RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion?

RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (Full Version)

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TheLilSquaw -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 9:07:06 AM)
Kezzo, Slavery, true / historical slavery isn't consensual and it's not legal. What you have with your slave is her consenting to behave in a certain manner. To behave in a manner that is pleasing to YOU. That is far from the same thing as true /historical slavery. So even you aren't practicing slavery by it's truest definition. So I find it amusing that you come here and tell other's that what they practice isn't TRUE slavery. You are right, they aren't taking anyone by force nor are they forcing someone to due anything. If that is what you are doing, sorry to break it to you aren't practicing BDSM. As a US citizen, I can't give up my civil and legal rights. I can make the choice to not enforce them. I can make the choice to submit to someone else, that doesn't mean that those rights don't exist. They do, as long as I am a US citizen.

Blankpain -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 1:57:36 PM)
Slavery is what you make of it.

NuevaVida -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 3:45:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kezzo I am amazed by what I read but then we are all different a slave is a slave anything else is a different definition ,,, I do encourage her to think ,,but her thoughts are all based on what is best for ME. I like a clean tidy home ,,laundry done each day and ironed ,,,dinner ready at 7 pm breakfast at 7 am ..I go out for midday meal.. she wears what I tell her ,,,she is naked when I am home. I purchase ALL her clothes. she does not use the phone unless for emergencies. she is my slave Well I'm looking at my dictionary and def #2 says "one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence.". So what's your point? It's awesome that you have what you want in a slave. My owner wants something a bit different. See how that works? :) Personally I'm not all that attached to the word. I love him, I do what he wants, and we're happy. I don't care what someone calls that. Why do you?

tazzygirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 5:05:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I think its also important to ask.... the moment a slave says "no", is she still your slave? Well over here, the moment I say "no" (and I have, on a couple of occasions) is the moment the breaks screech and we figure out what's going wrong. Cuz, like Kana, he doesn't bat 1000% either. And his ego is not so huge as to deny the idea that he might be wrong about something. If I say no to something (other than something like, "are we out of milk?"), then that's a flag that something is wrong. Whether I'm still considered his slave in the moment or not doesn't really matter - what matters is getting us back on track in the right direction, and fixing whatever just happened. Oh, I agree with the breaks... but in that moment... when she says "no" she isnt a slave.... Im not saying the relationship is gone, trashed, beyond repair... but she (and it could just as easily be a he) is making a determination for herself, autonomously, without regard for the owner's desires/demands. I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?

NuevaVida -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 5:32:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl Oh, I agree with the breaks... but in that moment... when she says "no" she isnt a slave.... Im not saying the relationship is gone, trashed, beyond repair... but she (and it could just as easily be a he) is making a determination for herself, autonomously, without regard for the owner's desires/demands. Unless his desires/demands are for her to look out for herself when he has unintentionally failed to. quote: I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet? I know of several women who are slaves and who say no. Their masters want it that way. Ultimately, they do get to "yes," but that's how their relationships are set up. It's just not up to me to tell them they're doing it wrong. What do I get out of that, anyway?

OsideGirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 6:32:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet? Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship.

littlewonder -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 6:34:35 PM)
With Master it's easy. If I think it's going to go wrong, I explain to him why. I don't just say no. He wants to know why I think that way. Just because I say no because I'm afraid or because it will hurt or embarrass me or something not all that bad will happen, is not a reason for him. Once I give my explanation it's up to him to decide what to do with that information.

ForeverGaia -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 6:43:08 PM)
Needlesandpins - I don't think one needs to identify as a slave to ask why, that's the beauty of being part of a community; finding out what other people do and why it works for them. As to the OP's question, I disagree - I have rights within my relationship with my Owner and he wants it that way. Gaia.

tazzygirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 6:46:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet? Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship. lol... so would I. Sometimes, no is the appropriate answer. But, heaven forbid, a slave utter that word. You end up with posters like the m an I initially addressed who has the fantasy that slave means one thing and one thing only.

JeffBC -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 7:36:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I think its also important to ask.... the moment a slave says "no", is she still your slave? If used as a method to indicate her desire to not obey then yeah. If used in any of the billion and one other contexts that word comes up then no. I'm a bit unclear on whether kezzo actually has a SLAVE or not. His profile says he's currently looking for submissive women and sub/sub couples. I interpret his post to mean, "The theoretical SLAVE he doesn't have"

seekingreality -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 8:14:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet? Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship. lol... so would I. Sometimes, no is the appropriate answer. But, heaven forbid, a slave utter that word. You end up with posters like the m an I initially addressed who has the fantasy that slave means one thing and one thing only. Also, this is another of those semantic things. Some people see a word like "slave," and they get all hot and bother, imagining it can only be defined in one very narrow way. They refuse to acknowledge that even someone who identies as slave is an individual with different thoughts, needs, and requirements than someone else who uses that word to describe themselves. Heck, one person who describes themselves as "slave" might have more limits than the next person who describes themselves as "submissive." That's why it's important to focus on individuals, not titles.

littlewonder -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 8:33:23 PM)
I personally think labels are important in identifying what exactly you are. Unfortunately though, there is no consensus on the differences between certain words or much of anything. For me, a slave has no limits except for those of its Master but as you said, others see the word as meaning something else and that imo, is what causes troubles in dating on bdsm sites like this.

tazzygirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 10:39:56 PM)
I can only define myself. How someone chooses to define me makes all the difference in that relationship working. For me, thats a bonus. But that is only for me. For others, it may not be.

kezzo -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/7/2013 11:32:33 PM)
I agree with Lilwonder.... It is interesting to see that that most have their own ideas as to what slavery is. I am also amazed at how people take your opinion and feel personally affronted by it. Jeff ... I do not have a slave at present... I have been on extensive travel in europe for the last few years, but have enjoyed many casual D/s friendships on my travels of which several have become good friends... these lil stopovres are nothing like the intensity one gets from a permanent D/s relationship. Life continues nice to see so many people respond have a great day Kezzo

seekingreality -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 12:02:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I personally think labels are important in identifying what exactly you are. Unfortunately though, there is no consensus on the differences between certain words or much of anything. For me, a slave has no limits except for those of its Master but as you said, others see the word as meaning something else and that imo, is what causes troubles in dating on bdsm sites like this. The trouble is labels don't identify exactly who someone is. Labels like dominant, submissive, slave, etc. only provide broad classifications. But that's fine. Then all that matters is the person.

littlewonder -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 2:12:51 AM)
yes I know seeking, that's why I said about definitions but unfortunately, everyone has their own definitions of what those words mean since no one in bdsm seems to want to have defined words. It seems to me that over the years, bdsm has become very PC. It doesn't really matter to me really anymore since I'm now in a relationship but when I was single I found it incredibly difficult since I'm kinda "old school" and back then, yeah, slave had one definition. We all knew what it meant and what a slave is. I'm talking about in real life and not the internet. But once I became single, the bdsm dating world had changed and basically definitions for the words went out of style and any word now means whatever you want it to mean. So during that time of being single, it was hard to hook up without going round and round with definitions until you both could really figure out if something as simple as if someone is a dom, top, kink player, switch, etc....I felt like my head was swimming because I couldn't keep up anymore on what someone was and what it all actually meant. I dunno. Like I said I'm sorta old school, came about this over 15 years ago and now the world has turned PC. And ya know, it's not just bdsm anymore. lol I feel like my grandparents. [8D]

tazzygirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 8:41:53 AM)
lol.... had my first pair of handcuffs over 30 years ago... and I am still learning. People change, definitions change, I have changed. My own definitions have broadened on some things, narrowed on others, and some were just filed beneath... "Eh, whatever makes you happy"

OsideGirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 9:44:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC I'm a bit unclear on whether kezzo actually has a SLAVE or not. His profile says he's currently looking for submissive women and sub/sub couples. I interpret his post to mean, "The theoretical SLAVE he doesn't have" So, we're back to the single person telling everyone in successful relationships that we're doing it wrong.

JeffBC -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 9:50:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl So, we're back to the single person telling everyone in successful relationships that we're doing it wrong. That. But also we're back to a person who is not actually in a situation declaring how they would theoretically behave if they were yet stating it as fact. I'd be happier with such statements if they came in the form of, "When I collar my slave...." I think it's terribly misleading to people to read such assertions and have it not be clear that they are entirely theoretical. Man, I've often wished we had some sort of magical counter that would append stuff to the bottom of everyone's posting like... "never actually owned a slave" or "never made a relationship work for more than 2 years" or...

OsideGirl -> RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? (1/8/2013 9:57:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC But also we're back to a person who is not actually in a situation declaring how they would theoretically behave if they were yet stating it as fact. I'd be happier with such statements if they came in the form of, "When I collar my slave...." I think it's terribly misleading to people to read such assertions and have it not be clear that they are entirely theoretical. Man, I've often wished we had some sort of magical counter that would append stuff to the bottom of everyone's posting like... "never actually owned a slave" or "never made a relationship work for more than 2 years" or... That reminds me of a pillow my mother had while I was young: Child raising theories end with the first child. I'd love the counter idea. It would help everyone cut through the BS that some so-called experts throw about.

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