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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 9:45:46 AM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84

2.) For girls getting messages, sustaining any type of communication becomes impossible. Sure, they are willing to give you their yahoo messenger ID. I have received those. But let's all be honest. You know what talking on instant messenger is like. It's not a conversation you focus on. When I turn my messenger on, I get 20 messages from aunts, nieces, and nephews, college friends. I can't talk to just one person and get to know them. It's impossible. I end up talking to 5 different people about 5 different things.

Why don't you either put yourself on hide or tell the others you're IMing someone else? You can talk and and still receive all others. I hate waiting for my reply "in line"!!

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 11/30/2012 9:46:05 AM >

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 10:01:04 AM

mysouldesire

Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
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I mostly agree here with Jeff . . .

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84
I know I haven't been on this site long. But I am starting to get a feel for how hard online dating is.

I don't really think so... not at all. Actually, it sounds more like you haven't figured it out so you're trying some different method. Please take my responses with a grain of salt since I'm not actually looking to "hook up". But I do interact with a lot of women on this site and here are my observations.

1.) Girls are bombarded with messages.
True, but help me to understand why this matters.

This is not always true..... in fact, I'd venture to say that women with provocative profiles do get more messages than ones like mine.

2.) For girls getting messages, sustaining any type of communication becomes impossible.
Apparenlty not. I manage to have conversations with female subs all the time.

One can usually tell relatively early if a communication is worth pursuing.

3.) Girls are very uncomfortable giving out a phone number or meeting in person.
Apparently not since I've gotten every single phone number I asked for and I've met with a lot of people and I would like to meet more and they want to meet me.

Selective. I wont even give out my email address for a photo. And then again, I've given my phone number 2x's in the last several weeks.

4.) I just plain suck lolol I am open to the fact that my pictures are horrible and my profile is horrible.
Well, I don't know about "suckign" but your experience and mine are sure as hell not the same.

IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.
That is certainly one recommendation. OR alternately, you could go with the excellent advice various people have posted over the years and ... you know ... actually meet women from here. Then again, the whole "turns you on sexually" thing makes me think that you're not so much looking for a relationship as to get laid. Yes, that'll be a problem here. Most of the proifles I read seem to be seeking some sort of long term relationship. So if you've been leading with your dick then that would explain your failure rate.

Many women can tell who is leading with their dick and their mindless quest for a bj, but then again, some women are wanting just that, a fuck. Reading between the lines of someone's message and profile is a good standard of mine. Clarifying is most important.

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 11/30/2012 2:32:53 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Valmont84

Hi Everybody,
I just have to go all magic 8 ball here-nothing else will do
I know I haven't been on this site long. But I am starting to get a feel for how hard online dating is. I am starting to become convinced that meeting a "normal" girl in public and turning on her more submissive side (that's what I am into) is the best way to go. That has always worked for me in the past.
Very doubtful

It has been so hard to get any type of communication from anyone on this site, and when I do, it normally only lasts an exchange or two. I feel there are several reasons for this.
Reply hazy, try again

1.) Girls are bombarded with messages. You are one guy of hundreds of messages. How do I know this? I have seen girls post in there profile things like "I just signed up today and have received 2 pages of messages 2 PAGES!!!" If you really stop and think about that....it is incredible. Some girls in their profiles make fun of all the messages they get and they don't even have a photo or profile information. For all these "desperate" guys know this girl could be the exact opposite of what they are looking for. So in short....you are one lonely message out of hundreds.
It is certain

2.) For girls getting messages, sustaining any type of communication becomes impossible. Sure, they are willing to give you their yahoo messenger ID. I have received those. But let's all be honest. You know what talking on instant messenger is like. It's not a conversation you focus on. When I turn my messenger on, I get 20 messages from aunts, nieces, and nephews, college friends. I can't talk to just one person and get to know them. It's impossible. I end up talking to 5 different people about 5 different things.
Concentrate and try again

3.) Girls are very uncomfortable giving out a phone number or meeting in person. So you have to work twice as hard. This one I am not going to complain about. This is a part of online dating. A girl MUST make sure she is safe. I get that. And I encourage and respect that. The only reason I mention that is because is a part of what makes online dating harder for a guy. (girls get an immediate vibe off of you in person, we all know the saying....they know within seconds when they see you in person ;)
Outlook not so good

4.) I just plain suck lolol I am open to the fact that my pictures are horrible and my profile is horrible. But I have never had a hard time finding a girlfriend off the web. I just recently went through a breakup and was going to look for someone that already knew they were submissive and was looking immediately for that type of sexual dynamic. So I searched and found this site. It is ten times easier to get a date in person than on this site. Last girl i dated, I met at Panera bread, just by saying hi. lolol The one before that at happy hour.
Very doubtful

IN CONCLUSION: lolol Sorry for the ramble. In conclusion, this is what I recommend. Go out. Leave your house. Talk to every girl that turns you one sexually. say hi. Forget online dating. Or, if you are going to use it, use it sparingly and don't expect much. Yes, you might get a needle in a hay stack, but DON'T count on it. Just use this for fun and don't take it seriously.
My sources say no

Thanks for reading. Would love to hear responses?
Better not count on it

Valmont

P.s. Because of this post, I have taken down my photos and abbreviated my profile. I am more interested in the discussions my post will generate then drawing attention to myself right now. My collarme searching is going to be put on hold for a bit. So I know the first thing out of everyone's mouth is "you need photos" "more description" I had those. And you just have to trust me they were good.
My reply is no

Look dude, this shit ain't tough. Either you got game or ya don't. If you don't have game in RL, don't expect to magically get it here. And if you do, then shit should roll pretty much the same.Meanwhile, keep posting-I love guys like you.
Why?
Because the more of you there are, the better guys like me look in comparison.
So thanks. The assist is appreciated.

And all that crap about the numbers game, how many men there are, how few women-yeah, that's a crock. Just saying. Winners make things happen, losers whine about why they can't get it up or on. Walk into a munch, head into a dungeon, watch the guys who know what they are about, who know how to treat a woman, do the things that leave her wanting, hell, begging, to crawl to him, they have women lined up wanting them. See how the subbies react when one gets single, it's like a feeding frenzy. Those guys ain't single long, and if they are, it's usually their choice.
I ain't judging, just calling it like I see it.

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 12/1/2012 11:13:24 AM

DesFIP

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OT, am I the only one who keeps reading this as quarantined?

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 12/1/2012 1:46:27 PM

Valmont84

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Joined: 11/24/2012
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First off, thanks to everyone for the replies. I have been reading and searching the message boards for several days now. They alone make this an incredible site.

I will only take the time to reply to the ones I disagree with the most. Most of the ones I disagree with fall into the same pattern.

For example, I did not say that you could not meet people from an online dating website. As a matter of fact, my best friend and his wife met on match. Rather, I was merely making an observation about how online differs from my real world experiences. Collareme is my first foray into this world of cyber love :)

Other comments, I am not sure what to make of.

quote:

Look dude, this shit ain't tough. Either you got game or ya don't.

Wow, it's nice to meet the Neil Strauss of leather. lol Can I get your opinion on something?

quote:

If you don't have game in RL, don't expect to magically get it here.

I have dated quite a bit my entire life. I came here looking for women already predisposed to this type of relationship, rather then the grooming I have done in the past. I have never dated a girl that was in this "lifestyle." We would just develop that dynamic over time. (This point could easily become a flame war. How would I prove what I just said? I could still be virginal lol )

quote:

keep posting-I love guys like you.
Why?
Because the more of you there are, the better guys like me look in comparison.
So thanks. The assist is appreciated.

Ugly is still ugly when it's around ugly. I tend to allow things to succeed or fail based upon their own merit. Just because your competition sucks, does not necessarily mean you are a shoe in.

quote:

And all that crap about the numbers game, how many men there are, how few women-yeah, that's a crock. Just saying.

Don't just say .....back it up. Actually there are studies that prove what you said is farcically easy to repudiate. Can I include links in replies? http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/

quote:

Walk into a munch, head into a dungeon, watch the guys who know what they are about, who know how to treat a woman, do the things that leave her wanting, hell, begging, to crawl to him, they have women lined up wanting them. See how the subbies react when one gets single, it's like a feeding frenzy. Those guys ain't single long, and if they are, it's usually their choice.

Several responders have given this as advice. It sounds solid. And I appreciate it. I am looking into this now. Thanks for the tip.

Again, like I stated in the OP, my limited experience is telling me to use online dating. But to use it in conjunction with going out, meeting new people, saying hi...etc, etc. I appreciate the replies. What an awesome community on these boards. Thank you.

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 12/1/2012 4:55:40 PM

littlewonder

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Edited to add that this is Kana writing from the lilone's machine

Oh, I ain't disagreeing that there are lots more men than women on this site, only a fool would argue that. What I do think is that the vast majority of said men are wankers, porn fantasists, HNG's, wannabe's and misogynists.
Cut out all the dross, the married guys looking for a slice on the side, the one line writers, the bedroom tops, the men who can't get a date in real life, and the seriously crazy, rude and/or disturbed, and all of a sudden the pool of men dramatically shrinks.
Then limit the pool again to those who know a thing or two about BDSM, maybe have been around the block once or twice, guys who've actually left the Star Trek convention and kissed a girl, and all of a sudden, it's my long term experience that there are a whole helluva lot more serious female subs/slaves than the limited pool of (ooooh, I hate to use this word but I can't think of another way to put it) truly dominant men.
But don't believe me-just listen to all the terrific women here on the forums who've been looking for ages.

Now, I was a bit tongue in cheek in my response, mostly because we watch cats like you bounce in on the forums about once a week, so don't take it the wrong way (I thought the magic 8 balls answer device would have given that away). My point is that online dating can be fine, in fact, my experience with CM has been nothing less than incredible, but it's all how you roll with it. There are lots of women here searching, it's just a matter of finding them and learning how to get noticed (Hint-do a forum search, look up a post from a few years back by a guy named Stephann about how to introduce yourself via mail-it's pretty fucking phenomenal, and worked well for him-he doms a Kink.com gal now, who he met on here)
And I completely second your ideas put forth in the final paragraph re a cohesive, holistic approach-it's probably the best method for success. Head to Philly, there's a pretty big scene there(In fact, there's a group in either Scranton or Wilkesbarre, IIRC), lots of young people, a pretty dynamic group. Get involved, meet some peeps. But you can do quite well for yourself if you never leave your house, I sure did.
And that's the kana survey stats.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 12/1/2012 5:02:10 PM >

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 12/2/2012 3:54:35 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

OT, am I the only one who keeps reading this as quarantined?

laughing here!

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RE: The best way to meet someone guaranteed - 12/2/2012 9:26:20 AM

kiwisub12

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I've met both of my lovers/significant others/dominants/sweeties on line. It works.

The thing is, you and the people you are talking to have to be looking for a real time relationship, not online . In both cases, i met them within a couple of weeks, because that was what i wanted. For me, spending months emailing and phoning when in real time we might not even click, would have been a huge waste of time.

and for what i wanted, trying to convert a vanilla person would have been very difficult.

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