RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only

RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 9:10:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1 But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be? I won't have sex with someone until I'm comfortable. If you don't think I'm worth the wait, then clearly, you're not the person for me. If you pressure me, I'll walk away. quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 She replied, "I wrote that so I wouldn't look like a whore on the internet. You won't have to wait that long." We met the next day, and had sex. I said it and meant it. Hell, I had been friends with Master for three years before we dated....and I STILL waited to have sex.

RedMagic1 -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 9:21:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 She replied, "I wrote that so I wouldn't look like a whore on the internet. You won't have to wait that long." We met the next day, and had sex. I said it and meant it. Hell, I had been friends with Master for three years before we dated....and I STILL waited to have sex. Different women are different. (Shocking idea, I know.) She had been in a loveless marriage, and had only banged her vibe for four years. I was her first man since her 4-yo son had been conceived. It was great -- like dating a virgin with skillzzzz. Not trying to say that women who wait are inferior or worse. Except for you, OsideGirl. You've been very, very bad........

OsideGirl -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 9:28:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Except for you, OsideGirl. You've been very, very bad........ [sm=crop.gif]

poise -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 9:35:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1 I never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. Call me crazy, but what you see as spending up to 2 months with someone and discussing expectations could be considered the same as a woman waiting to see if an emotional attachment develops before she has sex. We all have needs, and one of mine is that I have to submit to a man emotionally before I can submit to his cock. Call me even crazier, but if you're spending two months with someone and focussing only on what your expectations are, I see an awful lot of lather rinse and repeat in your future. Relationships, even if they are purely physical, have expectations that have to be met from both participants.

MsLadySue -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 9:53:29 AM)
OP, my advice to you is keep this saying in mind. Take me as I am or watch me walk away.

JeffBC -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 10:08:12 AM)
This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable. For some that amount is zero. For others it is "wedding vows". For most it's somewhere in between. How can you not know this? But in your profile you talk about all the fakes and people who don't have a clue what this lifestyle is all about. I suspect I'm one of those people because the relationship I've formed is a fairly normal, love-based relationship that just happens to have an authority dynamic in it. In your head is a true lifestyle relationship based upon the authority dynamic and kink? Because if so that's your problem right there. You're right... most of the female subs are fakes because most of them want the full enchilada.

OsideGirl -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 10:28:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable. Actually, for me it wasn't emotional bonding. It was that tingly genitals often confuse the matter of whether you actually like that person or not. Then somewhere around the three month mark, you come out of it and realize that you're with someone that is a schmuck.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 10:52:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable. Actually, for me it wasn't emotional bonding. It was that tingly genitals often confuse the matter of whether you actually like that person or not. Then somewhere around the three month mark, you come out of it and realize that you're with someone that is a schmuck. I suspect that's what some people are counting on.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 3:34:36 PM)
The tingly genitals have gotten me a few times...which is why I now have all the disclaimers in my profile. an ounce of prevention, you know

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 3:51:51 PM)
Because most of us are not meet and fuk kind of women. Nothing wrong with those who are, but nothing wrong with those who are not either. Personally I'm not a I need 2 months before I will fuck you kin of girl however if the guys being an impatient ass I would write them off period> quote: ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1 Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here. Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face. I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be? Again not being rude, just asking. blkdeviant1 quote: chment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

littlewonder -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 4:46:55 PM)
If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night. Good luck!

JeffBC -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 4:49:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night. It's this sort of practical, useful information that keeps me coming back here. I honestly would not have known how to find a woman for a free, casual fuck. Yay!

littlewonder -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 4:59:31 PM)
Why thanks! It looks like my past days of drunken nightclub hopping were good for something!

cordeliasub -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 5:01:26 PM)
I can say that for me personally, I have tried the whole no strings/friend with benefits kind of thing....and I am just not wired for it. if I want to have sex with someone, then I become attached. If I don't want to become attached, then I am probably not interested in sex with them. That is just me. And I am one who can be distracted by "tingly genitals" (I love that) as well. So if I know it is off the table until I feel safe emotionally, then I can really open up and get to know them. Plus, and I know we live and learn, but all it takes is a couple of times where you fuck someone, start to feel something, and they disappear, to teach you that it is better all the way around to wait. I'm just too much of a softie to take it completely lightly. No one ever dies from waiting, contrary to those high school urban legends.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 6:28:13 PM)
I'm not a submissive, although I used to be, but a person can't dictate who answers on a thread. lol The ladies could just as well be asking you "Why do you want to just fuck and suck right off the bat?" I don't think not wanting to wait makes you an "ass," but it does make you impatient and dick-centric. Her need for commitment and/or trust is just as important to her as your sexual urges are to you. Your sexual urges are not her problem. Her feeling safe before getting involved with you is. There's nothing wrong with wanting some NSA sex if that's your thing. But there's also nothing wrong with her wanting to know a guy gives a shit about her before fucking him or sucking his dick. If all you want is an NSA fuck & suck now and then, there are "professionals" out there for that sort of thing. As for the D/s and BDSMy stuff, a submissive needs to be able to trust you and know that you have her best interests at heart before she can feel safe submitting to you. How can you not understand that? Surely you can't expect a submissive to be vulnerable with you without knowing if she can trust you? I found out the "hard way" when I was a brand-new and naive submissive years ago, that there are WAY too many would-be Doms out there whose "tests" and "running through the paces" for new subs meant getting freebie easy BJs only to decide against ever seeing the subs again. You can't really blame the ladies for wanting to make sure you're not just another one of those guys who use and throw away, can you? NBMG

SeekingTrinity -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 6:35:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1 Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here. Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face. I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be? Again not being rude, just asking. blkdeviant1 Because some women arent looking to be used as your personal penis washing station. For many women, its not always about getting it in as quick as possible. Though dont get me wrong, women like that are pretty easy to find. If you arent able to find one, then Id dare say you're doing it wrong. There is such a thing as quality versus quantity. Just find someone who falls into the same category as you and you should be okay. Dont want to take a woman on her terms as far as whether or not she hops into bed with you right away, move along until you find someone who will.

theRose4U -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 7:11:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night. It's this sort of practical, useful information that keeps me coming back here. I honestly would not have known how to find a woman for a free, casual fuck. Yay! Uh jeff, its not just women!! Sadly men (very drunken men) will go to the back door of the club to wait for bartenders & waitresses after the club slut parade has ended. They think because we flirted for tips we want to sleep with them. That because we serve alcohol we have more for them in our bag. My personal fave, that because we are sober we will give them a ride to our home to sleep with them because they spent cab fare on booze.

DesFIP -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 8:17:37 PM)
We understand that men have needs. They also have right hands to satisfy those needs. We have needs too and we do our best to satisfy them. Which may well be using a vibe until we have sufficient of a relationship for us to want to have sex with you. There is no reason on earth for me to have sex with a guy when I know I won't enjoy it. And I already know that if I am not in a love based relationship with a worthwhile man, I won't enjoy it.

JeffBC -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 8:40:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U Uh jeff, its not just women!! I'm feeling less naive by the post in this thread. Now I know how to quickly and easily get cheap tawdry sex with men or women! and for the record I really am that naive. I've never wanted casual sex so I have zero clue how it's done. Bars and nightclubs is an obvious guess though laughs

tj444 -> RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only (12/19/2012 8:50:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I like sex. I don't like idiots. ^^ This ^^ [:D]

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