RE: D/s and love (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 4:19:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Honestly, I don't care if someone else thinks we're dishonoring D/s. I'm in an amazingly happy relationship with the love of my life and have been for 13 years.

Part two is why do they care about what I do in my relationship?
This is very much how I see Dominance.

Last time I checked, I was the person in control around here. As a responsible person, I try to look at various angles, and take that into account into making decisions. Once I've done that, I don't care very much about dissenters.

My old sig line.......

"I really appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."




OsideGirl -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 4:25:37 PM)

Yeah, I honestly don't give a crap if someone thinks I'm not really a submissive, or if they think our relationship isn't really D/s. The bottom line is that I'm happy and don't need to match anyone else's definition to be so.

That's why I don't get people that get so hung up on what the difference between a slave and submissive. Who cares? As long as you're happy, why bother?



JeffBC -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 5:45:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Yeah, I honestly don't give a crap if someone thinks I'm not really a submissive, or if they think our relationship isn't really D/s. The bottom line is that I'm happy and don't need to match anyone else's definition to be so.

Yeah, color me in that square too. I am truly happy. I can live with not being twuly dominant.

That's why I don't get people that get so hung up on what the difference between a slave and submissive. Who cares? As long as you're happy, why bother?
I get why people who aren't in a relationship do this. It's a lot of posturing and positioning for status of some sort (most domly dom and most submissive sub). What confused the hell out of me is the rare time or so I've seen someone in an established, happy relationship doing it. I mean seriously, at that point you're not involved with the larger group any more. You're not "running the race". There's no status or position.




OsideGirl -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 6:01:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I get why people who aren't in a relationship do this. It's a lot of posturing and positioning for status of some sort (most domly dom and most submissive sub).


There's a profile on the other side that says, "I'm a slave. If you don't know what that means, then don't contact me." Everytime I see it, I think to myself, that statement is the reason she's been looking for so long.



aldorax -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 6:10:25 PM)


I think it's just a matter of ego and belief that one body of understanding *must* be the only acceptable one. GRARGH....hate people like that, I do.



RemoteUser -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 6:43:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13

Recently someone commented to me that loving your sub was an insult to the dynamic of the D/s relationship.  He basically said that if I loved my sub (which I do, and i also care about her, and respect her) it was a disgrace and he would "out" me.  I told him that yes, it may muddle things up a bit, but that in my opinion caring about your sub and respecting them as a human being, even loving them can add extra dimensions to the intensity of playtime.

What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?


Love is just another way
of saying what you meant to say
when words fall short of what they mean to you.



stevetng1957 -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 8:04:45 PM)

I think that to have the true relationship and allow it and you and your sub to grow there have to feelings, trust. Call it love or a deep caring you can't hear what your sub wants, and they can't come close to satisfying your wants without the feelings. Let him out you if your sub stands with you, it doesn't matter what others think.



JeffBC -> RE: D/s and love (12/31/2012 8:24:50 PM)

I've seen that one. The immediate thought in my head is "Nope, I don't so I'm not going to contact her."



KnightofMists -> RE: D/s and love (1/1/2013 9:54:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13

Recently someone commented to me that loving your sub was an insult to the dynamic of the D/s relationship.  He basically said that if I loved my sub (which I do, and i also care about her, and respect her) it was a disgrace and he would "out" me.  I told him that yes, it may muddle things up a bit, but that in my opinion caring about your sub and respecting them as a human being, even loving them can add extra dimensions to the intensity of playtime.

What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?




It never fails to amaze me the stupidity of some people. The only insult I see occurring is this idiot that is thinking loving within the D/s dynamic is an insult.

I have three women I am very much in love with. This love is essential to the strength of our dynamic. Enough said!



JeffBC -> RE: D/s and love (1/1/2013 10:25:34 AM)

Sure sure Knight... you've got three slaves now but... you're doing it wrong.



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: D/s and love (1/1/2013 11:13:21 AM)

I met a man from CM for coffee who told me that a master cannot be in love with his slave, because then he is ruled by his emotions and cannot exercise the needed authority and control. I told him that in my view, any master who can't enslave and control the woman he loves shouldn't be calling himself a master. Nothing like a newbie (me) with strong opinions!



KnightofMists -> RE: D/s and love (1/1/2013 2:47:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Sure sure Knight... you've got three slaves now but... you're doing it wrong.


Actually... Two slaves... The new love in my life is one that we are still on a path of discovery to what is best and fits for all of us. Lets call her my fuck toy for sake of discussion... ;)



SayangKitty -> RE: D/s and love (1/13/2013 4:14:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I met a man from CM for coffee who told me that a master cannot be in love with his slave, because then he is ruled by his emotions and cannot exercise the needed authority and control. I told him that in my view, any master who can't enslave and control the woman he loves shouldn't be calling himself a master. Nothing like a newbie (me) with strong opinions!



I agree with you :) the biggest reason I trust my Master is because I know He loves me. It doesn't mean He hasn't got authority or control; it means the opposite.
I've got nothing against M/s relationships without love, whatever a person likes is their business, I just wouldn't trade mine for the world.



Dreadmath -> RE: D/s and love (1/13/2013 4:23:27 PM)

Oh but of course! When I signed the all mighty Contract of Domination to receive my dominant certificate (because you need one to be a proper dominant yes!) one of the terms was:

-You are hereby prohibited from loving the person you grow closest to.

I signed it right away, because exercising the proper control and authority to someone I don't love has always been my lifelong goal...



Alecta -> RE: D/s and love (1/13/2013 7:18:27 PM)


quote:



"I really appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."





I quite miss that sig, it was one of my favorites.


There are many different nuances of love, whether it is between friends, lovers, family, for one's furry pets, or even a man and his sport of choice. And given that broad spectrum, it must be understood that D/s without love (of any variation) is abuse.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: D/s and love (1/13/2013 7:56:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TYPHON13
What are your opinions?  Does loving a sub "insult" what a D/s relationship is "really" about?  Or are D/s relationships as diverse as the people engaged in them?  Does love destroy the dynamic?

I do love my submissive and I wouldn't have it any other way. If I didn't love him & he me on some level, the dynamic would not last, IMO. However, there are as many ways to have D/s dynamics as there are people IN them. Besides, why should that other person give a rat's ass how you conduct your dynamic. It's your dynamic, not his.

NBMG



JeffBC -> RE: D/s and love (1/14/2013 8:28:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreadmath
Oh but of course! When I signed the all mighty Contract of Domination to receive my dominant certificate (because you need one to be a proper dominant yes!) one of the terms was:

-You are hereby prohibited from loving the person you grow closest to.

I signed it right away, because exercising the proper control and authority to someone I don't love has always been my lifelong goal...

OK, I vote we keep him. We've been needing someone to replace MadRabbit, no?



littlewonder -> RE: D/s and love (1/14/2013 8:31:51 AM)

I was actually thinking we need to keep him too. He makes a nice addition to the room don't ya think?



Dreadmath -> RE: D/s and love (1/14/2013 11:39:04 AM)

Now I know how a collectible figurine feels like ^^



SimplyMichael -> RE: D/s and love (1/14/2013 11:47:11 AM)

If she isn't worthy of my love, she sure as hell isn't worthy of my dominance.



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