RE: The decline of collarme (Full Version)

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JeffBC -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 3:22:36 PM)

Thanks Ron. I feel a sense of security now that cosmic balance has been restored and all is right with the world :)



mnottertail -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 3:32:16 PM)

I hope to some day, girl is gonna have to wear a football helmet to keep her brains from blowing out she gets out after mine all these years passing.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 5:20:02 PM)

~FRing it~

With a lead in like Ron's, I doubt I can do anything to come even remotely close in comparison [:)]

Ultimately Im a newbie here as well. I have no "back in the old days when..." experiences to compare then to now. Ive been a member of CM for a number of years under this profile and under my individual profile that I started out with. I took a peek at the forums here, but just never decided until recently to jump into the pool. Ive received one post removal from the mods, but in all honesty...I deserved it because I did violate the TOS. I dont see them as being heavy-handed compared to any other message boards that Ive been a part of. Ive been a member of boards during what is considered the heydey of its existence. Its been my experience that the ebb and flow that others have spoken about here occurs pretty much across the board. Nature seems to be cyclic. So while some might see this as a low period of the trough, there is always generally an upswing that follows.

I also dont see the mob mentality either. Im a newbie too, but I havent been treated unfairly or been run out of town on a rail by the "inner clique." What I have seen in my time of observing and participating is that people tend to get treated the way that they treat others. If you come in acting like a douchebag, its only right you should expect to get treated like a douchebag. Id like to hope that I acted okay because my experience here so far is that I seem to have assimilated well enough. But again, I dont think I came in here acting like a total ass...so I havent been treated as such in return. There is here, as in life, a certain level of personal responsibility that people have to be willing to own. Some of the harsh treatment Ive seen some receive has been because they did a lot of things to warrant that reaction. It really honestly is true that you reap what you sow sometimes. Just my personal opinion



kalikshama -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 7:15:37 PM)

quote:

I hope to some day, girl is gonna have to wear a football helmet to keep her brains from blowing out she gets out after mine all these years passing.


Poise was kind enough to hook me up:

[image]local://upfiles/1052865/7FF1B003D33C4911A640C620BDB80D54.jpg[/image]



Powergamz1 -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 9:39:18 PM)

I'll just say that I wouldn't be shocked to find out that the first account loss was deliberate at the hands of someone... I also wouldn't make the unproveable claim that any *particular* someone did it.
Feel free to ascribe the 2nd inaccessible account outcome to coincidence, to ninjas, to the tron gods, or to evil mods, that's reading things into my post that I didn't put in there.

I simply related anecdotal evidence of what happened, in support of the notion that sometimes people can lose their accounts for reasons other than official banning.

I'm not going to 'clarify' or defend something else that I never said.



quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

The Powergamz before this one had the password changed by someone other than myself and is inaccessible to me. I can only presume that a regular member wouldn't have the ability to do something like that.


No. YOU stated, that your password was changed by someone other than yourself. That you presume that a "regular"member wouldn't be able to do that. So if it wasn't a real member who .. only people left are Mods.

That's not creating internet drama that is asking for clarification on YOUR statement.




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 9:42:30 PM)

If your experience here was so horrible, why are you back?

If you're not a troll, why do you keep making this thread about you you you?

If your group on Fet is so marvelous, why aren't you busy over there instead of stirring up shit over here?








ChatteParfaitt -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/28/2012 9:43:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Powergamz1

I'll just say that I wouldn't be shocked to find out that the first account loss was deliberate at the hands of someone... I also wouldn't make the unproveable claim that any *particular* someone did it.
Feel free to ascribe the 2nd inaccessible account outcome to coincidence, to ninjas, to the tron gods, or to evil mods, that's reading things into my post that I didn't put in there.

I simply related anecdotal evidence of what happened, in support of the notion that sometimes people can lose their accounts for reasons other than official banning.

I'm not going to 'clarify' or defend something else that I never said.






Righty.



Aswad -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 6:09:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I know during the sock-hay-day, it was so common to call users obscene names and tell them to fuck off, etc., and I thought a lot of that was allowed.


Apart from the infighting catalyzed by the alters, I didn't much mind, actually. The infighting was the problem, and the alters were a catalyst for that; we can blame them for fucking with us, but not for turning on each other. That part, we did ourselves. In short, a lot of people took their own certainties about things as licence to be assholes, eventually learned that assholery is rarely forgiven just because one turns out to have been right, and turned angry and bitter when they had to face the consequences of their own behaviors. I would like to think there's a lesson to be learned in all that, and that it will be learned by all parties eventually.

quote:

Maybe moderation is tighter now, and I just haven't noticed it.


More literal, and with more collateral damage, but not tighter as such, IMO.

I don't think I've had any gold letters of the "you've been a bad boy" variety that weren't well deserved. Most of my gold letters are quite cordial conversations with the moderators, such as when I wanted to make sure I stayed on the right side of the line in the "Arena" thread in the Gorean section (which I knew was close to that line, hence being proactive about a constructive dialogue). Some have been related to the "and all the replies, too" policies, and I tried to be accomodating with those, initially.

But that's straying in an OT direction, so let's leave it at that; we have another thread on the moderation side of the question.

IWYW,
— Aswad.



Aswad -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 6:28:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhenLoveBeckons

On another note ... I just have to say "Hi" to Aswad ... one of the very few people on this site who actually knew/knows how to conduct himself in a civil discussion. It was always a pleasure to exchange points of view with you.


Thanks. I'm not perfect, but I try.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Using this post as a springboard, rather than as a reply to Aswad in particular. (I hope you don't mind, Aswad.)


Not at all. It's a public exchange. Your post was very welcome.

quote:

That creates the atmosphere of 'why start threads that are just going to poof?'


Yes, and with the people we want to see getting into a thread leaving, or visiting less frequently, or whatever, we gradually also get to an atmosphere of "Why start threads that aren't going to go anywhere?"

I also hear people say some of the threads are just rehashes and thus not interesting.

I firmly disagree. I've had a phone conversation with a poster here on the old sub/slave thing, for instance, as a tangent to the free/slave thing, as a tangent to, well, you get the idea (do we see a reason why I don't mind thread drift? lol), and I would like to think we both enjoyed that conversation. Notably, though, it didn't much resemble how that sort of topic is going to go as a thread, at least not these days (not that that particular topic has ever tended to go well). That example having been picked precisely because it's the archetypical example of a rehash thread.

Interesting people's ideas tend to grow more refined over time, to change and expand and deepen, so the same topic can, with the right people, become a new one the second time around. We all bring our own growth to the group when things work, and thus expand each others' minds, widen our perspectives, etc., and we get feedback on whether our growth is heading in a direction that has substance to it. I know kdsub said we never see people saying "you're right" or "I was wrong", but I can recall a few occasions where I've said just that, and also occasions where others have said so (both to me and to others).

quote:

However, it's prevalent enough that I'm seeing similar comments from various posters on enough threads that trying to discuss the matter while skipping it is almost like we are trying to ignore the elephant in the room.


Almost?

quote:

Getting past that needs to be a cooperated effort between posters and Mods.


Yes. This is why I tried, for a while, to post with the good of the community in mind. We need to take an active hand in maintaining a good and healthy community for there to be one. Just like police can't build a good suburb if the citizens aren't doing their part, the moderators can't build a good community, that's up to posters.

And that, I think, is on topic.

IWYW,
— Aswad.



Kirata -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 11:59:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

We need to take an active hand in maintaining a good and healthy community for there to be one.

I suppose I agree, that's where the rubber hits the road. But there remains the question of what constitutes a "good and healthy" community. In a passionate discussion, I'm not bothered if someone is kind enough to inform another contributor that they're fucking nuts. A little rowdiness, I can handle. It might even be healthy.

But I am deeply bothered by mindless ideologues who can be counted upon to contaminate any discussion of their particular sacred cow with bald misrepresentations of fact and shit they flat-out make up to suit the occasion. I feel like someone should help them find their way home, and probably caution their neighbors.

K.



Hillwilliam -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 12:25:01 PM)

K would I be correct in translating part of that as diplomatically saying "When some 19 yo porn obsessed horndog starts spouting bullshit, what the fuck do you EXPECT from a bunch of Sadists?"



JeffBC -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 12:34:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
I firmly disagree. I've had a phone conversation with a poster here on the old sub/slave thing, for instance, as a tangent to the free/slave thing, as a tangent to, well, you get the idea (do we see a reason why I don't mind thread drift? lol), and I would like to think we both enjoyed that conversation. Notably, though, it didn't much resemble how that sort of topic is going to go as a thread, at least not these days (not that that particular topic has ever tended to go well). That example having been picked precisely because it's the archetypical example of a rehash thread.

And since I suspect you're talking about me... or at least... you certainly could have been, I'll go ahead and point out that I agree and in fact lamented that the conversation could not be held here and with more viewpoints presented. But like you I agree it isn't a thing likely to happen. The topic spanned both BDSM & Gor. It covered a handful of sacred cows on both sides. Kirata's "mindless ideologues" would be it's undoing on both the Gorean and BDSM sides. From that, however, I don't conclude that those ideologues are actually mindless. I suspect that some of those same people, in a different venue, would've engaged the topic much more seriously. In other words, I think it's the culture of CM more than the individuals involved and I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing.

quote:

Yes. This is why I tried, for a while, to post with the good of the community in mind. We need to take an active hand in maintaining a good and healthy community for there to be one. Just like police can't build a good suburb if the citizens aren't doing their part, the moderators can't build a good community, that's up to posters.

That. And I will say that I'm heartened by some subtle but noticeable changes I think I'm seeing since the two moderation & decline threads. I hadn't really expected anyone to really agree, reflect, and make adjustments. So perhaps I am getting a bit too jaded and cynical? Unfortunately twice now I've thwarted my own purpose on responses so I can't say I'm really all that proud of myself.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 8:00:22 PM)

~FR~

Don't post much anymore, but I read (or at least skim topics). I think the two biggest reasons CM will never be like it was 6 years ago (what many call the good ole days) is for two reasons:

1) From 2005 to about 2007 or 08, there was a huge amount of discussions going on. Things were discussed from as many angles as possible. Many things were discussed over and over. Then came the "you should search for that it has been discussed before" and posters became experts at just posting links of old discussions. So when new folks came along, the asked a question that had been asked before and instead of discussion, they get links.

2) A different venue for discussions opened in FetLife. FL has it's place, but as a discussion venue it is too difficult to follow discussions with many replies. It has it's niche and CM has it's niche.

Nothing will change these two things. Discussion venues, whether they are boards, chatrooms, or mail lists, will always evolve in some way.

People can either be the change they want, or they can add more CO2 to the atmosphere.



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 8:15:28 PM)


All I can say is ... I remember a Lady Angelika texting me on Saturday nights with ... "Hey, lets start a thread" ... typically it was a topic she was reading at that moment.

Of course .. I had to figure out how to converse on THAT topic ... fast ... LMAO

then the thread would just take off!

Indeed, I miss those days!



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/29/2012 11:17:05 PM)

For no reason ... other than get it back to the top of the list

I would just like to see others thoughts





Aswad -> RE: The decline of collarme (12/30/2012 6:04:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

And since I suspect you're talking about me... or at least... you certainly could have been, I'll go ahead and point out that I agree and in fact lamented that the conversation could not be held here and with more viewpoints presented.


I certainly could have been, as you say.

quote:

And I will say that I'm heartened by some subtle but noticeable changes I think I'm seeing since the two moderation & decline threads.


The two most recent, at least. The two prior ones were closed prematurely.

I will go with "heartened", if we can agree that "noticeable" is in its strictest sense (i.e. I notice cause I care, not because it's obvious).

IWYW,
— Aswad.



heartcream -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 1:08:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What a shame. I've never known that purple was illegible to you. I must have been mistaken that we've had beneficial exchanges before. In the interest of being polite, I am leaving this one black in order to tell you that I will be sorry that you will be skipping My posts in the future.

For what it's worth, it isn't subjects like reincarnation that prompt Me to write dissenting opinions. If you should ever want to talk about books by Elisabeth Kublar-Ross, I'll be more than happy to discuss the subject with you.


Yeah see, I can read this and did read it and thanks for doing this for me.

I picked a random off-center subject that sets folks off freaking out and stomping in caps etc. It could be any number of topics. Anyway, live and live let live that is the lesson I aim to live for myself and let others do the same. We likely have had meaningful exchanges time to time because I was likely very interested in reading the posts but for the most part it is painful physically for me to read purple writing so I dont.




heartcream -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 1:17:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone


How to improve things?

Start discussions, participate in discussions, be innovative in your thoughts and ideas, share your experiences, be respectful when disagreeing, attack the premise not the person. It takes just one person to start a new thread ... so take that step rather than deciding not to.


Waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy easier said than done. I have seen the hatchet job that ensues like vicious popcorn the moment someone tries to start an interesting thread, or say something interesting. Meanies, bullies, Neanderthals and their women jump in and tear the OP and any other participant a new one, they shut the thing down most unpleasantly, so yeah deciding not to start a new thread or say anything diverse is unhappily often a very wise choice.



metamorfosis -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 1:30:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream
...I have seen the hatchet job that ensues like vicious popcorn the moment someone tries to start an interesting thread...so yeah deciding not to start a new thread or say anything diverse is unhappily often a very wise choice.


I dare you to write a thread and prove it.

Pam



heartcream -> RE: The decline of collarme (1/1/2013 1:32:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis



I dare you to write a thread and prove it.

Pam



I dare ya to go first!




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