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The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 6:41:14 PM   
Valmont84


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/24/2012
Status: offline 		Hi Everybody,

I know I haven't been on this site long. But I am starting to get a feel for how hard online dating is. I am starting to become convinced that meeting a "normal" girl in public and turning on her more submissive side (that's what I am into) is the best way to go. That has always worked for me in the past.

It has been so hard to get any type of communication from anyone on this site, and when I do, it normally only lasts an exchange or two. I feel there are several reasons for this.

1.) Girls are bombarded with messages. You are one guy of hundreds of messages. How do I know this? I have seen girls post in there profile things like "I just signed up today and have received 2 pages of messages 2 PAGES!!!" If you really stop and think about that....it is incredible. Some girls in their profiles make fun of all the messages they get and they don't even have a photo or profile information. For all these "desperate" guys know this girl could be the exact opposite of what they are looking for. So in short....you are one lonely message out of hundreds.

2.) For girls getting messages, sustaining any type of communication becomes impossible. Sure, they are willing to give you their yahoo messenger ID. I have received those. But let's all be honest. You know what talking on instant messenger is like. It's not a conversation you focus on. When I turn my messenger on, I get 20 messages from aunts, nieces, and nephews, college friends. I can't talk to just one person and get to know them. It's impossible. I end up talking to 5 different people about 5 different things.

3.) Girls are very uncomfortable giving out a phone number or meeting in person. So you have to work twice as hard. This one I am not going to complain about. This is a part of online dating. A girl MUST make sure she is safe. I get that. And I encourage and respect that. The only reason I mention that is because is a part of what makes online dating harder for a guy. (girls get an immediate vibe off of you in person, we all know the saying....they know within seconds when they see you in person ;)

4.) I just plain suck lolol I am open to the fact that my pictures are horrible and my profile is horrible. But I have never had a hard time finding a girlfriend off the web. I just recently went through a breakup and was going to look for someone that already knew they were submissive and was looking immediately for that type of sexual dynamic. So I searched and found this site. It is ten times easier to get a date in person than on this site. Last girl i dated, I met at Panera bread, just by saying hi. lolol The one before that at happy hour.

IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.

Thanks for reading. Would love to hear responses?

Valmont

P.s. Because of this post, I have taken down my photos and abbreviated my profile. I am more interested in the discussions my post will generate then drawing attention to myself right now. My collarme searching is going to be put on hold for a bit. So I know the first thing out of everyone's mouth is "you need photos" "more description" I had those. And you just have to trust me they were good.





< Message edited by Valmont84 -- 11/29/2012 6:45:18 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 6:49:25 PM   
icarus020


Posts: 21
Joined: 11/16/2012
Status: offline 		Could I suggest that your difficulties may actually not be in the online part of things. It may be more to altering how you present yourself.

Now I'm not one much to speak to the club scenes or the world as a whole I tend to meet people through my regular social activities (groups, work, hobbies) than through going out at night to a place where people seem to do nothing but get drunk.

That said I would venture that is where you tend to go to?

As for online, seriously consider what message a picture of your dangling wosit is making? Your profile is just another of the short and uninformative ones that fill sites like this. In fact it's the type of profile that makes the online thing so difficult. Flesh out your profile, think about how you want people to see you.

You are 1 in 100 messages because, quite simply you are not telling people about the type of person you are. My own experience on 'vanilla' dating sites has been that people there tend to be looking for long term attachments, not a string of one night dates and short relationships...in fact I'm convinced that's why Match.com scream about the number of marriages in their ads.

Yeah, sorry for the ramble but needed to get that out of my system. I don't mean this in any way agressively, just in a 'I thought you might want to know' kind of way!

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 6:57:37 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I say screw the profile just club her like a baby seal coming out of the starbucks & pray the cops never check the basement
Have fun!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to icarus020)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 6:59:34 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		both ways have worked for me. the last Dominant i lived with i met on CM. the Dominant i am seeing now, i met at Walmart.

when i lived in cali, i met a Dominant online and became a member of his family. We would have eventually met in person even if there was no internet because we were both active in the public scene.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:03:46 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
Your profile has 17 words. Your first post is a big whine about how difficult it is to meet people here. How could anyone choose to meet you when you don't share anything of substance about yourself? If the old profile and photos were that good then they might have netted you better results. Marketing says that you didn't find any buyers so you probably weren't doing that great a job.

If as you say you've never had any trouble dating offline, why not try a real-time munch and meet others socially offline. It's quite possible that you do better offline than online.

Best of luck to you. Stay and yack with us.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:09:17 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Good rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it/show it while chatting up women at a bar, don't do it on your profile.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:17:37 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Good rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it/show it while chatting up women at a bar, don't do it on your profile.

Not real practial...have seen WAAAAY too many men pull their dick out in bars & clubs. Had one asshole piss on the foot rail because he thought it was the urinal. Bastard had asparagus for dinner too

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:22:22 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Good rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it/show it while chatting up women at a bar, don't do it on your profile.

Not real practial...have seen WAAAAY too many men pull their dick out in bars & clubs. Had one asshole piss on the foot rail because he thought it was the urinal. Bastard had asparagus for dinner too



Ok................

Well, don't ever invite me out clubbing with you.

I'll amend my prior advice to say that if you wouldn't say it/show it/do it while chatting up women at a bar, and/or if you couldn't say it/show it/do it without risking arrest, then don't do it on your profile.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:31:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Good rule of thumb: If you wouldn't say it/show it while chatting up women at a bar, don't do it on your profile.

Not real practial...have seen WAAAAY too many men pull their dick out in bars & clubs. Had one asshole piss on the foot rail because he thought it was the urinal. Bastard had asparagus for dinner too



Ok................

Well, don't ever invite me out clubbing with you.

If I'm in a club I'm either behind the bar watching the abnormal psych experiment or the dj booth with someone I know
Old lover owns the major rave company in my state & a couple clubs. I still get pretty much whatever I ask for, especially if its work for extra cash because he knows I won't steal from him but will tell him who is.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:46:09 PM   
thaprofessor84


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/27/2012
Status: offline 		...............wrong post

< Message edited by thaprofessor84 -- 11/29/2012 8:06:51 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:52:21 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
Did you mean to post at "thaprofessor84" and "valmont84" is just a sock created to stir discussion?

Anyway, I agree with (whichever of) you that you may simply find better luck and less effort meeting people in the flesh than online.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to thaprofessor84)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 7:59:34 PM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline 		OP makes some really good points.

I've had several encounters with members of That Other Site. And none of those profiles seem fake or used for puppetry. And I've had no encounters from this one.

I don't know the reason for the difference. But it seems tangible.



(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 8:08:14 PM   
thaprofessor84


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/27/2012
Status: offline 		-----sorry about that

(in reply to descrite)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 8:57:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I have met several women online for relationships. However, I have a pretty good online presence. Far more men have real troubles for the same reasons you mentioned.

I prefer meeting at munches, play parties, etc. However, it's not an either/or. I have met women offline, gotten their username, and checked out their profile to see if we'd be compatible. I've also met women online, and arranged to be at an event they would be attending.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to thaprofessor84)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 10:12:57 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84



IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.







I'd say your conclusion may be right for you, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's right for anyone else. Online -- whether vanilla or kink -- is a viable way to meet people. Sure, it takes time and effort. But so does meeting people offline, especially if you want someone with kinky attributes.

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/29/2012 11:56:09 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84

Hi Everybody,


IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.

Thanks for reading. Would love to hear responses?

Valmont




Ya know it's really difficult to take life seriously....As noone is getting out alive.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 7:48:33 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ive met several folks from both sites. Some approached me. Sometimes I approached them. Some were at a munch or whatever.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 8:57:33 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84


3.) Girls are very uncomfortable giving out a phone number or meeting in person.


I wasn't "very uncomfortable" giving out my phone number or meeting in person. I just didn't do it with everyone.

I took my time and made sure that it was someone that I was actually interested in meeting before I did that. Nothing like dealing with a whiny "Dom" that calls you at all hours because you won't go any further with him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84

IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.


I think relying on online only means that you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. I would actually recommend that you meet your local community and volunteer to be staff at events. You'll meet lots of people that are local and kinky.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 9:09:32 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84
I know I haven't been on this site long. But I am starting to get a feel for how hard online dating is.

I don't really think so... not at all. Actually, it sounds more like you haven't figured it out so you're trying some different method. Please take my responses with a grain of salt since I'm not actually looking to "hook up". But I do interact with a lot of women on this site and here are my observations.

1.) Girls are bombarded with messages.
True, but help me to understand why this matters.

2.) For girls getting messages, sustaining any type of communication becomes impossible.
Apparenlty not. I manage to have conversations with female subs all the time.

3.) Girls are very uncomfortable giving out a phone number or meeting in person.
Apparently not since I've gotten every single phone number I asked for and I've met with a lot of people and I would like to meet more and they want to meet me.

4.) I just plain suck lolol I am open to the fact that my pictures are horrible and my profile is horrible.
Well, I don't know about "suckign" but your experience and mine are sure as hell not the same.

IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.
That is certainly one recommendation. OR alternately, you could go with the excellent advice various people have posted over the years and ... you know ... actually meet women from here. Then again, the whole "turns you on sexually" thing makes me think that you're not so much looking for a relationship as to get laid. Yes, that'll be a problem here. Most of the proifles I read seem to be seeking some sort of long term relationship. So if you've been leading with your dick then that would explain your failure rate.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Valmont84)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 9:43:45 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Do us a favor. Post here what you would normally email to a woman on here. It will give us a better idea of what you're doing wrong. I've never had a single problem on here meeting men or giving out my phone number if I was truly interested in meeting them. However, I rarely ever talked to men on here for long or gave out my phone number because most were simply boring.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 20
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