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Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 6:20:51 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		In every case, I've known, subs/bottoms start off with a light pain tolerance, and then it deepens.

Is there any way to halt this? It's harder and harder to get my sub to tears or subspace.

Suggestions?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 6:46:29 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		It's not always about how hard you hit, but finessing the experience. Are yoou using any forms of psycholoogical torture on her before you start the impact play? Are you warming her up and priming her to be extra sensitiive physically (and emotionally) to the session? It's hard too know what to do without knowing the person in question intimately. But for example I have a high pain tolerance, so if soomeone simply put me on the equipment and started swinging away, it would take a lot to get to me.

That said, a warm bath, skin lotion, a cup of hot tea, and then using a hood to blind me beforehand leaves me flinching from a simple slap of palm.

Trying new angles instead of harder, might be the way to go. Or deprive and let tissues heal, it's very possible excessiive play has started to desensitize the nerves in yoour favorite areas?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 7:05:12 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for the ideas. One of the problems is that we get the chance to session later in the day and I have a relatively short window before I'm sleepy. I'll have to push it earlier and use some of your suggestions.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 7:23:31 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In every case, I've known, subs/bottoms start off with a light pain tolerance, and then it deepens.

Is there any way to halt this? It's harder and harder to get my sub to tears or subspace.

Suggestions?

Reduce the frequency of impact play, so that when it happens it is more physically and emotionally special. In its place, perform other gestures of adoration and lust.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 7:34:12 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh god, I could give a class on just this.

Bad music, try processing pain to christmas music
Cold, chill the room or the implements
Mind fuck them. Tell them it wont hurt and then no warm up. Psych em out about a new paindul toy you are afraid to use, blindfold em and use an old one
Surprise them, change the timing
Use new areas, use chemicals like salt or alcohol
Put their feet in ice water
Clothes pins on tongues, pinky toes, ears, under her arms
Restrict breathing.
Bondage tape their chests tight.
Talk about doing something taboo or an ex partner or a future partner

Or, as someone said, go soft for a bit, use pain as a reward, get inside their head and twist it all to get what you want.


(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 7:36:00 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This is why I like various forms of play. If you keep changing up different types of pain, methods, etc, that issue doesn't come up as much.

I know you aren't into edge play. I'd at least add wax if I were you, if you haven't already. Not a whole lot of complaints about folks not getting spacey from that. (Bottoms who love wax tend to really love it.) Vary up your impact play a bit so the same sensations aren't always incorporated and/or intensity isn't always the same.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 9:48:55 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Oh god, I could give a class on just this.

Bad music, try processing pain to christmas music
Cold, chill the room or the implements
Mind fuck them. Tell them it wont hurt and then no warm up. Psych em out about a new paindul toy you are afraid to use, blindfold em and use an old one
Surprise them, change the timing
Use new areas, use chemicals like salt or alcohol
Put their feet in ice water
Clothes pins on tongues, pinky toes, ears, under her arms
Restrict breathing.
Bondage tape their chests tight.
Talk about doing something taboo or an ex partner or a future partner

Or, as someone said, go soft for a bit, use pain as a reward, get inside their head and twist it all to get what you want.



The one time he made a comment about a future partner, I got up, grabbed my purse, and proceeded to leave his house. He stopped me at the door, however.

I do agree about loud, bad music - totally distracts from getting into a good head space.

And being cold - ever jam your finger when your hand was really cold??


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 10:16:21 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not even money works for everyone, not every bow brings out music from a violin, and not every kink works on everyone.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 10:20:13 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

...Talk about ... an ex partner or a future partner


Have you ever used that trick to an outcome you liked?!

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 11:17:18 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		For inspiring sub space, no. Other beneficial results? Absolutely.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 11:33:12 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

For inspiring sub space, no. Other beneficial results? Absolutely.


Can I ask, what were those beneficial results?


_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 11:39:58 AM   
Nakhla


Posts: 104
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline
Different areas and implements. Also, this could be just me, but "stingy" pain seems to stay rather sharper in my mind than "thudding" pain e.g. a crop kind of stays "annoying" in a way that a flogger just doesn't.

( As a complete aside, I find it weird how the body actually adjusts to injury. I remember being with a sadist who caned me a lot, and the first time the bruises lasted almost a week, but after a couple months, they faded within a day from the same amount of effort. )

Oh, and someone needs to update Collarme's interests list so I can add "Christmas Music" to hard limits.

_____________________________

Submediant In Search Of Dominant Resolution... Formerly WestBaySlave on these forums.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 12:22:11 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
Can I ask, what were those beneficial results?

This is kind of off of the path that Steven got us started down, so I'll make you a deal. I'll answer this question here and if you want to see it get turned into a more lengthy discussion, we start a different thread. OK?

Talking about an ex/future partner can have benefits for certain areas. Two of those that are rather prominent (for Me) are in the areas of cucks and voyeurs. Not everything necessarily has to be seen. Some things you can describe and still get the same reaction. That can be anything. Emotional masochism, humiliation fun, orgasm denial, and all kinds of other things for cucks. Voyeurs love to watch. They love to hear recounts as well.

Talking about a kink in the bedroom as a stepping stone is a way to ease a person into wanting to do it themselves or together. Telling somebody how hot you think X is during sexual activity is a way to start getting them to think it's hot, too. (One of the reasons it's a bad idea to make life changing decisions in the bedroom.) Men *want* to give women their sexual fantasies, regardless of role. Power of suggestion can lead to fabulous outcomes.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 3:50:07 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In every case, I've known, subs/bottoms start off with a light pain tolerance, and then it deepens.

Is there any way to halt this? It's harder and harder to get my sub to tears or subspace.

Suggestions?



Are you trying for tears, subspace, or BOTH?

Because if Mr used any of SM's suggestions on me in a scene it would do nothing but keep me out of subspace and might simply just piss me right off.
For me, tears come more easily when I am able to relax and let my head get all the way into whatever it is that Mr is doing. Pain alone doesn't do that for me at all. When he is able to touch me on an emotional level, even if it's being drawn out as a reaction to something physical (i.e. a great orgasm, or a carress up my back with a whisper of something *deep* during a hard impact session) those are the kinds of things that draw tears out of me as well as help me get my mind deeper into the headspace that carries me.

I dunno if any of that made any sense to you, I hope so because I could see clearly exactly what I meant :)

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 5:03:48 PM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Bad music, try processing pain to christmas music


Sheesh, Mike! He asked for ways to torture sub, not Dominant. I would run out, screaming.

quote:

Mind fuck them. Psych em out about a new paindul toy you are afraid to use, blindfold em and use an old one


Ooh, yeah. That's fun to do. I remember one session, in particular, when that worked especially well. I had laid out several implements to be used on subbie - one was a wire brush (you know, the kind you use to clean the grill?) - and made sure he saw it all. Strapped him to the rack, blindfolded him, then proceeded to use other things, first. When it came time to "wire brush" him, I used the bristles of my hairbrush. His brain told him it was the wire brush and his reactions were glorious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nakhla
Oh, and someone needs to update Collarme's interests list so I can add "Christmas Music" to hard limits.


So we all can. Xmas music is torture!

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to Nakhla)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 5:52:28 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Thanks for the ideas. One of the problems is that we get the chance to session later in the day and I have a relatively short window before I'm sleepy. I'll have to push it earlier and use some of your suggestions.


I appreciate Doms so much - y'all do all the work! Can you save the more intense sessions for when you have a bigger window?

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 6:37:31 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

...Talk about ... an ex partner or a future partner


Have you ever used that trick to an outcome you liked?!


Email me and I will answer...

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 7:34:34 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Hit her harder


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 8:59:01 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Do you let her get into subspace? Or does she float easily.

Cold wet towels are called wet and cold for a reason.

Blindfold and put in ear plugs and switch up toys, go from stingy to thuddy or whatever to keep her from processing it.

Or go the other way, talk all sweet and loving while you hurt her, as if there was no pain. Ask her why is my.little girl crying? Then ratchet up the speculum, put a drop of ginger juice somewhere tender, and use a thin carbon rod on her labia. Make sure the handle covers her clit in case your aim is off.

When she is crying, in your most hurt voice ask "dont you want daddy to touch you"


(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Kicks just keep getting harder to find... - 12/11/2012 9:14:04 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

Are you trying for tears, subspace, or BOTH?

Lucifyre


More like either. When I session with her, if it's intense enough, she'll go down the one path or the other. But there's no predicting which way she'll go. I suspect her headspace may dictate which wins out.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lucifyre)
Profile   Post #: 20
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