RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (Full Version)

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Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 3:05:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Hey DS,

I get the impression that it was a powerful post, man.

Is there any way you can repost it w/o the offending word? (As a favor?)


It took me an hour to write it. One word offended.

I wish to state, again; the Administrator that removed it was almost apologetic about having to do so. They were very sweet.

While we all knew that this thread might run afoul of ToS, my post (that contained one fucking "no-no word" was removed while other violations remain in the same thread.

So, no. I won't be taking my good time to repost it. Consider it my little form of protest of the slanted moderation that resides in general and in particular, even, on this very thread.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


11 pages into this thread, I don't know why you'd have to type it once... Isn't the answer common sense???



descrite -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 4:31:33 PM)

quote:

IF - a Daddy Dom of that subset, is psychologically the same as a pedophile, but only interacts with consenting adults, isn't that person a hero, of sorts? Isn't he someone who has taken intense feelings and channeled them into a harmless, and perhaps even, wondrous, relationship? Yes, that may gross many out, but so do a lot of kinks. To each their own.



Wow. Killer thread.

My two cents: OP makes a lot of sense. About pedos; I don't know about the whole Daddy Dom thing.

I used to be in the "kill each one" camp...then I did a report on a specific pedo, and I interviewed an expert psychiatrist in that field...he explained several things to me in a way I had not grokked the subject before...and the thing that really threw me was: "What if you lived in a world where the worst taboo, the most vile, universally-hated act was to have sex with women?"

That threw me for a loop.

Because my sex and sexuality are integral to me. I would be one lawbreaking dude, if I lived in that world.

That gave me one thing I never thought I'd have, and still amazes me to this day: sympathy for pedophiles.

It gave me something else: a realization that imprisoning, torturing, mauling, or killing every discovered pedo is not the way to combat pedophilia: if you punish each one that pops up, there is going to be nobody who self-admits. That includes the barbaric "treatments" we often offer.

Here's the really creepy thing: we outlaw child pornography because children were harmed in the making...but if we used CGI to make really good fake cp, and pedos could get off on that, and NEVER HARM A CHILD, then it would be a (very twisted, very sad, disgusting) win-win.

Of course, recent legislation meant to protect children has outlawed CGI cp. So that method is gone.

I am interested to see what happens when sexbots are perfected. Will there be small-sized ones?

I am not a DD. I find the whole thing gross. I know there are plenty of people who feel the same way about my kinks. But I was at a recent comic-con, and watched 20-something women walk around with brightly-colored backpacks and stuffed animals, and I wanted to hurl.

That is not just unappealing: it is a stone turnoff.

And I say that having dated in 20-year disparities, both directions.



So, yes, a pedo who doesn't harm a child could be seen as admirable for resisting the urge. And yes, "The Woodsman" was a good movie, for portraying just that (like the interview, it opened my eyes to a different way of thinking-- Kevin Bacon is amazing, as is Mos Def).















Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 5:10:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

IF - a Daddy Dom of that subset, is psychologically the same as a pedophile, but only interacts with consenting adults, isn't that person a hero, of sorts? Isn't he someone who has taken intense feelings and channeled them into a harmless, and perhaps even, wondrous, relationship? Yes, that may gross many out, but so do a lot of kinks. To each their own.



Wow. Killer thread.

My two cents: OP makes a lot of sense. About pedos; I don't know about the whole Daddy Dom thing.

I used to be in the "kill each one" camp...then I did a report on a specific pedo, and I interviewed an expert psychiatrist in that field...he explained several things to me in a way I had not grokked the subject before...and the thing that really threw me was: "What if you lived in a world where the worst taboo, the most vile, universally-hated act was to have sex with women?"

That threw me for a loop.

Because my sex and sexuality are integral to me. I would be one lawbreaking dude, if I lived in that world.

That gave me one thing I never thought I'd have, and still amazes me to this day: sympathy for pedophiles.

It gave me something else: a realization that imprisoning, torturing, mauling, or killing every discovered pedo is not the way to combat pedophilia: if you punish each one that pops up, there is going to be nobody who self-admits. That includes the barbaric "treatments" we often offer.

Here's the really creepy thing: we outlaw child pornography because children were harmed in the making...but if we used CGI to make really good fake cp, and pedos could get off on that, and NEVER HARM A CHILD, then it would be a (very twisted, very sad, disgusting) win-win.

Of course, recent legislation meant to protect children has outlawed CGI cp. So that method is gone.

I am interested to see what happens when sexbots are perfected. Will there be small-sized ones?

I am not a DD. I find the whole thing gross. I know there are plenty of people who feel the same way about my kinks. But I was at a recent comic-con, and watched 20-something women walk around with brightly-colored backpacks and stuffed animals, and I wanted to hurl.

That is not just unappealing: it is a stone turnoff.

And I say that having dated in 20-year disparities, both directions.



So, yes, a pedo who doesn't harm a child could be seen as admirable for resisting the urge. And yes, "The Woodsman" was a good movie, for portraying just that (like the interview, it opened my eyes to a different way of thinking-- Kevin Bacon is amazing, as is Mos Def).















Oh good lord... Why is it sooo hard to understand the concept? First of all, I am also not a Daddy Dom, I am a Sadist and damn proud of it. But I possess the common sense to know that the old saying "If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably...". How does that apply here? Pedophiles are attracted to the young (under the age of 12-14). Not acting, not dressing, not sounding like. You know the old joke about a guy in a raincoat waving candy in a playground? That wouldn't work in the front plaza of Hewlett-Packard no matter how the women were dressed. Pedophiles are attracted to children plain and simple. To say someone who is attracted to a 40 year old woman dressed in a skimpy plaid skirt and pigtails, somehow is also is a pedophile, is laughable.



descrite -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 5:55:05 PM)

quote:

How does that apply here?



Not sure what you mean. In your sentence, there are three indefinite elements: "how," "that," and "here"...seeing as they make up 3/5 of your total question, it's hard to give you any kind of answer.

What is the "that" in your question?

There were three topics in my post: pedos, DDs, and a movie. Which "that" were you asking about?

And I'm not familiar with the joke you referred to.



Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 6:17:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

How does that apply here?



Not sure what you mean. In your sentence, there are three indefinite elements: "how," "that," and "here"...seeing as they make up 3/5 of your total question, it's hard to give you any kind of answer.

What is the "that" in your question?

There were three topics in my post: pedos, DDs, and a movie. Which "that" were you asking about?

And I'm not familiar with the joke you referred to.


Ok, here ya go... *map to point* Does that help?



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 6:32:24 PM)

quote:


Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?


Asked and answered.



AllisonWilder -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 9:59:19 PM)

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?

A pedophile (as far as I'm aware, anyway) isn't capable of being sexual with adults as they are only attracted to children.

I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons:
1) Born that way
2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish)
3) Choice.

People don't really choose their sexual preferences any more than you can choose your sexual orientation. You are what you are.

Question 2

So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right?

I guess so.

Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-a self-image as being younger than they really are?

-inability to maintain peer relationships?

-a need for isolation, control and secrecy?

-shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade?

- (fill in the blank with your own observations)?

Daddy Doms and pedophiles are not one and the same so this question isn't one I can answer.

Question 4

To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this?

I do not agree. A pedophile would most likely need to express his/her sexuality in a specific way, but it still doesn't make a Daddy Dom a pedophile.

Question 5

As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth?

If you're questioning the safety of your child around your partner, Daddy Dom, Dom, Vanilla or any other partner you choose, then you need to choose a different partner.

Question 6

As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved.

I'm not sure why you think it would feel good to be with someone who is attracted to a look about you that you won't be able to maintain forever. Actually, I think that would feel pretty freakin' awful.

Question 7

To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community…

What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?)

If the people in question are both consenting adults, there is no need to 'protect' the 'innocents' as they've both given consent to be wherever it is that they are.


Something I saw mentioned here was that ageplay/incest play was being perceived as bad. It's not. There are people here, myself included, that enjoy these types of play, however, that doesn't mean that I'd ever act on it with a family member or a minor. It's fantasy, it's fun and most importantly, it's done between two consenting adults.



xssve -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 11:37:04 PM)

There are no-no words now? Rough bunch for reals. I missed it too, was gonna go back and read it after I recorded my initial thought on the matter - anything involving minors is a touchy issue with the mods, the wording of the statutes is ambiguous enough to merit caution, the argument against it being that once all discussion is proscribed, you can't talk about it at all - positive, negative, personal experience, etc., we were all suddenly born at 18, nothing that happened before that can be mentioned.

I suspect private conversation as opposed to public communication is exempted, otherwise a lot of therapists are in breach, so the whole topic pretty much resembles nothing so much as a clumsily baited trap - albeit one designed to elicit condemnation of one particular aspect of BDSM. It's one of those things you have to talk around in circles even if your intentions are pure.

But no, the worst aspect of it is probably that it is a form of infantilization - our culture infantilizes women? DO tell, women infantilize themselves, it's "cute", it's attractive, it's non threatening - it' s also whimsical, innocent, and basically a mode of intimate banter - I mean guys are infantilized as well, we toddle around in diapers drinking from our beer bottles, women look cute, and coo over puppies, etc.

I mean you're talking about "innocent victims" - to whom are you referring exactly? If you're over 18, and I hope you are if you're in here, you're an adult and while you might well get burned, the world being what it is, if sexual roleplaying scars you for life at this point, you're pretty sheltered, but not a victim of child abuse - what I'm saying here is that the whole culture of victimization is infantilizing if we're talking about things that happen to adults and not to actual infants, the difference between the two is defined legally, even if mental age can be somewhat relativistic.

We all know it's not always how old the meat is - and pussy does not age like the rest of your body - but at some point you have to call it something else.

I dunno, it is a significant issue, human trafficking etc., I take it very seriously, it's always there somewhere probably but not a thing an ethical or moral person can condone, but the daddy thing is not the poison apple here, a good daddy takes care of his little girl, they are each others world, it's more cure than cause - it's a sub-culture that permissivizes and often retionalizes preying on it's weakest members.

Things took a nasty turn with the Romans, Daddy Dom does not even remotely resemble Libertineism, in which sentiment and intimacy is typically not only wholly absent, it's actively spurned and disdained, in favor of pure unrestrained id.

DD is the same old gooey shit your parents did, it's done in a very manly way so that people watching do not become nauseous, but it does not indicate emotional stunting, or merely preying on the weakest targets, either which, one might suspect in paedophilia, and which it seems to me you're trying to imply, i.e., in truth, these little girls are very much adults in ways that maybe not even your mother was allowed to be.

When you are talking about adults being victimized by a consensual dynamic, it's you who are doing some serious infantilizing.

There is a informed, adult exchange going on here that benefits both parties, a give and take that is itself an indication of a mature social consciousness that is absent in a non-consensual relationship - any non-consensual relationship - in which the benefits are presumed to be entirely one sided, the other party bearing the costs.



LadyPact -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 11:44:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
It took me an hour to write it. One word offended.

I wish to state, again; the Administrator that removed it was almost apologetic about having to do so. They were very sweet.

While we all knew that this thread might run afoul of ToS, my post (that contained one fucking "no-no word" was removed while other violations remain in the same thread.

So, no. I won't be taking my good time to repost it. Consider it my little form of protest of the slanted moderation that resides in general and in particular, even, on this very thread.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

ETA: Also, since I have hit the "save email" button twice and a copy of the gold letter has not been forwarded, I cannot edit it properly.
Hi Michael.

I don't know if you are invested enough to make the attempt, but if you ask a Mod if it is possible to retrieve the post, you may be able to put it up again if you take out that word. You would probably have to provide some info on where the original thread was or a keyword (even the offending one) for them to find it, but I know it can be done. I've had to do the same thing in the past when something wasn't kosher but I felt the majority of the content was worth saving.

Not trying to box you in here. Just some info that I wasn't sure if you were aware of or not.

Sorry to the OP for the off topic post.



sexyred1 -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 12:06:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


Judgmental? Really? Did you read the part where I posit that if a pedophile channels that desire into age-play with another adult, that they just might be a kind of hero? Please think about what kind of non-judgmental heart can think of another human being like that, when most want to just kill them.




Look, you have gotten incredibly detailed and patient replies from all sorts of people and your original post was rather shocking in it's ignorance. I know a bit more now about you now that you have revealed you were traumatized by some sick asshole.

However, as you have written above shows that you still believe that a pedophile can "channel" their interest with another ADULT healthily. That shows you still do not get it.

Pedophiles seek under age victims who cannot consent. They would be repulsed by adults.

Daddy Doms encompass a myriad of things and actions, but all of that centerrs around ADULT CONSENT.

As for your question on The Woodsman film with Kevin Bacon (good film, btw). You are asking if it is ok for a grown woman to help a convicted pedophile work out his issues by having sex with her.

Only a very damaged person (like the woman in the film) would even consider doing such a thing with a convicted pedophile, who is equally damaged. I would venture to say that her doing so did not help him and would only lead to enabling him.

You should be very careful when phrasing things on a message board that are so inflammatory. There are people here who are very protective of their relationships with Daddy Doms and to have them even be in a sentence with a pedophile, is really quite offensive.

Oh, and there is no "hero" in anything having to do with pedophiles and the victimization of innocence and to imply that to "work out those issues" with other adults, just really disgusts me.




Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 12:10:14 AM)

Did someone say sex with bacon? mmmmmmm bacon....



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 12:13:17 AM)

FR:
I'm no DaddyDom, but was offended, and the need to defend kicking in, right from the outset.

quote:

Darkfeather
Did someone say sex with bacon? mmmmmmm bacon....
I love a bacon + breakfast after sex myself. M



Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 12:19:19 AM)

Heck, I am chewing bacon right now...

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-54334793715728_2245_520401663



TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:10:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


Judgmental? Really? Did you read the part where I posit that if a pedophile channels that desire into age-play with another adult, that they just might be a kind of hero? Please think about what kind of non-judgmental heart can think of another human being like that, when most want to just kill them.




Look, you have gotten incredibly detailed and patient replies from all sorts of people and your original post was rather shocking in it's ignorance. I know a bit more now about you now that you have revealed you were traumatized by some sick asshole.

However, as you have written above shows that you still believe that a pedophile can "channel" their interest with another ADULT healthily. That shows you still do not get it.

Pedophiles seek under age victims who cannot consent. They would be repulsed by adults.

I'm sorry. I have to disagree. I think ^^that, is a common belief, but really, it's wishful thinking. Here's a link for any who are interested in reading further about married (hetero) pedos.
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=pedophiles+who+are+married&oq=pedophiles+who+are+married&gs_l=hp.3...5757.11599.0.12127.26.26.0.0.0.0.85.1422.26.26.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.2.hp.dEIFW2kCycU&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42080656,d.eWU&fp=f61a04ae7920d10d&biw=1280&bih=739


Daddy Doms encompass a myriad of things and actions, but all of that centerrs around ADULT CONSENT.

As for your question on The Woodsman film with Kevin Bacon (good film, btw). You are asking if it is ok for a grown woman to help a convicted pedophile work out his issues by having sex with her.

I do think it is okay. I was asking if others agreed that it is okay.

Only a very damaged person (like the woman in the film) would even consider doing such a thing with a convicted pedophile, who is equally damaged. I would venture to say that her doing so did not help him and would only lead to enabling him.

Well, consider then, the movie, "Secretary," in which an ashamed, self-loathing man matches with a self-abusing woman. They protect and heal each other through a BDSM relationship. Vanilla world would say they were both "damaged," right?

Here's a link for instant, free, online streaming of The Woodsman.
http://www.sockshare.com/file/7738AF5891E69A16

You should be very careful when phrasing things on a message board that are so inflammatory. There are people here who are very protective of their relationships with Daddy Doms and to have them even be in a sentence with a pedophile, is really quite offensive.

I've apologized and taken responsibility for the poor wording of my OP. If you read the thread from the beginning, you will see that I did so repeatedly. There are "latecomers" who are not reading from the beginning before posting, so they didn't see the revisions in the questions or how the focus was narrowed. Because it got so long, and because the questions were answered, or proven to be invalid, I was going to start a new thread with the new questions because the information made the topic evolve, but Admin did not get back to me and LilSquaw informed me that the thread can't be ended by me. Beyond that, what would you have me do?

Oh, and there is no "hero" in anything having to do with pedophiles and the victimization of innocence and to imply that to "work out those issues" with other adults, just really disgusts me.

I think that your viewpoint on this is very common.

I disagree for pragmatic reasons. First, pedophiles exist. Pedos have sexual (therefore, powerful) urges that if acted upon, destroy lives. Only some get caught. Of them, only some are jailed and only some are given treatment. So far, nothing seems to work to change them. Even the convicted ones who are on sex offender lists, are going to live most of their lives among us. What is being done now does NOT work well enough to protect children (and let's not forget the pedos family members who are affected, as well.) So, for pragmatic reasons... I want pedos to be able to speak up. I want them to be able to seek treatment. I want treatment available to them - you know, treatment that works. I want them to have a healthy and normal life and that means that others in society need to be willing to befriend them, live near them, love them, hire them, work with them... Before any of that can happen, the conversation needs to happen.

So, if making kids safer means that I have to make room for a pedo to exist safely, then I will get past my revulsion and do my part to make an environment in which they can choose not to act out against children and instead, find other ways to deal with their feelings.






Nelee -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:28:45 AM)

TwoHearts, you've received many, many answers. Why is it so difficult to accept what others have tried to convey to you without picking at every single comment made about it?

They're trying to help, but you just keep shooting down their attempts.

I understand that you're just trying to get clarification, but at this rate, it's probably going to go on for another 10 pages with you and others going back and forth. But, hey, if you're cool with that and they're willing to continue to give their input, I guess you do you.



xssve -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:30:31 AM)

quote:

Judgmental? Really? Did you read the part where I posit that if a pedophile channels that desire into age-play with another adult, that they just might be a kind of hero? Please think about what kind of non-judgmental heart can think of another human being like that, when most want to just kill them.
You're a saint. But you're still simply managing to equate DD's with pedophiles, it's just not the same thing at all is what I'm telling you, you're barking up the wrong tree, it's actually a very family oriented dynamic, hell, half the old country folk I've known called each other "Mother' and "Father", none of them pedophiles - it's about security, togetherness, belonging - these people are in healthy, warm, loving, intimateadult relationships already - the last people who need to go trying to mess with kids - those are people who cannot handle an adult relationship.

Nah, these are monks too scared to sneak over to the nunnery.

So you attack a healthy adult relationship based on a universal common experience, and think that is somehow going to cure social-sexual alienation that most likely causes some forms of pedophilia? I don't think it's that sneaky, it's really a type of brain damage, something in the frontal lobes that can't tell right from wrong, and that is pretty much the established diagnosis, it's generally considered to be incurable for all practical purposes - the only treatment of sexual psychopaths that seemed to have any predictable success involved direct stimulation of certain portions of the brain through inserted wires, but it deemed and ruled unethical I believe.

They're doing great things with chemi's these days, I haven't looked at the literature in a while, maybe I'll dig up some statistics, but it's going to vary with the environmental stressors: as stress increases, the likelihood and thus the incidence of this trait occurring increase at some rate.

It may be why certain species, like dolphins have been observed committing what appears to be rape, which nobody had ever seen before. Organisms under stress go into survival mode: sex is the act of genetic exchange, and simultaneously a great stress reliever.

Go figure.

But sex with children, especially prepubescent ones, would seem to have extremely low chances of being selected for - the caveats being, age, as stated before is relative not only to physiology, but experience, i.e., 12 was not considered a child anymore by most pre-modern cultures, but the female biological clock still tells us that the optimal window for first intercourse is somewhere between 15 and 18, up to the early Twenties - that's selection at work, that would only be true if it were indeed, the most common occurrence, i.e., that's "the average" you might say, but it's a big planet with lots of people.

You are positing that DD is some sort of camouflage for pedophiles, and maybe it is for some, but I'll willing to bet the incidence of it occurring in DD lifestyles is probably lower than in the general population, I mean Christianity is one big DD RPG, the emotional incest was so thick there for a while you could cut it with a knife, it's practically a joke, what with the polygynists fighting over, yeah, 12 year old's.

I mean some of it is just good old fashioned country, "it's somethin' to do", and they tend to marry early, though seldom at 12, other than the Quakers maybe, but I believe religion harbors a higher ratio of individuals suffering from mental illness in general - most serial killers come from deeply religious backgrounds, they lay some heavy shit on people, it's no wonder they go off their nut.

What kills me though is they never see it coming - they're pointing fingers everywhere, and then it turns out the snake was in their own garden.

And then it's always: "oh, but he's a good christian man".



AllisonWilder -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:33:12 AM)

quote:

I disagree for pragmatic reasons. First, pedophiles exist. Pedos have sexual (therefore, powerful) urges that if acted upon, destroy lives. Only some get caught. Of them, only some are jailed and only some are given treatment. So far, nothing seems to work to change them. Even the convicted ones who are on sex offender lists, are going to live most of their lives among us. What is being done now does NOT work well enough to protect children (and let's not forget the pedos family members who are affected, as well.) So, for pragmatic reasons... I want pedos to be able to speak up. I want them to be able to seek treatment. I want treatment available to them - you know, treatment that works. I want them to have a healthy and normal life and that means that others in society need to be willing to befriend them, live near them, love them, hire them, work with them... Before any of that can happen, the conversation needs to happen.

So, if making kids safer means that I have to make room for a pedo to exist safely, then I will get past my revulsion and do my part to make an environment in which they can choose not to act out against children and instead, find other ways to deal with their feelings.


I'm really not sure how you think you're going to save the world one pedophile at a time, but good luck with that.



TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:39:59 AM)

lw responded to the question, "How did this get to be 10 pages with this comment...
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can.



For those who are just now jumping in... the OP questions were revised, early in the thread. When I asked in the OP if we could not defend the DD kink, I meant, DD relationships are fine, I'm talking about DD edge-players only. It was lw's link to an article that gave me the terminology I lacked to state my questions clearly at the beginning.

Ironically, lw thinks that I think people should read my mind. I can tell you that she did not read my mind to come up with that. I am aware of thanking people regularly here and cannot remember doing any complaining at all.

All in all, just a negative post with no merit.



xssve -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:42:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


Judgmental? Really? Did you read the part where I posit that if a pedophile channels that desire into age-play with another adult, that they just might be a kind of hero? Please think about what kind of non-judgmental heart can think of another human being like that, when most want to just kill them.




Look, you have gotten incredibly detailed and patient replies from all sorts of people and your original post was rather shocking in it's ignorance. I know a bit more now about you now that you have revealed you were traumatized by some sick asshole.

However, as you have written above shows that you still believe that a pedophile can "channel" their interest with another ADULT healthily. That shows you still do not get it.

Pedophiles seek under age victims who cannot consent. They would be repulsed by adults.

Daddy Doms encompass a myriad of things and actions, but all of that centerrs around ADULT CONSENT.

As for your question on The Woodsman film with Kevin Bacon (good film, btw). You are asking if it is ok for a grown woman to help a convicted pedophile work out his issues by having sex with her.

Only a very damaged person (like the woman in the film) would even consider doing such a thing with a convicted pedophile, who is equally damaged. I would venture to say that her doing so did not help him and would only lead to enabling him.

You should be very careful when phrasing things on a message board that are so inflammatory. There are people here who are very protective of their relationships with Daddy Doms and to have them even be in a sentence with a pedophile, is really quite offensive.

Oh, and there is no "hero" in anything having to do with pedophiles and the victimization of innocence and to imply that to "work out those issues" with other adults, just really disgusts me.



Well I might disagree with you Red, I don't know that its been tried that often, it involves sex, so it rings all the usual ethical and cultural alarm bells - you'd have to do it guerrilla style and publish your results, then endure endless scandal and criticism. Probably just better write a book, I'd love to read it.

But, an interest in pedophilic porn, for instance, does not appear to correlate with an incidence of offense, although offenders are often consumers of pedophilic porn, duh - but it does not appear at this point that the incidence of pedophilic porn, of which there is a lot these days, has resulted in any greater incidence of pedophilia itself, and the whole business of citing superficial resemblances as proof of some connection to justify attacking some media the accuser finds offensive, and maybe get on the speech circuit does not appear to be a robust approach to any real prevention schema - this runs a little deeper than a full grown man wearing nappies and sucking their thumb - and yes, a lot of guys are into this, are all their "mommies" pedophiles as well?

No, this is not some tragic spiral into the screaming void, it's a John Waters movie.



Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:45:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
I'm sorry. I have to disagree. I think ^^that, is a common belief, but really, it's wishful thinking. Here's a link for any who are interested in reading further about married (hetero) pedos.
*link removed for format*


I don't think anyone is saying a pedophile turns into a troll, deformed monster who reviles at the mere thought of any human contact... In fact, any predator NEEDS to be able to dissapear into "normal" human society in order to ply his or her trade successfully.. That means holding down a job, paying taxes, and yes, being married. But that does not mean a pedophile inwardly enjoys having relations with an adult. It's a perversion, a brain chemistry, something uncontrolable. You cannot think of a damaged person in terms of black and white, it just does not work, never will

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Well, consider then, the movie, "Secretary," in which an ashamed, self-loathing man matches with a self-abusing woman. They protect and heal each other through a BDSM relationship. Vanilla world would say they were both "damaged," right?
Here's a link for instant, free, online streaming of The Woodsman.
http://www.sockshare.com/file/7738AF5891E69A16


This, and your reference to the Woodsman, are two completely different cases. The Woodsman dealt with a man trying to come to terms with his inner deamons, and the persecutions he faced from the prejudices he met at the hands of those around him. Would he revert to his old ways on his own, or would the rest of society drive him to it, etc. The secretary, was a movie about two people missing a part of themselves, and how two damaged people could find a whole person between them. Albeit, it related to kink

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
I've apologized and taken responsibility for the poor wording of my OP. If you read the thread from the beginning, you will see that I did so repeatedly. There are "latecomers" who are not reading from the beginning before posting, so they didn't see the revisions in the questions or how the focus was narrowed. Because it got so long, and because the questions were answered, or proven to be invalid, I was going to start a new thread with the new questions because the information made the topic evolve, but Admin did not get back to me and LilSquaw informed me that the thread can't be ended by me. Beyond that, what would you have me do?


The best I can see done is not associating the two. There is no correlation at all between abnormal behavior and a healthy kink, although the two can come close. But and this is painfully clear, when the two come close, many and I mean many red flag pop up like signal flares. A lot of the things people do in kink can get you killed, no passing go, no collecting 200 dollars, straight to dead. so that lingering in the back of any rational person's mind, they come into these practices with a modicum of rationale.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
I think that your viewpoint on this is very common.
I disagree for pragmatic reasons. First, pedophiles exist. Pedos have sexual (therefore, powerful) urges that if acted upon, destroy lives. Only some get caught. Of them, only some are jailed and only some are given treatment. So far, nothing seems to work to change them. Even the convicted ones who are on sex offender lists, are going to live most of their lives among us. What is being done now does NOT work well enough to protect children (and let's not forget the pedos family members who are affected, as well.) So, for pragmatic reasons... I want pedos to be able to speak up. I want them to be able to seek treatment. I want treatment available to them - you know, treatment that works. I want them to have a healthy and normal life and that means that others in society need to be willing to befriend them, live near them, love them, hire them, work with them... Before any of that can happen, the conversation needs to happen.

So, if making kids safer means that I have to make room for a pedo to exist safely, then I will get past my revulsion and do my part to make an environment in which they can choose not to act out against children and instead, find other ways to deal with their feelings.


And here I agree, if you wish to discuss pedophiles you can go right ahead. My issue is only with your conclusions, nothing more. And I have stated them all above



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