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My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 5:55:26 AM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

I am confused on why my Daddy/dom says things to me like "I'm your Daddy for as long as u want me to be your Daddy" We have a LDR so I could up and turn my cam off and never return but I take this seriously and would never disrespect my Daddy/dom by doing that. Is this normal to say or is he dealing with some insecurities? Is there something i could be doing to help.

Thanks twstdprincess

Post #: 1

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 6:10:23 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I'm more confused by you than him. Your profile says that you're willing to relocate, and " I am not looking for a virtual dom so if u live far away from Washington state I will not be interested so save us both some time."

Yet here you are in an LDR, and your profile doesn't even mention him. Of course he assumes the relationship's not going to last when your own profile announces he's not a part of your life, and he's not what you're looking for.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 2

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 6:12:04 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I don't know, sounds like he's half in and half out, like he's skirting the subject - that's not really how a committed person talks.

I'm not really sure why you are in this LDR when you say in your profile that you're not looking for a virtual relationship? Maybe he knows the distance between you two means it's not all that serious? Maybe he's married and this is just him getting some jollies long distance...?

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 3

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 6:45:06 AM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

Because im already in a ldr im not looking for another ldr. Thank you for your input it has given me a new angle to think about this from and also has my mind spinning on ways to reassure him that all is on track. Could explain why is acting out so irrationlly lately.

twstdprincess

< Message edited by twstdprincess -- 12/12/2012 6:50:23 AM >

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 4

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 6:47:23 AM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

i state in my profile that i am not looking for ldr because i clearly have one already. I dont need another. He is located in london, united kingdom. When i say willing to relocate i am willing to relocate within my state. I feel my profile for the lack of private information was addressed here and not my question. I am not looking to have my profile critiqued i am looking for help in understanding my daddy/dom and advice on how to be better for him so that these things do not cross his mind to even say.

Thank you however for your honesty. It is always refreshing to come across someone like myself that is not afraid to call it as they see it. i truly do appreciate you.

twstdprincess

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 7:26:55 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

I think lizi got it in 1.

This is not how a proper and committed Dom would communicate - even for a LDR.

If you are not prepared to relocate beyond your local state then I think he knows this and is just getting his online jollies for fun.

I also think that dangling him on a piece of string is not nice if you have no intention of you two getting together.
He is no more your "Daddy Dom" than any other stranger on the interwebzz.

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 6

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 7:47:55 AM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

well obviously a little background info is needed and then i would really like those of you who have already given your input to do so again because u all sound like very intelligent people. We started chatting 6 months ago. Are chats started out every few days and quickly worked into every day. After work and on our days off as well as at work when we had down time. When i was sick i fell asleep during a video chat and when i woke he was still there. He has counsled me through a personal crisis always being there whenever I reached out. We frequently eat meals together via video chat and sometimes fall asleep and wake up via video chat. Being so far away we decided that what happens on his side of his computer and what happens on my side of my computer we will support eachother in which means there is no reason to hide any part of our lives from one another, which as you know, is how it should be. Sometimes it is hard to hear of one u are romantically involved with flirting or becoming interested in someone, even more so when that person is there and can do all the things you wish you could do for eachother, but we get through it. However, whatever happens virtually is where the romantic part of this becomes more traditional. As far as being submissive, i carry that out into my side of the computer. If he decides that someone im seeing is not good for me then i will end my involvement with that person as i know that at the end of the day Daddy wants what is best for me. He is aware that there are more than a few men that wish to get to know me. But he acknowledges that when they call i dont always answer. But when i see Daddy come online i Sit by the computer waiting for his call and i always answer his call.

So when he says things to me that make it sound like he is feeling insecure it troubles me greatly. i just want some insight into what others with experience think might be going on and what i can do to make this situation better.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 7

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 7:50:17 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

A mentor of sorts, perhaps, but you guys are really just penpals.

Sorry.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 8

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 7:53:05 AM

TwistedChange

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/12/2012
Status: offline

I think this guy is exploiting the fact that some subs can't tell a guy to get lost. His is also pulling the pity card with his 'for as long as you want me' line - if a Dom inspires pity in you, its not a good sign. He's hanging on by the skin of his teeth here. It's clear you don't really want a LDR but you are still with this guy. You need to piss or get off the pot, quite frankly.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 9

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 7:58:56 AM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

// snark = ON //
Oh, goodie, I get to say "communicate with him" first.
// end snark //

Seems that you have a pretty good relationship and should (<== I hate that word) be able to discuss this between you two.

The other choice?
I'll edit in my signature line to make it permanent:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

That is, you seem to think / know that it's time to move on..... but you seem to need our permission to do so. Fine. Permission granted.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 12/12/2012 8:03:57 AM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 10

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 8:09:53 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If he decides that someone im seeing is not good for me then i will end my involvement with that person as i know that at the end of the day Daddy wants what is best for me.

This is the sort of thing that leads to men living in terror of every woman they speak to. A guy says this or that.....repeated to your 'protector' who lives in a far off land, it is analyzed and the 'wizard' from far off protects you by telling you to kick him to the curb.

Someone who has need of a 'protector', to sort out the goblins from the good, has no need of human men.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 11

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 8:36:03 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twstdprincess
So when he says things to me that make it sound like he is feeling insecure it troubles me greatly. i just want some insight into what others with experience think might be going on and what i can do to make this situation better.

What would be a better situation? You living in the UK? Him living here? You sure have invested a lot of yourself in a man who cannot EVER meet your needs. He knows that. You know that. The "insecurity" he feels is probably more like "realism".

And, as Ron noted, you having online protectors is definitely going to mess with your chance of finding an offline Dom. Why can't this guy be your "friend"? I have friends... some of whom are online only... some of whom are submissive. They aren't my "subs" or "slaves". They are my friends and we care about each other a great deal.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 12

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 8:58:42 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

A long distance relationship is a relationship where you have met face to face, and travel to see each other. (Leaving out deployment situations).

If you have a relationship where you have never met, it's an online relationship. You're fantasizing with a stranger.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 13

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 9:31:36 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Question

quote:

ORIGINAL: twstdprincess
I am confused on why my Daddy/dom says things to me like "I'm your Daddy for as long as u
want me to be your Daddy"

Answer

quote:

ORIGINAL: twstdprincess
We have a LDR so I could up and turn my cam off and never return

It sounds pretty cut and dried to me. And as Jeff said, it sounds like it's more opportunistic
realism on his part than insecurities. As long as you keep feeding the cam, he will view it.
I think his take it or leave it attitude is leaving you feeling insecure, and that's something
you should discuss with him...although resolving those feelings can't be an easy task,
considering the limits of your relationship.

< Message edited by poise -- 12/12/2012 9:32:35 AM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 14

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 9:43:25 AM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

If you establish a serious real time relationship with a local Dom, are you still going to also submit to this guy in London you'll never meet?

Because I feel like that's probably unlikely, and he knows that. That's why he doesn't want you to meet with these other guys, but also why he's acting like his time with you is limited. Because it is. He'll be your online Daddy Dom, until you find something serious in real life.

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 15

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 11:59:47 AM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

No I will not continue to submit to londno and he does know that, Just as I know when he meets someone he is interested in long term I will lose him as well. But we both know that even when that happens although we might not talk anymore or for years that we will always be able to pick up where we left off just as good friends are able to do. He has never stopped me from meeting, dating, or screwing anyone. The few people he has cautioned me about he was right.
Thank you for your insight you have given me a place to start from.

(in reply to graceadieu)

Post #: 16

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 12:02:45 PM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

Thank you for your advice. I have a good idea of how to approach this now.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 17

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 12:05:57 PM

twstdprincess

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

thank you for your input, it was actually helpful.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 18

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 5:48:21 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twstdprincess

I am confused on why my Daddy/dom says things to me like "I'm your Daddy for as long as u want me to be your Daddy" We have a LDR so I could up and turn my cam off and never return but I take this seriously and would never disrespect my Daddy/dom by doing that. Is this normal to say or is he dealing with some insecurities? Is there something i could be doing to help.

Thanks twstdprincess

Because it is the truth.

I am in a real time relationship that is nearly 4 years old.
I can not picture my life without Him.
He owns me.

However, that ownership is conditional upon my acceptance and consent for Him to be [my] Master.
If I ever choose for this relationship end then He will cease to be [my] Master.
If He ever chooses this relationship to end then I will cease to be His slave.
Our relationship is based on choice.

There is no insecurity involved in that.

Your daddy may have a better idea as to the general nature of online relationships than you do.
If you are still searching for a real-time relationship then he likely knows that your online relationship will end when you find one. It sounds like your daddy is a realist.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to twstdprincess)

Post #: 19

RE: My Daddy/dom is confusing me. - 12/12/2012 6:47:58 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Since you have no intention of moving to London, he knows you're not serious and so he's just playing along until you get bored and move on.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 20

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