RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 2:27:45 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Yeah I gotta agree with the blender. Everytime I think of juicers and what it leaves behind, aren't you losing some nutrition value like fiber?

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 2:40:40 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

When my Sir was undergoing chemo, he tired easily, so while he loved visitors, he didn't want them to stay over 5 or 10 minutes. And he didn't want to talk about his cancer. He wanted to know what the rest of the world was doing.

He was on weekly chemo, so the day after chemo he ate like a horse ( steroids and anti-nausea drugs). The second day he was down and out, then slowly came up from there. So for at least two days he didn't want to eat or see anyone.

I really like the idea of having someone come in to clean and change bed linen and do laundry. They were things i had to do in addition to working and trying to find something he could and would eat. And the less i had to do was better for him.

On the days he was stuck in bed, something to read was good. Audio books would have been good if i had thought of them. A tv in the bedroom was good. Music was something he loved and listened to .

Unscented flowers would be great - scent was a funny thing, it could make him nauseous.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 2:44:31 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

FR

This is what my dad died of so it is very serious. The surgery is the worst part. During radiation there will be burns so many creams will be out. Most aren't allowed to talk for up to 6 months AT ALL so something like dragon speak that "talks what you type" is a huge help over eraser board with marker. If you get him a bell, expect someone to deposit it in his rectum at some point...its a good idea the first day but 6 months, 180 days of ding ding every time he wants attention or needs something its becoming a butt plug!!
Dragon speak can also take care of well meaning phone calls where even hello is against orders...fair warning this is the program steven hawking uses so it does sound like a computer interpreting human speach.

Meal delivery can come from different places. Denver we have project angel heart where volunteers do shopping & errands in addition to meals on wheels type stuff. Caterers many times have small box lunch services as well as healthy tv dinner services...no idea who would do this in UK or cost.

ICU or oxygen care balloons & plants are strictly forbidden. Warm jammies, robe & footie rubber bottom socks are great for longer stay patients. Custom lap quilt was quad friends prize posession as I made it specifically short enough not to interfere with hospital bed mechanics.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 3:57:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The fact that you are thinking of this is really sweet.

With chemo, My first thought is the issues that come up from the treatment, as well as the disease. Most notably, the nausea and varying appetite. I'd be considering an assortment of pre-made soups that are just the add water type. We've got a company over here that is called Pacific Natural Foods that has everything from easy to digest broth to rich, fuller soups for when the stomach can take a little more.

Word games. Sometimes, just distraction is a good thing.

OK. I'm old. A handwritten letter or even a card is a real pick up. Something you can touch often makes a connection that you can't get from the screen.

Thank you for My smile today.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 6:16:15 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

FR

thanks again everyone for your suggestions.

Rose - thank you for mentioning plants being forbidden, I had a nagging feeling there was some rule about this. I'm sorry about you father.

As far as I know his prognosis is good, and he is under the care of one of the best cancer centres in the UK. But either way the only thing I can do to help is to try and give his spirits a boost. My heart aches that I can't be more practical help but at this distance a lot of the day to day stuff is just not realistic.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 6:22:48 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

But either way the only thing I can do to help is to try and give his spirits a boost.

And that is no small thing.

quote:

My heart aches that I can't be more practical help but at this distance a lot of the day to day stuff is just not realistic.

Good on ya for being clear-eyed about what you can do. No guilt!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 6:25:56 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Athena, everyone else has already come up with far better ideas than I. I love the cleaning and soup, smoothie, frozen treats ideas. (me, I'd be wanting dark chocolate to suck on!) Also I thought of a spa day for his wife, it's got to be a real bugger for her.

But really, the only reason I am writing is to thank you for being such a wonderful friend. I love reading stuff like this.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/5/2013 6:26:39 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/5/2013 6:36:37 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Truth be told they are really my parent's friends, but I've grown up with them and we have a relationship of our own now, if that makes sense. I have always felt I could go to them in a crisis and be helped no question, and without his wife's help with interview techniques and job advice there's no way I'd have had the career options I did. They're just great people and this feels like the very least we can do for them.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 7:01:37 AM

IceDemeter

Posts: 84
Status: offline

What a great post! Thank you for being such a good friend - just being that is the best thing that they'll want.

On a practical note, I recommend what I called my "no thought hospital bag". It's a soft sided bag that has a handle that can be attached to the bars on the side of the hospital bed so that I could reach anything in it easily. Inside were:

- a plastic shoe bag with a pair of crocs for walking around in the hospital (yes, I know - but they're easy to step in and out of, and they are easily cleanable)
- a toiletries bag with all of my favorite shampoo, toothpaste, etc.
- a 3-ring binder including note pad (to keep any paperwork they give you organized, and to take notes whenever talking to the docs) and a supply of pens
- an power bar with a really long cord, that could also be attached to the hospital bed (there's usually only one plug usable by the patient and it's always hard to get to --- it's really nice to be able to plug in your phone and your other electronics without any extra effort)
- a couple of bottles of scent-free hand sanitizer (hospitals are filthy! It's nice to be able to clean your hands at your bed)
- a bottle of scent-free moisturizer (hospital air is really dry)
- a couple of tubes of scent free lip balm
- eye shade and ear plugs (hospitals are the hardest places to sleep in)
- a couple of bags of candies or chocolates and a plastic bowl (these are to put out for the hospital staff to help themselves to --- they're incredibly hard-working people and it's nice to be able to show them some appreciation)
- chargers for any electronics
- a few puzzle books
- a container of scent free disposable moist baby wipes - wonderful to be able to give yourself a bit of a wash-down in bed when you are feeling sweaty and grubby and gross
- extra eye-glass case with cleaner (you'd be amazed at how hard it is to get your glasses clean in a hospital)
- a few rolls of extra soft toilet paper (hospital toilet paper is really thin sandpaper - and not what you want to be dealing with when having chemo side-effects!)

I kept my bag fully stocked and sitting by the door so that it could easily be grabbed on the way to the hospital or to day-chemo. It's not unusual to end up with a few emergency room runs during chemo and it was nice to always be prepared. I also had my name tagged on to everything in the bag (just in case we lost track of it somewhere along the line).

I also kept a small cooler-style lunch bag in the fridge, stocked with some juice-boxes, granola bars, candies, and nibblers. This was for my partner, for when he needed something but didn't want to leave me to go get it. This was thrown in to the main bag on the way out the door every time.

The suggestions to take care of the caregiver as well as the patient are absolutely wonderful - it'll help him feel better knowing friends are helping take care of her while he can't.

As for how to treat him - well, he's got a wife, and a house, and maybe a dog, and now a cancer --- it's just something he has, and it doesn't change who he is or how he defines himself. Treat him like your friend - joke and laugh and tease and sympathise and whatever seems right at the time. He hasn't changed, just his knowledge about his body has changed.

Best of luck to your friend, his family, and all of you who care about him as you embark on the rollercoaster...

< Message edited by IceDemeter -- 1/6/2013 7:04:22 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 7:21:30 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Demeter -thank you that was so insightful, I never would have thought of things like a power bar! I love the idea of trying to anticipate the little inconveniences he's going to face and trying to ease them.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to IceDemeter)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 7:21:45 AM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Throat cancer and chemo? Nah............

Two things, buy him a can of peaches (heavy cling syrup)......and new handkerchiefs, and some sort of bottle. Fill the bottle with water, and roll the handkerchiefs in a tube inside that bottle. Then he can suck on them when he is thirsty.

Invariably when they have throat or stomach cancer, and their stomach is upset, and throat is raging, they can get down peaches without puking (and the sugar helps the throat) and when their throat is almost closed from the burn and they will choke on water, they can suck on the handkerchief in the water in thats been refrigerated, even semi frozen sometimes.

they will prolly be tired, and so just to vacuum or pick up the mail every once in awhile, those things are good..............................

^^^^
This, if you are going the food route. Also crushed pineapple in pineapple juice and or frozen pineapple juice lollies or mini ice cubes Pineapple stimulates saliva. He will have pretty severe dry mouth syndrome.

My neighbor went through surgery, chemo and radiation for Head and Neck Cancer. He used Hash Lollipops to help with the nausea and vomiting. They soothed his throat and relieved the nausea without giing him the munchies. Not sure how pricey they are in the UK but they run about $ 7-15 each in the US, but they got him thru the chemo/rad. Was well worth the $$. When he was inpatient another neighbor and I would bring them to him in the hospital. His Docs and nurses knew he was using them to help with side effects, they were fine with it. < medical marijuana was not legal in this state at the time >

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 7:43:55 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

I appreciate the idea of the hash lollies but I'm not going to go there, his wife is in the police and it would risk her job, so that's really a decision for the two of them to make.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 8:12:06 AM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Ohhhh noooooo.
I wouldn't assume either. We got them with our neighbor's consent. He continued to get them when he was discharged and doing chemo as an outpatient. Sorry if I inferred you do it without discussing it with him.

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 8:28:23 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

*L* no I didn't think you meant I would run out and do it without asking. Just that it's a subject I'd rather not bring up myself.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 12:03:16 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: outlier

One more thing just occurred to me.

A juicer if they do not have one and a supply of fresh
veggies. Solids are going to be a problem for him.
Having a way to give his body the nutrition of spinach,
kale, etc. etc. etc. is bound to help.

Or one of those small blenders to use to make a daily
veggie smoothy.

Perhaps with a book or DVD on healthy juicing.

You don't need a juicer just a good blender will do, Vitacost has some great ones.

You can toss some kale or spinach in with some water and walla a veggie smoothie. Smoothies are a quick and easy way to get a lot of nutrition. I can give ya some recipes if you would like them.

I would also suggest organic veggies and stuff.

I am with outlier on that one...

I am one of those freaks who do at times the vegetable and fruit juices which are promoted from jason vale since years and that way I consume at times vegetables which I absolutely hate to eat....like beetroot and cucumber...and I certainly prefer the juicer to the blender in that respect....and actually....most of my stuff goes way more conveniently into the juicer than the blender...so I think its a great advice with the juicer :o)

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Nice things to do for a friend on chemo? - 1/6/2013 8:38:49 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

With the juicer check thrift or re-sale shops. Its entirely possible someone got a new one for the holidays & got rid of it as soon as family left!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Profile

Post #: 36