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RE: Being a slave and a parent - 3/18/2013 8:05:52 PM

DesFIP

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Apparently Ishtarr also believes a slave can't have any job delegated to them, including the power to accomplish it.

I'm The Man's. My kids didn't sign up for this. Any guy who demanded they submit to him was a guy I blocked immediately.

But not being an idiot, The Man didn't demand control over things he knew he'd make a hash of. That included the dog, since he's always had cats. The horses, since he was nervous around them. And a kid with multiple mood disorders when he knew damn well he wasn't able to make the right call in a split second when necessary. Which in the early days was necessary all too frequently.

Now, step-parenting is an issue all to itself. Try to pretend you're the parent and you will destroy the relationship. Acknowledge the fact that you can be a friend, an uncle, another loving family member and eventually they will grow to think of you as their parent. But it comes in their time, not yours. You cannot demand love and respect, you must earn it.

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RE: Being a slave and a parent - 3/19/2013 11:51:46 AM

SacredDepravity

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This is about children submitting to some "master" and the slave not having the basic powers necessary within the household to accomplish the task of child rearing???? Are we through the looking glass or something?

There is a degree of heirarchy in any family, but when it comes down to it ANY adult given the duty of care for the children are in charge. That is a non negotiable. The adults function in authority over children to keep them safe and teach them right from wrong as well as the consequences of their behavior. This has NOTHING to do with BDSM dynamics. I had a boss that tried to do this once. Gave me a position of authority, but then told me I had to function in a way that gave the impression a co worker under my supervision was in charge. It didn't work. Seriously? I need the tools necessary to do my job be it in a workplace or within my home.

As for the "master" having the kids submitting to him, I expect my children to treat any adult with respect and obey their wishes and to report to us if they believe there is reason for them to not obey and respect a given adult in their lives. That has no kinky connotation whatsoever either. We can't go around taking adults on a case by case basis with the children all the time. They MUST respect law enforcement, teachers, coaches, adult group leaders, etc. They without exception MUST respect us and any caretaker we assign to them including the authority of another child's parents when visiting at their home. How is "master" any different under this code? And the same things are reportable about him as about any other adult. I want to know if the adult ever acts out in anger, acts out sexually, is ever drunk around my child, is ever on drugs around my child, harms my child intentionally, puts down my child, or sets some other bad example or does any other form of harm to my child. NOTHING changes with some "master". I have a duty of care for my child that I simply will not shirk and I am sure there are many local, state, and federal agencies that are more than help me remember that I am not allowed to shrug off if I should lose my mind and forget. Again, how is all this even a question again?

My head hurts now. Bye bye.

SD

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RE: Being a slave and a parent - 3/19/2013 1:14:26 PM

LafayetteLady

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Well, that's the whole point, isn't it?

Being a parent and slave are not mutually exclusive positions. To say that it isn't possible would also mean that it isn't possible to be a slave and hold down a job outside the home, because the slave would then be under the authority of their boss, not their master.

My point was, and remains, that the person who made that comment has some serious issues regarding taking on a parental role and really shouldn't be given the authority to do so, regardless of whether she be sub, slave, dominant, or puppy.

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RE: Being a slave and a parent - 3/19/2013 1:24:57 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
My point was, and remains, that the person who made that comment has some serious issues regarding taking on a parental role and really shouldn't be given the authority to do so, regardless of whether she be sub, slave, dominant, or puppy.

I'm not so sure I agree with that but then again I have back story with Ishtar so I know a bit more. What I do know tells me that her concept of "slave" gets wrapped up in a bajillion different things that have nothing to do with obedience or authority and frankly I do not understand. It's a viewpoint I've only ever seen among a limited segment of Goreans. I've tried to get Aswad to help explain it to me but I think he's nearly as confused as I am about the whole thing. At this point I've given up until I get to have coffee with her in a living room somewhere and we can sort it out.

But honestly I doubt this has to do with her parenting abilities. I, at least, would trust her to watch my kids of any age without hesitation. I just think there's this inexplicable [to me] definition of "slave" in her head.

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RE: Being a slave and a parent - 3/19/2013 8:19:27 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
My point was, and remains, that the person who made that comment has some serious issues regarding taking on a parental role and really shouldn't be given the authority to do so, regardless of whether she be sub, slave, dominant, or puppy.

I'm not so sure I agree with that but then again I have back story with Ishtar so I know a bit more. What I do know tells me that her concept of "slave" gets wrapped up in a bajillion different things that have nothing to do with obedience or authority and frankly I do not understand. It's a viewpoint I've only ever seen among a limited segment of Goreans. I've tried to get Aswad to help explain it to me but I think he's nearly as confused as I am about the whole thing. At this point I've given up until I get to have coffee with her in a living room somewhere and we can sort it out.

But honestly I doubt this has to do with her parenting abilities. I, at least, would trust her to watch my kids of any age without hesitation. I just think there's this inexplicable [to me] definition of "slave" in her head.

Actually, I know quite a bit of the back story as well. And it did play a part in my response.

And yes, I do have serious doubts about her parenting abilitites, and certainly would never leave my grandchild alone with her for any length of time. My granddaughter is extremely bright, but much like her husband's son, in that she is easily distracted and has trouble focusing. I would not want her to be traumatized in the way she is likely traumatizing that child. Certainly, we can have different opinions on the matter, but that is mine, and I do stick to it.

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Post #: 45