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RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 8:56:03 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


Actually, for me it wasn't emotional bonding. It was that tingly genitals often confuse the matter of whether you actually like that person or not. Then somewhere around the three month mark, you come out of it and realize that you're with someone that is a schmuck.


Yep! I remember telling the Mister, around 3-6 months they turn into a pumpkin.

As for having sex right away, it's been said here but I'll repeat it. As a woman (and a decent looking one at that, I would add), dicks are a dime a dozen. My first experience in a night club in about 20 years was at my cousin's husbands birthday party a couple months ago. The Mister couldn't go, so I went on my own. The guys in our group were practically batting men away from me by the end of the night. It was ridiculous. Seriously, we can have our pick. So why would we want YOU? What makes you stand out from the rest of 'em?

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 10:10:24 PM   
tidbit5021


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline 		OP, I'm curious about a couple of statements you've made--one from your profile. You say this site has tons of fakes and people with high expectations...well, shouldn't we? It seems to me that you have high expectations as well. You expect women to have D/s sex right away-or any sex for that matter.

I expect men I'm having conversations with to have information about themselves in their profiles. I may or may not have sex with someone quickly but I'm certainly not going to put it in my profile or discuss it in email. I don't know that I will be attracted to someone until I've met him face-to-face.

If you have 20 years of experience, as you state in your profile, it seems to me that you know other places to meet people than on CM. Or is it really that you thought that CM give you quick hook-ups without having to put in any effort?

You question/comment is as naive as a women posting one that asks why all men are jerks.

Craig's list has a hook-up section--you can have lunch-time sex in an alley with someone who wants not emotional connection but may have an std.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/19/2012 10:12:07 PM   
tidbit5021


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline 		Please excuse my typos--I'm not sure how to go back an edit my post.

(in reply to tidbit5021)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 5:53:07 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		For up to an hour, you can go back to your post and click the edit button.

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(in reply to tidbit5021)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 6:49:38 AM   
Ford91pu


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/2/2010
Status: offline 		I recently had a sub ask me if I was into K 9. Now I have been around a while and when I asked the obvious question about it having something to do with animals, she told me to get educated. So, Im asking the CM crowd, have you heard this term before and if so, enlighten me.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 8:11:04 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ford91pu

I recently had a sub ask me if I was into K 9. Now I have been around a while and when I asked the obvious question about it having something to do with animals, she told me to get educated. So, Im asking the CM crowd, have you heard this term before and if so, enlighten me.

Bestiality with dogs. K9=canine.

If a sub asked you about this, there's a good chance that sub wasn't female, even if the profile was.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Ford91pu)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 12:50:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ford91pu

I recently had a sub ask me if I was into K 9. Now I have been around a while and when I asked the obvious question about it having something to do with animals, she told me to get educated. So, Im asking the CM crowd, have you heard this term before and if so, enlighten me.

Bestiality with dogs. K9=canine.

If a sub asked you about this, there's a good chance that sub wasn't female, even if the profile was.


And if it was US based, you should report the message because K9 is an illegal activity.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 1:19:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ford91pu

I recently had a sub ask me if I was into K 9. Now I have been around a while and when I asked the obvious question about it having something to do with animals, she told me to get educated. So, Im asking the CM crowd, have you heard this term before and if so, enlighten me.

Its illegal, against TOS & no you probably arent

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Ford91pu)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 3:30:08 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1

Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here.

Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face.

I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

Again not being rude, just asking.

blkdeviant1


Lets see-when we're talking bound relations, you're only asking her for everything, is it to much for her to ask for a little patience from you?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 3:33:28 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1

Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here.

Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face.

I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

Again not being rude, just asking.

blkdeviant1



You're a Dom...and cannot discover a way to get what you want? If you don't have skills to get what you want then GET THEM. There are books on relationships, seduction, reading body language, Cosmo, Shades of Gray, etc.

Other guys are sniffing around these same submissive women at CM and are managing to "get some". Instead of seeing this in a high school way...that women have cookies and they need to hand them out freely to all who want them...try to recognise that most women want to be loved by someone they can trust who is compatible for a long term relationship.

I knew bo for 4 months online, and it wasn't until three months after we were together that I added vanilla sex into our relationship. It wasn't enough knowing he loved me, I had to know that our relationship was going somewhere. If I didn't operate this way...I could have been taking a new dick for a test drive every week while searching for the "magic dick". Checking dick first and heart second is not a good idea. I'm 48 years old. Considering that I started dating at 17... (48 - 17) x 52 = 1,612. 52 weeks in a year during all of those years would mean that I could have had sex with 1,612 guys. Even trying out a new guy every two months would have been 186 penises. (Look, I'm not even dead yet so the tally on tallywhackers could keep piling up.)

Can you begin to see why women have to have some judgment about who they choose to have sex with? There is an endless supply of men offering one night stands and flings; even if a woman is just interested in having a good time she still has some requirements that must be met...she might choose to f*ck guys who are celebrities, guys with certain cars, ones with fancy homes and swimming pools, exotic vacation spots, some amazing talent that blows them away (some women f*ck musicians, rodeo cowboys, etc.), or guys who have a drop dead gorgeous body and are facially blessed. If they are not choosing you then find some way to impress them (maybe go to the gymn or take up a sport, etc.). Or else get some seduction skills and relationship skills...for the women who want more than a short lived sexual adventure.

In other words, when fishing...use the right bait. I don't think the fish care if the fisherman is frustrated, standing on the embankment cussing at them to take the damned bait cuz he wants some fish and that they're not being fair.

Btw, what turned me off of dating for years were all the legions of guys who expect sex on the first date. I couldn't enjoy their company nor get to know them, because most treated dating like a business transaction. It's a bitch having to explain to a guy...that when he bought a hamburger for me in a restaurant...he hadn't purchased ME for the night.

1) Be nice.
2) Read a book on good manners; be more immpressive than your competition.
3) Be interested in the PERSON.
4) Don't act like a john.
5) Seduce the heart/mind and the pussy will follow.
6) Fisherman...if your skills and your pole and your bait are not catching fish, stop blaming the fish.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 4:49:06 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		From your profile
"Basically i am just here for the Forums as i have found this site to be full of fakes or people with high expectations and no , understanding of what this lifestyle is about."

Since when is having high expectations a BAD thing??? OHHHH! It is a BAD things for the men who wait around for the girls with low self-esteem to give up & go home with THEM! There are plenty of woman interested in just sex, no commitment...they still have high expectations like being satisfied and getting as well as giving....


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 8:10:57 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Brief thread hijack:
Kana, I've seen you refer to your relationship with littlewonder as a "bound relationship". Is that just another term for a M/s relationship, or does it mean something else?

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/20/2012 9:40:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm not answering for Master but I think what he means is not just M/s but bound in heart, spirit,soul....everything. It's a strong relationship where we symbolically bound by what we mean to each other, through the thick and thin, and fighting whatever comes our way that might cause destruction to our relationship. We are two people tied together in one synergy.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 7:26:45 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm not answering for Master but I think what he means is not just M/s but bound in heart, spirit,soul....everything. It's a strong relationship where we symbolically bound by what we mean to each other, through the thick and thin, and fighting whatever comes our way that might cause destruction to our relationship. We are two people tied together in one synergy.


That's odd. When I asked him what he meant by "bound relationship", he told me that it means that he keeps you tied up in ropes and locked in the closet.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 12/21/2012 7:27:17 AM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 8:30:12 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blkdeviant1

Okay laddies i have a question and i dont want to come off rude or crass, but it is a question and this is why i joined this Forum under a new name because i am not looking for a sub/slave here.

Here is my question: Why is it that women in this lifestyle expect a deep emotional commitment, not right off the bat, and not within 6 months. But i read it all the time one profiles and it has me wondering. Usually the profile starts out good enough and inviting, but then SLAM right in your face.

I wont fuck you, i wont suck your dick, i wont submit to you right off the bat. Which i can understand there has to be trust in this lifestyle. But, me personally i never get into the BDSM aspect of any relationship i am in until we have talked at length what is expected, what is not expected and hard limits which usually takes about 2 months. But also being a man i have sexual urges, and i am not going to wait 2 months until i have sex with some one i am interested in, maybe this makes me an ass i dont know. So the question is why is it that some women will say" i wont sleep with a man until i have a deep emotional attachment to him"? Do you guys not understand men, or are you trying to mold your man into what you feel a man should be?

Again not being rude, just asking.

blkdeviant1



I'm not sure why you needed to leave the old profile behind and try the same question now under a new one, seems to me that the answers are all the same- even with different responders.

Women in this lifestyle don't necessarily always want a deep emotional commitment. If they do, and you don't, move on. You can't expect that unless they care about you in some manner, that they'll give a flying fuck about your "urges". If you don't want to wait 2 months then don't, no one is forcing you to. No one is molding anyone, they are divining what is meaningful to themselves, and then sticking to what they want until they find it.

Your question about why women don't seem to understand men and why are they trying to mold them into what they feel a man should be could just as easily be flipped around to yourself- why don't you seem to understand women, and are you trying to mold them into instant dick receptacles because that is what suits you? To be honest, you are in the tougher position here, women hold more of the cards on sites like this because they are in greater demand. So they can hold out for what they want. You might want to think about that. In order to get a woman, you are going to have to be more of what they want so that they don't pass you by and take someone else in line. If you are in greater supply then you'll have to examine your market more closely to be more of what they want....or pay someone for your 'urges'.

(in reply to blkdeviant1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 8:56:38 AM   
Alltiedup57


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		May I ask a quesition here.. I was being mentored n trained, must have made a mistake n he refuses to tell me what it is n let me go.
So here's the quesition...is it true that a Slave has no voice n does as he/she's told, n a Sub has a voice n can choose if she wants to obey r not???
I'm really trying to learn....thank you

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 9:49:33 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alltiedup57

May I ask a quesition here.. I was being mentored n trained, must have made a mistake n he refuses to tell me what it is n let me go.
So here's the quesition...is it true that a Slave has no voice n does as he/she's told, n a Sub has a voice n can choose if she wants to obey r not???
I'm really trying to learn....thank you


If someone is mentoring you, they should not be engaging in BDSM or sex with you. The purpose of a mentor is to guide you, not fuck you.

Training is a bullshit euphemism for tie you up, beat and fuck you.

Since he was a mentor, you shouldn't have had a D/s dynamic...so regardless of what his definition of slave is....you wouldn't have been his slave.

Lastly, everybody has different definitions of , slave, submissive, etc. But, regardless of those definitions...the trust it takes to obey without question takes time to establish. If you're with someone that won't allow you to ask questions at the beginning of a relationship, I would suggest you look elsewhere. To me that's a big red flag. Dominants are not omnipotent and trust and respect are things that are earned by his actions.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Alltiedup57)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 9:59:22 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alltiedup57
May I ask a quesition here..

You may certainly ask questions on these forums. That's what they're here for. It's generally considered polite though to start your own thread on a new topic rather than hijack someone elses. In this case, however, the original post being hijacked... well... *laughs* I doubt we're all crying over the tragic loss of such a compelling question.

I was being mentored n trained, must have made a mistake n he refuses to tell me what it is n let me go.
He's an idiot or he just doesn't want you and is too spineless to say why.

So here's the quesition...is it true that a Slave has no voice n does as he/she's told, n a Sub has a voice n can choose if she wants to obey r not???

For starters, the generally accepted answer to the difference between a sub & slave is that we all disagree. But in general terms that is sort of how a lot of folks more or less see it... but not anywhere near all. In the land of reality as opposed to BDSM myth it's very hard to lose one's "free will" and so pretty much everyone can and does "choose". If I told Carol to go next door and grab the neighbor's puppy and boil it up for soup I'm pretty sure I'd find out that she certainly can "choose to obey or not".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Alltiedup57)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 2:11:59 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		When I say bound relationship, I basically mean a relationship based on BDSM terms. Call it M/S, call it a TPS,call it MAST, whatever, I'm basically referring to a relationship rooted in a power exchange

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: question for the Subs/Slaves women only - 12/21/2012 3:18:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm not answering for Master but I think what he means is not just M/s but bound in heart, spirit,soul....everything. It's a strong relationship where we symbolically bound by what we mean to each other, through the thick and thin, and fighting whatever comes our way that might cause destruction to our relationship. We are two people tied together in one synergy.


That's odd. When I asked him what he meant by "bound relationship", he told me that it means that he keeps you tied up in ropes and locked in the closet.

Thankfully the closet has a light.

Sshhh....don't tell him or I'll be left in the dark and that's scaaaarey!


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 60
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