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dcnovice -> RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) (8/14/2013 6:00:06 PM)
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FR
Latest update (and apologies for unanswered cmails!)
My nephew wanted something, but I can’t remember what. A cookie, perhaps, or a popsicle. Or maybe permission to fire up a video game. This was years ago at a family gathering, when he was still shorter than I am. He went to his mom, who said no. Ditto for his dad, my brother. No fool, my nephew then found an easier mark—my mother, his Nana.
Unfortunately for the poor kid, my brother was still in earshot. Nephew had barely gotten out “Nana, may I please…” when his dad stepped in. “That’s enough.” he said. “No more answer shopping.”
That arresting verb caught my ear and lodged in my writerly memory. I don’t know if it was my brother's coinage or not, but I love it. And I realized this past weekend that it’s an awfully apt description of what I’ve spent much of 2013 doing.
The answer I want, of course, is that some superstar surgeon can carve MiMA out of my rectum without destroying my plumbing and leaving me sporting a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. Alas, that answer seems increasingly elusive. Washington Hospital Center gave me maybe a 30 percent chance of escaping a permanent colostomy. A surgeon at Georgetown was even more pessimistic, saying that a colostomy was virtually certain if he operated.
Nephew-like, I took my show on the road, conferring with a sawbones at Sloan-Kettering. He initially seemed to offer a choice between a colostomy and a lower anterior resection (LAR), a procedure in which the colon is attached directly to the anus. That’s not a perfect solution, since my rectum-less bowels would need to move often and urgently, with the risk of some measure of lifelong incontinence.
At last Friday’s follow-up visit, however, the doctor strongly advised a colostomy. (I didn’t think, unfortunately, to ask what had changed his mind.) He could possibly, he said, attempt an LAR, but MiMA’s location greatly reduces the likelihood of success. I could wind up needing a diaper for my remaining years. As you can imagine, that’s not an appealing prospect.
So now I come to a hard choice. Do I bow to what appears to be inevitable, given that I have three sources—Ben Bradlee's famous standard for Watergate coverage—saying a colostomy is the most likely option? Or do I keep answer shopping, perhaps tracking down the Pennsylvania sawbones (whose name I’ve forgotten) my oncologist mentioned? Do I check out Johns Hopkins or even Mayo? I don’t know.
Meantime, I’ll resume chemo on August 23rd, the first of four fortnightly rounds. Then some weeks to rest, followed by surgery in early to mid-November. Your thoughts and prayers and kind words continue to sustain my on this rugged journey, so please keep them coming.
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