Five reasons you dont want to _________

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Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/15/2013 2:07:56 PM

jlf1961

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5 Reasons You Don't Really Want to Date a Cheerleader

They can scream loud enough to be heard over the din of a football game, and they can sustain that yelling for more than two hours. Great in a stadium; suckfest at home.
All that flexibility and stretching to seemingly-impossible extremes is sexy, right? When you blow up a balloon, will it ever go back to its original size, or does it remain a bit... stretched out? Think about it.
Cheerleaders are popular and the popular kids are usually the primary targets during shooting sprees. Hang with the AV Club and live to get laid past your teenage years.
Cheerleading is like gymnastics. It's a disciplined sport that requires hours of training every day, but it's not a sustainable sport you can do all your life. What happens when a serious athelete stops working out? All together now: They. Get. Fat. Just like all the rest of the population, cheerleaders get older and fatter with each passing year.
Have you ever watched the cheer squad come running out, jumping and squealing and doing absolutely everything in a pack? Yeah. That doesn't translate to the bedroom. She doesn't bring all her friends, and they don't clap and cheer enthusiastically for your performance.

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RE: Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/20/2013 10:34:44 PM

Jewelcrafter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

5 Reasons You Don't Really Want to Date a Cheerleader

They can scream loud enough to be heard over the din of a football game, and they can sustain that yelling for more than two hours. Great in a stadium; suckfest at home.

Solution: Ball gag.

quote:

All that flexibility and stretching to seemingly-impossible extremes is sexy, right? When you blow up a balloon, will it ever go back to its original size, or does it remain a bit... stretched out? Think about it.

Oh but the positions you could tie her in.

quote:

Cheerleaders are popular and the popular kids are usually the primary targets during shooting sprees. Hang with the AV Club and live to get laid past your teenage years.

Date a college cheerleader? Could probably avoid prison that way.

quote:

Cheerleading is like gymnastics. It's a disciplined sport that requires hours of training every day, but it's not a sustainable sport you can do all your life. What happens when a serious athelete stops working out? All together now: They. Get. Fat. Just like all the rest of the population, cheerleaders get older and fatter with each passing year.

Don't give them a ring. Maybe they won't get lazy? Or have lots of money and keep a few around?

quote:

Have you ever watched the cheer squad come running out, jumping and squealing and doing absolutely everything in a pack? Yeah. That doesn't translate to the bedroom. She doesn't bring all her friends, and they don't clap and cheer enthusiastically for your performance.

Oh, you're actually into the good girl. Then she's probably not all that popular because she's not a slut and therefore the above issues are moot.

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RE: Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/20/2013 11:55:13 PM

jlf1961

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From: Somewhere Texas
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Actually I was hoping people could come up with other lists.

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Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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RE: Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/21/2013 12:01:17 AM

Jewelcrafter

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I'm sure someone will come by with more reasons. My answers were meant to be jokes anyway. I can't come up with more than a couple and they're not that funny.

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RE: Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/21/2013 12:02:21 AM

EsotericLady

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LMAO And this is a topic because.................?

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

5 Reasons You Don't Really Want to Date a Cheerleader

They can scream loud enough to be heard over the din of a football game, and they can sustain that yelling for more than two hours. Great in a stadium; suckfest at home.
All that flexibility and stretching to seemingly-impossible extremes is sexy, right? When you blow up a balloon, will it ever go back to its original size, or does it remain a bit... stretched out? Think about it.
Cheerleaders are popular and the popular kids are usually the primary targets during shooting sprees. Hang with the AV Club and live to get laid past your teenage years.
Cheerleading is like gymnastics. It's a disciplined sport that requires hours of training every day, but it's not a sustainable sport you can do all your life. What happens when a serious athelete stops working out? All together now: They. Get. Fat. Just like all the rest of the population, cheerleaders get older and fatter with each passing year.
Have you ever watched the cheer squad come running out, jumping and squealing and doing absolutely everything in a pack? Yeah. That doesn't translate to the bedroom. She doesn't bring all her friends, and they don't clap and cheer enthusiastically for your performance.

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RE: Five reasons you dont want to __________ - 1/21/2013 5:14:07 AM

Moonhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Actually I was hoping people could come up with other lists.

Probably a bit too much effort for most, sadly.

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