RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....?

RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (Full Version)

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Nelee -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:50:07 AM)
Yep. This is going to go on for another 10 pages.

Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:53:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nelee Yep. This is going to go on for another 10 pages. I believe you were looking for this emoticon... [sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]

Nelee -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:55:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather quote: ORIGINAL: Nelee Yep. This is going to go on for another 10 pages. I believe you were looking for this emoticon... [sm=beatdeadhorse.gif] How could I forget! Thank you~! I'll remember it next time! [:D]

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 1:59:17 AM)
Oh, okay. I thought since the questions were either answered, or invalidated, that it was time to move on. Thanks for the information. :) As for "not liking what people say," I invited others to agree, disagree, or to just say what they'd like to say. That's why the OP is questions. I guess I didn't make this clear, either - devil's advocates encouraged to respond! You see, a DD/lg relationship may be exactly right for me. I just need to understand what is going on there in terms of edge-players (incest/molestation) within the DD relationship spectrum. Also, I think that the edge-players may be doing some powerful healing. Unlike many here who do NOT think that what the edge-players are doing is okay, I think it's fine. Anything between consenting adults is okay with me (except amputation and death and maybe something I don't know about yet). My own lack of better specificity in my OP aside, the thing is, people who Do identify as Daddy Doms AND also as age-players, have rejected those among them who identify as Daddy Doms and also engage in incest/molestation play (the edge-play in the Daddy Dom realm.) It is not me who uses the same label. In other words, there's a gray area here. Yes, I should have made my questions say, "Daddy Doms who engage in edge-play). However, the reason my questions look slanted is because I thought I had to word it that way to point to a specific kind of Daddy Dom. Now, I would say, Daddy Dom edge-player. Having read the whole thread, it appears that maybe 4 posts were from people who are in that group. I can see that there is discord within the realm of Daddy Dom relationship participants. Some think edge play is okay, but it appears that most, do not. Not knowing enough to really form an opinion, I would say that I err on the side of it's okay because it's between consenting adults. Others here say it is sick. Without a central, guiding point, it's hard to know these things. quote: ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw quote: I've asked the Admin to help me end this thread and move to a new one. You don't get to decide when a thread ends. It's a public forum and as long as people are not violating the TOS or forum guidelines they have a right to respond. You may not like what they have a right to say, but they have a right to say it. If you want to move on to a new thread. No one is stopping you.

Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 2:01:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nelee quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather quote: ORIGINAL: Nelee Yep. This is going to go on for another 10 pages. I believe you were looking for this emoticon... [sm=beatdeadhorse.gif] How could I forget! Thank you~! I'll remember it next time! [:D] although I am partial to this one for some reason... [sm=poke.gif][sm=poke.gif]

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 2:13:19 AM)
@DarkFeather... the OP was full of questions... this post has conclusions Are you referring to the questions or the conclusions? quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne With the addition of the perspectives described in the article in my last post, plus the perspectives of the posters here, I'm going to attempt to "fix" my OP to better reflect my questions here. Having said that, it really would help if the article was read first. quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. My questions pertain to sexual age play between the edge players in DD/lg relationships - NOT about non-sexual age play in the more commonly practiced version of DD/lg relationships. This is soooo taboo, I fear any vanilla searches may come up with some path towards kiddie porn results - not something I want on my computer's history. (nor do I want to see it) Another concern is that having this conversation in person, one on one, leaves me open to some potentially creepy responses. Plus, even posting this here, I know that there are some who will never forget that I am the one who asked. I don't like the association, but if that's what it takes... These are my questions: Question 1 Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults? As is true in the BDSM community and its rainbow of fetishes, there are some fetishes which are considered, "edge play." In terms of DD/lg relationships, there are some who are edge players - which means they act out incest or pedophilia scenarios. These people are not pedophiles or molesters (although as is true of any group, some may be criminals - but that's not the kink). Even within the DD/lg, edge player group, many consider those who actually have fantasies about real minors as sick. So, even after specifying that the question pertains to sexual age-playing Daddy Doms only, the answer is still, "No, they are not psychologically the same as pedophiles." I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons: 1) Born that way 2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish) 3) Choice. Question 2 So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right? "All things youthful" was my way of saying, "underage." I didn't think we could say that directly here (TOS). So, that was unclear. The question of whether an edge player (again, as it pertains to DD/lg, sexual play and not to DD's in general), who uses the kink as an outlet for fantasies about real kids, is a good way to deal with the feelings/urges, has been met with a resounding, "NO!" The littles here have said they would run like hell at any hint of this. I'm still not so sure about that. Is this a matter of my kink may not be your kink? If two people's needs and desires match, and they are consenting adults... where is the harm? Well, and this is why I am not sure... perhaps the people who match in this very specific and limited respect, only match because one, or both of them, are unhealthy people with unresolved issues? Question 3 This one has been answered. Again, with a, "No." (and that's allowing for the specifying which type of DD - a sexual age-player, edge player, only and not DD's in general.) Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well: This is a list of known pedophile traits/ red flags... -a self-image as being younger than they really are? -inability to maintain peer relationships? -a need for isolation, control and secrecy? -shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade? - (fill in the blank with your own observations)? Question 4 To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this? Again, the general, DD label has to be revised to specify, "sexual age-player/edge player, type of Daddy Dom." No one seems to have seen the film, so this question can just die its natural death! It would likely be another, "No" response, I suspect. Question 5 As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth? I think enough people said that all Daddy Doms do not have a preference for youth, so that makes the question invalid. Question 6 As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved. Again, this question is based on a misconception that all Daddy Doms are attracted to a youthful appearance. Enough posters have been clear that it's not about the looks to make this another irrelevant question. Question 7 To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community… What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?) Someone posted that EDUCATION is the way to protection. That answer makes complete sense to me. I sincerely hope we can skip the defense of the kink… THAT is not the issue, and there is an abundance of that point of view already. Could we focus on this other concern, please? And that ^^ is where my vocabulary failed me. I called a DD/lg relationship a kink... although that seems to vary in terms of being considered accurate, or not. I also was unable to clarify that I was referring to the DD/lg edge players - those who engage in sexual age play, only, and not asking anyone to define the more mainstream understanding of what DD/lg relationships are. In other words, no need to defend it... that's not what I am talking about. Thank you, Everyone.

LadyPact -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 2:15:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne lw responded to the question, "How did this get to be 10 pages with this comment... quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can. For those who are just now jumping in... the OP questions were revised, early in the thread. When I asked in the OP if we could not defend the DD kink, I meant, DD relationships are fine, I'm talking about DD edge-players only. It was lw's link to an article that gave me the terminology I lacked to state my questions clearly at the beginning. Ironically, lw thinks that I think people should read my mind. I can tell you that she did not read my mind to come up with that. I am aware of thanking people regularly here and cannot remember doing any complaining at all. All in all, just a negative post with no merit. I've seen this a few times over the course of the thread and this is starting to bug Me a bit. I understand that you are attempting to learn something here but you are repeating the same mistake that made this thread so difficult in the first place. See that terminology that you are using (i.e., edge play for those who like a certain type of role play) to correct yourself? Yes, you saw that in the article that littlewonder linked. However, unless they have also read the article, and seen why that particular author describes such as edge play, the reader is not going to understand you. To some people, the type of ROLE PLAY that you are trying to discuss might be edge play to them due to past issues or hurt/harm they have experienced in their lives. To others, it's not edge play at all because they don't consider it a type of play that has risky consequences physically or emotionally. You are going to confuse more people attempting to use edge play as a universal definition when it honestly isn't a perfect fit. Apples are fruit but not all fruit are necessarily apples.

Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 2:21:05 AM)
All of them. You need to throw out all these ideas and walk away from this idea that somehow an attraction to a child-like persona somehow equates to the same mentality of a pedophile. I would ask you this, does a person who loves the color orange, automatically likes to eat, oranges? Does a person who likes to act like a cat, automatically like any and all felines? You see, you cannot make these correlations without more information

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 3:10:25 AM)
Hi LadyPact, Thank you for the link to the Age Play book. I will read it. Do you have a suggestion for how I can say, "Daddy Doms who are edge-players"? I'm open to suggestions. Keeping TOS in mind, and the reality that Daddy Doms have suffered stigma problems, even within their own ranks (maybe especially so), AND that I am seeking a way to ask questions in a way that does not offend others, is there a way you can think of to ask where the "line" is drawn in the BDSM community? In other words, some in the community, in general, think all Daddy Dom relationships are sick. I am not one of them. Some within the Daddy Dom relationship community think that non-sexual Age Play is healthy and fun, but that to sexualize it is sick. Then there are some who do engage in sexual age-play, incest play, and/or molestation play. This thread, in part, reflects these divisions. I'm trying to figure out, as someone who is new to these ways of thinking but has always been open in general, how to know the red flags as they relate to incest/molestation/sexualized age-play. Waaaaaaay back in the thread, I made this analogy: Daddy Doms = cops Pedophiles = robbers. Cops/DD's are the good ones. What's in common? Cops/robbers - adrenaline inducing situations, street smarts, entering uninvited DD edge players/pedophiles - need for control, playing kids' games/ praise / welcoming dependence on them What's different? robbers/pedophiles violate the rights of others, DD edge players, respect the rights of others. So, I asked, "What are the differences and I gave a list of known pedophile traits." I expected to be told about the differences - I assumed they existed, so I asked. The reason for asking is because in BDSM, it's about consent and meaning. So, hitting an intimate partner is healthy, okay, in BDSM, with consent. The consent changes the meaning of the action(s). It is in this spirit that I ask about similarities and differences. Yes, for every kink relationship, consent and age of consent must be present, including the age/edge players. I take responsibility for not having the right language in the first place. In addition to that, another problem has been that Daddy Doms have been called pedophiles a lot. So, there's a bit of bias on the readers' end in terms of an intolerance for it being questioned. In other words, I am fine with incest/molestation players. Some here call that sick. I am wondering if the BDSM community is simply divided in their opinions, or is there some central, standard of conduct beyond, SSC? quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne lw responded to the question, "How did this get to be 10 pages with this comment... quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can. For those who are just now jumping in... the OP questions were revised, early in the thread. When I asked in the OP if we could not defend the DD kink, I meant, DD relationships are fine, I'm talking about DD edge-players only. It was lw's link to an article that gave me the terminology I lacked to state my questions clearly at the beginning. Ironically, lw thinks that I think people should read my mind. I can tell you that she did not read my mind to come up with that. I am aware of thanking people regularly here and cannot remember doing any complaining at all. All in all, just a negative post with no merit. I've seen this a few times over the course of the thread and this is starting to bug Me a bit. I understand that you are attempting to learn something here but you are repeating the same mistake that made this thread so difficult in the first place. See that terminology that you are using (i.e., edge play for those who like a certain type of role play) to correct yourself? Yes, you saw that in the article that littlewonder linked. However, unless they have also read the article, and seen why that particular author describes such as edge play, the reader is not going to understand you. To some people, the type of ROLE PLAY that you are trying to discuss might be edge play to them due to past issues or hurt/harm they have experienced in their lives. To others, it's not edge play at all because they don't consider it a type of play that has risky consequences physically or emotionally. You are going to confuse more people attempting to use edge play as a universal definition when it honestly isn't a perfect fit. Apples are fruit but not all fruit are necessarily apples. edited for spelling

xssve -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 4:09:12 AM)
quote: So, for pragmatic reasons... I want pedos to be able to speak up. I want them to be able to seek treatment. I want treatment available to them - you know, treatment that works. I want them to have a healthy and normal life and that means that others in society need to be willing to befriend them, live near them, love them, hire them, work with them... Before any of that can happen, the conversation needs to happen. That is an entirely reasonable concept, socialization is what happens when we... socialize - and it not a bad premise, other than the notion they can ever lead healthy normal lives because they aren't healthy or normal, but keep an eye on 'em by all means, you're one of those chick marries mass murderers, Florence Nightingale syndrome or something, and I got nothing against that fetish, you better go find you some you're gonna need 'em, but I just wanted to say, if you do find a cure, "a therapy that works" there are lot of people who would be happy to hear about it, even if it's crazy, but these guys probably never can stop thinking about it, their needles are stuck. But to put a stake in this daddy dom thing forever hopefully, the two things are not only not the same they are essentially in 180 degree opposition: DD is is allowing and adult woman to act out infantile fantasies, with an adult, in an adult context - pedophilia is taking a child and turning them into an adult. Even if one or both of the partners were victims, they are bound by a common experience, and they can act out their roles spontaneously, with control and perspective - I mean I think the most common form of child abuse nowadays is neglect anyway, and a good lover can help you fill in those gaps. It's human, even if some of the shit that happens to people ain't always. Tell me, how do you do that though - there are female pedophiles, not too many go for prepubescent boys I don't believe, but I'd love to keep one tied up in my basement just to make sure. You think they'd go for that? I dunno man, I'm skeptical.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 4:38:20 AM)
Also, it seems we took a different meaning from the article. What I read said that edge play was considered as such because it is a taboo related to incest and/or molestation. After that, it says that when abuse has actually occurred for one or both of the participants, "it is not fantasy and it is not roleplay." You, among others, have stated that my wording is confusing, as is, and left it at that. How would you, or any others reading this, suggest it be worded? This gets tricky, because of the disagreements on terms. One main reason I was confused to begin with is because as a newbie, I found a mentor who told me about Daddy Doms, but only related it to nurturing - a gentle version of a Dom. So, when I actually did enter into a relationship with a Daddy Dom, that is what I thought would be going on. When he wanted me to be a lg and not just a submissive, I read about it and gave it a try. It was difficult for me but I loved him and even in a vanilla relationship I always tried to please my partner. When he then sexualized it, I freaked out and that ended that. Later, he was blatantly clear that he was attracted to children and that freaked me out even more. So, previously, I did listen to these men about who and what Daddy Doms were. I know littles. A part of what is going on is that I now need to sort out what is healthy BDSM and what is not. Were there red flags that I missed? If so, what are they... as they relate specifically to sexualized age play? And, who is considered to be an authority on such things? With diversity, and intolerance for other's kinks present, I'm wondering where "the line" is. If I say, "the difference between edge players and pedophiles is lack of consent and chronological age, only" (which is what one poster here stated) then that leaves the notion that they are both psychologically the same in that they both share fantasies involving the sexualization of children. Indeed, at least 4 posters here did say quite clearly that this is what they are doing in that type of role play. My personal experience, a few here have said, was not "normal" for a Daddy Dom relationship. I suspected that was the case, and hoped it, too, because I'd hate to think that Daddy Doms are like him! My questions were posted here so that I, too, could know what I need to know so that I can recognize what made that relationship abnormal. Rather than limiting the responses to the one-on-one, R/L friends who discuss this with me, I thought it best to ask here, where a consensus might be clear. Do you see what I mean? The guy who called himself a Daddy Dom broke my trust. He taught me things that I thought were true. So, I have to sort out what was real and what was his own twisted agenda. So, I'm asking. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne lw responded to the question, "How did this get to be 10 pages with this comment... quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can. For those who are just now jumping in... the OP questions were revised, early in the thread. When I asked in the OP if we could not defend the DD kink, I meant, DD relationships are fine, I'm talking about DD edge-players only. It was lw's link to an article that gave me the terminology I lacked to state my questions clearly at the beginning. Ironically, lw thinks that I think people should read my mind. I can tell you that she did not read my mind to come up with that. I am aware of thanking people regularly here and cannot remember doing any complaining at all. All in all, just a negative post with no merit. I've seen this a few times over the course of the thread and this is starting to bug Me a bit. I understand that you are attempting to learn something here but you are repeating the same mistake that made this thread so difficult in the first place. See that terminology that you are using (i.e., edge play for those who like a certain type of role play) to correct yourself? Yes, you saw that in the article that littlewonder linked. However, unless they have also read the article, and seen why that particular author describes such as edge play, the reader is not going to understand you. To some people, the type of ROLE PLAY that you are trying to discuss might be edge play to them due to past issues or hurt/harm they have experienced in their lives. To others, it's not edge play at all because they don't consider it a type of play that has risky consequences physically or emotionally. You are going to confuse more people attempting to use edge play as a universal definition when it honestly isn't a perfect fit. Apples are fruit but not all fruit are necessarily apples.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 4:56:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xssve quote: So, for pragmatic reasons... I want pedos to be able to speak up. I want them to be able to seek treatment. I want treatment available to them - you know, treatment that works. I want them to have a healthy and normal life and that means that others in society need to be willing to befriend them, live near them, love them, hire them, work with them... Before any of that can happen, the conversation needs to happen. That is an entirely reasonable concept, socialization is what happens when we... socialize - and it not a bad premise, other than the notion they can ever lead healthy normal lives because they aren't healthy or normal, but keep an eye on 'em by all means, you're one of those chick marries mass murderers, Florence Nightingale syndrome or something, You aren't entirely off there. I do work for human rights and fight against genocide. But, if you want to take a personal interest in me, rather than direct your focus towards the discussion itself, I direct you to my journal in which I describe my views on criminals in my entry about substance abuse. and I got nothing against that fetish, you better go find you some you're gonna need 'em, but I just wanted to say, if you do find a cure, "a therapy that works" there are lot of people who would be happy to hear about it, even if it's crazy, but these guys probably never can stop thinking about it, their needles are stuck. But to put a stake in this daddy dom thing forever hopefully, the two things are not only not the same they are essentially in 180 degree opposition: DD is is allowing and adult woman to act out infantile fantasies, with an adult, in an adult context - pedophilia is taking a child and turning them into an adult. For that statement I bolded above, I'm trying not to call you something that rhymes with "upid." No, pedophilia, when acted upon, actually stunts the emotional growth of the child until some intervention (therapy, etc...) shows that child how to process, and overcome, the damage. Even if one or both of the partners were victims, they are bound by a common experience, and they can act out their roles spontaneously, with control and perspective - I mean I think the most common form of child abuse nowadays is neglect anyway, and a good lover can help you fill in those gaps. It's human, even if some of the shit that happens to people ain't always. Tell me, how do you do that though - there are female pedophiles, not too many go for prepubescent boys I don't believe, but I'd love to keep one tied up in my basement just to make sure. You think they'd go for that? I dunno man, I'm skeptical.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 5:06:55 AM)
Twohearts, what you are incessently and stubbornly refusing to understand is that you are bringing preconceived notions to the discussion that are offensive to those of us who are Daddies. Your original "questions" were written so that they came accross like this: "Maybe you pedophiliac Daddies can answer some questions for me". It's as offensive as people assuming that findom(me)s are whores. You never changed the questions even though you did (finally and NOT "early on in the thread") explain them. I understand that you had a horrible experience. So have a lot of us. That doesn't give you the right to mis-interpret; especially after so many have told you that you are mistaken. I find your continuation to paint anyone with a caring, nurturing, "softer, gentler dominant" relationship style as a sick, depraved individual to be personally insulting and insulting to people who have continually tried to re-educate you; based upon your questions. I think it might behoove you to make an entirely new thread (one with a far less offensive title like: "I Would Like To Ask Some Questions to Daddies") and write some brand-new questions that don't presuppose that the people from whom you're trying to get answers are disgusting, twisted, perverts. Just a suggestion. Peace and comfort, Michael

SinFix -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 5:16:30 AM)
DS, I applaud you for sticking in this thread. I haven't seen one this obtuse in a long time. For what you are not getting is Daddy Doms for the most part have NO attraction to children or wish to act out sexual situations with one ( yes, there are exceptions). They are not using adult women to satisfy some deep dark secret.... DADDY DOMS= caring, nurturing, guiding, mentoring, helping, growth, they embody that loving male role-model that some people enjoy... As to whether a DD is right for you, instead of focusing on some kink, how about you focus on finding a partner that is compatible and right for you and lay off the labels...

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 5:32:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne I am wondering if the BDSM community is simply divided in their opinions, or is there some central, standard of conduct beyond, SSC? Not everyone in the BDSM community follows SSC, personally I can't stand the term and over the years I have began to say that I want no part of it because it is based on personal definitions and bias IMO. quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne Do you have a suggestion for how I can say, "Daddy Doms who are edge-players"? I'm open to suggestions. To ME incest role play and age play is NOT edge play. To ME auto-erotic asphyxiation is edge play. I think when you start using phrases like edge play, you are leaving it open to personal interpretation. Which is why I have an issue with SSC. My suggestion is simply call it what it is , incest role play and age play.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 6:36:06 AM)
DS, page 1, post 12... my idea of "early in the thread" I've deliberately avoided using global words such as, "all," "every," etc... DarkSteven told me to "get off the sex stuff" but that is what my questions involve. Some here say that incest play is great for them. Some say it's sick and they don't want to be associated with it. Some say that all Daddy Doms have some underlying interest in incest or pedophilia (in terms of fantasy and what gets them off). Some say Daddy Doms are nurturers who relate as an authority figures, but they don't age play. Some say Daddy Doms are non-sexual age-players. Some say Daddy Doms are sexual age-players. Are you getting it? There's diversity! Yes, my OP questions were directed towards a very tiny portion of our community. I also made it clear that I do not hate pedophiles. So, comparing them to Daddy Doms who incest play is not so offensive unless you hate pedophiles. I don't. And, here's the thing. If the Daddy Doms who get off on incest play were not so stigmatized in the community, then maybe they would be more up front about their desires. If they are up front, then no "little" is going to be surprised by it later. It's not me who reviles Daddy Dom incest players. If anything, I wish more people would support them so that they can meet their matches. It seems that even other Daddy Doms do not wish to be associated with them. Also, "incessant and stubborn" could also be "determined" and "persistent," if viewed through a positive mind. Although, there's been an evolution since the beginning of the thread. I've adjusted and expanded in response to other people's input. I'm looking at a consensus rather than giving undue weight to any singular point of view. Yes, there are some who agree with you, and there are others who do not. I'm looking at the whole picture. Heck, one fool here suggested that I am doing research for a term paper! LOL My point is that not all posts are equal. I do agree that it is time to end this thread. My revised questions have been answered. I thank everyone for that! Be well.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 6:46:18 AM)
Obtuse? I fail to see how it hurts your world if I am too slow for you. It's an internet thread... can't you focus on what interests you? What you are not getting is that my OP, and from then on... is about the exceptions, a tiny sliver of the whole of Daddy Doms, thus the "please don't defend the DD kink, I"m not talking about that!" Did I word the OP poorly? Yep, that's been covered, repeatedly. My bad. I thought I should cover that repeatedly to correct the original problem and to steer the discussion forward (as late-comers weren't reading the thread before posting). Because my original questions have been answered and new ones formed along the way, I felt I should respond to everyone who posted. So, it got long. Some repetition occurred to help the late-comers who didn't read first. Those two things combined to create a lengthy thread. The repetition does not mean that I didn't learn. However, there are some here who simply do not want me to ask about the psychological relationship between incest/molestation playing Daddy Doms and pedophiles, at all. Previously, someone said they were offended by the two terms being in the same sentence. My reply, "Would you think it was fucked up if I asked about humans and diseased humans in the same sentence?" So, IMO, there's a space in between my failure to use the terms "incest, age, molestation" playing Daddy Doms and the stigma of Daddy Doms clouding up the ability to separate the two. In other words, some posters simply thought I was saying there is something wrong with Daddy Doms - of any ilk. The opposite is true. quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix DS, I applaud you for sticking in this thread. I haven't seen one this obtuse in a long time. For what you are not getting is Daddy Doms for the most part have NO attraction to children or wish to act out sexual situations with one ( yes, there are exceptions). They are not using adult women to satisfy some deep dark secret.... DADDY DOMS= caring, nurturing, guiding, mentoring, helping, growth, they embody that loving male role-model that some people enjoy... As to whether a DD is right for you, instead of focusing on some kink, how about you focus on finding a partner that is compatible and right for you and lay off the labels...

KnightofMists -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 7:04:47 AM)
quote: Question 1 Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults? NO.... pedophile is a sexual orientation ... Daddy Dom is not. quote: Question 2 So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right? every situation should be judged on the merits of the situation... quote: Question 3 Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well: -a self-image as being younger than they really are? -inability to maintain peer relationships? -a need for isolation, control and secrecy? -shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade? - (fill in the blank with your own observations)? Your basic premise seems to see strong similiarities between Daddy Doms and pedophiles. There is not... though I can see pedophiles hiding in the clothing of Daddy Doms.... I don't see it the other way around. but those pedophiles are very good in hiding in alot of different places that serve their interests quote: Question 4 To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this? No quote: Question 5 As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth? Daddy Doms is NOT a preference to Youth.. it's a preference to a style particular dynamic to the relationship. AGE is not the determining or needed factor. quote: Question 6 As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved. I think it would be very sad and frustrating for everyone involved. I don't set myself up for that failure. quote: Question 7 To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community… What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?) Yes there is a difference... one is a sexual orientation... one is a orientation to a relationship dynamic. One is mature and responsible between mature and responsible individuals.. one is not . Personally, I think your issues have to do with your definition of Daddy Doms... for me the two are as different as night and day. I see nothing that concerns me in general about Daddy Doms. Good people are just that Good people. Know the person... and well you can be pretty sure what their relationships are going to be like.

AllisonWilder -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 7:20:52 AM)
If you have this much trouble understanding Daddy Doms, then a Daddy Dom is not what you need. In your eyes, there's some link between Daddy Doms and pedophilia and you will never get over that, the past 12 pages have proven it. Do yourself a favor and focus entirely on finding a person that you are compatible with rather than worrying about the title of a particular group of people that you may or may not want to be in. As far as what to call the specific group of people you're talking about, you'll never please everyone. Basically what you're asking is how do I define someone who calls himself a Daddy Dom but is also a pedophile. That particular person is not an edge-player and that person is not a Daddy Dom. That person is a pedophile, plain and simple. Please stop associating Daddy Dom in any way, shape or form to pedophiles. It's very, very offensive, even after you've 'changed' your questions. One last time. Daddy Doms, as a whole, are NOT pedophiles. Could there be a few lurking in the midst? Yes, just the same as with any other fetish, any other kink, any other organization anywhere in the world. An example: There's a registered sex offender working at the local supermarket down the street as a cashier. This fellow is a pedophile. The leap you are making in your DD to pedophile analogies is like me now saying that because said person working at the local supermarket down the street as a cashier is a pedophile, then ALL supermarket cashiers are pedophiles.

SinFix -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/9/2013 7:33:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne However, there are some here who simply do not want me to ask about the psychological relationship between incest/molestation playing Daddy Doms and pedophiles, at all. Previously, someone said they were offended by the two terms being in the same sentence. My reply, "Would you think it was fucked up if I asked about humans and diseased humans in the same sentence?" So, IMO, there's a space in between my failure to use the terms "incest, age, molestation" playing Daddy Doms and the stigma of Daddy Doms clouding up the ability to separate the two. In other words, some posters simply thought I was saying there is something wrong with Daddy Doms - of any ilk. The opposite is true. No, what people are trying to get you to understand is that, there is no correlation between the two. Yes, in very rare exceptions A Daddy Dom may be hiding behind that mask to work out his pedo tendencies...

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