Halcyone
Posts: 93
Joined: 8/24/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
I am not really wanting to start another discussion on Online Vs. reality. There are already a couple of those going - but I didn't want to hijack the threads either. I thought of this thanks to ScooterTrash and in what He was explaining on the Why Online isn't thread. Just made me think/brought up an interesting point. If online relationship interaction causes mental stimulus, how do people recieve support and healing? How does it work? How do you care for the mental stability of a submissive that you interact with online? How do you care for them after any event that has taken place? Peace and Rapture
For my own mental health, I'm just going to skip reading any of the other replies, so if I repeat anything that someone else has contributed, I do apologize.
Sir and I have been in an online long-distance relationship for over a year now. We have plans to meet face to face before the year is out but to be honest, we're both very happy with the way things have gone between us so far. Being online this way has given us a chance to take things slowly, to learn to communicate on a deeper level than we might have managed face to face and has basically allowed us to build a strong foundation for a relationship that we want to last for the rest of our lives.
That said, there have been times when the distance has made what you're asking about a thousand times more difficult. Yes, we've both experienced "drop". We've had misunderstandings. We've been in situations where we didn't have the time to give as much as was needed, and where being able to touch each other probably would have had the same effect in half an hour that our talking together had after about three hours.
It works because we both are very careful about being especially aware of the other person's mindset. We have to get into each other's heads to a certain extent. If I'm feeling down but really don't want to talk about it because I know our time that day is limited and I don't want to color it with my being mopey, we have to talk about it. Whether I bring it up or Sir gets it out of me, the effort has to be there. Otherwise it sits and misunderstandings happen-- some of the worst misunderstandings we've had have come out of silence, because we don't have visual and physical clues there to help us with communication. We don't have the luxury of not speaking up some of the time.
Aftercare, by necessity, also takes a different form. We can't cuddle in together, outside of words, or a voice on the phone. We compensate by setting aside as much time as we can, and as much is needed. If one of us is feeling shaky, we have to say so, and then take the verbal support that is offered. Many of the things we tell each other in these moments are the same as another couple would say in person, I suppose, as the purpose and the effect are the same.
I'm not sure if this really answers your question or if it's a bit too vague and general to do that. I can try to put more specific examples to words if you like but I'll leave it till then.
Thank you for asking a more constructive question about these sorts of relationships. 
Edit: Oh yes, I'd forgotten about the fluid intake requirements. Sir does require me to drink a lot of water, as well as occasionally do stretches and exercises by the computer during a long session. It isn't all mental!
< Message edited by Halcyone -- 6/18/2006 6:46:46 AM >
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"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore
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