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RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 9:10:31 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1
But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?


I won't have sex with someone until I'm comfortable. If you don't think I'm worth the wait, then clearly, you're not the person for me. If you pressure me, I'll walk away.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
She replied, "I wrote that so I wouldn't look like a whore on the internet. You won't have to wait that long." We met the next day, and had sex.


I said it and meant it. Hell, I had been friends with Master for three years before we dated....and I STILL waited to have sex.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 9:21:32 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
She replied, "I wrote that so I wouldn't look like a whore on the internet. You won't have to wait that long." We met the next day, and had sex.


I said it and meant it. Hell, I had been friends with Master for three years before we dated....and I STILL waited to have sex.

Different women are different. (Shocking idea, I know.) She had been in a loveless marriage, and had only banged her vibe for four years. I was her first man since her 4-yo son had been conceived. It was great -- like dating a virgin with skillzzzz.

Not trying to say that women who wait are inferior or worse. Except for you, OsideGirl. You've been very, very bad........

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 9:28:28 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Except for you, OsideGirl. You've been very, very bad........



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 9:35:54 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1
I never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected,
what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months.

Call me crazy, but what you see as spending up to 2 months with someone and discussing expectations could
be considered the same as a woman waiting to see if an emotional attachment develops before she has sex.
We all have needs, and one of mine is that I have to submit to a man emotionally before I can submit to his cock.

Call me even crazier, but if you're spending two months with someone and focussing only on what your
expectations are, I see an awful lot of lather rinse and repeat in your future. Relationships, even if they are purely
physical, have expectations that have to be met from both participants.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 9:53:29 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		OP, my advice to you is keep this saying in mind. Take me as I am or watch me walk away.

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 10:08:12 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable. For some that amount is zero. For others it is "wedding vows". For most it's somewhere in between. How can you not know this?

But in your profile you talk about all the fakes and people who don't have a clue what this lifestyle is all about. I suspect I'm one of those people because the relationship I've formed is a fairly normal, love-based relationship that just happens to have an authority dynamic in it. In your head is a true lifestyle relationship based upon the authority dynamic and kink? Because if so that's your problem right there. You're right... most of the female subs are fakes because most of them want the full enchilada.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 10:28:14 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable.


Actually, for me it wasn't emotional bonding. It was that tingly genitals often confuse the matter of whether you actually like that person or not. Then somewhere around the three month mark, you come out of it and realize that you're with someone that is a schmuck.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 10:52:58 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

This isn't just a female thing nor is it very complicated. Some humans need more emotional bonding than others before sex looks palatable.


Actually, for me it wasn't emotional bonding. It was that tingly genitals often confuse the matter of whether you actually like that person or not. Then somewhere around the three month mark, you come out of it and realize that you're with someone that is a schmuck.



I suspect that's what some people are counting on.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 3:34:36 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		The tingly genitals have gotten me a few times...which is why I now have all the disclaimers in my profile. an ounce of prevention, you know

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 3:51:51 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Because most of us are not meet and fuk kind of women.


Nothing wrong with those who are, but nothing wrong with those who are not either.

Personally I'm not a I need 2 months before I will fuck you kin of girl however if the guys being an impatient ass I would write them off period>

quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1

Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here.

Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face.

I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

Again not being rude, just asking.

blkdeviant1


quote:

chment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?


_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 4:46:55 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night.

Good luck!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 4:49:38 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night.

It's this sort of practical, useful information that keeps me coming back here. I honestly would not have known how to find a woman for a free, casual fuck. Yay!


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 4:59:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Why thanks! It looks like my past days of drunken nightclub hopping were good for something!


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 5:01:26 PM   
cordeliasub


Posts: 528
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		I can say that for me personally, I have tried the whole no strings/friend with benefits kind of thing....and I am just not wired for it. if I want to have sex with someone, then I become attached. If I don't want to become attached, then I am probably not interested in sex with them. That is just me. And I am one who can be distracted by "tingly genitals" (I love that) as well. So if I know it is off the table until I feel safe emotionally, then I can really open up and get to know them.

Plus, and I know we live and learn, but all it takes is a couple of times where you fuck someone, start to feel something, and they disappear, to teach you that it is better all the way around to wait. I'm just too much of a softie to take it completely lightly.

No one ever dies from waiting, contrary to those high school urban legends.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 6:28:13 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I'm not a submissive, although I used to be, but a person can't dictate who answers on a thread. lol

The ladies could just as well be asking you "Why do you want to just fuck and suck right off the bat?" I don't think not wanting to wait makes you an "ass," but it does make you impatient and dick-centric. Her need for commitment and/or trust is just as important to her as your sexual urges are to you. Your sexual urges are not her problem. Her feeling safe before getting involved with you is.

There's nothing wrong with wanting some NSA sex if that's your thing. But there's also nothing wrong with her wanting to know a guy gives a shit about her before fucking him or sucking his dick. If all you want is an NSA fuck & suck now and then, there are "professionals" out there for that sort of thing.

As for the D/s and BDSMy stuff, a submissive needs to be able to trust you and know that you have her best interests at heart before she can feel safe submitting to you. How can you not understand that? Surely you can't expect a submissive to be vulnerable with you without knowing if she can trust you?

I found out the "hard way" when I was a brand-new and naive submissive years ago, that there are WAY too many would-be Doms out there whose "tests" and "running through the paces" for new subs meant getting freebie easy BJs only to decide against ever seeing the subs again. You can't really blame the ladies for wanting to make sure you're not just another one of those guys who use and throw away, can you?

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 6:35:53 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1

Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here.

Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face.

I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

Again not being rude, just asking.

blkdeviant1



Because some women arent looking to be used as your personal penis washing station. For many women, its not always about getting it in as quick as possible. Though dont get me wrong, women like that are pretty easy to find. If you arent able to find one, then Id dare say you're doing it wrong. There is such a thing as quality versus quantity. Just find someone who falls into the same category as you and you should be okay.

Dont want to take a woman on her terms as far as whether or not she hops into bed with you right away, move along until you find someone who will.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 12/19/2012 6:42:28 PM >

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 7:11:54 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
If you're having trouble finding a woman for free, casual sex, you're obviously doing something wrong. I mean, it's everywhere. Just wait at the door at 2am at a nightclub as it's emptying. I guarantee one of those women will fuck you for the night.

It's this sort of practical, useful information that keeps me coming back here. I honestly would not have known how to find a woman for a free, casual fuck. Yay!


Uh jeff, its not just women!! Sadly men (very drunken men) will go to the back door of the club to wait for bartenders & waitresses after the club slut parade has ended. They think because we flirted for tips we want to sleep with them. That because we serve alcohol we have more for them in our bag. My personal fave, that because we are sober we will give them a ride to our home to sleep with them because they spent cab fare on booze.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 8:17:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We understand that men have needs. They also have right hands to satisfy those needs.

We have needs too and we do our best to satisfy them. Which may well be using a vibe until we have sufficient of a relationship for us to want to have sex with you. There is no reason on earth for me to have sex with a guy when I know I won't enjoy it. And I already know that if I am not in a love based relationship with a worthwhile man, I won't enjoy it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 8:40:58 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Uh jeff, its not just women!!

I'm feeling less naive by the post in this thread. Now I know how to quickly and easily get cheap tawdry sex with men or women!

and for the record I really am that naive. I've never wanted casual sex so I have zero clue how it's done. Bars and nightclubs is an obvious guess though *laughs*

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 8:50:44 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I like sex. I don't like idiots.


^^ This ^^

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 40
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