|
tazzygirl -> RE: Male victimization in modern society. (1/11/2013 2:05:05 PM)
|
quote:
I agree, my point is that many are not able to tell anyone as they have been convinced that they do not deserve help, that it is all their fault or they are to scared to, as well as a number of other ideas that might have been beaten into them. I do think people should talk about abuse if they can, and that everyone have the responsibility to ask for help if they need it and to help others if they see others in need. I am just saying that sometimes someone is in need but are unable to ask for help, and that it is not always down to personal responsibility. I am responsible for myself and finding my way out of a forest if I go to visit one, however if I break my leg I might not be able to get out on my own, no matter how much personal responsibility I take.
I disagree. That was the climate back in the 80's. No one spoke about what happened within a marriage/relationship. This day and age, with social media being the preferred mode of communication, most women in the work force, and the empowerment push for the last few decades, it doesnt have to get to that point unless the victim desires it too. Someone knows. Then its up to that someone to help.
The excuse given here is that men simply dont talk about such things. They arent "allowed" they are too "embarrassed" they feel they will be emasculated. That no one will take them seriously. This is the position women were in, in the US, in the 80's. And its now that attitude that its ok to speak out, and loudly, that some men in this thread are railing against.
quote:
Yes but here is the rub, with personal responsibility comes personal sovereignty. Nick used that sovereignty to walk away and he also choose to just drop the matter which is his right. You can not both say that people should take complete responsibility for themselves and then dictate what personal choices that person should do.
That was also in the context of him saying that no one is willing to help a man who is being abused. My response is.. help yourself. By refusing to make such a report, he is allowing that abuser to abuse the next victim. Sure, its his choice, as I clearly said. However, a paper trail in the criminal system goes a long way to making sure the next victim is more easily believed. A history of domestic violence against an abuser, even just charges, makes the police take more notice when a complaint is lodged against a specific person.
Keeping domestic violence a secret is what allowed so many to get away with it in the past.
quote:
I do not think that staying in an abusive relationship, that be physically or emotionally abusive is a good idea nor that it is healthy. However to say that you should never accept violence, I do not agree. If I am out late one night and some drunk idiot take a swing at me I am more likely to just hit him back and let the matter drop than to untold amount of time trying to get him arrested, that is just not worth it for example. I do think it is perfectly valid to just walk away from a violent situation.
This I disgree with as well. This person has an anger control issue. Coupled with am obvious drinking problem, they are more than likely to become extremely dangerous with someone. Just walking away is your option. Just dont expect me to listen to someone whine about the amount of violence caused by a drunk later on.
quote:
Not everyone manages to seek help and you can not blame them for that. Also staying because of children at least in USA there are good reasons for that if she do not have the economy to be able to afford medical aid, education and the like for her children then she might find that she have no choice but to stay with an abusive partner to be sure they have what they need.
While the system is not perfect, a woman (or man) who leaves an abusive relationship will be granted housing, medical insurance, and a slew of other assistance until they get back on their feet. To quickly be followed by child support. Staying with an abusive person for the sake of the kids, using those excuses, and just that.. excuses to allow something to continue. Reality is, sure, its tough to leave, but it is possible, and far healthier for the children to do so.
quote:
I agree however I do not think it is always the victim that is to blame if they do not manage to ask for help or get out of the bad situation they are in. I am fully in favor of personal responsibility, but to use it as a by all end all answer is not right either.
Empowerment works only so much. After the laws are set into place, after the programs are set up, after all the support that is offered... no matter what the problem/disease/issue, its up to the victim to tap into those resources. Simply throwing up one's hands and crying "No one will help me" isnt the answer.. and its not something I can agree with. Help is available... all you have to do is ask.
|
|
|
|
