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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a tool. Help! (12/7/2012 4:18:11 AM)
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Well put the nerd stuff back in. Put it at the top. It's really, really important that you show you have a personality beyond your sexual tastes.
At the risk of sounding obvious, men and women are different. I know this is a broad, sweeping generalisation, but most women can get as much sex as they want for very little effort. That includes kinky sex. Online there are way more men looking for a kinky partner than women, which means if a woman has a burning desire to act as a cock-cosy, she can get it. What is harder to find is someone that shares the kink but ALSO has a personality and is worth getting to know outside the bedroom. So if your profile is all about sex and nothing about the person, chances are she's going to move on and find someone who shares interests with her. Particularly since you are looking for a 24/7 TPE. I'm in a 24/7 TPE. Most of the time we are not having sex or playing. Those times are great, but the rest of the time we still have to build a life - pay the mortgage, study, entertain guests, shop for food etc. You need to show that you are someone worth doing all of that with. You're a nerd? Great. So you already scored an extra point on some nerdy girl's scorecard.
And again because of the numbers on this website and others like it, women aren't likely to contact you just on the off chance that you have something to offer, because there will be other profiles which tell her that right away and save time.
I agree it's good to get your expectations out there if you are looking for something specific, but honestly I'd dial it back and make it less explicit. It reads a bit like you got a bit excited and started typing out your fantasy. Save that for later. I don't need to know the ins and outs of your last masturbatory fantasy to get an idea if we are compatible, and it's a bit offputting. So maybe a concise outline. You're looking for someone into objectification. They will have a large number of rules and restrictions to follow. You want a punishment dynamic. You are very interested in watersports and prolonged bondage sessions. See how I got the important info in there without oversharing?
Lastly some of your desires seem a bit unrealistic. Tied up for days drinking only urine? That sounds like bad erotica. Imagine the reality of that. How would you make sure she was safe at all times? How would you make sure there was no loss of circulation? Do you know how to check for dehydration? Are you ready to have the house stink of urine and feces? Are you going to stay with her the entire time, in the knowledge that you'll be up for a murder charge if she falls into an odd position and suffocates or you go to the store and the house burns down? I also cringed a bit about how you're going to beat her bloody if she forgets to capitalize 'You'. I know some people like extreme, but personally I couldn't trust someone who was going to react in such an extreme way over a very tiny mistake. I'd very quickly be living in constant fear and the relationship we had would be gone. There are going to be a lot of mistakes early in the relationship. On both sides. I'd be dead if I got beat like that for every minor slip up.
I see you're very interested in micromanaging - which is absolutely fine and legitimate, but takes a lot of work on your part. Just something to bear in mind. A lot of people who start out doing this have to give it up, and you don't want to make big promises in your profile until you know you can keep them.
So, my suggestion for a good profile would be:
1-2 short paragraphs (about 4 sentences each) about you as a person. What do you do for a living, what do you like to do at the weekends, what are you passionate about, what good qualities do you have? Show me what you are bringing to the relationship. Awesome cook? Brave world traveler? Love political debate? Good at woodworking? Kind to animals?
1-2 short paragraphs about the relationship and the kink you are seeking. Not the gory details. The broad outline of what life with you would look like.
1 paragraph about your ideal person - again in general terms. Dont' say '21 years old, blonde, big boobs' but rather an age range, location if that's an issue, any particular personality traits you'd like her to have (adventurous, nerdy, funny, shy, party girl).
Phew. Essay finished.
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