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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Why BDSM isn't Abuse (12/24/2012 1:33:54 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JeffBC
What this sounds like to me is that you were somewhere and someone said something rude to you. It doesn't sound like a consent violation it sounds like rudeness. Out in the real world when someone is rude to me I generally decide if it's just "one bad apple" or is the social scene I'm currently swimming in inappropriate for me. If it's the one bad apple I ignore them. That's where that block function comes in handy. I do that on these boards too. The hide button allows me to tune the boards to my own tastes. On the other hand it might be the whole circle I find myself in. The prudent thing to do at that point is to simply leave.
This is what I would do too, and until recently I assumed everyone did the same thing. But it's become increasingly apparent to me that a surprising number of people don't have that type of social skill. It goes along with people who are brand new to the site jumping in with something inappropriate, like a request for graphic sexual fantasies on the general message board. It seems they lack the skill or sense to watch and figure out the culture of the place so they know whether or not their behaviour is appropriate. And then, when they receive a negative reaction, they get cross and stomp about, as if their displeasure will cause the existing group to entirely change their expectations. Like you, whenever I have encountered groups online or in person that don't suit me or that include interactions that made me uncomfortable, I removed myself from the situation.
If you find yourself in a situation with little alternatives (mistreated at work, social injustice etc), by all means stick up for yourself and stand for change and your morals. In a situation like choosing an online message board, it's a pointless battle. There are other sites. There is the opportunity to create your own site. The people here are clearly happy with how things are, I can't expect them to change for me.
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