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RE: I was right.... right?? - 1/28/2013 8:13:08 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I just keep coming back to this and thinking he's not upset that she went away. He's upset that she is not making him a part of her life by taking this vacation without him, without asking him if he wanted to go, not meeting her family, etc... If that is what it's about, then I can completely understand on that point. It can be hard to feel as if you both are living separate lives and the other has no desire to share you with their family, friends, etc....

So we really don't know the other side and what was going on with him.

Very possible, but here are my thoughts on that.

They've only known each other about a year, and have been together as an M/s couple for about a month. From my own personal experience, when the Mister took a several day long road trip to visit family (about a year or so into our relationship), I just figured it was still really early in our relationship and he'd include me along when the time was right. In her case, they've only been in a relationship about a month, and this is a traditional, annual visit with her family. For me, that would be way too early to be bringing him along.

But...say it's different for them...then he needs to TELL her this, otherwise it appears to be passive-aggressive pouting, which, in my world, is not becoming. At all.

The situation she described - for whatever his reason - would not work for me at all. Either I'm with someone who can talk to me about what he thinks and feels, or I'm single (by choice). I won't be where I'm not wanted, so if a man withdraws from me, I tend to just go away.

As for the 20 texts in a day comments, it's pretty typical for the Mister and I to converse via text if phone or email are not available (we'll shoot some emails to each other during the workday, but if I'm away or like now, in jury duty, I shoot him texts here & there to say hello or share funny tidbits of the day with him. Today I sent 13, but that was with back & forth dialogue. If he didn't respond at all, I'd have stopped texting after a few.

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RE: I was right.... right?? - 1/28/2013 10:53:30 PM

littlewonder

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You're right NuevaVida but I also think it's not right to say just kick the guy to the curb because we really have no idea of knowing the other side. Could be another he said/she said. It could be he saw her as needy with all her texts. No one knows.

As for the texts, when Master and I first met, we texted each other but not a ton...maybe 5 to 10 a day depending on work, what we were doing, etc....but if I had sent him 20-30 in a day I have a feeling he would say enough. I remember him one time texting me exactly that a few years ago because I was bored, alone, still living without him, it was early in the morning and I had to be somewhere. After about the 10th one he was getting annoyed with me. Now we're lucky if we even text 2 or 3 times a day because he's busy with work and now so am I and neither of our work is big on cell phones plus we know we'll be seeing each other after work and this way we also have more to talk about.

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RE: I was right.... right?? - 1/28/2013 11:02:08 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

You're right NuevaVida but I also think it's not right to say just kick the guy to the curb because we really have no idea of knowing the other side. Could be another he said/she said. It could be he saw her as needy with all her texts. No one knows.

I totally agree. There have been times (although it's been a long time) when the Mister just needed some space to think about things.

We don't know the full story here.

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Post #: 43