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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/26/2012 4:52:15 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Yes!

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 7:09:14 AM   
mnottertail


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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 11:08:21 AM   
Nakhla


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKvNtAVZyOc


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfkDfoMJr18

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 11:19:54 AM   
TheRyan7


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/25/2012
Status: offline 		Immaturity is probably the biggest.

(in reply to teeagedom)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 11:51:49 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with young dom/mes in-fact I have mentored a couple of young dommes and helped a young dom find a local mentor. Nor do I have an issue with young subs.

I think people equate age with maturity or life experience.
I've meet people my age and older who were extremely immature and sheltered.

Every persons mileage varies.
Every persons life experiences varies.

Relax and remember that no one but YOU defines you.
If you begin to rant and rave well your becoming who / what they say you are.








< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 12/27/2012 11:55:41 AM >

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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 11:53:13 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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Joined: 10/24/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRyan7

Immaturity is probably the biggest.



Are you suggesting that older folks aren't immature?
That they don't make immature decisions or act in a childish manner?

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 11:59:16 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Of course not. And this is where "age" discussions always go stupid for me.

Honestly it doesn't seem like that much of a stretch to assume that from my perspective at 49, a 22 year old is likely to be "immature". That doesn't mean they are a child. Nor is it meant as an insult unless one thinks of reality as insulting. It means that I have more than double the total life experience they have and a whopping 775% of the adult life experience they have (if you count adult starting at 18 rather than after college). It's not really a point that ought to need debating.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 12:27:49 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRyan7

Immaturity is probably the biggest.



Are you suggesting that older folks aren't immature?
That they don't make immature decisions or act in a childish manner?


But young people are more likely to be immature, because they've had less time to mature. And a mature 20 year old will be more mature at 40, and an immature 40 year old was even less mature at 20. So it's not an unreasonable generalisation that a person of 19 might not be mature enough for your tastes. There are always exceptions, but those people demonstrate through their actions that they are the exception; just saying 'I'm really mature/experienced, give me a chance' isn't enough.

I was doing this at the OPs age and I'm sure lots of people wouldn't have taken the time to figure out whether I was mature enough to be their partner. But that's ok. I really think your intimate relationships are one area in which you are entitled to whatever restrictions and preferences you want to exercise. In general, I know an 18 year old or a 50 year old will be on a different level to me maturity-wise, so I reserve the right to not date 18 year olds or 50 year olds - my love life is not an equal opportunities system, I can make whatever generalizations I want.

I know it sucks to feel like no one takes you seriously because of your age, which is why I always try to give helpful answers in these threads. But a part of gaining that maturity is being able to step back and understand that you might not have as much to offer now as you do ten years from now.

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: problem with young Doms - 12/27/2012 12:59:01 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		@AthenaSurrenders, age like many other things is a personal preference when it comes to relationships,however; simply because they are not your personal preference so not mean they won't be someone elses. I know many young subs who won't take a dom old enough to be their parent. So someone the OPs age would be perfect.

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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/30/2012 4:57:12 AM   
Epytropos


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Status: offline 		The more things stay, the more they change the same.

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RE: problem with young Doms - 12/30/2012 6:51:06 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

@AthenaSurrenders, age like many other things is a personal preference when it comes to relationships,however; simply because they are not your personal preference so not mean they won't be someone elses. I know many young subs who won't take a dom old enough to be their parent. So someone the OPs age would be perfect.


Sorry I didn't see this. I agree, preference for an 18-23 year old partner is every bit as valid as preference for a 40-45 year old partner. I was more responding to the way people often take offense when it's suggested that younger people are less mature when in broad terms, it's true, and not a personal criticism of those young people.
I'm assuming that since the OP is close to the bottom of the possible age spectrum here the majority of potential partners are older than him, and older people are more likely to think a 19 year old will be immature.

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Profile   Post #: 71
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/1/2013 7:19:48 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teeagedom
can some one explain to me why many people have a problem with younger Doms/Masters?


A big chunk of the people around here are somewhat older, a lot of the responses you're getting wouldn't be particularly different than if straight women were asked why they didn't want to get into relationships with guys half their age.

(in reply to teeagedom)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/1/2013 7:51:08 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Honestly it doesn't seem like that much of a stretch to assume that from my perspective at 49, a 22 year old is likely to be "immature". That doesn't mean they are a child. Nor is it meant as an insult unless one thinks of reality as insulting. It means that I have more than double the total life experience they have and a whopping 775% of the adult life experience they have (if you count adult starting at 18 rather than after college). It's not really a point that ought to need debating.


Let's rephrase this into something solid:

1) All other things being equal, more life experience translates into greater maturity.
2) All other things being equal, more years lived translates into more life experience.
3) It is exceedingly rare for all other things to be equal in any human affairs.

This is one of my beefs with the notion of an age of consent. At 11 or so, I had the maturity and intellectual capacity of an average 18 year old here. At 14 or 15 or so, I had the life experience of an average 18 year old here. The other way around, most of the 30 to 40 year olds around me lack the maturity, intellectual capacity and life experience I had at 20. Bright 80 year olds appreciate my long time scale perspective on life and the world, which they have arrived at by having been adults nearly five times as long as me.

Time merely provides the opportunity to grow, mature and learn.

Som make better use of this opportunity than others.

IWYW,
— Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/9/2013 6:33:29 PM   
Saffleur


Posts: 250
Joined: 8/14/2006
From: Lenoir NC
Status: offline 		I was your age at one time and now that a decade has passed there are a lot fo things you can reflect on and see the why of people feeling that way.

I am stubborn to a fault sometimes and don't plan on working on that. Stick with it and be open-minded. Acknowledge criticism and look for actual insight in each of them. Don't make it a priority to change who you are from the pressure of others but be wise enough to make adjustments that would better who you are as a person.

Cultivate yourself in to what you want to be and strive to improve yourself daily. That's what will matter personally in the long run. What you think of yourself. Not what some one thinks of you.

Don't be afraid to find out who you really are. It may cause fear in the pit of your stomach but it's better to know who and what you are than to put on the facade of some trumped up online socialite.

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/9/2013 7:37:36 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Everyone in this thread will die before me.

There's one of the perks to being young. You also do not carry an odd aroma, assuming you shower.

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/9/2013 7:42:48 PM   
ServosCor


Posts: 267
Joined: 9/3/2012
Status: offline 		NS..........how do you figure that   "Everyone in this thread will die before me"? 
 
         Im not getting your logic here.
 
                     ~servos cor~

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/10/2013 7:14:31 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
Some make better use of this opportunity than others.

This is a given. But unless you are prepared to support the argument that broad generalities have no utility or that this broad generality is incorrect then I stand by my statement.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/10/2013 5:44:25 PM   
Dreadmath


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/10/2013
Status: offline 		Being a Master generally involves more than being in a kinky relationship, ask yourself these questions:

Material:
1) Can you provide for yourself and (if necessary) your partner (who as your slave is under your care), manage a household?
2) Do you have contingency plans for unexpected situations? (Damages, illness, being fired etc)

Psychological:
3) Are you consistent in your habits and behavior? Are you confident without being arrogant? Do you iterate and evaluate yourself on specific intervals whilst striving for self-improvement?
4) Can you give discipline but not abuse? Keep the mood light and pleasant but also make your partner feel safe? Care for but not spoil?

Those are what I would consider "baseline" when talking about if someone can call himself a Master. A lot of people don't have them. And even if you are a young person who manages to satisfy the above, you need to understand that people will always want to play it safe and judge quickly. In fact part of being a Master involves (According to 3) that you do not let what most people assume about you, get to you.

(in reply to dominlosangeles)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/10/2013 8:11:50 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Everyone in this thread will die before me.

There's one of the perks to being young. You also do not carry an odd aroma, assuming you shower.



I find that younger people, particularly males, are more likely to get a little funky.

That's a very odd analogy. How do you know you won't flip your car tomorrow?

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HBIC



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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: problem with young Doms - 1/11/2013 1:24:45 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreadmath

Being a Master generally involves more than being in a kinky relationship, ask yourself these questions:

Material:
1) Can you provide for yourself and (if necessary) your partner (who as your slave is under your care), manage a household?
2) Do you have contingency plans for unexpected situations? (Damages, illness, being fired etc)

Psychological:
3) Are you consistent in your habits and behavior? Are you confident without being arrogant? Do you iterate and evaluate yourself on specific intervals whilst striving for self-improvement?
4) Can you give discipline but not abuse? Keep the mood light and pleasant but also make your partner feel safe? Care for but not spoil?

Those are what I would consider "baseline" when talking about if someone can call himself a Master. A lot of people don't have them. And even if you are a young person who manages to satisfy the above, you need to understand that people will always want to play it safe and judge quickly. In fact part of being a Master involves (According to 3) that you do not let what most people assume about you, get to you.


You have put a lot of thought into what it means to be a Master and are exceptional in that regard for someone your age.

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Profile   Post #: 80
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