RE: Moved without meeting??

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MisPandora -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/21/2006 12:02:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fullofgrace quote: ORIGINAL: MisPandora This was not for him to touch, and his name was not anywhere on the account. It was for the slave's protection when someone was moving across the country to be in service to him. If he dies -- that slave gets nothing, BY LAW. Think about it. if s/he is expressly listed as a beneficiary of a life insurance policy (and in most cases as a beneficiary in the will), in the majority of the united states (don't know about everywhere, but definitely in florida), then s/he is legally entitled to said benefits. when my dad died, he didn't have a will and i wasn't listed on his life insurance policy, therefore i got nothing; when my mom died, i was listed (along with my sister) on one of her policies, and the insurance company sent me a check - it didn't go through a third party. so as long as the dominant is responsible enough to have his affairs in order in these matters, that shouldn't be an issue. How many people have their personal affairs in order? We're talking people who can't update a personal ad on the internet to say they're no longer available, or pick the right word (dominate vs dominant) to use in a sentence! We're expecting them to have changed over all of the wills, insurance policies, etc....? Even after two and a half years of my fiancee and I living together, we still had separate bank accounts and familial beneficiaries to the life insurance plans. My boy was a cop, and that surely increased the chance for him to lose his life or ability to take care of himself. And we were a progressive couple that had living wills with DNR orders and things like that. Unfortunately, the law doesn't shine that friendly upon ALL of our brothers and sisters in leather. If you've not caught my meaning yet, there are male slaves that have been left out in the cold with nothing when a Master unexpectedly died. International Leather Sir has been doing an educational campaign on getting your legal affairs together for you and your partners in leather -- www.leathersir.com, follow the news area.

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/21/2006 1:34:30 PM)
Judemental....yeah ok... I think so too..so what the hell.... I'll say it... I think you're fucking crazy. To up and move lock stock and barrel... without ever metting this dom? <Shakes head> It makes no matter how long you been talking to this dom via internet.. phone.. MEET FIRST! Hell I'll even say meet once... then move... that's too soon... but better than never meeting before.

HisTicia -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/21/2006 3:36:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe Judemental....yeah ok... I think so too..so what the hell.... I'll say it... I think you're fucking crazy. To up and move lock stock and barrel... without ever metting this dom? <Shakes head> It makes no matter how long you been talking to this dom via internet.. phone.. MEET FIRST! Hell I'll even say meet once... then move... that's too soon... but better than never meeting before. Do you feel better now? I am glad that in some way I could help you take out your anger and hostility so that others around you can have a happier evening. That is what we are here for right? To help each other..give advice and opinions..discuss back and forth..agree and not agree. This makes me feel I have done my job for the day then. I always love how others tell ppl how fucked up their lives are..when I am sure you like most others..have some pretty fucked up skeletons in your closet also. It's a shame that I cannot be as perfect as you are... it must be a huge burden that you bare.. though I am sure you do your very best to handle it. Next time that anyone I know has a problem.. or a question..and needs help with it.. I will be sure and direct them to you.. because I know that you will give them the kind love and support that they need..and not treat them as if they are complete lunatics. I have always.. all the way throughout this post.. tried to be kind..and appreciative to others... I don't bad mouth..maybe sarcastic at times..but that is my personality in general. I have not always gotten that back..but want to always stay the respectful person that not only I was raised to be...but that would make Sir proud of me. Maybe that is the problem.. I am not a good target for those like you..because I don't let you get to me..and I take the higher road..if so..I am proud to take that for another that maybe couldn't take it as well as I have. You see...you really don't know me.. you don't know anything really I have dealt with..just skims off of the top here and there... so.. to think that I would crumble because a few bad words were said...well..you are very much off of the mark. Not one tear has been shed... not one sleepless night.. maybe an amused smirk here and there... or something to devote my mind to..rather than what goes in this box or that...but.. that's pretty much it. The thing I have noticed in all of this.. is on the other side.. I have received emails of support...and do you know why? Because they don't want to come here and show it..in the fear they might be attacked..not that I blame them. So for every one like you... there has been someone that helped me along.. or gave encouraging words.. or even went thru the same thing.. to have it go great. You can judge all you want.. that's not really any of my business.. if that is what makes you feel better in life.. I wish you the best of luck in finding and staying happy.. because.. I have no doubt you will need it. I thank everyone for their love and support..and even advice...but... now that my moving date is upon me.. it is time for me to bow out very gracefully from this post.. though.. if you feel the need to judge..and take things out on someone.. please feel free to use this post.. though I won't read it.. it might give you the happy's again..and I would never dream of depriving you of that. To all posters.. I do very much appreciate all of your words..here and the other side.. you have given me things to think about..and actually in some ways helped confirm more my decision..it's funny how having to answer for something time after time does that. Even though only some of you gave me ideas on how to cope with major change...(the op question, by the way)..in a way you all did.. because this gave me something to occupy my jeebies with in between packing boxes...and cardboard cuts..and for that.. I am grateful. I am sure I will be around here..and we will all meet in other posts.. probably already have....and sometimes we will actually (don't faint) agree..and sometimes we won't..but that is the thing I like about the CM boards..that even when that happens... we can all be adults and know that in the end...none of us knows everything...and everyone comes to things with different views and ideas...even if we think the other is wrong.. we still respect the opinion they give. That my friends.. is maturity..and I look forward to more of it. Best wishes, His Ticia

scraginagco -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/21/2006 3:38:40 PM)
Hi, I just wanted to share my experience of moving. Although the reason for moving was not relationship based, I think it still has a fair degree of relevance. I had lived in a mid-sized city up until the age of 49, and at that point figured on pushin' up daisies there. All my friends were there...I was very attached and comfy...then, this weird job came up in another (BIG) city. Due to circumstances not worth mentioning here, I had to take it. I left my family "back home" and boarded in the new city during the week, and commuted home on weekends. Eventually the family moved here too. It was a weird experience getting lost while going to work - finding some store that you needed and then not being able to find it again...or the people. I kept looking at the faces of the people for those I knew back home...of course, they weren't there. Also, abandoning those from the old place is hard on them too - some kept asking when we were going to move back... And then, times change back home...the place you left is not there any more, it has evolved, it doesn't feel the same any more when you go back to visit. I won't lie to you - it's been hard and lonely at times, because forming the kind of friendships we had back home, especially at my age, takes a lot of time. We've been here 4 1/2 years now, and the advice we have to give is... Don't Look Back...Look Forward!!! Life is not lived backwards. Once you make a decision, grasp it, look on the positive side of things...and THINGS WILL WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! That will be $35 please. lol Scraginagco & dawn_slave

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/21/2006 8:24:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HisTicia Do you feel better now? I am glad that in some way I could help you take out your anger and hostility so that others around you can have a happier evening. That is what we are here for right? To help each other..give advice and opinions..discuss back and forth..agree and not agree. This makes me feel I have done my job for the day then. I always love how others tell ppl how fucked up their lives are..when I am sure you like most others..have some pretty fucked up skeletons in your closet also. It's a shame that I cannot be as perfect as you are... it must be a huge burden that you bare.. though I am sure you do your very best to handle it. Next time that anyone I know has a problem.. or a question..and needs help with it.. I will be sure and direct them to you.. because I know that you will give them the kind love and support that they need..and not treat them as if they are complete lunatics. I have always.. all the way throughout this post.. tried to be kind..and appreciative to others... I don't bad mouth..maybe sarcastic at times..but that is my personality in general. I have not always gotten that back..but want to always stay the respectful person that not only I was raised to be...but that would make Sir proud of me. Maybe that is the problem.. I am not a good target for those like you..because I don't let you get to me..and I take the higher road..if so..I am proud to take that for another that maybe couldn't take it as well as I have. You see...you really don't know me.. you don't know anything really I have dealt with..just skims off of the top here and there... so.. to think that I would crumble because a few bad words were said...well..you are very much off of the mark. Not one tear has been shed... not one sleepless night.. maybe an amused smirk here and there... or something to devote my mind to..rather than what goes in this box or that...but.. that's pretty much it. The thing I have noticed in all of this.. is on the other side.. I have received emails of support...and do you know why? Because they don't want to come here and show it..in the fear they might be attacked..not that I blame them. So for every one like you... there has been someone that helped me along.. or gave encouraging words.. or even went thru the same thing.. to have it go great. You can judge all you want.. that's not really any of my business.. if that is what makes you feel better in life.. I wish you the best of luck in finding and staying happy.. because.. I have no doubt you will need it. I thank everyone for their love and support..and even advice...but... now that my moving date is upon me.. it is time for me to bow out very gracefully from this post.. though.. if you feel the need to judge..and take things out on someone.. please feel free to use this post.. though I won't read it.. it might give you the happy's again..and I would never dream of depriving you of that. To all posters.. I do very much appreciate all of your words..here and the other side.. you have given me things to think about..and actually in some ways helped confirm more my decision..it's funny how having to answer for something time after time does that. Even though only some of you gave me ideas on how to cope with major change...(the op question, by the way)..in a way you all did.. because this gave me something to occupy my jeebies with in between packing boxes...and cardboard cuts..and for that.. I am grateful. I am sure I will be around here..and we will all meet in other posts.. probably already have....and sometimes we will actually (don't faint) agree..and sometimes we won't..but that is the thing I like about the CM boards..that even when that happens... we can all be adults and know that in the end...none of us knows everything...and everyone comes to things with different views and ideas...even if we think the other is wrong.. we still respect the opinion they give. That my friends.. is maturity..and I look forward to more of it. Best wishes, His Ticia All this because I didn't sugar coat my response and tell you what you wanted to see like most others have? Oh Hell...THANK YOU!

HayaSierra -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 12:26:50 AM)
Good luck to both of you. Now as for the jitters, that is very hard, even in most normal and short moves. Moving is stressy. I have moved everything from down the street, to across states to overseas. Leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar is always a little nerve-wreking. This is normal. Then there is the extra work. Packing. Sorting. Saying good-byes. Taking down addresses and phone numbers. Walking past familiar places and finding yourself knowing that you will miss them. Wondering if they have one of THOSE in the new area. Best advice I can give is to relax. Pray. Meditate. Make sure you sleep enough and eat enough. A good soaking bath can't hurt either. Call your Master and talk to him. See your friends and family. Go to that one favorite restaurant one more time. Look ahead. Research the new area online. Ask your Master about it. Have him tell you about some of the places and things to do and perhaps plan out a few things for you to look forward to. Look at the stars, they'll still be the same even in the new place. :). Take a few favorite trinkets and pictures and after you move put them into your living space. Get some decorations and things with your Master after you arrive and start building a future together. And above all, remember, while moving is nerve-wreking, stressy, and up the wall driving you bonkers -- it is done by millions of people every year, all over the world; and many of them settle in fairly quickly, forgetting these jitters were ever in existance in the first place.

ray64 -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 3:22:25 AM)
Moving has it's own anxiety's and they are quite normal. With all due respect, moving in with anyone without meeting them is asking for trouble. Without meeting someone in person you have no way of getting a read on them. Facial expressions, how they react physically are all very important. While you didn't say what type of contact you had phone, e-mail etc., people today can say they are anything or represent themselves in a most dishonest manner and do so regularly. Be Careful and I wish YOU the best.

bandit25 -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 3:32:23 AM)
Good luck ticia. Please let us know how you are doing.

brightspot -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 4:45:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe Judemental....yeah ok... I think so too..so what the hell.... I'll say it... I think you're fucking crazy. To up and move lock stock and barrel... without ever metting this dom? <Shakes head> It makes no matter how long you been talking to this dom via internet.. phone.. MEET FIRST! Hell I'll even say meet once... then move... that's too soon... but better than never meeting before. This is the best reply I have read in this thread. *Bad shit happening has a greater potential, then the all is great* fantasies you may have running through your mind. IMO your being foolish. But like "they" say most of us end up learning the hard way.** *Brightspot

Merritt27 -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 5:00:31 AM)
Ticia, Please do not allow the nay sayers and "Debbie Downers" of the world get you down. If *YOU* are certain of your Dom and certain that YOUR gut intstincts are right...go for it! Although we were only 15 minutes apart...my Daddy and i threw out every "rule" when we met. I think we swapped emails for a day or so...instant message the next day and three days later he was in my apartment. No safe calls, no nothing. And dare i say it.......we played on the first meeting! My point is, that although we were close we threw caution to the wind because we knew it was right. There are more people out there that have done or would do the same thing. Judging by your posts you are an intelligent woman that could take care of herself if things dont work out anyway. So, my advice to you....go for it, have a great time and take lots of pictures.....what a wonderful way to start a new relationship, not to mention a new chapter in your life. I wish you all the best...

heartfeltsub -> RE: Moved without meeting?? (6/22/2006 6:07:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s as to your off topic request . I will keep her in my prayers just a side note tho . I don't know how much it will help since I only seem to be a religious man during those moments of ecstacy when I groan out an OHHH god ..... and thats all I'll say about that <wink> Too funny (chuckling)

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