-=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (Full Version)

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ResidentSadist -> -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:41:42 PM)

It's happened before and once again I tripped over a nice local girl but, I played the friend card instead of courting her because her profile here says straight. Not that there aren't exceptions, but in general my girl has to like girls as much as I do. So later on I bump into her profile on FetLife and it says bi.

This isn't the first time. It has happened several times. So much so, I have to ask, why would you list as bi on Fet but list as straight over here?



SacredDepravity -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:46:34 PM)

As a female, I have no idea. As a male, I am sure there might be a belief (based in reality or not) that one site is more bi-male friendly than the other, but bi-females are pretty well the DOOD wet dream girl. Maybe they just accidentally checked the wrong box on one or the other? I can't think of anything else.

SD



BambiBoi -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:47:44 PM)

It's like being bar sexual. Fetlife is a fine place to meet people, but it has always felt like a sleazy pick-up bar to me. In the attention-competitive environment, a straight woman willing to indulge with the fairer sex might just take the leap and say "bi." This is why orientations should be replaced with a Kinsey scale number.

Edit to add: Link, because it occurs to me that classy folks like you might not know what "bar sexual" is.

[image]http://img.ihned.cz/attachment.php/110/41837110/lKS9rDoTNg3vAJVGbikLU6datx7cyWHe/KinseyScale.jpg[/image]



rhymeswithcupid -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:48:02 PM)

It could be that they created a profile here first and only later learned of their bi desires?



TheLilSquaw -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:49:08 PM)

I post bi on both CM and fetlife
I do not post bi on my tagged profile, I am listed as straight.
Simply because on tagged when men see a chick is bi they automatically think "woohoo! 3 some opportunity."

It could also be an over sight.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 12:54:10 PM)

I'm going to guess that it has to do with the image someone wants to project and/or a response to the type of email one gets on each site. For example, maybe when she made the profile here she was only interested in dating men and didn't want to be contacted by people seeking a hot, bi babe. However, she may use FetLife more like Facebook than a dating site and felt more comfortable revealing more information there.

The only way to know for sure is to ask her.



RumpusParable -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 1:39:54 PM)

Bar Sexual - What bitter women call other women who don't want to go home with them after a casual snog.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 1:42:26 PM)

Because listing yourself as Bi on Collarme invites the idiots who cant accept that bi doesnt mean poly... Or wanting of threesomes or... Any other stupidity the men display in spades....



seekingreality -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 1:50:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

It's happened before and once again I tripped over a nice local girl but, I played the friend card instead of courting her because her profile here says straight. Not that there aren't exceptions, but in general my girl has to like girls as much as I do. So later on I bump into her profile on FetLife and it says bi.

This isn't the first time. It has happened several times. So much so, I have to ask, why would you list as bi on Fet but list as straight over here?



Could be a lot of reasons. People often create a profile with an idea of a sexual orientation they might want to try. They put "bi" even though they've never had a bi experience. Later they create another profile and decide to use a different orientation because they decide bi isn't for them and they have completely forgotten what their first profile says. I've known women who list themselves as heterosexual and later change it to straight. Or maybe she simply clicked the wrong button and didn't realize it (I've done that myself.)

I'd say the bottom line is don't get too hung up on how people classify themselves on profiles. A lot of times, people fill out profiles quickly and some of the answers are related to their mood at that moment. When you read the profile months later, their mood may have changed, but the profile hasn't.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 2:02:56 PM)

I don't know but men do the same thing. I have seen men on here as straight and over there as "heteroflexible"...I have a very strict, born male, never been confused or curious..rule so, if they don't have straight on both I won't bother.



tj444 -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 2:25:52 PM)

You will never really know the answer unless you ask the girl herself.. All we can do is try to guess..



tj444 -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 2:32:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

Maybe they just accidentally checked the wrong box on one or the other? I can't think of anything else.

SD

A guy emailed me and his profile listed the types of people he was interested in.. One was sub transexuals.. I pointed that out to him and he said "oh, that's why cross dressers keep emailing me!" So much for carefully crafted profiles.. [:D]



Epytropos -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 2:58:59 PM)

I switch my profile back and forth between bi and straight depending on whether I'm feeling more honest or more irritated by the unwillingness of male subs to acknowledge my expressed disinterest in becoming romantically entangled with them. It's very possible she did the same for similar reasons.

Since there's no 'heteroflexible' or 'kinda gay-ish?' listing, those of us lurking in the gray area are left to either lie about it or attempt to carry across the fact that yes, we have been known to enjoy the company of gentlemen (or ladies, in her case) but no, we're not looking to field inquiries on the matter. In my case, the former leaves some of my former posts appearing disingenuous since I'm 'out' on the forums, while the latter leaves me trying to decide if I give a fraction of the fucks necessary to attempt to explain.



LadyPact -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 4:42:51 PM)

I'm going with different search engines. On CM, you can specifically look for someone by their sexual orientation, so listing as bisexual here brings a lot more crap email. (I can only imagine what bisexual submissive females receive in drive-by mail.) You can't search for people with bisexuality as a criteria on Fet. Unless somebody actually goes looking for the profile, the bisexual marker won't be seen. Ergo, less crap mail, more ability to express one's self without their sexual preference being what some males zero in on.



littlewonder -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 4:47:21 PM)

I think Fetlife is seen as the kinky version of Girls Gone Wild and so they list themselves as whatever will shock or attract others.

CollarMe is seen more as the kinky version of match.com.



theRose4U -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 8:53:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

Maybe they just accidentally checked the wrong box on one or the other? I can't think of anything else.

SD

A guy emailed me and his profile listed the types of people he was interested in.. One was sub transexuals.. I pointed that out to him and he said "oh, that's why cross dressers keep emailing me!" So much for carefully crafted profiles.. [:D]

Sweet new(er) Dom on here listed lives for CBT...was more than a little embarassed when he discovered what it REALLY meant



theRose4U -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 8:56:50 PM)

LMAO all the biggest freaks I've dated were off match...part of the reason I no longer frequent



littlewonder -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 10:13:29 PM)

I only met one bad person from match.com. Unfortunately we dated for two weeks until I figure out he was violent and would call me at all hours of the night with death threats and gave my number out apparently to his drinking buddies.

The rest I had met from match.com were all very nice men, just not compatible with me.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/30/2012 11:27:15 PM)

The boxes one can check on Fet include not only heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual. They also include heteroflexible, homoflexible, pansexual and a gazillion others. On CM the only choices are heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual. None of the three CM offers accurately describes me.

The closest thing to the truth for me on CM is straight, since I'm not a true bisexual but I waver between straight and heteroflexible and I explain that on my profile. On Fetlife I call myself Fluctuating/Evolving because I do waiver between the two and I get tired of changing my profile back and forth. I explain on my Fetlife profile also why I choose that designation.

According to Kinsey's scale, I would hover between a 0 and a 1. I think the sites should actually ask for a Kinsey number than words to describe one's preference(s).

NBMG



ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Listed straight on CollarMe but bi on FetLife=- (12/31/2012 1:05:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi
It's like being bar sexual. Fetlife is a fine place to meet people, but it has always felt like a sleazy pick-up bar to me. In the attention-competitive environment, a straight woman willing to indulge with the fairer sex might just take the leap and say "bi." This is why orientations should be replaced with a Kinsey scale number………..

So you feel it is environmental. So do I, but I am not sure which aspects of the environment.

You feel CollarMe is more respectable than the likes of sleazy Fet Life. So we walk a little straighter line over here and there are less people being bar sexual.



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