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Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 12:50:29 PM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

I am getting ready to move this next weekend (if nothing else happens) to be with my Sir. We have never met..and I am a bit nervous. Not about Him.. I know with Him I am very safe...but about starting over..and leaving my family and such behind..I grew up around here..and haven't lived anyplace else. I am packing and sorting..and just trying to keep myself as busy as possible.. to try to calm my nerves..but nothing is really helping with it.

I guess this could apply to anyone moving to their Sir.. whether they had met or not....

How did you calm those fears and jitters....and keep from going a bit nutty while you waited??

He isn't cutting me off from anyone.. nor stopping any of my interests..so there isn't any fear on that part.. it's just the normal.... I am moving a few states away in a matter of days and I just want to throw-up part.

Thanks, Ticia

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

Post #: 1

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 12:51:41 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

You have never met, and yet, you are moving to be with him?

Ok

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 2

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 12:58:27 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I never met my Dom until I moved in with him. We both moved from our homes to a new state and we were both very nervous and excited. Just try to breathe and remember why your doing this. Make sure to take what you really love and dump the rest. It's just stuff and we have found it to be a blast to build a home together with new stuff that had no emotional ties. Best of luck!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 3

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 12:58:27 PM

carolsea

Posts: 185
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

If you are that nervous about it, and if you have to put it out here for scrutiny, then there must be some question in your mind other than how to get rid of the jitters.

No, you're not asking to be judged by posting this here, and I wish you all the happiness in the world, but just be prepared for the barrage. I think you are asking the wrong question.

Carolsea

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 4

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 12:58:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Given that you've made your choice and that's not going to go back now no matter what I say- I'd say you should be crazy with packing and plans, you should be going out to all the restaurants and visiting all the people you won't have as easy access to when you move.

If you don't have a job in your new area and your master expects you to work, then send out about 5 resumes per day. Research your new area, what are the good places to hang out? Clubs? Restaurants to try? Is there a hobby group nearby that you can start to hang out in?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 5

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:11:53 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Wow, talk about taking a huge risk.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:31:19 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I agree it does seem like a risk but you seem very sure of your Sir so i would just say stay busy. Lucky gave you a lot of good advice also. I wish you much luck and happiness.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 7

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:31:21 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

I can't say that as a dominant, I'd allow a slave to relocate without having at least MET me. That'd be a risk that I would want to control myself, not leave to the universe.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 8

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:42:44 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

I trust you have planned for you success as well as you can. Have you planned in the event of failure as well?

If you have and after ongoing communication your shared you've determined your goals are compatible, enjoy your adventure! If not, I hope you have a history and have enough self confidence to make the correct life altering decisions on the fly with no outside support; and you can still enjoy the adventure.

My hope is that you know yourself intimately so you can answer your own concerns with honest objectivity.

GOOD LUCK!

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 9

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:44:03 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I echo everyone elses concern of not ever meeting.

My question would be how much is this truly about living with the person and how much of this is for the excitement and adventure of doing something drastic in your life? A kind of now or never type thought.

My only advice is to have some money saved up that he cannot touch so you do not get trapped.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 10

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 1:47:31 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I didn't know that you hadn't met. Jeez... well, good luck. I agree with Mercnbeth, tho, make sure you have some sort of contingency plan.

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 11

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 2:11:24 PM

zero69u2

Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ticia,
I'd definately want to meet before loading up the dishes and furniture and moving in with someone. I took 2 years of dating with one and long road to realize i did'nt want to move. Not that any of us in the forums could talk you out of your decision. I've seen some of these long distance move in's workout but they all met each other before packing up the car and hauling themselves 2000 miles to be with each other.

There is no speedy way to love expressway. its a long road of dating and finding out the person's personality. I guess this will all workout great but your taking chances and great risks. Is the distance to far for casual get together before loading up the u-haul ?

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 12

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 2:16:01 PM

SweetSlaveGirl

Posts: 20
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

I have to agree, watch your ass...in otherwords, have a back up plan.
I know how people can go from nicey nicey, to complete and utter satan once they get you in in a house all to yourselves. My late husband was that kind. Fine around other people, fine while we shared a house with another couple, BUT a complete and utter abusive asshole after we'd found a place all to ourselves. I was also pregnant too with our first child. It wasn't a BDSM relationship, it was vanilla.

Just make sure others that you trust have your number, address, name of your new master, and make sure you keep contact with these people. If master says you cannot do this anymore, then those are red flags. You can also tell him they have orders to call the police and send help if they don't hear from you by "so n so" times every month, week, whathave you. But I'd only use that if he tries the "you are not allowed contact anyone you know, ever" crap.

Have money saved away, where he can't get to it at all no matter what he says. That way, if you have to flee you have money to do so.

< Message edited by SweetSlaveGirl -- 6/19/2006 2:22:49 PM >

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 13

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 2:42:37 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisTicia

I am getting ready to move this next weekend (if nothing else happens) to be with my Sir. We have never met..and I am a bit nervous. Not about Him.. I know with Him I am very safe...but about starting over..and leaving my family and such behind..I grew up around here..and haven't lived anyplace else. I am packing and sorting..and just trying to keep myself as busy as possible.. to try to calm my nerves..but nothing is really helping with it.

I guess this could apply to anyone moving to their Sir.. whether they had met or not....

How did you calm those fears and jitters....and keep from going a bit nutty while you waited??

He isn't cutting me off from anyone.. nor stopping any of my interests..so there isn't any fear on that part.. it's just the normal.... I am moving a few states away in a matter of days and I just want to throw-up part.

Thanks, Ticia

Firsly you are moving a few states to be with a man you have never met? Crazy.
You know you are safe? How do you know this if you have never met?
The fears and jitters should be the last thing on your mind. What if you move there and he is not what he seems?
Please please rethink this.
If you go though i wish you all the luck in the world - you may need it!!

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 14

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:01:09 PM

Taylore

Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

I moved to Texas from California 3 months ago to be near Master ( we do not live together though, something we both agreed upon ). However, I would never have contemplated such a move without first meeting him in person.

Like many have said, it is important to have a backup plan in place. Money of your own. A job of your own, outside the relationship. Without these things, you could become trapped in something that you do not want to be trapped in.

_____________________________

Taylore

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 15

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:08:40 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lisa1978
My only advice is to have some money saved up that he cannot touch so you do not get trapped.

Absolutely fantastic advice. I think I recall hearing Master Steve Sampson talk about his requirement of a slave coming to him with a $10K account only in the slave's name in the event of something unfortunate -- that could include his death, their separation, or some other unforseen disaster.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 16

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:21:56 PM

vessel111

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

sweetslavegirl, I couldn't agree with you more.
I have been there and done that. My exboyfriend lived with a month and then I told him he had to go. I told I didn't care where he went as long as he got of my house. He wasn't abusive. He was just a liar. He was controlling and not in a good way.

As for me I wouldn't move to be with someone unless we have spent some offline time together. As it has been suggested I would spend more than just a weekend with them also.

Good Luck Ticia...trust your gut instinct.

(in reply to SweetSlaveGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:29:43 PM

sabswife

Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

wow i didnt realize you hadnt met either, you are much braver then i am. there is no way to help those jitters that i know of-- the first time i met Sab i was shaking so hard i had to put my coffee down because i kept spilling it all over my hand.

all i can say is good luck and like others have said-- be sure to have a back up plan, just in case :)

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."

(in reply to vessel111)

Post #: 18

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:31:49 PM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

be very, very careful you haven't sold everything and cut all ties at first. a dear friend of mine moved here to marry a girl he'd met online but had been with offline for five years, long distance, and met offline many times, even lived with for short periods. she backed out. he was deported (he lives in england). he had sold everything - his car, everything. just be careful.

and...really honestly go through what you have and let go of things you don't need/don't use. i'm a bit of a packrat...moving for me was a great experience, because i don't even have storage space where i live now, so i had to get rid of all my extraneous stuff. (this was moving on my own - i have not yet moved in with my dominant, we are waiting awhile before that happens though we live about 10 minutes apart.) focus on moving being a cleansing experience. make packing a meditation. maybe that will help you to be calmer :)

and i'm with la...GO SEE PEOPLE! go to restaurants that are unique to where you live, and local coffee shops, and have fun doing the things you can only do where you are. :)

*hugs* good luck to you.

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 19

RE: Moved without meeting?? - 6/19/2006 3:49:32 PM

trippingdaisy

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Okay...

i'm not going to reiterate what everyone else has already. :)

i can, however, tell you that what you're feeling is totally normal.

When i moved away from my home state (Oregon), i was leaving -everything- behind. Family, friends, everything. i was going to Arizona to move in with some friends, because i knew that if i stayed in Oregon, i'd end up back in the relationship i'd just left.

That being said....it's easier than you'd think. i got super homesick sometimes, but the key is keeping in contact with the people that you know, so they can help you feel better. Also, the busier you are in your new home, the better it'll be. :)

i wish you luck!

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 20

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