But maybe it's because BDSM isn't all about sex for me. I would rather be a single sub then live a vanilla lifestyle.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:28:06 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		It's hard for men too.

This is the downside to internet dating. Due to the fact that you can easily mis-represent yourself it attracts certain types of people who perhaps lack the social skills to initiate relationships with those they meet in the real world. The level of anonymity suits those who are cheating, just wanting to jerk off, or are known in the local community as having a bad reputation. And yes, some people use sites like these as a tool to deliberately seek out the inexperienced because they are well aware those with more experience are less likely to fall for nonesense lines.

I'm fairly sure you'd run into an element of this is any kind of online dating. I agree some people decide to try out the 'I'm a dom' line because they assume kinky women must be easy women, and hey, if she's a sub it means I get to always get my own way, right? More scary is the thought that many of these people are not just 'trying it on' but genuinely identify as a dom but are clueless/selfish/dangerous/insert-adjective-here.

If it helps, there are many more men here than women by sheer numbers, so although there is lots of crap out there, the men do in many ways have it harder because they have less options and many of the female profiles on this site are actually attempts to make money rather than find a partner. The lack of women means those that are here tend to get piled upon by every desperate guy out there. So it sucks for everyone.

But finding a partner is always going to be hard. Finding the person who fits with you, whose morals, tastes, hobbies, habits and ambitions fit your own well enough that you can build a comfortable life together AND that you feel some kind of chemistry and attraction to? Always going to be tough. Easier in real life though. All the creepers that cause you problems here are out there in the real world too, but it's harder to hide your negative personality traits in the flesh so meeting people in person (or meeting quickly after online contact) cuts down on the amount of time wasted and the chances of disappointment that comes from building someone up in your brain then finding out they are a jerk.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
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RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:29:44 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm kinda surprised this isn't old news to you then if you've been into bdsm for years.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:34:28 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		While I applaud your intent in posting this, I think it's wrong that you assume the "younger submissives"
would follow the same set of "dom qualifiers" as you did, and hence, meet the same kind of men.
Sure, there are jerks out there, both male and female, but if you keep attracting men who only
want a quick fuck, perhaps you should re-examine what impression you may be giving them where
they think you would fall for such a thing.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:44:13 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Personally I'm always amused at the idea of "having to submit". Given that in such encounters the sub has not been mastered or even dominated I can't quite figure out what is driving the idea n the subs head that she should submit at all much less "have to". At that point it's all a farce anyway.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 9:50:45 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		i've never met a guy that couldn't get blowjobs the 'nilla way. you learn something new every day around these parts!

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ugh - 11/28/2012 10:56:16 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I have never been propositioned by a dom for a blowjob... (there was that one time in band camp...). Kink is no different than vanilla at the beginning. If you met some nice lawyer for first date coffee, and he said, "how about a blowjob?" I am sure the sonic boom from that face slap would break windows.

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 5:08:48 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Wow it took him 5 whole minutes to get his britches down....UGH I can do it in under 30 seconds. The OP is quite the charmer in her profile.... In 4 paragraphs she has managed to say fucking twice...

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 11/29/2012 5:12:06 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Darkfeather)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 5:29:04 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		ah the beauty of new. and the stupidity lol. I myself didnt meet someone off of here but none the less, I was a walking breathing hoover, with cleaning skills beyond the wildest of a ding dong doms wildest dreams. Oh boy, what a crock of fantasy I fell into. Age doesnt have anything to do with it but inexperience and silly notions that somehow bdsm men are different. Oh poo, wake up and smell the coffee.
Notning is different and magical. Same Bs or same sincerity as anywhere, just have to use your head! But it was so fun to be fooled for awhile damn it

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 5:59:41 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Oh geeze. This is for all females, no matter their age or orientation: Do not get into compromising positions (read: possibility of being raped) with strange men you just met.

Women have been having to follow that rule for eons. It has nothing to do with dom/sub, and nothing to do with the internet. Some men mean harm. Most do not. Stay safe until you can tell the difference.

What about this don't they teach you in Kentucky?

_____________________________



(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 6:07:54 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Every man I've met from here telegraphed his intentions well before we met. I knew who was going to be a one-nighter, who was going to be a great fuck buddy, and who had relationship potential. Perhaps you are meeting these men too soon or not paying attention to the messages they are sending you.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to kentuckyg87)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 6:53:59 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I'm open to meeting people I have met on the internet, though never have in any way other than through the business I'm in which isn't the same as hoping for a relationship. I have to admit, most people's profiles are off putting (as is mine), some through honesty, some through attitude. I find it easier to get a relationship in real life than online. In fact I find it easier to meet someone vanilla in real life and introduce them to BDSM than go through all the rigmarole online with someone who claims to be BDSM experienced. You ask someone what their expectations are and you get the encyclopeadia Britanica back along with a contract in triplicate. Oh lord! I think, I was only curious and asked in order to start a conversation. Sometimes I think asking for a blow job before I bust her ass can not get any worse results than being politely inquisitive.

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There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 7:21:09 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I'm open to meeting people I have met on the internet, though never have in any way other than through the business I'm in which isn't the same as hoping for a relationship. I have to admit, most people's profiles are off putting (as is mine), some through honesty, some through attitude. I find it easier to get a relationship in real life than online. In fact I find it easier to meet someone vanilla in real life and introduce them to BDSM than go through all the rigmarole online with someone who claims to be BDSM experienced. You ask someone what their expectations are and you get the encyclopeadia Britanica back along with a contract in triplicate. Oh lord! I think, I was only curious and asked in order to start a conversation. Sometimes I think asking for a blow job before I bust her ass can not get any worse results than being politely inquisitive.


If someone doesn't know when you are being politely inquisitive, and you are not getting the conversational results that you want, perhaps change up what you are asking about? People on the internet aren't able to see the body language if they can't see you, or know that you are just being polite. If you want superficial small talk then ask for that. I'm not sure why you expect people to read your mind and know that you asking after XYZ doesn't really mean that you want to know about XYZ.

OP, I'd never take what someone says over the internet to be true. Experience and titles are only words till I meet someone in a public place. Sounds like you're getting disgusted over your own poor filtering process. Don't assign qualities to people you barely know because you think a self applied title means something and you'll get farther.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Ugh - 11/29/2012 7:34:12 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Every man I've met from here telegraphed his intentions well before we met.

I don't know about that. There is that Ron character. He's so mysterious. Who could possibly know what he wants from a woman?


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 20
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