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RE: Too Kind? - 1/24/2013 8:55:38 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		lol

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 2:41:30 PM   
WomanlyWiles


Posts: 166
Joined: 3/14/2012
Status: offline 		I describe myself as a mummy domme exactly because I want to put across my nurturing caring nature. On the subject of stereotypes, I was at an event last week, and a newbie turned up. He later messaged me to say he was surprised I was a domme as I was so quietly spoken! Because that's totally how it works.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 4:15:10 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		I've had so many 'submissive' men critique my lifestyle, my sexual orientation, my BDSM orientation, my looks, my hair, my body fat percentage, my vagina (even though they've never seen it), my ass (even though they've never seen it), my breasts (even though they've never seen them), the way I drive, the way I walk, the way I talk to people... I could go on and on.

And if I gave a shit what they thought I'd be one miserable fuck.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 4:25:28 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Oh, I so understand!!! I had a submissive guy write to me just yesterday and say "Please get a good plastic surgeon." I wrote back and said "Thanks for the advice....NOT" and he replied with "insulting shit face - buy a suicide pill." They really do seem to get touchy. lmao

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 4:46:58 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Oh, I so understand!!! I had a submissive guy write to me just yesterday and say "Please get a good plastic surgeon." I wrote back and said "Thanks for the advice....NOT" and he replied with "insulting shit face - buy a suicide pill." They really do seem to get touchy. lmao

NBMG


I'd have written him back and said, "Please get a good brain surgeon."

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 4:51:26 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		lol

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 9:30:49 PM   
Uenjoyedict


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		I get told that all of the time, by both people who know me well and in the BDSM world. I just let it roll off my shoulders & try to not let it affect me.

It's like absolutchocolat says, there will always be people trying to project themselves on you, you just have to know & keep in mind that you are in charge. It's your way...

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 9:50:56 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Well being a bitch sells.

Being nice doesn't.

We've already seen this in another thread....the 19 yr old "Dommes" who come on, humiliate the subs, get money and gifts from the subs and they sell their panties to the subs. It works. They seem to make good money from it.

It seems that's what so very many subs are wanting and looking for. I don't think you find many who want a Domme who is nurturing or nice. They are in the minority I think.


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Too Kind? - 1/25/2013 10:17:33 PM   
LdyViolet


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/1/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Oh, I so understand!!! I had a submissive guy write to me just yesterday and say "Please get a good plastic surgeon." I wrote back and said "Thanks for the advice....NOT" and he replied with "insulting shit face - buy a suicide pill." They really do seem to get touchy. lmao

NBMG


I'd have written him back and said, "Please get a good brain surgeon."



Sounds like one I had earlier today. After he whined that I must not be interested in him because I hadn't replied to him soon enough I gave him a very mild verbal spanking. He proceeded to go into a hissy fit, telling me I'm a lousy Domme, I don't know anything about the lifestyle, then went into a barrage of name calling that would have made a 12 yr old think he was cool. He was blocked, not even worth the effort to type "Fuck off loser"

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 3:12:59 AM   
WomanlyWiles


Posts: 166
Joined: 3/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Well being a bitch sells.

Being nice doesn't.

We've already seen this in another thread....the 19 yr old "Dommes" who come on, humiliate the subs, get money and gifts from the subs and they sell their panties to the subs. It works. They seem to make good money from it.

It seems that's what so very many subs are wanting and looking for. I don't think you find many who want a Domme who is nurturing or nice. They are in the minority I think.



In my experience, that's not true. When I first came into the scene, I was worried that people would think I wasn't hardcore enough as I'm not into s and m. But I've been contacted by hundreds (no exaggeration) of subs who are not looking for a sadist. For every man wanting kinky sex or used knickers there's plenty more looking for a meaningful relationship based on power exchange where kink is secondary.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 3:29:01 AM   
Ronnie1986


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/15/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Well being a bitch sells.

Being nice doesn't.

We've already seen this in another thread....the 19 yr old "Dommes" who come on, humiliate the subs, get money and gifts from the subs and they sell their panties to the subs. It works. They seem to make good money from it.

It seems that's what so very many subs are wanting and looking for. I don't think you find many who want a Domme who is nurturing or nice. They are in the minority I think.


lol i always play along with the bitches that message me but always end up calling them out... the following is a conversation that took place just today.. i am apparently not allowed to use the users name however im sure this is copy and paste and also probably a dude as the person has no picture or profile but most of the people on here dont know how the fuck to start speaking to a fellow human being to begin with.. and dont seem to grasp i have no reason to submit to some random person ive never met online.. the only reason for this is to see if there is somone whom i get to know and feel i would be willing to submit to..


Other person - Boy

me - ........................

other person - better see yes ma'am

me - i see.... yes ma'am....

other person - want to be mine slave learn to obey do as and how told period - no rights, no limits, no exceptions. I want a video of you naked jerking off. Want to see you cum in your hand expect to see every spurt. When done drop to knees face on cam show me the cum on hand then look into cam as you eat ALL of it. Make it happen. Email it to [email protected]. Decide how badly you need a real domme like me slave but do it quickly

me - wow so you read my profile and thought that what you just said was relevant to what you had just read.. im afraid i wont be making it happen.. nore do i need or want a domme like you.. i cant believe you would assume someone with my profile would at all want to speak to someone who sends a message like that.. i would suggest saving what im going to assume is your best effort for the far more desperate...

other person - actually weeds out those that aren't worth my time

me - yah well it obviously works both ways weirdo.

these are the only people who message me on this site.. i have i think gone thru all the real profiles in my age range and am left with only these..

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 6:45:57 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Well being a bitch sells.

Being nice doesn't.

We've already seen this in another thread....the 19 yr old "Dommes" who come on, humiliate the subs, get money and gifts from the subs and they sell their panties to the subs. It works. They seem to make good money from it.

It seems that's what so very many subs are wanting and looking for. I don't think you find many who want a Domme who is nurturing or nice. They are in the minority I think.



True. And how often do you see femdom porn in which the dom is asking the sub to do things, carrying on friendly conversation with him and laughing WITH him. Yet just about every time I've engaged in femdom in real life, all of those things are involved.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 7:40:50 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		In my mind, there is no such thing as being too nice.

Usually the right words to describe Your personality, as You express it on this thread, are:

+ caring and compassionate.

Yet those two traits, do not stop You from getting Your way .. or putting Your foot down ... when You wish. No?



And these are admirable traits.

One of the greatest Dommes i have known (and that is more than one ;-)

Was very similar to how You describe Yourself ...

So like .. skip labels and be who You are!


(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 8:51:23 PM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Well Lady Pact. From the submissives who have contacted me on these sites, MANY of them tell me they get the stereotype from the way Dommes come across to them online. They hear the same things time and again.

I'm not all that into what the porn industry is teaching to be honest about it... simply because any I saw in the past were pretty preposterous and now I maybe look at one every few years, if that. (yes, really!) It will be something I came across on cable TV while traveling for work...I don't purposely rent them.

If you don't agree with me, that's totally fine. I have no problem with that. : )



quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady
Then I'd like to say that I understand where you are coming from in this thread.
I'm not sure I'd blame the porn industry so much as I would blame the way (some) Dommes come across to submissives both online and in r/t. I've read some extremely confrontational Domme profiles, as well as seen some very b*tchy Drama Queens offline . And from the messages I get, it's something many submissives have come to expect from Dommes.

We may see this differently. Part of it is from the porn industry. Where else does the stereotype come from? I'd even go so far as to say that is what some (uneducated) folks think they are *supposed* to be when they write up a profile. Funny thing about that. Portraying Dommes as the evil bitch is what sells. Go figure. LOL.





(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Too Kind? - 1/26/2013 10:34:24 PM   
PrincessDonna11


Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline 		Im nurturing and kind as long as sub is doing things MY way.....

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Too Kind? - 1/27/2013 1:16:01 AM   
stephINca


Posts: 87
Joined: 1/19/2013
Status: offline 		Ms Bitch,
Thank you for posting this thread I have been trying to figure out how to be the "perfect domme". Now I know to just go with the flow and see how it goes.

(in reply to PrincessDonna11)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Too Kind? - 1/27/2013 2:18:21 PM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'd suggest that your friend needs an education rather than putting faith in stereotypes. Usually, that's a misconception that's held by those who don't know that Dominants have the range of personality types.



Well said.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Too Kind? - 1/28/2013 8:11:02 AM   
sub4adventure


Posts: 66
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xLaChienne

Define what it means in your world and let that be all that matters.




Very well put, Ms. C.

(in reply to xLaChienne)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Too Kind? - 1/28/2013 10:22:05 AM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		Granted, the start of what I'm about to say was in the context of a male Dom and a female sub, but I think it's equally applicable either way.

Some time ago, on another site about BDSM, there was a lot of talk about the Dom helping the sub who had gone to "sub-space" return back to reality. IIRC, the term being used was "after-care". Seems to me that a Dom/me that needs to do that had darn well better have some nurturing qualities.

Now I realize that not every Dom/me makes every sub go to sub-space. But if the play does go to that level, the Dom/me almost has a responsibility to help bring the sub back -- after all, s/he sent the sub there. So having the attributes that NBMG's friend "accused" her of, actually makes her a better (or at least, more complete) Domme, IMHO.

(in reply to sub4adventure)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Too Kind? - 1/28/2013 5:44:00 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stephINca

Ms Bitch,
Thank you for posting this thread I have been trying to figure out how to be the "perfect domme". Now I know to just go with the flow and see how it goes.

Oh wow. Are you calling me a bitch rather than my username? I'm the one who posted this thread, so you must be. If so, what did I say or do to bring that on? I most certainly did not say I was the "perfect domme." If you're talking about me when you say "Ms Bitch," I think you're telling more about yourself and your bad attitude than you are about me.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to stephINca)
Profile   Post #: 40
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