RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (Full Version)

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kalikshama -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 5:14:59 PM)

I've identified as bisexual since I was a teenager but have no interested in disembodied female parts.




OsideGirl -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 5:15:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder



I'll be one of those girlseseses who is not interested in other girlseseses moving parts. I just find them just as rude as male parts.



Me too. And I am attracted to women. Posting pictures like that makes me find them instantly unattractive.




absolutchocolat -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 6:51:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Double standard, even girls want to look at girlseseses moving parts......


This, I'm told, is true.

Certainly I, for one, do NOT wish to look at mens' body parts - but - on the other hand, any women wishing to send me pictures of their body, as close and up front personal as you can get, are ALWAYS welcome! :)

"course, I don't 'spect any ... but the point is that mens' parts aren't anything like women's parts.

Witness the superbowl, for example.


Hey, hey now. All that masculinity, grunts, body slamming...mmm. Made me hot. I was especially turned on by Gore's touchdown dance.

Men parts and lady parts are cool when they're not...seedy and lewd, for lack of better terms. Also, clean, trimmed, and no razor bumps does help the cause. Some people need to scrub and use Magic Shave so their genitals don't look like the back of a Nestle Crunch bar.




Lynnxz -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 8:04:57 PM)

I found this theory on reddit, and I rather like it. The op was discussing why women tend to be more subtle than men while flirting or dating.

Here's the thing: it's not logic. It's not like we're given a formula at age 5 that says "Meekness+batting eyelashes=Ideal woman/Romantic success." It's a long series of social cues and observations that you pick up on over YEARS.

Every time we saw a girl who was outspoken be insulted as "bossy" in kindergarten (Deborah Tannin has a great article on the use of the word "bossy" as directed towards little girls). Every time we see a woman who is outwardly angry or sad be called "crazy", "bitchy", or "PMSing". Every time I log onto Reddit and see pictures or videos of drunk flirtatious girls (Jersey Shore is a great example) called "sluts", "skanks" or "whores" for going out and being available sexually. Every time someone inevitably in those same threads says "Why can't we have REAL women, classy ones like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly?", two women who (as much as I love them) were renowned for being demure and elegant and yes, SUBTLE. Any time someone says a woman who was flirting openly or wearing a short skirt deserved to be raped. Any time you're at a party and see a woman hooking up with a man be called, "disgusting" and "desperate", while the man doesn't get called anything.

It's a message we receive OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again, and you're right that it isn't logic. It is intense cultural conditioning which gets layered into our brains and drilled in there over decades.
If you flirt too much and make yourself sexually available, you are a desperate slut. If you are loud and outspoken, you are a bossy bitch. If you are overly emotional, you are crazy and irrational. Real women are Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. They had class.
And YES, there is a line between Jersey Shore and Audrey Hepburn. But to most women, that line? That comfort zone? Is going out and flirting with men in what they feel is a safe and subtle manner. Reading a lot into glances and texts and missed phone calls. Most of us don't even recognize that's why we're doing it. We just think it's a "men/women" thing.



And there you go. Men don't get called skanks and whores for flashing a bit of flesh, and men are MEN! Have to be BIG and BOLD, and LOOK AT MY DICK!






TAFKAA -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 10:54:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I found this theory on reddit, and I rather like it. The op was discussing why women tend to be more subtle than men while flirting or dating.

Here's the thing: it's not logic. It's not like we're given a formula at age 5 that says "Meekness+batting eyelashes=Ideal woman/Romantic success." It's a long series of social cues and observations that you pick up on over YEARS.

Every time we saw a girl who was outspoken be insulted as "bossy" in kindergarten (Deborah Tannin has a great article on the use of the word "bossy" as directed towards little girls). Every time we see a woman who is outwardly angry or sad be called "crazy", "bitchy", or "PMSing". Every time I log onto Reddit and see pictures or videos of drunk flirtatious girls (Jersey Shore is a great example) called "sluts", "skanks" or "whores" for going out and being available sexually. Every time someone inevitably in those same threads says "Why can't we have REAL women, classy ones like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly?", two women who (as much as I love them) were renowned for being demure and elegant and yes, SUBTLE. Any time someone says a woman who was flirting openly or wearing a short skirt deserved to be raped. Any time you're at a party and see a woman hooking up with a man be called, "disgusting" and "desperate", while the man doesn't get called anything.

It's a message we receive OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again, and you're right that it isn't logic. It is intense cultural conditioning which gets layered into our brains and drilled in there over decades.
If you flirt too much and make yourself sexually available, you are a desperate slut. If you are loud and outspoken, you are a bossy bitch. If you are overly emotional, you are crazy and irrational. Real women are Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. They had class.
And YES, there is a line between Jersey Shore and Audrey Hepburn. But to most women, that line? That comfort zone? Is going out and flirting with men in what they feel is a safe and subtle manner. Reading a lot into glances and texts and missed phone calls. Most of us don't even recognize that's why we're doing it. We just think it's a "men/women" thing.



And there you go. Men don't get called skanks and whores for flashing a bit of flesh, and men are MEN! Have to be BIG and BOLD, and LOOK AT MY DICK!



No, you're right. Men get called losers, rapists and deadbeats.

And while women are the ones having the fucking babies, you can sure as shit bet they're going to be judged on their sexual behaviour. And so they should be.

If a man cheats on a woman, she loses some pride and possibly the relationship.

If a woman cheats on a man, there's a high risk - especially in our lopsided court systems - he'll lose 18 years of his fucking life raising the mutant spawn of some other guy. Consequently, men are hardwired to look for women who aren't huge slutty whorebags. And why the fuck shouldn't we?

After all, women are hardwired to look for successful men who aren't deadbeats with no prospects. Women are apparently allowed to have choices in men and to talk about them - FUCK do they talk about them - loudly and often. So why the fuck shouldn't men have choices and talk about them loudly and often.

Or are sexual politics different? Has the whole "it's a woman's right" thing confused the fuck out of you to the point where you think the right to fuck indiscriminately somehow deserves a free pass.

You can fuck all you want, but the only men who won't judge you are the same losers and deadbeats you don't want to know. The rest of us? You can be sure as shit we're judging you on your behaviour - just as much as you're judging us on our prospects.

So ladies. Try not to be too much of a hypocrite on issues like this - you really are embarrassing yourselves.




Zonie63 -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (2/4/2013 11:01:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The title of the thread is funny to Me. Nobody's going to go for the bad joke about the fact that the male peacock is showing off his plumage to attract the female and *not* his genitalia?

Earlier in the thread it was mentioned that women should be tolerant of the men who do the nude shots. I actually am tolerant of it as long as it's the second shot or beyond. Primary photo? Unlike sexyred, I do report those. If it's the second or later photo, I figure it's My fault if I see something I didn't want to because I'm the one who went looking.

Unfortunately, guys, you can't argue Des' point. Even if we are tolerant as you would like, it's not going to improve our impression of you. We know you are reaching to be appreciated visually as a sexual being but our instincts don't work that way. The sight of you becomes a lot more enticing after we have gotten to know more than the physical.



I can see what you're saying, although I have known women to ogle over guys they don't know for purely physical reasons. Just like the notion that the star quarterback is going to get more dates than the nerd who's in the chess club. I'm not necessarily arguing with either position here, but I think there's a kind of duality to this in that, sometimes women respond favorably to visual stimuli, sometimes not. It might leave some guys somewhat confused.

As for the cock shots, they seem not unlike flashers, the guys who would go around in raincoats and flash unsuspecting women in the streets. They're still around of course, but there might be similarities with some of these profiles. Of course, most men know that you can't just go to a public park and whip it out, but if they thought there was a place they could do so legally, a lot of men probably would (and apparently do, from what I'm understanding in this thread). I don't know what the purpose is; when it comes to flashers in raincoats, I'm not sure if that's their way of looking for a date or if the act itself is what gives them a thrill. If it's the latter, then I suppose there might be some guys thinking "Oh, I can post pictures of my dick here? Cool!" That may not have anything to do with peacocking, but it's difficult to say.

On the other hand, it may not be exhibitionism at all, but rather a way of saying "this is the most important part of my life." We love our dicks so much that we just want to share it with the entire world. [;)] Maybe there's some kind of primal instinct involved in it, not so much in showing it off, but in wanting to get one's dick out there as much as possible, even if only in a vicarious manner.







LadyPact -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/4/2013 11:04:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus
This, I'm told, is true.

Certainly I, for one, do NOT wish to look at mens' body parts - but - on the other hand, any women wishing to send me pictures of their body, as close and up front personal as you can get, are ALWAYS welcome! :)

"course, I don't 'spect any ... but the point is that mens' parts aren't anything like women's parts.

Witness the superbowl, for example.
Whoever is telling you that is full of crap. You even confirm the thought process from your own point of view. Why would you think that straight chicks are interested in close up shots of twat any more than you are of checking out other guy's cocks?

Use your head.





LaTigresse -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/5/2013 4:11:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder



I'll be one of those girlseseses who is not interested in other girlseseses moving parts. I just find them just as rude as male parts.



Me too. And I am attracted to women. Posting pictures like that makes me find them instantly unattractive.



This.

Gaping holes are no less disgusting to me, regardless of which gender owns them.

Nudity of random strangers does not appeal to me unless...........it is a VERY artfully done photo/painting/sculpture of an unusually attractive body. I've only seen that in photos on this site, probably a dozen times in the entire time I've been a member. Otherwise it elicits an "Ewww, that's nasty..." response. If it's especially nasty and I have the time, I send a link to a friend to share the "Ewwww, that's nasty....you bitch!"




Akrotiri -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (2/25/2013 7:56:01 AM)

What I don't understand is why women don't like naked parts but they try to show them all the time.

Take all the celebrity side boob showings, for just one example.

Why do women say one thing but do the other?




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (2/25/2013 6:33:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus

QUESTION:
Why do some men appear to utterly lose their sense of decorum in this fetish forum when those very same men clearly dress almost always without offending women in the real world. (And why are women more balanced in this regard.)

In two recent threads, it becomes painfully obvious that women:
(a) Do not often want to see naked pictures of we men in our profiles, and,
(b) Do not, in general, find the male genitalia visually attractive

On the one hand, men are clearly restrained in the outside world from showing their primary and secondary sexual genitalia, in that typical male business, casual, sport, and even bedroom attire can not be considered to be overtly sexually revealing.

Specifically, one almost never hears women vehemently complaining about how men dress in the 'normal world'.

Yet, apparently, it's a common no-more-genitalia complaint of women here which is revealed in this vignette which was offered as advice to men today:
VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7CxgpevKuU

The conundrum is why (a large proportion of?) men appear to throw all that unassuming decorum they exhibit in their normal lives to the wind, by peacocking their genitalia here, much to the (cringing) distaste of women.

Why the striking unbalance?

BEGIN STRIKING CONTRAST:

Contrast men with women in the outside world, where it is this man's opinion that women are much more balanced in their action. Specifically, women show far less genitalial restraint in the common world than men do, where many ladies show (and enhance, perhaps even falsely) as much of their primary and secondary genitalia as they feel they can get away with (perhaps inversely proportional to maturity) in those same business, casual, sport, and bedroom attire situations we noted above (where the men showed none).

Witness these commonly heard expressions:
- "Is this skirt too short?"
- "Does it make my butt look fat?"
- "Can you see through my blouse?"
etc.

Having had both girls and boys, I've never had the boy sent home for inappropriate dress (e.g., too short of a skirt), while it's a constant struggle with the girl (who argues vehemently to wear skimpy clothing for reasons unknown to me).

The contrast is striking:
- It appears men show supreme restraint in the common world - yet the unbalance is that some of those men show supreme unrestraint on this fetish web site. In total contrast, women appear to be greatly more balanced in that they show far less restraint than men in the BOTH worlds ... but, concurrently, they seem to at least have a better sense of balanced decorum here, in the fetish world.

So, the question arises:
QUESTION: Why is it that a decent number men are clearly more unbalanced than the women - while the women as a whole, are clearly more balanced, yet less restrained, than the men?


You have some work to do bub.

(Trust me on this).




Casteele -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (2/27/2013 6:19:13 AM)

FR

Not gonna read the entire thread, just the OP and skimmed a few of the posts.. but I feel this is just plain obtuse and rather narrow minded.

(ignoring the fact that the CM ToS has specific rules on what is allowed and not allowed for a primary profile photo..)

Checking out the profiles available here, I see no clear evidence that men are any more or less "balanced" then women in any regard, not just genitalia.. except when it comes to the sheer number of those who cry "foul" every chance they get. I've seen many comments on here about how it's crass and rude for a guy to have a cockpic, but it's sexy and sensual for a girl to have a titpic. The unbalance is not within the genders, but between the genders. And it just continues to fuel the gender wars; A man is viewed in such a negative light for having a cock--it's not sensual or sexy, it's not tasteful, has no class; while a woman is viewed as oh so sexy, sensual, tasteful, classy to put her mellons on display, and even more so if she only does so in a "suggestive" manner rather than blatant.

Why is either side more or less right or wrong than the other? Would the public views change if say, cock enhancement cosmetic surgery became as commonplace as breast enhanacement? "Look girls, I just got a cockjob.. isn't it a lovely cock now!? It really boosts my self-esteem and makes me feel so much more confident in myself!" It probably would not; Women would just bitch and moan about how shallow the guy was and how all he had to offer was his cock. Yet, it's more acceptable for women to do just that. Even among those women who take the stand of "I can't stand that bimbo, fake tits and all!" sometimes, deep down inside, are resentful more because it's not themselves that get to do it than because some other woman is doing it.

(And a disclaimer, since I know someone is gonna get their panties twisted over my last statement.. I said sometimes, not always, and it does not apply to every last woman out there. I know plenty of women whom truly find those "bimbos" just as distasteful as cockpics. If such comments do not apply to you, then you have no reason to seek to be offended by such comments..)

My point is, though, not so much that either is right or wrong or anything, but that as the saying goes.. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It's not an unbalance so much as a difference between the genders and expectations. Equality and balance is not possible by the cretia implied in the subject matter, no more than an apple is equal to an orange in terms of color and flavor, even if they weigh the same on the scales and are both forms of fruit.




xssve -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (2/27/2013 8:23:37 AM)

I would hypothesize women are far more subtle and acute observers: women can walk around in their tightest Pilates pants and it's still not revealing enough for guys, whereas I have discovered that women can tell if you're going commando or not even through the baggiest Chinos, and can probably guess your penis size within an Eighth of an inch to boot, without having apparently ever looked directly at you.




Baroana -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (3/18/2013 7:36:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

I would hypothesize women are far more subtle and acute observers: women can walk around in their tightest Pilates pants and it's still not revealing enough for guys, whereas I have discovered that women can tell if you're going commando or not even through the baggiest Chinos, and can probably guess your penis size within an Eighth of an inch to boot, without having apparently ever looked directly at you.



I recently got cmail from some guy that seemed very upset by the sentence in my profile that says women don't want to see photos of guys' dicks.

His message to me advised that men don't want to look at photos of fat bitches waddling around.

Count that as one vote for my profile pic being too revealing [sm=champ.gif]




Snitch -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (3/18/2013 10:35:47 AM)

Men would make much more sense, even to themselves, if we'd just remove their testicles.




PeonForHer -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (3/18/2013 2:57:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Snitch

Men would make much more sense, even to themselves, if we'd just remove their testicles.


It's been suggested. ;-)




BamaD -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (3/18/2013 6:14:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

That's amazingly offensive.



I'm guessing the point was women are selling their bodies all the time and men only do it here.


Which is STILL offensive and incorrect.


The fact that you are right will not automatically gain agreement.




theRose4U -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (3/18/2013 6:18:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus
This, I'm told, is true.

Certainly I, for one, do NOT wish to look at mens' body parts - but - on the other hand, any women wishing to send me pictures of their body, as close and up front personal as you can get, are ALWAYS welcome! :)

"course, I don't 'spect any ... but the point is that mens' parts aren't anything like women's parts.

Witness the superbowl, for example.
Whoever is telling you that is full of crap. You even confirm the thought process from your own point of view. Why would you think that straight chicks are interested in close up shots of twat any more than you are of checking out other guy's cocks?

Use your head.



HE IS, just not the head whose opening is used for oxygen exchange




randompolls -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (3/19/2013 8:53:05 AM)

Sending out:

quote:



Hi,



I'd like a moment of your time please.

Recently this tread was started on the collarchat.com message board http://www.collarchat.com/m_4369084/tm.htm about why men seem so much more likely to use frontal nudity/genitalia shots as their primary picture than women.



A lot of theories where brought up, and a lot of questions raised, but seeming that no men with that sort of pictures actually posted, it remained mostly theories and very little answers.



Because of this, I'm conducting a survey with a 100 men who have cock shots as their primary picture, which is why you have received this mail.

I'm not doing this to criticize you, or make fun of you, or harass you, or judge you in any way. I'm merely sincerely curious about the answers to the following questions.

With that, I am hoping you're willing to take a few moments to answer a few questions.



- What is your motivation for posting a cock shot as a primary profile picture?



- Are you aware of the fact that women are generally turned off by cock shots in profiles, especially as a first picture and will often refuse to communicate with men who have any cock shots at all in their profile?



- If you were unaware of this, will you change your picture now you've been informed of this fact? If not, why not?



- If you were already aware of this, why did you chose to use a picture you knew to be a turn off for most women?



- Do you enjoy close up shots of female genitalia on profiles?



- Are you here looking for a long term relationship, or a casual fling?



- Are you aware that the Terms of Service of this site does not allow nude shots as a primary profile picture?



- If you were unaware of this, will you change your picture now you've been informed of this fact?



- If you were aware of this, why did you chose to use a picture you knew against the rules of the site?



Thank you very much for your cooperation.



DISCLAIMER:

I want to emphasis that none of your answers will be used in any kind of research of any kind, nor will I publish the results in any format, other than on that thread on the message board. I'm not affiliated with CollarMe.com. And none of the answers you give will be linked to your specific profile in public (I'm not allowed by site rules to use your name on the forum). So this is a survey that will remain strictly confidential.





PeonForHer -> RE: Why is it that MEN are less balanced than women in "genitalia" profiles? (3/19/2013 9:09:03 AM)

How interesting! I'd like to see the results of that - though, I have to admit to being pessimistic that it'll yield many sensible replies.




Arturas -> RE: Why are MEN far less BALANCED than women ... when it comes to peacocking genitalia R/T vs O/L? (3/19/2013 9:11:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Blankpain


quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

Men peacock their personalities because this is what attracts women ... in the outside world,


Men peacock their houses all the time.
Men peacock their red corvette all the time.
Men peacock their vacation home in Tahoe all the time.

Men peacock all the time. They just peacock different things here on CM.

But they're not used to this. In the real world, they're experienced at how to peacock for women.

Here, in sexland, they're actually very inexperienced at it. And it shows.


Please don't generalize. There are alphas here also. They understand having not just one card but a full hand to play.




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