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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/3/2013 12:01:45 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
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~FR~

Good on ya, OP! You've already done better than that lying douchecanoe by caring enough about yourself to dump him. Now get to a therapist for your PTSD. Get yourself healthy so you don't fall into another abusive relationship.

YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!!!

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"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/3/2013 4:31:07 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

I have decided that he is not someone that I am willing to serve.

Good for you!

{{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/3/2013 7:16:33 PM

SacredDepravity

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A chickadee with her ducks in a row! I could weep with pride!

Therapist for the ptsd, doctor for the std testing not once, but multiple times over the course of the next year as things can pop up long after exposure. Take good care of you, OP. You are doing a great job so far!

SD

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/3/2013 8:46:14 PM

SimplyMichael

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Good girl!

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/4/2013 4:37:51 AM

Thaz

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Goooood Girl. You rock. That 'Master' wasnt worth spit.

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/4/2013 5:16:47 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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USING FR, for the OP:

Great, I'm glad you had the courage to get rid of him. I bet you've been thinking of doing that for some time.

Now stay strong and block him from every potential way he can contact you. Once you know he is totally blocked from your life, you know you are on the road to recovery.

Please see someone for the PTSD and please get tested for STDs -- soonest.

You really do have to investigate why you allowed him to victimize you in that way. I suspect it had much to do with him considering you 'crazy' and making you think you were extremely lucky he would even put up with you. Been there, done that, and it takes quite the emotional toll.

This can be a very supportive forum, so if you need help along the way, don't hesitate to ask for it. Many of us have made similar bad choices, have learned from it, and will at least try to help you through.

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/4/2013 5:53:11 AM

MariaB

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Joined: 4/3/2007
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Sending you a big hug.
The posts you wrote were so disturbing and the pattern of his behavior was very much that of a sociopath. He was playing you like a kitten. He didn't believe for a moment that you would leave him and I bet he's thinking your going to come crawling back any time soon. Your PTSD made you his victim. Sociopaths always look out for a victim.
You are a tough cookie to walk away like you have done. Sociopaths can be such amazing people... so loving... so supportive...so addictive. The reality is, they are just cunning, manipulative liars who only care about themselves.

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/4/2013 7:12:07 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Sending you a big hug.
The posts you wrote were so disturbing and the pattern of his behavior was very much that of a sociopath. He was playing you like a kitten. He didn't believe for a moment that you would leave him and I bet he's thinking your going to come crawling back any time soon. Your PTSD made you his victim. Sociopaths always look out for a victim.
You are a tough cookie to walk away like you have done. Sociopaths can be such amazing people... so loving... so supportive...so addictive. The reality is, they are just cunning, manipulative liars who only care about themselves.

So THIS!!!!

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/4/2013 9:09:46 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

USING FR, for the OP:

Great, I'm glad you had the courage to get rid of him. I bet you've been thinking of doing that for some time.

Now stay strong and block him from every potential way he can contact you. Once you know he is totally blocked from your life, you know you are on the road to recovery.

Please see someone for the PTSD and please get tested for STDs -- soonest.

You really do have to investigate why you allowed him to victimize you in that way. I suspect it had much to do with him considering you 'crazy' and making you think you were extremely lucky he would even put up with you. Been there, done that, and it takes quite the emotional toll.

This can be a very supportive forum, so if you need help along the way, don't hesitate to ask for it. Many of us have made similar bad choices, have learned from it, and will at least try to help you through.

This - especially the bolded part. And what MariaB said about sociopaths.

When I was in therapy after leaving my (later diagnosed) sociopathic ex husband, one of the areas we focused on was why it was OK for me to be treated that way. Frightening layers to unpeel, let me tell you, but so revealing and liberating once exposed and worked through. And it took me a long time to be able to see that. The first time my therapist told me, "At some point, you're going to have to look at your accountability in this" I very passionately told him to fuck off (to which he grinned, laughed gently, and said, "Well not today"). It's not easy stuff to face, but having come through the other side, I can't recommend it enough.

I wish you the best.

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RE: I need some advice please... - 1/16/2013 10:13:23 PM

EsotericLady

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Were you being played? Your answers are in these two paragraphs, dear. I'm so sorry this happened to you!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knightfall45

he admitted that he had been having unprotected BDSM interactions and intercourse with about 15 different people on a regular basis. And all the "work meetings" he had been going to were actually hook ups.

He told me that he had manipulated me and taken advantage of the fact that I loved him and cared for him, and repeatedly stated that he wished he had never started this relationship.

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Post #: 30