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ORIGINAL: ForeverGaia

... It's my job to shut up and obey, even if I really don't want to.

... is it service for service's sake (as in it's your job to put up and shut up), or is it serving from affection and there's never an issue because your affection overwhelms all else?

Gaia.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

This reminds me of when I was in the long term volunteer program at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, called the Karma Yoga program:

Krishna explains that work done without selfish expectations purifies one's mind and gradually makes an individual fit to see the value of reason. He states that it is not necessary to remain in external solitude, or remain actionless, in order to practice a spiritual life, since the state of action or inaction is primarily determined in the mind.

Also known as seva - Selfless service or Seva (a Sanskrit word) is a service which is performed without any expectation of result or award for the person performing it.

My task for the day was weeding sidewalk cracks, and I was REALLY bored and hating it, and since this was August in Massachusetts, hot and sweaty, when a guest leaned down to touch me on the shoulder and whispered, "Thank you." That reframed my experience.

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ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

I've done it because even if I didn't want to do that act itself...
The reality is I do it because it's HIM that asked.
So it is about affection not obligation.

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ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

Remember that when you are lucky enough to be owned by one you love that it is not that you ” have” to do a task, it is that you ” get” to do it.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

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ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

Remember that when you are lucky enough to be owned by one you love that it is not that you ” have” to do a task, it is that you ” get” to do it.

This certainly isn't my way of thinking... I don't think, "Yay, I get to scrub the toilet!!" It's a chore, it has to be done, and I do it. I don't do it out of affection, I do it because I like a clean toilet, and so does he.

Now yes, I do what I do because I love him. No doubt. But like others have said, sometimes I just do something because he wants it done. In the big picture, it all comes from a place of love, but there are some individual things that yeah - I'd probably rather not do.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha


I little bit off topic, but sort of in the same vein as what Toys was saying. A way to turn any "Have to do task" to a process of gratitude is to meditate on the thought process, "At least I have a toilet to scrub" (many do not even have a toilet), ie, as people commonly joke, first world problems. Or, more to Toys' point, "I have a D/s relationships that many people would envy and for which I am grateful, and so cleaning this toilet is a gift."

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He came home from work and he told me his co workers were jealous to learn I get up and make his coffee and lunch every day. They grumbled that their significant other made them fend for themselves and he was able to smile and brag about me for a bit.

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ORIGINAL: Aynne88


I am not a slave but I am in a long term committed relationship. He works as a general contractor. This week he has been outside all day every day we live in Maine it's ridiculously cold, he does it for us. Does he love it? Hardly. I wake up at 6 and bring him coffee, lay out his clothes and pack his lunch. While he showers I start his truck so it's warm when he gets in it. This is I guess serving from affection but it's more respect to me. Just as he takes the garbage to the dump for me, changes the oil in my truck, and all those other things that are so not BDSM related but reinforce our love for each other. He comes home absolutely freezing to a hot meal and usually a massage and some quiet time til he is ready to talk. A lot of what we do it mutual respect and stems from being together forever and knowing what we need from each other.