RE: Strong feelings in D/s

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RE: Strong feelings in D/s - attachments - 12/17/2012 12:43:53 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I would just add that when I tell her that (what will be effectively) an online relationship cannot interest me, and that I would look for another partner for a physical relationship, she does freak out and says she cannot accept sharing me with anyone else. So it is not clear to me that she is trying to say that she wants to end the relationship.

I could either end it now and look for a new partner, or give her time to see what she decides. But being in touch with her and not being able to "have" her in real life is very hard for me.

Ok, you're confusing me. Has it always been a (mostly) online relationship? Why can't you see her regularly? How many miles apart are you?

What exactly is the age gap and in what direction?

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RE: Strong feelings in D/s - attachments - 12/17/2012 1:47:02 PM

seekingreality

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Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bebetter

Thank you for the responses, everyone.

I would just add that when I tell her that (what will be effectively) an online relationship cannot interest me, and that I would look for another partner for a physical relationship, she does freak out and says she cannot accept sharing me with anyone else. So it is not clear to me that she is trying to say that she wants to end the relationship.

I could either end it now and look for a new partner, or give her time to see what she decides. But being in touch with her and not being able to "have" her in real life is very hard for me.

Thank you.

Seems to me like there is a complete lack of communication between you two.

Because of that, you come online to try to get people to guess what's going on between you, and she "freaks out."

There is a lot of (unnecessary) drama going on. And that's probably from a host of reasons: one or both of you gets off on the drama; It's easier to "freak out" or make veiled threats ("I will look for another partner") than to honestly decide what you want and have an honest conversation where you clearly and compassionately lay out your wants, you needs, and your dealbreakers.

And her "freaking out" may be nothing more than conscious or unconscious manipulation to keep things as she wants them.

I think the starting point is simple: Decide what you need from the relationship, and what you are willing and not willing to accept. That's not easy. But once you do that, you can have an honest conversation with her.

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