private vs. public

private vs. public (Full Version)

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FRANKINPIP -> private vs. public (6/19/2006 3:32:51 AM)
AS A MASTER DO YOU TREAT YOUR SUB DIFFERENTLY IN PRIVATE AS YOU DO IN PUBLIC? LIKE WHEN YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC SETTING DO YOU SWITCH TO A VANILLA LIFESTYLE AND WHEN IN PRIVATE A MASTER- SUB SCENERIO?

bandit25 -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 3:55:08 AM)
This doesn't have anything to do with the topic, but you may want to take the Caps Lock off when you post. All caps gives the impression of yelling.

IronBear -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 4:42:30 AM)
When Neet's family are about, slaves are treated as house mates. In all other occasions (other than those which include families of slaves and work situations) slaves are treated as slaves. If there is no situations which will effect the slaves as in work, I have been known to lead a slave through the local shopping mall in a leash and even taken one via public transport into the CBD of Brisbane and spent a whole day there coffeeing and shopping whilst she was on a lead.....

KnightofMists -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 4:43:25 AM)
there is always differences depending on the situation. Public Lifestyle Environment is different than a Public Non-Lifestyle Environment. Private again being different than Public events. But not matter the Environment or situation there is always the undercurrent of Authority I have over my slaves. a Hand signal here, a glance there, a quick comment can communicate lots to a slave in any situation.

dilligaf -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 5:53:00 AM)
its all in what shes looking for.she may not want it have you talked with her about it?personally taking a slave out in public on a leash is humiliating and a good way of playing with her mind but she has to want it.

FRANKINPIP -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 5:56:41 AM)
i see u have 2 slaves is that "normal" do u interact with the 2 at the same time or are they always seperate from each other? thank you for your reply

diamonddreamlove -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 7:19:49 AM)
As a sub that just had an experience over the weekend in public i thought i might add a little to this on how i felt. The Dom who is a favorite treated me with the complete respect and control that He does in private. There was no doubt in my mind the whole time we were out that i was a sub and He was the Dom. I knew His intent by his expressions, touch and hand signals and while perhaps the relationship was a bit more relaxed there was still discreat play and discipline. I am a very private person and had to overcome the need to draw within myself when i was uncomfortable that a touch would be seen by others. I also knew that to withdraw would result in immediate discipline as well and that my own need to serve and please was greater than my need to appear mainstream. A leash would have been more than my agreement with Him would have allowed and He would not push that particular issue because of His own preference not because of mine. He pushed me to be more open even as far as playing in semi public places. I think the experience which was more involved than i am writing was very much helpful in breaking down some of my newbie barriers and certainly made private more intense for me since nerves were already paying very close attention to Him, His wishes and my own desire to submit. Perhaps i would not wish to do this with a Dom i did not have trust in, however again i don't play if i don't have some high level of trust in the Dom's control of Himself and me.

ownedgirlie -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 7:27:30 AM)
I am always his slave and treated as such, whether in public or in private. Sure I'm not crawling around on all fours in public restaurants (yet, lol), but he has no qualms commanding me, quite loudly, to "Heel!" when in public (as what happened last Friday night), or to pull me to him by a body part if he so desires, or call me by any name he chooses. There is nothing subtle about him, that's for sure. Yet at the same time, if there are children about, NO displays of sexual or questionable conduct are displayed, yet he is still absolutely in control.

BitaTruble -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 8:51:59 AM)
I am treated as he deems appropriate for any given situation. Celeste

IronBear -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 8:54:39 AM)
Of course in Gorean relationships A Gorean Master will do exactly what he decides to do with his slave.

Bearlee -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 8:59:44 AM)
For me…CONSENT is a huge issue. And…I take the consent of the general public to heart. Generally speaking the general public does NOT want to see bits of BDSM paraded around in front of their kids. I believe in being true to who you are and what you do. Like what KoM said…there IS a way to keep D/s alive and well in a public setting without bothering the vanilla’s who may be about. Still, it can be fun to go into the public venue keeping private some ‘secret’ BDSM kink or humiliation you wish to play with. Visiting a club…which could be considered a ‘public place’…in that it isn’t your private home…is a whole different story to me, though. MOO…MNSHO; YMMV… bearlee

TxBadMan -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 9:35:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FRANKINPIP AS A MASTER DO YOU TREAT YOUR SUB DIFFERENTLY IN PRIVATE AS YOU DO IN PUBLIC? LIKE WHEN YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC SETTING DO YOU SWITCH TO A VANILLA LIFESTYLE AND WHEN IN PRIVATE A MASTER- SUB SCENERIO? I treat my girls however I feel like treating them at the time, public or private, matters not.

Wulfchyld -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 9:39:25 AM)
I despise vulgar displays of public domination. You know your the dominant, no point in convincing the nilla world they will just assume you are an abusive asshole. Grrrr.... stupid typos!

MistressSassy66 -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 9:55:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FRANKINPIP AS A MASTER DO YOU TREAT YOUR SUB DIFFERENTLY IN PRIVATE AS YOU DO IN PUBLIC? LIKE WHEN YOU ARE IN A PUBLIC SETTING DO YOU SWITCH TO A VANILLA LIFESTYLE AND WHEN IN PRIVATE A MASTER- SUB SCENERIO? As a Mistress I expect best behavior in public while being more relaxed at home,but I can still be rather demanding even at home alone and expect bishop to make Me proud when there is company.

mstrjx -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 12:44:03 PM)
I'm with Bearlee on this one. Taking the leash as an example, if the public location is enough that children are apt to see, the dominant is not the one to have to try to explain to the child what it was that they just saw. Collars are a lesser example, although there I think there is a lot of interpretation. Even for myself, I'm mentally trying to devise a functional collar that even the tamest of submissives/slaves wouldn't have trouble wearing in public. I suppose in the end it will be custom made, but that's my goal. (Matching bracelet and possibly more, as well.) As far as behavioral D/s in public, I have found that I can do or say a lot that is not noticed, or isn't in bad taste. But to sum it up, the public is a consent issue.

Taylore -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 1:01:20 PM)
This slave is treated however Master decides that I am to be treated. There have been times that he has treated me as a perfect lady in public, and others that he has treated me as nothing more than his whore. The same can be said for in private.

Estring -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 1:10:22 PM)
I guess it would depend upon the situation. She wears a metal ring around her neck at all times, so in that respect her slavery is always evident to those who would recognize it, but I do have to treat her differently in certain public situations (with family for instance). But more importantly, she is always mindful of her place and treats me respectfully in all situations.

amayos -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 2:17:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FRANKINPIP [Do you treat your submissive differently in private as opposed to in public?] This would depend on the scenario involved. Generally, I do not display my dominance so gratuitously in public, unless a specific situation demands it. I enjoy the subtle indicators, such as a girl staying "at heel" while I walk, mildly scolding her, seeing that she follows commands, or her open deferment to me in making her own decisions. I certainly dictate the way she dresses and presents herself in public, as well as how she is to behave overall, but I am sensitive and respectful to those who are not of like mind who surround me, and it is only proper to be so in the company of current society. This does not mean, however, that I will not quickly take her somewhere away from the crowd to slap her hard if I am so inspired.

IronBear -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 2:59:25 PM)
Irrespective of other things like leashes, any slave on an outing withme can expect to follow reasonable protocols such as modified serves when there is no table service at a coffee house. I rarely expect a girl to kneel beside me but have been known to do so as a matter of training or to reinforce her slavery when she has stepped over the line. Regarding your comments about children seeing a girl in a leash being led in a publis place, or for that matter some straight laces adult being offended, for me these are collatteral damage. In every part of my life, I refues to be dictated by any fear of offending the general public. They in fact offend me mostly with their attitudes and behaviour. Seeing the amout of alternative people and differing forms of dress and behavioyur from the younger folk seeing a girl on a leash is not so outlandish. Common sence dictates that one has to be a little selective and not go overboard though.... With the girl I did lead in public shopping etc both in the local shopping mall and into the city.. The pripary object was for her well being. This particular lass was prone to serious panic attacks when in public and a fear of any crowd. having her leashed was the result of some experimentatiuon and the leash was what worked on a psychological basis as it allowed her to accompany us and yet have a physical link to me and thus her fear of getting hopelessly lost was removed... Whilst I will rarely set out to disrupt mundane mindsets, I will not bend to what they think (those who can) people should wear or act.. Strangely in both the cases i refered to regarding leashing in my earlier post, all but one of the comments made directly to us were praisworthy or just complementary.. The other comment was made by a Born again Pastor who was running a market stall in oyur local weekly markets for the local Vietnam vets and all he asked if what we were doing was legal. When told that it was and the slave explained it was consencual slavery his reply was to the effect that most of the young hotheads ad miscreants should spend a year or two collared to Gorean masters and taken out in public in a heavy chain leash..... The point is, I will do exactly what I chose to do 99% of the time without breaching local regulations. From a local community perspective, I have a far greater support than I have people wanting me to bugger off.....It's not what they see me doing but how I personally treat them that is important.

missturbation -> RE: private vs. public (6/19/2006 3:06:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear I have been known to lead a slave through the local shopping mall in a leash and even taken one via public transport into the CBD of Brisbane and spent a whole day there coffeeing and shopping whilst she was on a lead..... I make no apologies here but i take issue with this. If i had have been out shopping with my child that day and saw you with you r slave on a leash i would have been appalled. I would also have spoken with you about time and place. Before you jump down my throat and say freedom of expression - im sorry but there are clubs etc designed for public play / humiliation. I personally love being on collar and lead but think it is very selfish not to take the general publics feelings into account before parading your slave in front of them.

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