quote:

ORIGINAL: Teios

Wow... first we have super aids and germaphobia.

Than we have blatant attacking on my character. Wow, okay never mind. You people are so helpful!

I mean I ask for simply advice and you assume the worst.

If this keeps up I'm just going to have to start Trolling the shit out of this site.

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ORIGINAL: mysteries1984

OP, your response makes you sound immature.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

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ORIGINAL: mysteries1984

OP, your response makes you sound immature.

He's 22. I doubt that many of us here were mature at 22. So, before you going throwing rocks think about where you were emotionally at 22.

Matter of fact, there are some here who are much older and less mature than OP.

quote:

We've seen trolls come and go. Besides which, all you'll do is piss off the mods, and that's just el stupido

quote:

ORIGINAL: Teios

Wow... first we have super aids and germaphobia.

Than we have blatant attacking on my character. Wow, okay never mind. You people are so helpful!

I mean I ask for simply advice and you assume the worst.

If this keeps up I'm just going to have to start Trolling the shit out of this site.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Teios

Hey, first post! (oh yeah I found a proxy that lets me through my schools internet blocker!)

So I'm new to the D/s relationship lifestyle. A few months ago I said 'screw it, I'm just going to do it'. Bdsm has long been a fantasy for me and now I'm taking steps to make it into a reality. I've decided to start with an online relationship, to kind of get my feet wet with. A few months ago, on another site, I answered an ad with a submissive woman seeking a Dom. So far we've kept it just a friendship. Not a real D/s relationship.

She's a shy girl who was looking for a way to to 'break out of her shell' and so I've been trying to help her on and off for a few months. She feels like a shut-in, not experiencing life. So been giving her easy tasks, like kiss 10 people's hand in a day. Something to make her more adventurous. However, I want to start taking this friendship and turn it into a D/s relationship. I've touched the subject, but she's nervous. I'm struggling because I want to start taking the steps, but I'm afraid it will scare her off.

What suggestions does the community have?

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominlosangeles

First reality check: If this is an online relationship, and you haven't even talked on the phone, you don't know if she's genuine. She could be a 65-year-old grandmother who is just having fun getting your emails. She could be a he. Anything is possible.

Second reality check: Assuming she is genuine, you are going about this all wrong by thinking in terms of "breaking her out of her shell" and "turning this friendship into a D/S relationship." Your first step should be in turning this online fantasy into something real, which simply means meeting in a public place over a cup of coffee and talking like two human beings.

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ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominlosangeles

First reality check: If this is an online relationship, and you haven't even talked on the phone, you don't know if she's genuine. She could be a 65-year-old grandmother who is just having fun getting your emails. She could be a he. Anything is possible.

Second reality check: Assuming she is genuine, you are going about this all wrong by thinking in terms of "breaking her out of her shell" and "turning this friendship into a D/S relationship." Your first step should be in turning this online fantasy into something real, which simply means meeting in a public place over a cup of coffee and talking like two human beings.

While I don't disagree with Kanas advice, in fact it's good stuff...but a little bit advanced advice for this situation IMO.
I do think the above quoted is a much better road to follow for the OP at this stage.
He is 22 years old, no experience, just coming out of his own fantasy shell and needs to interact with like-minded folks BEFORE jumping in with both feet. Plus, it really is a good idea to find out if his *ahem* target subject is in fact genuine and real because sadly, the above example is far to often the reality over the interwebz than what we in fact are actually seeking.

So, OP...my advice to you is, find out if this girl is what she says she is, then go meet her for coffee. Keep your first meeting with her on vanilla type "get to know her" terms, then on your second date (if one occurs) you can tell her to take her panties off for dinner. Do a search for local groups in your area, go meet people in the flesh. Fuck a bunch of that getting your feet wet (in the BDSM world) in a chat room or through email bullshit because when it's all said and done, a keyboard can't suck your cock.

Enjoy!

Lucifyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominlosangeles

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominlosangeles

First reality check: If this is an online relationship, and you haven't even talked on the phone, you don't know if she's genuine. She could be a 65-year-old grandmother who is just having fun getting your emails. She could be a he. Anything is possible.

Second reality check: Assuming she is genuine, you are going about this all wrong by thinking in terms of "breaking her out of her shell" and "turning this friendship into a D/S relationship." Your first step should be in turning this online fantasy into something real, which simply means meeting in a public place over a cup of coffee and talking like two human beings.

While I don't disagree with Kanas advice, in fact it's good stuff...but a little bit advanced advice for this situation IMO.
I do think the above quoted is a much better road to follow for the OP at this stage.
He is 22 years old, no experience, just coming out of his own fantasy shell and needs to interact with like-minded folks BEFORE jumping in with both feet. Plus, it really is a good idea to find out if his *ahem* target subject is in fact genuine and real because sadly, the above example is far to often the reality over the interwebz than what we in fact are actually seeking.

So, OP...my advice to you is, find out if this girl is what she says she is, then go meet her for coffee. Keep your first meeting with her on vanilla type "get to know her" terms, then on your second date (if one occurs) you can tell her to take her panties off for dinner. Do a search for local groups in your area, go meet people in the flesh. Fuck a bunch of that getting your feet wet (in the BDSM world) in a chat room or through email bullshit because when it's all said and done, a keyboard can't suck your cock.

Enjoy!

Lucifyre

That was my feeling too. Kanas' advice was fine, but a little too advanced for the OP. Kanas' advice somewhat assumes that the dom knows how to create a foundation where the sub trusts and likes him, and then he can move on to dominating the sub. My hunch is the OP really hasn't established that foundation -- in part because you can only establish a small part of that foundation online and in part, frankly, because at this point the OP has very little sense of how to act in a BDSM context. He's like a lot of people at his age. He says he wants to learn because in his heart he believes he already knows it all and the "advice" he wants is a trick or two that will put him over the top. He doesn't realize his own lack of knowledge yet.

The OP is obviously immature and emotional, starting off by calling himself "a humble grasshopper" seeking "advanced advice" and then going into a rage when people actually offer advice. I am not sure how he's interacted with this sub online, but his conduct on this bulletin board would make me guess it's been a mixed bag at best, which may be a reason for the sub's reticent (if the sub is in fact a young woman rather than a stubbled-faced truck driver).