RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (Full Version)

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SeekingTrinity -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 11:14:18 AM)

Id suggest that you be who you are, rather than trying to change your own behavior to suit an image of what a dominant is supposed to act like. If you start trying to be someone or not just to try and fit that image, it stops becoming organic and natural. Just do you [:)] And serious do not be worried about how others view you. You sound like you are living in the real world and some others live in the "weal twue DOMINANT" world. Who gives a fuck what they think?

Im one of those types who addresses people as "Sir/Ma'am" when appropriate, uses "please, thank you," and asks people to do things for me rather than just demanding it. Thats who I am as a person, so it naturally is just part of who I am as a dominant female.



lizi -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 11:22:19 AM)

Good manners and kindness does not equal weakness. Not sure why you'd care what someone else thinks, do what seems right to you.

I'm not sure I'd ever be interested in someone that thought being Dominant precluded the usual social niceties, that's just me; I tend to go for Dominant men who are polite when it is warranted.



theRose4U -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 1:44:43 PM)

I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??[X(]



ARIES83 -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 1:51:53 PM)

Theres nothing wrong with having manners,
especially if there are kids around or in social
situations...

-Aries



JeffBC -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 2:28:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??[X(]

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.



AgentX99 -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 2:34:37 PM)

I'm polite, kind, and courteous to everyone with whom I interact, including restaurant staff, taxi drivers, retail clerks, and anyone else, and if someone doesn't like that, then they're going to encounter my 6'5" 310lb former angry powerlifter personality, who smashes people repeatedly into walls . .

I like my new, friendlier personality a LOT better . .



OsideGirl -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 2:37:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??[X(]

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.



Why are you the only one with the official rule book?



KnightofMists -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 3:22:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

I have always had manners and been polite. I find myself from time to time when a submissive is serving me say the occasional thank you or instead of saying "get me this" I might say "would you mind getting me this" is this an issue that I need to address and work on?


Behave in the manner that makes you feel good about you! And forget about how others think you should behave



JeffBC -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 8:17:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Why are you the only one with the official rule book?

I paid for the expedited shipping. But hey, if you're still waiting for your copy I'll be happy to look up any answers you need.



DesFIP -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 8:24:44 PM)

There's a time and place for everything.

"Honey, would you please get me another cup of tea?" is perfectly appropriate.

Grabbing her by the neck, throat fucking her while saying " Could you please give me a blow job?" is going to come across weird.



JeffBC -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 9:39:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Grabbing her by the neck, throat fucking her while saying " Could you please give me a blow job?" is going to come across weird.

Well of COURSE that's going to come across weird. For starters, how can you fuck her throat properly when you're grabbing her by the neck. Her head's gonna be flipping and flopping all over the place. I find a firm grip on the skull gives a lot more control. Oh... and I'd have asked politely if it was OK to fuck her throat before I did it not after... it's a cart & horse thing.



ServosCor -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/15/2012 9:46:50 PM)

  Politeness and manners are never out of style.  Nor are they a sign of weakness or a "less Domly" personality.  Be yourself.  Do what YOU are comfortable doing and what makes YOU happy!  :)

                ~ servos cor ~



Kana -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/16/2012 6:54:46 AM)

Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness... nor forgiveness as
acceptance...it is the knowledge that hate and resentment are not the
pathway to inner peace.


KamaSutra





sexyred1 -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/16/2012 11:37:30 AM)

I find it sad that people need to ask other adults if kindness, consideration and manners are "ok".

Shakes head.



DesFIP -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/16/2012 11:52:04 AM)

Hey Jeff, so how much are you charging for a samizdat copy of the official rule book?



theRose4U -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/16/2012 11:57:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??[X(]

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.


Yeah but beating him with a rake messes up the rake & a shovel or claw hammer to the nuts is just rude!! What do you suggest?



RaspberryLemon -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/17/2012 1:15:18 PM)

My Master almost always "asks nicely." Most of his orders are phrased in requests like "Would you get me a drink?" and he always says thank you. Him phrasing it like that doesn't make it any less of an order. I know what he wants, so I follow through, regardless of how I'm asked.

And I will say that I for one appreciate him being considerate and polite like that. It feels more personal the way he talks to me, and I like that. And receiving praise and "thank you"s makes me feel appreciated and helps me to know I'm doing a good job.

There's nothing wrong with having your own style of issuing orders. Being considerate and polite, by a lot of people's standards, is a good thing. If my Master felt the need to be mean or rude when giving orders, I'd have a hard time having any respect for him.



CharmingKitty -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/17/2012 2:10:43 PM)

I prefer thank you's and politely phrased commands. I understand some might not like this because you don't really need to thank or be nice about something someone needs to do.
But I think that a kind word and a well placed apology are more "dominant" traits than someone who ignores when they've made a mistake.
However that's just me. You really need to communicate with your partner to know what side of the fence they are on.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/17/2012 2:17:23 PM)

I reiterate- if you had a boss or teacher who was rude and mean for no other reason than they believed it was their right to treat people "lower" than them like that, would you stick around? Personally, I would be looking for a new job or transferring classes because people who are unable to observe common courtesy because they are "too important", should not be trusted.



JeffBC -> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom (12/17/2012 4:17:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
I reiterate- if you had a boss or teacher who was rude and mean for no other reason than they believed it was their right to treat people "lower" than them like that, would you stick around? Personally, I would be looking for a new job or transferring classes because people who are unable to observe common courtesy because they are "too important", should not be trusted.

But that thinking only works because you're looking at a "master" as a boss or teacher. That's the same viewpoint I have... a non-fantasy based leadership model. But for someone who wanted some specific buttons pressed then "polite" may not cut it. In that case they aren't trying to create an actual authority dynamic, they are trying to satisfy a fantasy and different rules apply.



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