RE: Now *I* need profile advice!

RE: Now *I* need profile advice! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Baroana -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:10:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Is that black cat yours? I love black cats and I have one too. NBMG He is unfortunately deceased. I do have three living cats, two of whom are black :)

myotherself -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:11:32 PM)
Thank you! And if it makes you feel any better, I still get nasty messages from guys complaining that my profile isn't "slave-like" (whatever the hell THAT means!) or that I don't make it obvious that I'm owned. Even a well-written profile can't cure stupid and horny [:D]

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:21:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I got a cmail from a guy who seems like a real jerk. Between the lines, however, his message constituted a scathing attack on my profile. Just in case it really is me, I was thinking I had better check myself before I wreck myself. If you care to take the time, please review my profile and give me your brutally honest feedback. Thanks in advance. I just read your profile, and it is perfectly FINE. Don't change a damn thing. You come off FIRM, with set RULES, and that is what QUALITY male subs are seeking. As for the basement troll who contacted you, that's all he is, A TROLL. Their primary purpose is to get a REACTION from you, cause you to DOUBT yourself, that is how they entertain themselves. (Doh! You FELL for his trick!) I personally take the "water off a ducks back" approach with the guys who freak out and start yelling when I reject them...because, being a Sadist I do SOOOO ENJOY when a male loses his composure, freaks out and yells. It means I butt-hurt him. Awwww. (hee hee). Leave your profile just as it is (although I agree with someone else, you could perhaps add some journal entries to give a better window into your personality) --MM

Baroana -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:27:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I got a cmail from a guy who seems like a real jerk. Between the lines, however, his message constituted a scathing attack on my profile. Just in case it really is me, I was thinking I had better check myself before I wreck myself. If you care to take the time, please review my profile and give me your brutally honest feedback. Thanks in advance. I just read your profile, and it is perfectly FINE. Don't change a damn thing. You come off FIRM, with set RULES, and that is what QUALITY male subs are seeking. As for the basement troll who contacted you, that's all he is, A TROLL. Their primary purpose is to get a REACTION from you, cause you to DOUBT yourself, that is how they entertain themselves. (Doh! You FELL for his trick!) I personally take the "water off a ducks back" approach with the guys who freak out and start yelling when I reject them...because, being a Sadist I do SOOOO ENJOY when a male loses his composure, freaks out and yells. It means I butt-hurt him. Awwww. (hee hee). Leave your profile just as it is (although I agree with someone else, you could perhaps add some journal entries to give a better window into your personality) --MM Hmmmmm..... we have ourselves a deeebate! I would love input from some sub guys, i.e. my target demographic. Anyone? Anyone? Thanks so much for the feedback, MM. The reason why this guy made me doubt myself is that he seemed to have actually read my profile, and his response seemed at least halfway thought out. I can't quote exactly what he said, because I deleted the message. However, the gist of it was that I don't apparently understand the concept that when subs submit, they expect something in return.

rhymeswithcupid -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:34:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana I got a cmail from a guy who seems like a real jerk. Between the lines, however, his message constituted a scathing attack on my profile. Just in case it really is me, I was thinking I had better check myself before I wreck myself. If you care to take the time, please review my profile and give me your brutally honest feedback. Thanks in advance. I think your profile is very well written. I appreciate your bluntness and your sense of humor. That video cracked me up! The only thing I would change if it were my profile is that I would put more details about MYSELF. What are your interests? (I mean like, books, movies, music, etc ...) As a submissive myself, I would love to see an example of something small I might do FOR you. Not something sexual or anything like that but just like ... If I were thinking to myself ... Hmm, I'd like to impress this lady. What can I do? As an ice breaker. Because it can be intimidating to approach a dominant. One lady I met in RL asked that I bring a small item I'd created myself. I ended up going a little overboard--I made her a necklace, a sketch of her photo and I wrote her a poem (lol!)--But she loved it and it made it a lot easier to get through that initial contact. ETA: I'm not a sub guy but I do occasionally find myself falling for dominant ladies.

LadyPact -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:40:24 PM)
I'm afraid I didn't see this as the profile other people are seeing. If you had the same profile from the other side of the fence, you'd have been ripped to shreds. It contains those things that any male having the same kind of profile would be chastised for. Rather full on the negativity about people online, how men only pay lip service, etc, etc. Even the quotes that you used, which I actually enjoyed and give you props for recognizing the authors, didn't exactly have a positive slant. Personal pet peeve. Fix the spacing. I had to scroll right so the text would fit on the screen. This happens sometimes when folks do a copy/paste. You know what everyone says about copy/paste and how lazy it is. You write very little about yourself. Your interest list does include the vanilla activities that you enjoy, but never any mention of what you like about them. I didn't really get the feeling that your profile was about you. It was really more about everybody else. All of this is before you say anything as to why you are on a kink site, rather than E-Harmony, except to say you are a Dominant woman. You don't even say why you consider yourself a Dominant or what a submissive brings to your life. As a leather person, I wasn't thrilled with your ramble about why the term "Mistress" without a qualifier was incorrect. It's cool that you're not a leather person, but our protocols aren't lumped into the Victorian mindset. Positives. You do express how you deal with those who send messages. I consider that fair warning. I do love your mention of cat person being mandatory. I like the cat pic. (Always have.) Would you consider adding some other shots? Not of the cat or even of yourself. Maybe a scenic shot that you enjoy? A sunset, a shot of the beach...... Along with Steven's "less is more" philosophy, if I were you, I'd probably drop a note to ResidentSadist. He's got an uncanny ability to convey those messages that come across as negative into positives.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:49:38 PM)
Say more about yourself, what makes you...you. Also say more about what you're wanting out of a dynamic. Say more about what you are looking for in a submissive and less about how awful the submissives (you don't want) can be. That will make the profile appear more positive and uplifting. I mean, it's okay to say what you don't want, just don't be crabby about it. I do, however, like how you're straightforward and clear in it. NBMG

EsotericLady -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 12:59:53 PM)
If you would indeed appreciate a straightforward, very OBJECTIVE (I don't know you anyway) interpretation of your profile... I agree with DarkSteven in that it definitely rubbed me the wrong way, however I can't just claim "at times." The first paragraph of your profile made you sound so angry and unapproachable that I lost interest in reading the majority of your profile. You could well be a very lovely person to know... but I think I would rather not risk a (possible) confrontation with you. (Sorry) quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven The profile rubbed me a bit the wrong way at times. 1. "Generally, I do not initiate messaging with people on this site, no matter how much a profile may interest me. Why? Well, for one thing I have been deluged many times over with all the lip service in the world about how Tom, Dick, and Harry live to serve, and they are just dying to meet a woman who might own them one day. Yet, when the rubber meets the road, they cannot be bothered to lift a finger - literally. A couple of emails, a chat or two ... that's about it for 99% of the self-identified submissive guys I have met online. After that, they don't seem to have it in them to even keep up with messages, let alone meet in person. They just wanted to wank for a bit. That being the case, I pretty much won't look twice at someone unless and until he has shown he can at least put forth the effort to introduce himself. If someone writes an intelligent message to me, I will review his profile and see if I find him interesting. If I do not write back, it is because I am not interested. As any woman on this site can tell you, even a simple message saying something like "sorry, not interested" often triggers a vitriolic backlash. Those guys ruin it for everybody else, so accept my apologies now for the lack of a reply. I believe that on a site like this, it is far easier to come across as creepy than on vanilla sites. Moreover, your writing (i.e. spelling, grammar, and content) is the beginning and the end of your first impression. That said, type carefully." I'd replace that with "I don't initiate messaging. If my profile interests you, and you're local to the greater NYC area. feel free to send a polite message. And please... spell and type carefully. If I like your message and profile, I'll write you back. If not... that's life." 2. "Just so we don't start out on the wrong foot, please allow me to share my view of the word "Mistress" in the context of BDSM: it's woman-demeaning bullshit. Have you ever heard anyone use the word in any non-sexual/non-Victorian sense? For example, "she's a mistress of her trade"? No, no you haven't. Moreover, even the dominant women who like to use that term will shoot you down if you attempt to address them that way as a stranger. And sorry, but I can't resist making one last point before I step off the soapbox. Chastity: WTF, guys? Is it not the height of cock-centrism (Is that a word? I don't know, but if not then I just invented it) to believe that just because it is apparently the ultimate torment for you to not be able to touch your schlong, that must translate to the ultimate pleasure for me? Sorry to disappoint you, but I really can't give a shit less whether you touch yourself or not. " I'd replace that with: "Please, do NOT call me Mistress. Also, I'm not into chastity - not my thing. If you need it, please move along."

LafayetteLady -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 1:01:42 PM)
While I really enjoyed reading your profile, I have to agree with both DS and LP. Negatives like the "lip service" comments aren't good for males or females, dominant or submissive. Simply stating you don't initiate contact without such a detailed explanation would be fine. As LP and others said, some positives about what you are looking for and who you are would be nice. Regarding the guy who sent you the nasty message though, he was just an ass.

Baroana -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 1:05:48 PM)
Hmmmm. And here I thought it was just that all the guys are jerks if they don't contact me based on my profile. I'll have to process this.

AlittleCrazy098 -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 1:24:09 PM)
I know I'm young and don't know much, and that my profile isn't perfect at all. But, when I read your profile you came off as condescending. I mean, I want to meet the women first then the bitch during play, but the women is who I want to meet. IMO, the condescending factor will make it intimidating for most men (including me) to talk to you because some may feel as if nothing that they say or do will peek your interest. As Shama's pointed out, your profile creates a small communication barrier, which I hope I explained why that was using my opinion. Then again, I understand that you receive a lot of messages from punks, players, and losers so there might be a reason for why you layed out your profile that way. Perhaps, Virginia's suggestion would be best to show that you are approachable? This may give someone a more precise way on how they can communicate with you on a first message.

ARIES83 -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 3:39:32 PM)
I thought the public service announcement was a good touch, the "fun facts" interspersed throughout the profile seemed to work well, and generally it's quite comprehensive and easy to read. I give it... a 8 out of 10! While it ticked a lot of boxes, the profile itself didn't blow me away or anything and those last two points are reserved for some sort of "Wow" factor.[:D]

DarkSteven -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:06:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana You think? So less explanation is better in your opinion? Well, as a general thing, yes. But also, less spleen is better.

Baroana -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:20:00 PM)
Thanks, everyone. I have some catching up to do on individual responses. Just FYI, I edited my profile, and Aries is commenting on the new one.

DarkSteven -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:22:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Thanks, everyone. I have some catching up to do on individual responses. Just FYI, I edited my profile, and Aries is commenting on the new one. It's a really good profile now. Become a sub and relocate to Colorado, and we'll talk. Seriously, it just feels... comfortable. And it mentions your interests. I like it.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:25:22 PM)
So much more appealing with a lot that males can actually start a discussion about if they read the profile, so an even better culling tool. [;)] It should be win/win. [:)] Let us know if you see a difference in responses.

Baroana -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:25:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Thanks, everyone. I have some catching up to do on individual responses. Just FYI, I edited my profile, and Aries is commenting on the new one. It's a really good profile now. Become a sub and relocate to Colorado, and we'll talk. Seriously, it just feels... comfortable. And it mentions your interests. I like it. Thank you, Darksteven [:D] And check the weather forecasts for the cold day in hell when I become a sub and move to Colorado.

Level -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:36:32 PM)
I don't see anything wrong with it. Polite, to the point, and well written. This may mean your critic is a douche. Edited to add: I see you've made some changes to it, good ones from what I can tell.

Nothing2SeeHere -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:39:52 PM)
It is pretty cold in Hell, Michigan - feeling subbie yet? [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana And check the weather forecasts for the cold day in hell when I become a sub and move to Colorado. ETA quote.

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Now I* need profile advice!* (1/26/2013 4:51:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AlittleCrazy098 I know I'm young and don't know much, and that my profile isn't perfect at all. But, when I read your profile you came off as condescending. I mean, I want to meet the women first then the bitch during play, but the women is who I want to meet. IMO, the condescending factor will make it intimidating for most men (including me) to talk to you because some may feel as if nothing that they say or do will peek your interest. As Shama's pointed out, your profile creates a small communication barrier, which I hope I explained why that was using my opinion. Then again, I understand that you receive a lot of messages from punks, players, and losers so there might be a reason for why you layed out your profile that way. Perhaps, Virginia's suggestion would be best to show that you are approachable? This may give someone a more precise way on how they can communicate with you on a first message. I think you are looking for an entirely different type of woman, more like you'd find on a vanilla dating site...a sweet, friendly girl who will cuddle and support you, but act kinky and slap you around when it suits YOUR needs and won't lay down any rules you have to follow. I put up barriers like hers ON PURPOSE. ("Condescending"? Well, Dommes generally DO talk down to subs, it's part of the "job" description, so to speak.) Barriers are useful to weed out most of the cock-stroking, self-serving time wasters who think the Dominant woman is here for the purpose of pleasing THEM. Should a Domme sound cuddly and have a sexy pic? I'm not interested in being friendly to males I don't know. Why should I be, because society thinks I should be sweet? If males don't like the strict rules I place in their way then they simply aren't the type I seek and they are free to find some woman who makes things EASY for them. Let them climb over the walls and jump some hurdles if they want to see My "nice" side....and there are plenty of male subs psychologically robust enough to make it through to meet the real Me. My message box has been non-stop busy since I set up My profile back in September. I've found some very good friends/subs because they braved the barriers and were the type I sought. OMG, I hate to think how many freaking JUNK messages I'd have to sift through if I'd put up a PRETTY photo of Myself and used "FRIENDLY" wording! If you guys are too thin-skinned to handle her talking down to you and demanding you follow some rules, you shouldn't be looking for a Domme. Better to see Her "mean" side BEFORE you approach Her, than to be suddenly surprised when She brings it out AFTER you are tied up and helpless. To the OP, I guess the big issue is this: Are you getting the RESULTS--responses from the TYPE of sub you seek--with your profile the way is has been? If yes, LEAVE IT....if no, then CHANGE IT. EASY PEASY! --MM

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875