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Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 9:26:52 AM   
Spiritedsub2


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There have been recent threads posted by young dominant men asking why they are being passed up or rejected because of their youth. I want to turn the issue around and ask dominant men who are interested in or drawn to older women, why? Why would you seek a woman significantly older than you are? If you’ve had a relationship with a much older woman, what pitfalls did you encounter? What were the joys (besides sex)?

I’m 53 and easily half of the messages I get looking for more than conversation come from men 20 or 30 years younger than I am. While I am grateful to look younger than my years, none of my messagers know that because I don’t post pictures or describe my appearance in my profile. The last invitation I received was yesterday on Fet, from a 22 year old, fully 31 years younger than me. Persistent little bugger, too.

These messages really “squicked” me when I first joined CM a few months ago, but now of course I’m inured to them (like to so much else!). But I remain puzzled by the interest in women much older than yourself. I look forward to hearing why.


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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 9:33:37 AM   
OsideGirl


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I'm 46.

I have a career. I own a thriving business and am looking to buy a second. I own a nice car. I have a nice nest egg and healthy retirement fund. I've worked very hard for those things.

Giving control to a Dominant in my mind, means that he makes the decisions regarding my life. Trusting a guy in his early 20's to make good, sensible decisions regarding my career, my home, etc is not a logical or smart move.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 9:41:32 AM   
dcnovice


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FR

In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!

― Benjamin Franklin


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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 9:46:28 AM   
Spiritedsub2


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No WAY is anyone going to be able to top that reply!

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 9:51:13 AM   
dcnovice


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quote:

No WAY is anyone going to be able to top that reply!

LOL! I can't claim credit for the wit or wisdom. Just for a magpie memory of things I've read.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 10:25:51 AM   
SinFix


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Having been approached by lots of guys half my age, the reason most gave were

1) older women know what they want
2) older women aren't full of drama
3) older women have more experience

Every one of those answers tells me that they have no experience with females at all and are generalizing a group of women based on a myth....

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 10:44:05 AM   
OsideGirl


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I'll also add another comment: I dealt with dating guys in their 20's for years and was very happy when I got into dating guys in their 30's.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 10:47:51 AM   
needlesandpins


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i find most of what franklin wrote to be patronising, especially number 8

needles

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 10:52:12 AM   
WomanlyWiles


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Yeah, I'm grateful for the attention of the youngsters, and I work hard to keep them. Are you kidding me?

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 10:53:28 AM   
Spiritedsub2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

i find most of what franklin wrote to be patronising, especially number 8

needles

I don't think ol' Ben was too PC... Number 8 made me laugh out loud though!

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Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 1:02:14 PM   
dcnovice


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quote:

I don't think ol' Ben was too PC..

Not really. And he wrote that in 1754.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 1:25:00 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


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I initially rejected younger men thinking they were on the MILF or cougar thing but I found, after speaking to some here, that many are very mature & frustrated by women in their age group. Usually they are not fresh out of college frat boys but young men who have been on their own for a while. My first Dom was 9 years younger than me. I marveled at how "old" he could act but it was because he had been through so much. I don't recommend getting involved in a serious age difference (for men or women) unless you are both over 45 because the stages of life (young man who think they never want to be a father..hits 40 & realizes what he is missing but is with a woman who has grown children & is no longer able. The young 30 yr old who was intrigued by the mature 50yr old man...when she hits 40 & he is having the older man health problems or wants to retire to FL...) but people are individuals & deserve to be treated based on their actions.

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 1:34:55 PM   
alexbdsm


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God bless you
no one can say it better
and i only can agree
thnx for sharing ur wisdom it really helps clearing the confusion inside the head

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 1:58:20 PM   
aldorax


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Kind of the reverse thing:

I have a good friend who is late-40s and routinely plays with folks almost half his age. Perhaps that's okay in terms of platonic friendships and playing (I have friends half my age too) but there's a limit to what he will do with them when playing (ie, he's got a ton more experience than them) ... but he isn't looking to form a significant LTR with them.

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 2:05:38 PM   
alexbdsm


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the whole idea is to gain experience like u said when playing with an older partner he got ton more experience so that give the younger partner more chance to learn instead of trail and error with a partner in the same age

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 3:55:19 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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The following has often been credited to Andy Rooney, even though he made it clear he did not write it, but whoever it was written by, I like it!

_____________________________________________________________________________________


As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

An older woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "commitment." The last thing she wants in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. An older woman couldn't care less, because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know anyway!

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal, and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old.


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yep

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 4:18:08 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
...
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old.



That's the thing, right there. The last guy I was crazy about seemed to like me alot as well - but not as much as he liked the 20 year old masochist. Can't say as I blame him, she was adorable and who can compete with young, fresh and eager?

I sometimes wish I was attracted to younger guys. There's no shortage of them around my house. Younger men just don't do it for me. After raising four young men, and half of their friends - young men will never be on my 'gotta have me some of that' radar.



< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/31/2012 4:29:32 PM >

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RE: Why Older Women? - 12/31/2012 5:10:48 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm 46.

I have a career. I own a thriving business and am looking to buy a second. I own a nice car. I have a nice nest egg and healthy retirement fund. I've worked very hard for those things.

Giving control to a Dominant in my mind, means that he makes the decisions regarding my life. Trusting a guy in his early 20's to make good, sensible decisions regarding my career, my home, etc is not a logical or smart move.


:)

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RE: Why Older Women? - 1/1/2013 8:42:20 AM   
plesto


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Having been approached by lots of guys half my age, the reason most gave were

1) older women know what they want
2) older women aren't full of drama
3) older women have more experience

Every one of those answers tells me that they have no experience with females at all and are generalizing a group of women based on a myth....


Reason 1 is a reason I have just posted myself as to why an older woman is less likely to be interested in someone younger. The only reason I have posted it is because it is a reason I have seen being given by older women as to why they are not interested in younger men.

Reason 2 is probably a myth/generalization.

Reason 3 is a generalization of a group but not necessarily an unreasonable one to make on a group level. Individually it will be different for each person and the same with reason 1, but as a group generalization its quite logical and common to associate older group of people with more experience.


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RE: Why Older Women? - 1/1/2013 9:21:00 AM   
MrRodgers


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Why not...any woman ?

Speaking as a slut and a whore of course. Well, ok, ok...a whore if I could be.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 1/1/2013 9:22:06 AM >

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