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How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocatively kinky CM profile PRIOR to responding?


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[Poll]

How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocatively kinky CM profile PRIOR to responding?


I spend NO TIME evaluating provocative profiles before contacting them
  8% (5)
I spend SECONDS evaluating provocative profiles before contacting them
  21% (12)
I spend MINUTES evaluating provocative profiles before contacting them
  69% (39)


Total Votes : 56


(last vote on : 5/20/2016 12:53:08 PM)
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How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocativel... - 1/28/2013 10:16:17 PM   
Snitch


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline
There are some quite provocative kinky profiles for Dom/Dommes and subs/slaves here, but evident inconsistencies in many make me wonder whether I should invest any energy in them.

Hence my question:
How much energy do you invest in evaluating a provocative CM profile prior to responding?

EXPLANATION:
* By inconsistencies, I mean datapoints that don't line up, such as age/height/weight/location/status/likes/dislikes/etc.
* One of the most obvious and commonly obsserved inconsistencies could be clearly misleading photos that are actually of models on the net but which are made to appear to be representative of the profile owner.
* It's important to clarify I'm not including the intentionally artistic profile images, nor cartoons, nor generic depictions (e.g., partial body depictions such as obscured faces, stockinged feet, bared legs, etc.) that are not actually intended to mislead.
* By responding, I mean spending any time communicating with the owner of the provocative profile, either by CM mail or otherwise, in the pursuit of a relationship (irrespective of who actually drafted the initial contact).
* By a provocative profile, I mean a Collarme profile whose text and metadata are of interest to you in your quest for a D/s relationship, so you would like to believe the profile owner is sincere, and therefore you naturally desire to respond.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 10:34:24 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
None, even when I was single.


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(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 10:36:21 PM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
Well, it sort of goes something like this ...

1. If a woman contacts me, or if I'm interested in a recently logged in profile, then I might spend about twenty seconds intuitively skimming the wording of the profile, the age, height, weight, journal, and forum entries, etc. of the owner, and then I look critically at the profile pictures (if any).

If any of the above are awry (and they very often are), I simply delete the mail contact, hide the profile, and sometimes click the various report buttons, and I immediately move on with my life, ignoring that profile forevermore.

2. If the profile passes that initial intuitive quick screening, then, before taking the time to respond, I ALWAYS spend a few more seconds physically verifying at the very least, the profile picture. This I do mainly for two reasons. (a) once set up properly in Firefox, it only takes a single click of the mouse to verify against the three major image reverse search engines, and (b) some of the pictures, usually of non-ideal women, are purposefully not intuitively obvious to recognize as misleading.

< OBSERVATION > Some of the profiles which appear perfectly normal, are actually using quite mundane photos of models, which are NOT obvious to the naked eye, but which turn up instantly in the single-click search of billions of images above. Others actually lead to Facebook & MySpace & Fetish style social networking sites, which allows further inspection of the profiles' veracity. More than a few point to social networking profiles which are decidedly different from that of the Collarme profile, and those are clear indications of something badly awry in the veracity of the datapoints. < / OBSERVATION >

These two almost automated steps alone quickly eliminate perhaps half to three quarters of the people who contact me or whom I am interested in (see screenshot below of step 2 in action).

3. Then I glance at the time last logged in date; if it has been greater than, oh, about three months, I ignore (but do not hide) the profile contact, while, at the same time, I take note of the length of time the profile has been in play.

4. If the distance is greater than, oh, say about 25 miles, I again usually ignore (but do not hide) the profile, unless they contacted me first, in which case I respond politely (assuming all other tests are met), in context, yet I mention the distance betwixt us. Generally I don't spend a lot of energy over time maintaining those contacts, even when they approach me with kudos for my profile, as meeting (and a real relationship) probably just won't happen realistically. (Note: If I was interested in an online relationship, the distance obstacle would matter far less.)

Very often the radius mileage doesn't match up with the stated location, which, when grossly off, is proof that the zip code entered is nowhere near the supposedly matching town location, hence, those inconsistent profiles I generally hide and ignore forevermore.

The four steps above take about a minute, give or take, and eliminate the vast majority of profile responses.

If the profile makes the initial cut above, I now begin to delve into the stated personality of the profile owner.

5. For longer profiles, I generally read the profile bottom up. Bottom up is an editing technique which forces me to take each sentence at face value, and it allows me to understand better what the profile owner actually seeks. Coincidentally, a plethora of weeding-out filters are often piled up in the bottom of a profile description, so these are seen first and foremost using this reverse-reading technique.

RANT: The profiles with the amplified text about people using their profiles for research projects irks me to no end, and I generally count that as one point against the owner, as they're just not being realistic in terms of real threats. / RANT

6. If the profile itself measures up, I always read EVERY SINGLE journal entry, taking note of the ad hoc mood swings of the owner and the inherent nature of her wants, needs, and desires. Certainly 'my' stream of consciousness frame of mind sways with my journal entries, and is a light into my soul, so I expect similar of others.

7. Once the journal entries enlighten me, I move on to forum posts. If there are forum entries for this user, I glance at the topics and forums the user has posted to, and, if interesting to me, I click on a few to read her comments in the forums. Unfortunately, many provocative profiles do NOT have forum entries, so, this valuable tools is withheld from us in perhaps 90% of the cases.

8. Personally, I must admit I don't make all that much use of the LOVES/LIKES/DISLIKES interests and skills section, although I must somewhat sheepishly admit that I do glance at the top few loves to see if the series of B's (i.e., blowjobs, bondage, blindfolds, & breast play) are highlighted. If so, the unconscious tingling in my loins secretly, if illogically, tucks a few additional mental points to my evaluation of the profile's veracity.

9. There are a few other, non-essential-but-nice clues that I look for. For example, it's a plus if I find that the user has availed herself the viewing of my complete profile, as evidenced by the "Who's viewing me" button. It almost never happens, but if she has added me to her "Favorites" list, that again tingles me into adding a few points in her favor to the score.

10. Lastly, I look at her "Friends" list. This is a reverse test, of sorts, where the fewer friends, the better (within reason). My untested rationale is that those with a zillion friends are just non-selectively collecting signatures, while those with none don't play games. Having none to an eclectic few is what I generally expect, and therefore those aren't red flags. Of interest on the friends, are any friends that are obvious fake profiles, as again, that indicates a disturbingly uncritical respondent.

Since I seek a R/T relationship, if, perchance, we get this far, I generally insist on an early phone verification at the very least - and then she and I meet for a F2F coffee or lunch tête-à-tête. YMMV.

[mod edit to remove oversized picture]

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 1/29/2013 4:39:08 AM >

(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 10:38:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
Seems like a lot of work just to say "hey, wanna meet up for a cup of coffee?"

_____________________________

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(in reply to Pyramus)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 10:49:50 PM   
Snitch


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline
Interesting!

< Message edited by Snitch -- 1/28/2013 10:51:54 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 10:56:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
not really. I never messaged others online. They always came to me and I rarely ever looked at their profile. Very few warranted me to do so. Very few have ever held my attention longer than a second or two.

I would just banter back and forth with the person and if after all that chatting, I started to feel an interest possibly in them THEN I would look at the profile and if I liked what I saw and not in just the kinky way (that was maybe 10% of my interest in the person), then we would talk some more and eventually meet.

Why does everyone make this so complicated? I mean really....it's not any different than getting to know people on any other website online be it bdsm or not.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/28/2013 10:57:13 PM >


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
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(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 11:36:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Sorry, Snitch, your writing and outlook regarding fake profiles doesn't strike me as feminine. You seem to be a sock for a man, who has decided to hide behind a fake profile. Why?

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 11:44:08 PM   
Aedonix


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/26/2011
From: the UK
Status: offline
he only evaluation i really do other than taking the time to READ a profile is checking the likes and dislikes section.. if they claim to be a slave but have "Housework" in their "Hate" section. then i keep movin' right along. (slave indeed.. Bah!)

_____________________________

if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/28/2013 11:54:20 PM   
Agent99


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus
The four steps above take about a minute, give or take, and eliminate the vast majority of profile responses.


How the hell did you get those look up menus in your browser?

(in reply to Pyramus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:00:14 AM   
Cilicia


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

The only evaluation i really do other than taking the time to READ a profile is checking the likes and dislikes section..


I thought it funny that women complain in their profiles that men don't read their profiles yet the woman who responded said she doesn't read the profiles.

Then again, I should probably be quiet because my profile picture appears at the left to be a vanilla ice cream cone and I don't look ANYTHING like a vanilla ice cream cone.

(in reply to Aedonix)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:02:59 AM   
Aedonix


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/26/2011
From: the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

The only evaluation i really do other than taking the time to READ a profile is checking the likes and dislikes section..


I thought it funny that women complain in their profiles that men don't read their profiles yet the woman who responded said she doesn't read the profiles.

Then again, I should probably be quiet because my profile picture appears at the left to be a vanilla ice cream cone and I don't look ANYTHING like a vanilla ice cream cone.


Awww and here was me thinking you looked rather yummy! Guess i just gotta find some one else to lick.

_____________________________

if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so.

(in reply to Cilicia)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:12:46 AM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch

There are some quite provocative kinky profiles for Dom/Dommes and subs/slaves here, but evident inconsistencies in many make me wonder whether I should invest any energy in them.

Hence my question:
How much energy do you invest in evaluating a provocative CM profile prior to responding?

EXPLANATION:
* By inconsistencies, I mean datapoints that don't line up, such as age/height/weight/location/status/likes/dislikes/etc.
* One of the most obvious and commonly obsserved inconsistencies could be clearly misleading photos that are actually of models on the net but which are made to appear to be representative of the profile owner.
* It's important to clarify I'm not including the intentionally artistic profile images, nor cartoons, nor generic depictions (e.g., partial body depictions such as obscured faces, stockinged feet, bared legs, etc.) that are not actually intended to mislead.
* By responding, I mean spending any time communicating with the owner of the provocative profile, either by CM mail or otherwise, in the pursuit of a relationship (irrespective of who actually drafted the initial contact).
* By a provocative profile, I mean a Collarme profile whose text and metadata are of interest to you in your quest for a D/s relationship, so you would like to believe the profile owner is sincere, and therefore you naturally desire to respond.



Personally, I don't see a need to make this a big scientific experiment. I look at profiles. If they interest me, I write. I am not an idiot, so I don't need to be told that an 18-year-old Anjolina Jolie lookalike who is begging to suck cock is a fake. If someone is not genuinely looking for a relationship, they make that clear in their correspondence always immediately. If you are consistently fooled, it means you are either dumb or so desperate that you have lost all common sense.

(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:30:22 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I'm one of your 'no time evaluating a profile before contacting' votes. It is worth noting, however, that I don't contact people from the personals side. Only those from the forums. Generally, if it is a first contact, it's about the subject that person and I were having a conversation on a thread. Going through a person's profile isn't usually necessary to have a friendly and casual conversation.


_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:52:02 AM   
Subano


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/15/2013
Status: offline
I knew about tineye and reverse google but didn't know about that group search.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 12:58:17 AM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Agent99
How the hell did you get those look up menus in your browser?


Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

This is all you need to add as a Firefox extension.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/who-stole-my-pictures/

If you want just google reverse image search, use this.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/googlesearch-by-image/

If you want to add TinEye separately, use this:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/tineye-reverse-image-search/

And, if you want to geolocate the bathroom in pictures people send you, use this.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/exif-viewer/


(in reply to Agent99)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 4:10:35 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
First of all I'm not looking for a 'provocatively kinky profile', so it takes me a few seconds to look a profile over and see if the profile is all about kink/sex or not. If not I'll write. It's no big deal.

(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 4:35:09 AM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline
It's like articles in a magazine. Some are fluff and some have depth; attention is devoted accordingly.

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What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 5:32:05 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
If a profile or journal catches my attention I read it.
I may even send a note to the profile owner.
The other day, I read a profile where a guy had a hair fetish.
That is an something I don't see often, so I emailed him asking about his fetish.
Lead to a nice conversation.

If a poster on the forums catches my attention I read their profile.
I don't dissect it.
I don't do reverse searches.

I have a video slave, that contacted me off of this site.
I didn't do a reverse search of his photos, I didn't dissect his profile.
I had conversations with him.
Then we actually meet in person.

There are people that don't read profiles at all.
I find it rather amusing, especially when they contact you and their comments or questions make it obvious.
There are also those that don't read profiles because they aren't looking for anything or anyone.
So why would they?
They aren't sending out email saying, "Hey, are you Indian? What's with the feet pictures?" or dumb shit like that. Lol

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http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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(in reply to evesgrden)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 7:32:45 AM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline
In the time it takes to perform all these rituals in checking out a profile, I could:

have a profile read

a load of laundry done

my vehicles washed and refueled

the groceries bought

and been to the pet store.

LMAO!!!


(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How much energy do you invest evaluating a provocat... - 1/29/2013 8:10:21 AM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline
When there are obvious inconsistencies, I don't reply. If I get to the point where I'm looking at her profile and notice that the height and weight don't match up at all, or that she lives in California but is 200 miles away from me in Ohio, then I won't message her. Same if all she talks about in her profile is sex or kink.

When I find a profile that I might be interested in talking to the person behind it, then I'll spend a number of minutes looking at and responding to her profile. The exact amount of time depends on how much writer's block I'm having with regards to that message, but I'm doing both at the same time via two different tabs in Firefox.

While I certainly look at the pictures, I don't reverse-image search them unless something makes me suspicious. I know that there are people who will use pictures of another person and pass those off as themselves, but I take them at their word, initially. I don't get invested emotionally in a CM message or early contact period...it's a feeling-out process, that's all. Before too long, I figure that we'll either exchange a number of pictures, talk on the phone, be on webcam, etc. If they aren't who they say they are, I'll find out.

(in reply to Snitch)
Profile   Post #: 20
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