quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

My kink is to find new naive submissives, tell them S&M isn't about sex, and explain how big and bad the world is and then offer them my collar of protection.  I then explain how important training is and proceed to train her to do ATM.  I also keep her isolated and not allow her to talk to anyone else who isn't real and I decide who is and isn't real.

See, i think the key in passing judgement is actually being able to recognize what is harmful and what isn't.

What You actually described here (and from what i've read and gathered about You, was dripping in sarcasm) is harmful...though there is a catch.

Let's pretend for a moment that You weren't being sarcastic. Does what You would be doing with said submissive turn both parties on? Is it what she is looking for, ultimately? Is she consenting? If You answer yes to all of these, then i can actually voice my concerns, but do it respectfully, which is what so many people forget. Instead of me saying, 'That's wrong, You shouldn't be doing that, period,' i'd try to say, 'i disagree with Your methods, and i do hope that this is consentual, and that You are an honest man about what You offer her/do with her.'

See the difference?

i have a feeling what the OP was talking about was the little things. The 'OMG how can you stand being called a slut??' or the 'i've never heard of slaves being sold...that's so WRONG!'. Or the many people who outright sh*t on the Goreans for doing what they do. Or the ongoing argument about whether or not 'online' is okay.

i hope that all made sense. i just woke up from a long nap.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

Fair comment Meatcleaver,  there's nothing wrong in giving advice but another thing being rude, or illconsidered. It seems man forget manners.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

My kink is to find new naive submissives, tell them S&M isn't about sex, and explain how big and bad the world is and then offer them my collar of protection.  I then explain how important training is and proceed to train her to do ATM.  I also keep her isolated and not allow her to talk to anyone else who isn't real and I decide who is and isn't real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

This post comes from several threads i have read recently.
 
When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them?
 
Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions?
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

This post comes from several threads i have read recently.
 
When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them?
 
Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions?
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
"Intolerance" is often the perception of the person reading a post, not the poster. If you post that you enjoy any fringe activity and someone calls you disgusting for having that desire it's important that you recognize that their 'disgust' and 'intolerance' was of the activity and NOT you. You would only perceive it as 'intolerance' if you lacked self-confidence and treat their opinion as a personal attack.

"Judgment" is important for anyone with integrity. It should be required of people you respect and value as friends or acquaintances. Whether deriving from life experience or book knowledge, judgment is a function of value. Again, disagreeing with someones judgment is not attacking. Pointing out their judgment may need to consider other issues is not attack. But there is importance to judge and determine 'right' and 'wrong'; even if that only holds true for your personal situation. Again, self confidence and the ability to separate factual references from feelings, precludes perceiving another's judgment of you or your activities as a personal attack. But a challenge of your judgment should always been seen as an opportunity to strengthen your position. You only would shrink from it, if you placed validity in the facts presented against your judgment.

"Understanding" is not required. It's rationalization in another form. It's easy to 'understand' why a starving person would steal bread from a store, but you can't 'understand' why the president of Enron would steal Millions. Maybe the Enron president like to satiate his hunger at "Dean & DeLuca". In reality there is no difference. Yet we rationalize, or understand. When it comes to some things maybe not understanding isn't so bad. Can you understand the activities of Jeffrey Dahmer? Is NAMBLA just "misunderstood". You may say what is "legal" determines understanding, but "legal" is also a moving target. I can legally buy and smoke marijuana in California if I get a 'medical card'. But the FBI can arrest me on a federal charge. I guess they just don't 'understand'. Then again you can be legal driving 35 MPH on a 65 MPH highway, but you'll never get me to understand why you are doing it.

Instead of being concerned with intolerance, judgment, and understanding; the better focus would be on being confident enough in what you are doing to shout your position from the mountain top, then stand up to any challenge. The only person who these issues should be important is the person in the mirror and the person or persons with whom you share, or hope to share, that mirror.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Instead of being concerned with intolerance, judgment, and understanding; the better focus would be on being confident enough in what you are doing to shout your position from the mountain top, then stand up to any challenge. The only person who these issues should be important is the person in the mirror and the person or persons with whom you share, or hope to share, that mirror.

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them? Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions?

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

This post comes from several threads i have read recently.
 
When it comes to other peoples kinks / fetishes why are so many of us so intolerant / judgemental / not understanding of them?
 
Should it not be each to their own without the above reactions?

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

 yeah I try...but some times i get caught up in judgements: like that guy that needs to shit in womens handbags, but i try to catch myself and work through it.
 
I look at my reaction of disgust as a tell-tale barameter for me, and i try to learn more about myself and what makes me think this or that....

When I was a teenager I had a neighbor that worked at the local grocery store which was in a tourist town. He told me this story I shall never forget, he said this guy was watching female shoppers and rubbing himself covertly, and then he grabbed a loaf of bread and came inside of it after he opened his fly. The security people caught him doing this and they caught it on camera. They made him pay for the bread and told him never to come back... your story just made me think of that... and yes you will never look at bread the same way again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

.  You express an opinion, I express an opinion.  It's often called debate.  Sometimes it's called conversation.