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'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 6:49:02 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Those who are looking to meet people from this site - whether it be for a relationship, friends, play partners or whatever - how much are you influenced by the subjects they list themselves as 'expert' in on their profiles?

Are you more likely to contact someone who claims expertise in something you are into? Do you feel differently about kinky subjects vs general interest subjects? Or does it make no difference at all? What about people who mark themselves as 'beginner'?

I know you're all grown ups who know better than to believe everything you read online, I'm just wondering if this is something which sparks you interest.

And on the same lines - what level of skill or knowledge gives someone the right to call themselves an 'expert' in your opinion?

Does it put you off if a person claims to be an expert in a large number of subjects?

My opinion - I am hugely skeptical of anyone with a huge list of 'expert' subjects, and my general rule of thumb is I won't believe anyone claiming to be an expert in more areas than they have decades in their age. I could believe a 23 year old might be an expert at two things. If you claim to be an expert at 12, we have a different definition of expert.
I'm also confused when people claim to be experts in things that require no skill - like receiving a massage. Can anyone defend this?

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 6:59:51 AM

DarkSteven

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I think of Expert designations as an opportunity to see how a person views themself.

Fifteen designations or more - probably either a liar or else sets the bar very low. Has a few while not spelling or writing well - doesn't know what achievement is.

Basically, when I look at a profile, I try to see how well grounded that person is. If I see what I consider misuse of the Experts, that's an indication they're unrealistic or prone to exaggeration.

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 7:49:16 AM

DonRosti

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 8:00:46 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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I rate myself as "expert" in 2 things.
Wrestling. I was a 4x national qualifier between freestyle and greco and coached the sport for several years. I think that is good enough.

Fishing. I build my own rods and tie my own flies. When I float the river, I find when I get to the takeout that I frequently outperform the people who have hired guides. Likewise, I figure I'm pretty good.

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 8:45:31 AM

bustealustea

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/13/2012
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I dont consider my self "expert" in anything until I

1. have done it 10 times professionally
2. have done it for fun more than 25 times
or
3. have spent lots of time practicing it as well as acting it out and know it inside and out

but I know everyone has different standards, so I dont really pay attention to other user's ranks, and I dont expect them to focus on mine.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 5

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 9:11:50 AM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Those who are looking to meet people from this site - whether it be for a relationship, friends, play partners or whatever - how much are you influenced by the subjects they list themselves as 'expert' in on their profiles?

depends on what they claim to be an expert in.. if they say they are an expert Dom or the equivalent claim of having 15 or whatever years experience in bdsm.. it usually makes me laugh.. and since i am not into S&M, it tends to mean we are incompatible..

If they say they are an expert in something that is one of my interests (construction, welding, sculpture, etc), then it can peak my interest and I might ask them a few questions.. but since guys are mostly interested in sex (like right now lol), if i get an answer its not much of one and then being steered into what the guy wants to talk about (which is usually.. something leading to sex).. Trying to carry on a friendly conversation to get to know each other is basically a waste of time.. most are 3 email guys (the online equivalent of 3 date guys).. (sigh) One guy did send me pics of a house he built tho.. so if they truly are experts or have done something, they will have pics they can send to back that up..

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 9:23:41 AM

Moonhead

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Is welding on the list of likes and dislikes?
One problem with the whole "expert" thing is that in a few cases, it could out your identity. Now that's fair enough for a dating site, but equally, it might not be unreasonable for people to want to hide their light under a bushel until they feel secure enough to expose themself* to somebody.

*(reveal who they are, not send a cock picture)

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(in reply to tj444)

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 9:47:10 AM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Is welding on the list of likes and dislikes?
One problem with the whole "expert" thing is that in a few cases, it could out your identity. Now that's fair enough for a dating site, but equally, it might not be unreasonable for people to want to hide their light under a bushel until they feel secure enough to expose themself* to somebody.

*(reveal who they are, not send a cock picture)

no its not on my list.. I know how to weld but only as a hobby & an interest.. my questions are more basic and usually in response to something they say in thier profile..

In a big city with millions of people it is a lot harder to figure out someones identity.. in a small town maybe.. which makes me wonder about people on facebook whose lives are an open book.. some even tell all their "friends" where they will be today.. I really dislike FB.. and some people think if you dont have a FB page then you arent "real".. (ugh)

_____________________________

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(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 8

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:05:08 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I am more than likely to laugh at the 'expert' status, than be attracted to it.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 9

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:10:55 AM

Moonhead

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Joined: 9/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Is welding on the list of likes and dislikes?
One problem with the whole "expert" thing is that in a few cases, it could out your identity. Now that's fair enough for a dating site, but equally, it might not be unreasonable for people to want to hide their light under a bushel until they feel secure enough to expose themself* to somebody.

*(reveal who they are, not send a cock picture)

no its not on my list.. I know how to weld but only as a hobby & an interest.. my questions are more basic and usually in response to something they say in thier profile..

In a big city with millions of people it is a lot harder to figure out someones identity.. in a small town maybe.. which makes me wonder about people on facebook whose lives are an open book.. some even tell all their "friends" where they will be today.. I really dislike FB.. and some people think if you dont have a FB page then you arent "real".. (ugh)

This is true, but googling somebody's name can turn up all sorts of stuff that they might not want revealed, or at least connected to a fetish dating site. It's even conceivable that there might be posters here who are on IMDB, but not on Facebook: given the sheer volume of people on here, the odds favour it, and there definitely will be a few people whose careers might get hurt if it gets out that they're looking for somebody to spank them on a website full of pervs, won't there?

< Message edited by Moonhead -- 12/21/2012 10:11:30 AM >

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 10

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:18:54 AM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

Let's first evaluate the word.....

ex- Has been.
-(s)pert Drip under pressure.

I think I qualify.

(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 11

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:27:37 AM

tj444

Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

This is true, but googling somebody's name can turn up all sorts of stuff that they might not want revealed, or at least connected to a fetish dating site. It's even conceivable that there might be posters here who are on IMDB, but not on Facebook: given the sheer volume of people on here, the odds favour it, and there definitely will be a few people whose careers might get hurt if it gets out that they're looking for somebody to spank them on a website full of pervs, won't there?

only if you know their real name.. or the post a clear pic..

and personally.. I am here just for the forums.. no, really, I am..

its colorfull & amusing much of the time...

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 12

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:34:40 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

In general I disregard expert status on anything. I do take exception to massage though. I am proficient in deep tissue, Shiatsu and reflexology. Trust me on this, learning and implementing takes work, both in skill and knowlege.

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― Bob Marley

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 13

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:40:23 AM

xLaChienne

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Joined: 11/12/2011
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It's not something I notice unless they have a large amount of (expert) besides various interests.

Which I find laughable. So yes, it is off putting in a self-aggrandisement kind of way.

If I receive a massage every day for several years, could I not be an expert at receiving a massage? As in I know exactly how I want it, exactly what works best for Me, and exactly how I want to be touched? Haha, I do agree that it's rather silly to tout being an expert in something that requires you to do nothing more than lie there. Hrm, could be why so many say they are experts at sex!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 14

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:52:36 AM

Moonhead

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Joined: 9/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

This is true, but googling somebody's name can turn up all sorts of stuff that they might not want revealed, or at least connected to a fetish dating site. It's even conceivable that there might be posters here who are on IMDB, but not on Facebook: given the sheer volume of people on here, the odds favour it, and there definitely will be a few people whose careers might get hurt if it gets out that they're looking for somebody to spank them on a website full of pervs, won't there?

only if you know their real name.. or the post a clear pic..

and personally.. I am here just for the forums.. no, really, I am.. its colorfull & amusing much of the time...

Well so am I (after I met somebody who does know my name here, at least), but I have withdrawn from pissing matches where somebody's been questioning my right to talk about America a couple of times because doing so would involve giving my name, and I don't want some of the people in P&R googling me.

_____________________________

I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 15

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:56:06 AM

needlesandpins

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Status: offline

i have some, but not really kink related. one is horse riding; as a breeder, professional producer, trainer, and difficult horse handler/trainer, judge, and having worked in many areas of horsemanship i think i can claim that.

the next is walking, the claim is tongue in cheek as i rarely fall over while doing it.

horse racing....i worked in the industry and have retrained alot of ex racers, so linked to the above.

massage, i've had lots of experience with people, and horses, and done training for both.

art....and drawing. i was a professional artist for alot of years...well still am really......and very successful at it too.

whips.....again tongue in cheek as i am excellent with a stick and rope for natural horsemanship, but i have good feel for using them on people too.

if someone else had those things listed, and i were looking, then i think i'd be more inclined to talk to them than if we had nothing in common at all.

as for the kink/sex side of things, i'd perfer experienced rather than expert because not everything works on all people the same.

needles

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 10:58:17 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I think of Expert designations as an opportunity to see how a person views themself.

Fifteen designations or more - probably either a liar or else sets the bar very low. Has a few while not spelling or writing well - doesn't know what achievement is.

Basically, when I look at a profile, I try to see how well grounded that person is. If I see what I consider misuse of the Experts, that's an indication they're unrealistic or prone to exaggeration.

I have more than 15. They are all either professional endeavors or extensive personal experience.

A lot of the categories are silly -- hell, one of them is "walking." But it does convey that yes, I love to walk. I do it a lot, and for long periods.

Other categories overlap--a professional in music and writing is going to hit several categories.

But then I'm not really looking to date Steven. He's nice and all, but not really my gender type.

The lists and designations, anyway, are to give people a flavor of who you are and what you like. Reading more into it than that is silly in my view. That's what conversation and getting acquainted are for.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 11:40:01 AM

Nakhla

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Joined: 10/24/2012
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There is really only one thing I'd say I'm close to expert in ( spent roughly eight years of my life studying classical music, particularly theory, history, and organology ), but I'd hesitate designating expert status when I think of some amazing, encyclopedic people I've encountered. ( If they had something as specialized as "classical music in the early 20th century", then maybe ). All in all I think of "expert" as meaning able answer almost all answerable questions in a given field, and I wouldn't feel confident donning that. ( Though given that, in a random crowd of a hundred-odd people, I'm still likely to know a good deal more than most. )

Mind you, different fields do require different levels of expertise. While no doubt a worthwhile skill, flogging still requires less study time than a PhD in physics.

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 11:41:51 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm not sure if it's a defense for it. Rather an explanation for the thought process.

I actually have nine categories where I've listed Myself as an expert. Four of those (Lifestyle BDSM, Munches, Public Play, and Local Community) I tagged because I've been an elected board member of two groups, organized and promoted events, and as a leather person, I am only compatible with those who are willing to participate in the kink community.

The other five are play related. All of them are My preferred subjects when asked to present. The topics are those that I have done multiple times and at least once in what I consider major venues. They aren't the only subjects that I present or consider Myself capable to be at teaching level. They are the ones I feel most versed in.

Other people's expert designations? It's rare that I look at the boxes checked on the profile. Instead, I pay attention to detailed explanations on the forums. There are very few BDSM related topics that I don't know who I would recommend to a person to if they had questions.

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RE: 'Expert' Designations - 12/21/2012 11:48:02 AM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Well so am I (after I met somebody who does know my name here, at least), but I have withdrawn from pissing matches where somebody's been questioning my right to talk about America a couple of times because doing so would involve giving my name, and I don't want some of the people in P&R googling me.

ohhhh... You're an expert, huh? and, omg.. googleable!!!

I, alas, am not googleable..

well,.. trying to win an online argument with a bunch of strangers (as nice/interesting as many are) isnt near enough reason to give your real name, imo.. so I agree with you there..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 20

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