RE: The decline of collarme

RE: The decline of collarme (Full Version)

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NuevaVida -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 2:54:58 PM)
Yes, I didn't mean for my "see a few people much differently" to be a negative remark (I realized later it may have come across that way). I gained respect for some and lost respect for others, but in the end, people are who they are, depending on their lives at the time, so it's all good. I do think the fiasco changed the place, though.

angelikaJ -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 2:57:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf ~FR~ Don't post much anymore, but I read (or at least skim topics). I think the two biggest reasons CM will never be like it was 6 years ago (what many call the good ole days) is for two reasons: 1) From 2005 to about 2007 or 08, there was a huge amount of discussions going on. Things were discussed from as many angles as possible. Many things were discussed over and over. Then came the "you should search for that it has been discussed before" and posters became experts at just posting links of old discussions. So when new folks came along, the asked a question that had been asked before and instead of discussion, they get links. 2) A different venue for discussions opened in FetLife. FL has it's place, but as a discussion venue it is too difficult to follow discussions with many replies. It has it's niche and CM has it's niche. Nothing will change these two things. Discussion venues, whether they are boards, chatrooms, or mail lists, will always evolve in some way. People can either be the change they want, or they can add more CO2 to the atmosphere. To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first. People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement. Most people do know how to use a search engine. A search engine won't give you human interaction. You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine. If someone asks something specific and I think an outside link will help, then I will post the link, but I think many people post on forums because they want to be heard.

stellauk -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 3:58:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first. People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement. Most people do know how to use a search engine. A search engine won't give you human interaction. You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine. This is so true and it comes with a second issue - very few people ever bother to dig deeper and ask questions. So many threads are started where the OP posts a link to an article or explains a specific situation and what tends to happen is that most (or all) will respond with a ready made fixed opinion. Threads often develop in one of two ways. The first is where people chime in with different opinions and usually by the end of the first page or into the second you end up with two or three different camps of posters expressing just three or so different opinions. The second is where you get someone posting a fixed, ready made opinion, and then post after post of different posters all expressing the same opinion and making the same point but in different words. Then someone will post with a different opinion making different points, and then it continues on, where post after post comes in all reiterating the same points and the thread continues developing in a sort of lockstep. I've even done it myself, coming into a thread giving a different opinion and .. as predicted, the next poster adds to the thread giving the same or a very similar opinion to mine and making the same points. It's amusing to watch this. Generally speaking threads in P & R develop in the first of these two ways, people chime in with their opinion and rather than digging deeper and trying to find out why someone has formed an opinion what tends to happen is that people will dig in their heels and start to defend their opinion, conflicts ensue over who is right and who isn't, and this is where various posters start attacking each other. But this is not exclusive to P & R but happens right across the boards. Also I don't understand why an opinion in P & R always needs to be backed up by sources or linked to some article. If I wanted to parrot the same opinion as someone's article, editorial or blog, then why would I need to post in the first place? This isn't high school or college, but a message board on a kinky website. If I wanted to know what a large section of the media thinks on a given topic I'd set up a news feed on my computer. But getting back, this isn't something which is specific or peculiar to the boards here it happens on other sites too such as Facebook. It seems that people are far more willing to give superficial opinions based on their assumptions rather than trying to dig deeper, ask questions, and gain a better understanding about a particular topic or situation. It almost seems as if people are afraid of expressing a minority opinion, or standing out from the crowd, or admitting openly that they were wrong or are even inclined to change their opinion during the course of a thread. To me having an open mind and asking questions are two great ways of creating good discussions. Just my 0.02

heartcream -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 4:03:54 PM)
Yeah that same thing has been going on since I hit the streets here. That woman usta call up a long line of chats we were meant to go check out when people had already discussed whatever subject. It came off pompous and annoying as heck. I didnt want to read what a buncha folks I dont know said back when. Then if you brought up when of these dusty old threads ya got shite on for bringing up an old thread. Ya caint win with some people.

heartcream -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 4:05:31 PM)
Yeah Stellauk, I agree with much of this. Why do I need to cite what some other muh fuh said to give validity to what I see/feel/think.

dcnovice -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 5:13:30 PM)
quote: Also I don't understand why an opinion in P & R always needs to be backed up by sources or linked to some article. If I wanted to parrot the same opinion as someone's article, editorial or blog, then why would I need to post in the first place? This isn't high school or college, but a message board on a kinky website. If I wanted to know what a large section of the media thinks on a given topic I'd set up a news feed on my computer. In my village on the banks of the Potomac, there's a popular saying often attributed to Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts." Or her own, of course. That often comes to mind as I skim P&R threads, for three reasons: (a) Facts impinge on P&R topics in a way that they may not elsewhere. If someone says, "I think the masterly thing to do in this situation is X," so be it. Ditto for "My favorite kind of pie is pecan." If someone says, on the other hand, "Unions destroyed the auto industry," I think one's entitled to say, "What's your basis for that assertion? What roles did management and the rise of imports play?" (b) Posters do sometimes confuse their own opinions with facts, as with "It's healthier for a child to grow up with opposite-sex parents than same-sex ones." Asking for a source is the P&R way of saying, "Is this actually true, or are you pulling it out of your hindquarters?" (c) People also draw "facts" from sources with highly varying degrees of credibility. Thus we had a fair bit of pre-election discussion, rooted in a poorly sources YouTube video, on "Obama phones," only to learn after folks did some digging that the program in question long predated the current administration.

kdsub -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 5:33:39 PM)
quote: It almost seems as if people are afraid of expressing a minority opinion, or standing out from the crowd, or admitting openly that they were wrong or are even inclined to change their opinion during the course of a thread. When it comes to politics there are usually just a few sides to an issue. So what do you expect? stellauk I must say I have not heard you ask why someone has a particular opinion. I hear from you your own opinion on the issue. Now there is nothing wrong with that of course. But you’ve no reason to complain when you AND I do the same. When it comes to minority opinions I rather enjoy expressing them. But I don’t look at it as a minority opinion…just my opinion and I express that every time and I’m sure most do as well. So perhaps there is just agreement on most issues…at least on each side of the political ideologies most ascribe too here. Butch

blacksword404 -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:01:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida Yes, I didn't mean for my "see a few people much differently" to be a negative remark (I realized later it may have come across that way). I gained respect for some and lost respect for others, but in the end, people are who they are, depending on their lives at the time, so it's all good. I do think the fiasco changed the place, though. It almost destroyed his place. There were people claiming to have talked to them. People hero worshiping them. After all that it would have only one more blow to shred people's confidence in the site. Suppose you had found out dark steven, ladyp were socks? That whole situation was like a civil war.

NuevaVida -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:14:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 Suppose you had found out dark steven, ladyp were socks? That whole situation was like a civil war. Well that's what some of the aftermath issues were - one group of people felt totally hurt, angry and deceived, and another group felt there was no reason to feel that way. It was totally the Civil War of CM. I think a good handful of folks left after that. If it were to happen again - with names like your examples - I'd go, too.

Level -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:33:17 PM)
Having missed all that, but being brought up to speed (by some veddy saucy friends), it blows my mind about Arpig.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:33:30 PM)
If this question constitutes a thread hijack, please ignore it with my apologies. I've seen a lot of references lately to this fiasco being discussed now, something about "the 4 lesbians" and something about Hannah, all sounding like something really crazy happened here not too long ago to change CM. Lots of us are newbies and may wonder what happened. If anyone would care to give us a little history, it would be appreciated.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:49:17 PM)
Keeping my opinion of this situation to myself, but this link should give an indication of the lasting ripples created by Arpig & the Hallucinations.

dcnovice -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:51:44 PM)
quote: It was totally the Civil War of CM We had a Civil War? And I missed it? Well, damn. I'm guessing reenactments are unlikely.

Level -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 6:55:56 PM)
Let's hope so, dc [:)]

OrionTheWolf -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 7:09:02 PM)
This is correct in my opinion as well. What happened for the longest time is that a new poster would ask a question, then a regular would post that it had been asked before and to do a search. There is no discussion in that. Then the regular posters wonder why there are not as many topics. It is because so many have already been discussed, and few want to revisit a topic. The other issue relates to it, which is that people want to engage others in discussion so they try elsewhere. Since a new large venue opened about the time of the decline, many went to check it out. Now mix in all the drama that happens in discussion forums on a large scale, and you have many that have left. Always remember that it is a person's choice to leave, and if they say "so and so" or "such and such" made them leave, they are admitting they really have no internal power to determine their own course and are the victim of their own psychological issues that trigger their behavior. Posting links are helpful, but that happened a lot less than the "stop asking a question that has been asked before" responses. With those I see here now, and read (I just don't engage in discussion as much anymore) I think the forum will do just fine as long as the naysayers will lighten up, and those that want to make mountains out of mole hills just stop doing that. quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first. People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement. Most people do know how to use a search engine. A search engine won't give you human interaction. You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine. If someone asks something specific and I think an outside link will help, then I will post the link, but I think many people post on forums because they want to be heard.

dcnovice -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 7:32:35 PM)
quote: Keeping my opinion of this situation to myself, but this link should give an indication of the lasting ripples created by Arpig & the Hallucinations. Oh. My. Word. Hannah was not my cup of tea, so I tended to skip venues where she or the Hannettes were performing. Sounds like I saved myself some melodrama; probably just as well.

stellauk -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 8:50:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub When it comes to politics there are usually just a few sides to an issue. So what do you expect? stellauk I must say I have not heard you ask why someone has a particular opinion. I hear from you your own opinion on the issue. Now there is nothing wrong with that of course. But you’ve no reason to complain when you AND I do the same. Hello Butch, warmest wishes for 2013. What I posted above wasn't a complaint at all, just an observation and.... I included myself in the 'people' about whom I made the observations (not admittedly not clearly, but I do post here, yes?). I've done it a few times, but not often enough beyond rarely or occasionally. When it comes to politics there's certainly more than a few sides. This migth surprise you, but even though I identify as left wing or socialist, I tend to disagree with many other socialists almost as often as I do among people on the political right. Politics isn't meant to be everyone rooting for the party as you would as a sports fan with yoyur favourite team, but an open discussion of ideas. quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub When it comes to minority opinions I rather enjoy expressing them. But I don’t look at it as a minority opinion…just my opinion and I express that every time and I’m sure most do as well. So perhaps there is just agreement on most issues…at least on each side of the political ideologies most ascribe too here. Butch As you do which is why I enjoy reading your posts. I think in contrast to this perceived 'decline' P & R is going through a golden era at the moment. I can't remember which politican said it, but the words 'you have never had it so good' come to mind.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 8:54:55 PM)
Read that thread. Thanks for providing that link. God almighty.

littlewonder -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 9:49:17 PM)
For me if there happened to be another civil war here and there turned out to be more socks of well known posters, it still would not bother me since I don't know anyone on here in person and therefore I have no feelings toward them one way or another. I have no ties to everyone here. I assume everyone is a sock and I'm simply talking to another machine. Makes life much more easier when you can say "I don't give a fuck. What's the big deal?"

metamorfosis -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/2/2013 1:09:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida If YOU started a thread as heartcream has challenged, I don't think you'll get the same negative reaction, because people know you and like you here. If a newbie started the same thread, we'd see a different response... That was sort of my point. I think it's up to the more seasoned posters to start those threads. And I am still going to start one. Pam

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