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RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 9:38:35 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I had a much longer response but I think I'll leave it at this... It's a damned good thing that the expectations of female dominants are different than those of male dominants. I'm pondering what would happen to a male dom who posted something like this. He'd probably need a new profile.

Look, you are trying to run a business. There will be shop lifters and window shoppers and rude customers. What did you expect?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MsClaudiaG)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:03:14 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Do you think so Jeff? I honestly think I would have told a guy the same thing.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:11:28 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Would you ever in a hundred million years consider submitting to someone who'd made this post? Consider the various character attributes that are illuminated here. Generally, my impression of female subs is that they are looking for things like "self control", "discipline", "thoughtfulness", "honor", and the like. Although some of us try, our cocks are seldom enough to close the deal.

Had I made this post on my 8th post I absolutely would roll up that profile and start from scratch and pray nobody ever connected my new profile to the old one although I suppose it's possible that's my age talking rather than my gender.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:18:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe age but more likely maturity.

The OP must certainly be (I am not going to bother looking at the profile to be sure) quite young and still has the expectation of getting things for free, just because she mistakenly believes she is owed it. Age will remove her of that fallacy and hopefully, she will gain a great deal more maturity to merit sincere submission.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:36:45 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I kind of see where you're going with this, Jeff. I have often seen male dominants ridiculed for posting
questions that would seem easy enough for them to answer on their own, had they just utilized some
common sense. A lack thereof would diminish my ability to see them as leaders/dominants.

I think this is more a case of not expecting as much dominant qualities in financial dominance,
and trying to be more tolerant of their kink.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:42:35 AM   
MsClaudiaG


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline 		I am not young and have worked as a Dom for a year now, I am very clear that things don't come easily for free. I do this because I love it. I have friends who are doms and we look out for and after each other. I would post a warning about this type of man anywhere.

As I said before, my main intentions were good in trying to warn others, as the man sounded potentially dangerous. I did not fall for his scam but others may.

It's an open thread and you are quite entitled to your own opinions. I know that I invited that by starting the thread. I may be a Dom but I am also very respectful to others and as well as my Dom 'persona' , I am a real person who thinks and cares for others.

It wasn't an advertisement - where I come from we look after each other. It was really that simple to me.
Besides, If I was advertising, I could have made a better job of it don't you think Lol

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:48:12 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

I kind of see where you're going with this, Jeff. I have often seen male dominants ridiculed for posting
questions that would seem easy enough for them to answer on their own, had they just utilized some
common sense. A lack thereof would diminish my ability to see them as leaders/dominants.


There just isn't an equivalent of, nor any demand for, the 'selfish bratty princess'* thing amongst hetero male dominants, is there?

*No offence meant to the OP for that phrase. It does seem an accurate representation of what you're selling, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.




_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 10:52:00 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		oh you'd be surprised then at the crap we see on here that is just covered advertising. also maybe you ought to consider that those of us that use the forums on a regular basis have enough common sence not to get mixed up like that in the first place.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to MsClaudiaG)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:06:44 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Would you ever in a hundred million years consider submitting to someone who'd made this post? Consider the various character attributes that are illuminated here. Generally, my impression of female subs is that they are looking for things like "self control", "discipline", "thoughtfulness", "honor", and the like. Although some of us try, our cocks are seldom enough to close the deal.

Had I made this post on my 8th post I absolutely would roll up that profile and start from scratch and pray nobody ever connected my new profile to the old one although I suppose it's possible that's my age talking rather than my gender.


Perhaps so, but in her defense I also saw her delete the person's name when told to, and to come back and admit that she did see sense in the rule and admit that she was lashing out - in my mind that stands in her favour and shows ability to listen to reason and admit mistakes.

I misunderstood your first post though - I thought you were saying that a man would need a new profile because we would all tear into him so badly he wouldn't want to talk to us under the same name anymore. Now I think you are saying he would need a new profile because the post might reflect badly and put people off him.

Would I submit to a guy that did that? Probably not, but it's hard to say because as Peon pointed out there isn't really a male dom/fem sub equivalent of what the OP is offering, so I can't put myself in that position very easily.

Besides, I am trying to be a better person and one of my personal resolutions is to try to be helpful and to not give in to the temptation to be snarky when a new person posts a slightly clueless post. I have fallen into bad habits of just being dismissive of things like this thread, and I realise if I can take a nicer and more constructive approach, I might help someone new find their feet round here.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:07:20 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
There just isn't an equivalent of, nor any demand for, the 'selfish bratty princess'* thing amongst hetero male dominants, is there?

I'm not exactly sure that's what I saw. I get it that there are different demands on the female led side. It was more the lack of thoughtfulness, self-discipline and the like. I wouldn't follow the lead of anyone who was prone to knee-jerk reactions (sometimes known as "temper tantrums"). It seems like a way to get hurt quickly. But as I ponder that I realize not only am I skewed by my gender, but also the relationship type I desire. Planning & self-discipline may not be important skilsl if by "dominant" what we mean is "sexual dominant". I suspect the big requirement there is more to be "sexy & assertive" than anything else and the OP has that down cold -- at least visually.

I'm also beginning to wonder if there's a cultural thing going on because MsClaudiaG would "Post a warning about this type of man anywhere". I just have to wonder where those places are that would make this a sensible thing to do? Maybe I'm missing something about UK web sites. THIS, however, is the big pond. Here, this is simply one stranger calling names at another stranger. It's Jerry Springer and it could never be anything else (which is why it's against the TOS). But if I imagined a much, much smaller community and a website where there was actually some "reputation" that worked then this would all make a lot more sense.

Clearly the OP is missing some big picture items about how a large-scale international online community works. But it's also possible I'm missing some aspect of whatever culture she's coming out of that would make this all make sense.

edited to respond to Athena:
I'm trying to be a better person too. On this one I'm trying to understand (paragraphs 2 & 3 above). And I agree... kudo's to her for complying with the TOS when pointed out. Astonishingly not everyone does.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 12/29/2012 11:15:55 AM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:07:32 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
There just isn't an equivalent of, nor any demand for, the 'selfish bratty princess'* thing amongst hetero male dominants, is there?

I've seen plenty of women chase narcissistic assholes. Haven't you?

MsClaudiaG: Part of the issue is the newness of your profile. There's a good chance you'll get a lot of guys shooting at you for a while, since you're fresh meat. Example: "you've been reported as fake, a man, go on cam for me and show me you boobs so I know for sure." The website offer sounds like something in the same category to me.

For anyone on this site, male or female, dom or sub, there's a learning curve, where we have to figure out how to sort sincere email contacts from insincere ones. Don't get too pissed at yourself if you make a few more mistakes before you figure it all out. Good luck, and happy new year.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:24:32 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
There just isn't an equivalent of, nor any demand for, the 'selfish bratty princess'* thing amongst hetero male dominants, is there?

I've seen plenty of women chase narcissistic assholes. Haven't you?


Now, now, I didn't say that the OP was a 'narcissistic asshole'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:27:50 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Besides, I am trying to be a better person and one of my personal resolutions is to try to be helpful and to not give in to the temptation to be snarky when a new person posts a slightly clueless post. I have fallen into bad habits of just being dismissive of things like this thread, and I realise if I can take a nicer and more constructive approach, I might help someone new find their feet round here.

Both assuming malice and assuming willingness to learn are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you assume someone says something out of wickedness or idiocy, and you react with a put-down, you're very likely to receive a wicked or idiotic response. Similarly, if you react with helpful information (by which I don't mean smarmy validating bullshit), you're very likely to find that the person moves with your motion.

It's a principle similar to the one of "creating your own CollarMe" through use of the Block and Hide buttons. To a large extent, in real life, you can change how people interact with you, and whether they want to do things for you, based on whether you expect them to be mature adults, or whiny losers. Either way, you will find what you're looking for.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:32:37 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Both assuming malice and assuming willingness to learn are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you assume someone says something out of wickedness or idiocy, and you react with a put-down, you're very likely to receive a wicked or idiotic response. Similarly, if you react with helpful information (by which I don't mean smarmy validating bullshit), you're very likely to find that the person moves with your motion.

Absolutely correct and accordingly my better response would have been simply to explain to the OP why her "warning" could not possibly work here and, if I was interested, inquire why it would work somewhere else.

I have to admit, sleep addled brain and insufficient coffee.

My apologies to MsClaudiaG.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:34:22 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Look at us all being grown up round here!

I do hope we didn't scare the OP off.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 11:36:26 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Also, it's easy to verify that someone has a plumber's license. Any one could send you websites and say that they did them. Hell, I produce websites and could claim them as mine despite having minions who do all the actual work.



lol indeed...

reminds me on a troll who claimed being a lawyer but then came up with any excuse why I am not able to find his name...neither on yellow pages (where lawyers are well stored) nor on the register  and I even found him claiming to be a sub and looking for a Domme to go on holiday with him...now...of course someone "must have stolen his details" and used it without his knowledge

Seriously...my cats have way more manners and brain then some of the twatwaffles I came accross online


_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 12:40:07 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Look at us all being grown up round here!

We're just lulling the newcomers into a false sense of security. :)

quote:

I do hope we didn't scare the OP off.

We didn't (or at least I didn't)... group hugs had in background.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 12:46:15 PM   
MsClaudiaG


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/28/2012
Status: offline 		Thank you for your reply needles and pins. My thoughts had been that anyone can read this forum, even if they are not a poster. My intention was not to offend

Thank you all for your replies. As I stated previously my intentions had been good. Yes the Internet is a big place and yes there are a lot of idiots etc but this man sounded to be potentially dangerous if anyone were to ever meet. I would still warn other doms about someone like this. However, I do realise that this forum may not be the best place as a few of you pointed out, I also could be anyone.

I also have to say that I agree with everything you have said Jeff. I am a Dom in main, findom is only a very recent thing due to requests. Therefore, I should know not to post when I am Not in a neutral and calm placeI didn't think you we're being rude, just to the point, so don't change that aspect of your personality, many respect and value this in a person.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Warning - 12/29/2012 1:19:41 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Even if some kind of warning was allowed, if we were protected from every snippy egomaniac artistic web designer . . . there wouldn't be a web as we know it. It would be all text USEnet style... because almost every web designer has a secret diva just waiting to leap out and make a fool of themselves.

Just sayin'

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MsClaudiaG)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Warning - 12/30/2012 4:14:24 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Since the TOS parade has passed, this person does this A LOT & keeps a list of "fakes" in their profile which was a long topic of discussion about 2 weeks ago. You may find this person an ongoing problem.

Let me just say you made the right choice & did the right thing (ok the name thing not so much) think of the TOS gang bang as a bonus?? Kinksters that want to use business as a way to gain pleasure are best avoided, you saw why. To avoid future heart ache delete this profile, start fresh & know you made the right decision

Best wishes

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 40
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