quote:


Ageplay is not pedophilia or related to pedophilia by professional psychologists.[1] Individuals who ageplay are not attracted to children, but instead enjoy portraying children, or enjoy child-like elements typical of children present in adults.

Sexual ageplay itself does not involve the sexual attraction to biologically underage people. Rather, when a consenting adult takes on the roleplaying mindset of a young person, it is motivated by re-experiencing emotional states and social interactions of one's youth, which also happen to be pleasurable in a sexual context to the participants.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

Are you aware that there are some who are sexually excited by the genitalia being shaven/waxed to the pre-pubescent look? How do we know that this is not one aspect of a pedo channeling a compulsion onto an adult?

Seriously? Yeah and all these years I thought we both just liked me being shaved completely because it's cleaner and neither of us likes pin pricks in the skin from the hair while we're fucking. Silly me.

And all of those years of shaving completely since I was a young teenager had nothing to do with me not having to worry about stray hairs sticking out of bikinis and such. I just liked looking like a pre-pubescent.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

TAFKAA... I'm taking this opportunity to "speak" to you directly, although I've read your posts many times before.

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I've learned to view your input as a sign that a bottom has been reached in human intercourse.

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Perhaps the distinction the moderators see is that intelligent people are able to make... distinctions. (hint - that requires seeing past one's own ego)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

TAFKAA... I'm taking this opportunity to "speak" to you directly, although I've read your posts many times before.
Perhaps the distinction the moderators see is that intelligent people are able to make... distinctions. (hint - that requires seeing past one's own ego)

quote:

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Michael,

I've left you for last because your attitude is kind of stingy/grouchy. Such impatience with people who are learning and don't know it all like you do...

Here's a tribute I wrote for my Daddy Dom who later revealed himself to be something else...

Now, with a better idea of how I feel about Daddy Doms, perhaps my original questions can be seen as dealing with a specific type (and not with the ONE TRUE WAY that you think I should have found already).

In all fairness, by page two, I believe, I revised the question to "Daddy Doms who engage in incest play/and or/ age play." My mistake, but I think it turned out okay because I sought a variety of perspectives and they were generously given. Even those who felt offended, extended a bit of kindness in giving me the benefit of the doubt, in that I mean no offense to others. My heart is in the right place and I've laid my head down here for adjustment. That's all I've got.

I have great admiration for those who tried to help, whether by agreeing, or disagreeing. My questions were "slanted" to point towards a very specific issue - NOT about Daddy Doms as a kink.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm going by what you yourself typed.

Again, read the article I posted.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions:

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?

I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons:
1) Born that way
2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish)
3) Choice.

quote:

Question 2

So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right?

quote:

Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-a self-image as being younger than they really are?

-inability to maintain peer relationships?

-a need for isolation, control and secrecy?

-shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade?

- (fill in the blank with your own observations)?

quote:

Question 4

To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this?

quote:

Question 5

As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth?

quote:

Question 6

As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved.

quote:

Question 7

To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community…

What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?)

quote:

I sincerely hope we can skip the defense of the kink… THAT is not the issue, and there is an abundance of that point of view already. Could we focus on this other concern, please?

Thank you, Everyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Michael,

I've left you for last because your attitude is kind of stingy/grouchy. Such impatience with people who are learning and don't know it all like you do...

Here's a tribute I wrote for my Daddy Dom who later revealed himself to be something else...

Now, with a better idea of how I feel about Daddy Doms, perhaps my original questions can be seen as dealing with a specific type (and not with the ONE TRUE WAY that you think I should have found already).

In all fairness, by page two, I believe, I revised the question to "Daddy Doms who engage in incest play/and or/ age play." My mistake, but I think it turned out okay because I sought a variety of perspectives and they were generously given. Even those who felt offended, extended a bit of kindness in giving me the benefit of the doubt, in that I mean no offense to others. My heart is in the right place and I've laid my head down here for adjustment. That's all I've got.

I have great admiration for those who tried to help, whether by agreeing, or disagreeing. My questions were "slanted" to point towards a very specific issue - NOT about Daddy Doms as a kink.

You might think me "stingy" and "grouchy". That's fine. I would point out that I was not the only person that read your OP the way that I did. So, perhaps it's your communication skills that need some work?

You'll get no argument from me on that point! Yes, and I already do work on my communication skills constantly. This was the best I could come up with. I understand that you think I did a piss-poor job of conveying my respect for DD's, and that some others felt the same. Others, did understand what I was getting at. It's not about which was the majority... for me, it's about making myself clear to everyone. I failed at that this time.

I wrote the post 3 days ago, after weeks and really, months of thought. I had two choices. Keep it to myself or lay it out there and let people's replies guide me to see new things or to see old things in new ways. I chose the latter. I took the risk because after reading the boards for a long time, I've seen how the process does shed light on a topic, and if the OP is open to learning and to adjusting their own position, a sense of understanding arises.

I trust the process here. Imperfect as you say my OP was, I can tell you that I've learned a lot. THAT was my goal. If I'd waited until I could express myself better... well, I'd be just waiting, stuck. Now, many people have given me things to think about and over the next few days and weeks, I will consider what each offered.

It's a long thread, but if you go back to the beginning, I did apologize to anyone who felt offended. I added more background information. And, I refined my question to age-players/incest players who are Daddy Doms. They exist, right? So, even in this thread, I feel I did try to hone my communication. I'm sure it's still far from perfect but the effort and kind heart is there. I can fix writing skills.

That said; I don't really give two squirts about what you wrote for a guy that turned out to be a tree jumper.

Oh my! What is a tree jumper?

I will give you this, from my own experience and you can take or leave it, as needed/wanted:

Yes, Michael, I posted here. That is an invitation to all who wish to give an opinion, post a link for further reading or as in your case... to share a writing of value. No special requests required.

A few people wrote to my Cmail because they don't want to go public with their input. I value their generosity, as well. I'm taking it all in. It's not an easy topic. It's been fraught with emotional land mines, misinterpretations and confusion. Still, I feel anyone who took time from their lives to respond, in any kind of well-intentioned manner, is worthy of my time in truly considering their point of view.

No one person, article, book, etc... is going to be THE answer. I'm struggling to sort things out and this thread helped immensely.

You keep referring to "Daddy dom" as a kink. I guess there are some to whom that applies but there are some of us that are who we are. This is not something I do when a girl is "regressed". I am a nurturer and a protector, all the time. I have only ever been involved with someone who identified as "little" once and, at the risk of sounding as judgemental as your OP, it kind of squigged me out.

No, I came to this identification because someone saw something in me and showed me an essay that I've posted on these boards, before that made me look inwardly and I realized that with a few exceptions, the person who wrote the essay was describing me.

I know that the link that I posted (in another thread) is no longer operational. However, I do have (what I believe to be) the original full text in .doc format and anyone that might like it is more than welcome to it for the asking.

I strongly suggest that while your intent for posting these questions may have been without malice, that is not how your OP came across and you might want to try re-reading things before you post them.

I did my best. That said, I'm glad you decided to offer some of your own perspective, too.

Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady
Just because someone does not attempt the act, it doesn't mean the thought is beyond reproach.
And in this case and to me, it most definitely is.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

-- Aristotle

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

There may be Daddy Doms who have paedophillic urges, but that's a psychosexual disorder belonging to an individual, not relevant to the dynamic as a catch-all label. A paedophile might be able to achieve sexual consummation with an adult, but the compulsion of any psychosexual disorder makes that unlikely to occur as the norm.

People are not specifically unique in their sexuality, or even their practices of sexual behaviour. History bears that out nicely through literature.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions:

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?

I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons:
1) Born that way
2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish)
3) Choice.

There may be Daddy Doms who have paedophillic urges, but that's a psychosexual disorder belonging to an individual, not relevant to the dynamic as a catch-all label. A paedophile might be able to achieve sexual consummation with an adult, but the compulsion of any psychosexual disorder makes that unlikely to occur as the norm.

Okay, it's a "psychosexual disorder." According to whom? I mean that. When crossing that bridge from vanilla to BDSM, many sexual urges which are considered "normal" here, are considered disorders "there." That is why things like "justine's list" on FET exist, so that lifestyle people can find kink-friendly therapists, lawyers, etc...

Another poster, littlewonder, added a link for an article which is very helpful in that it presents points of view which did not otherwise come to my attention. (thank you, again, lw)

People are not specifically unique in their sexuality, or even their practices of sexual behaviour. History bears that out nicely through literature.

Examples? If you mean that there is nothing new under the sun... okay. Still, I find that people are unique beings. We will have to agree to disagree at this point.

quote:

Question 2

So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right?

This question is a blanket I wouldn't crawl under. Whether I might agree with the statement or not, it is a poorly worded assumption aimed at generating a consensus based on a false premise. For that alone, I will not entertain it, let alone support it.

A few littles have expressed their complete revulsion at the thought, so I felt that question was already answered. When you begin to proclaim that you know what someone else's "aim" is, back it up, or back down.

quote:

Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-a self-image as being younger than they really are?

-inability to maintain peer relationships?

-a need for isolation, control and secrecy?

-shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade?

- (fill in the blank with your own observations)?

This is also hopelessly faulty because it is based on several bizarre assumptions. Parents praise their children, give them gifts, and there is a dependency. This is true of parents who are completely sexually functional. Why would you propose a parent might praise their child - might it be, oh, to reinforce their sense of independence and confidence? More to the point, why would you then assign positive actions with negative connotations?

I'd have to say that this part was poorly worded. The list is known qualities of pedophiles. I was expecting, and got, answers as to how there are indeed differences. I have to think more because so much information came in one day, but for now, I can say that it seems the differences involve basic mental health and boundary issues. Daddy Doms have health, pedophiles do not.

As for parents' behavior... some is good, some not.

As a Daddy Dom with peer relationships established, who is quite comfortable with his age, I would be more inclined to wonder why you chose these speculations. It's more amusing when I consider that you've been gawking at my profile on the other side. (How's that for ashamed and secretive?)

Ashamed and secretive? Huh? I'm not making that connection. As for "gawking," I can't remember that last time I gawked! LOL But, seriously, you posted on another thread... something about "wearing feet on her ears." I laughed so hard at your reply, I looked at your profile to see if you were a writer. You, in that instance, showed skill with wielding a word. When I read your profile and some of your journal, I chose not to know you any further. I don't recall why. I'd forgotten all about it. Now that you mention it, do you feel entitled to some sort of announcement when others view your profile? If you do, okay, good luck with that.

quote:

Question 4

To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this?

Irrelevant to me, as I have not watched this movie. I am, in fact, disinclined to do so now, based on the source.

quote:

Question 5

As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth?

Also irrelevant, as you are directing your comment to submissives; but let me toss into the ring the fact that I am a single father, and as such most of your allegations to this point have struck me as fascination masked by a facade of righteousness.

Sometimes people fill in the blanks with their own "stuff." Others responded to this with "Daddy Doms do not all have a preference for youth." That was clear and understandable and I am accepting that as accurate. I asked. I was answered. I learned.

quote:

Question 6

As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved.

Paedophiles are not attracted to a look, they are attracted to youth. Daddy Doms are not attracted to a fantasy, they are attracted to a dynamic. This dynamic can be nurturing and positive in ways that have nothing whatsoever to do with appearances.

I hope you meant that Daddy Doms are attracted to a person... not a dynamic.
As for pedophiles, there is research that suggests that they are attracted (on some level) to women who have child-like bodies. This may be a body that has a belly larger than breasts, mimicking the pre-pubescent body shape. Furthermore, pedophiles may seek out relationships with these women for access to their children. But, I digress...

When considering where to post my questions, I rejected the "Ask a..." options because I felt it better to invite all points of view. I think this question was answered indirectly, but completely, with repeated mentions of physical looks not being primary to a Daddy Dom relationship.

quote:

Question 7

To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community…

What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?)

This wildly biased and indeed, craptacular question is not even worth the effort of deconstructing. In light of your comments thereafter descrying the defense of kink, I will instead appeal to your common sense, skewed as it may be, and ask you to try learning before judging. I understand that doing so, as a general rule, allows for education in lieu of rhetoric.

I'm here to learn. The overall message of your post is, "I'm angry." Okay.

quote:

I sincerely hope we can skip the defense of the kink… THAT is not the issue, and there is an abundance of that point of view already. Could we focus on this other concern, please?

Thank you, Everyone.

I would hope that you are learning from the comments in this thread. Some comments will come across as unkind; observing the blatant bias of most of your post, I would fail to see how you could not have expected this. Despite any perceived slights, however, it is my fervent hope that you are willing to approach this topic again by asking before assuming, so that you might be learning, instead of projecting. If you have serious questions demonstrating a desire to learn, I will gladly address them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

There may be Daddy Doms who have paedophillic urges, but that's a psychosexual disorder belonging to an individual, not relevant to the dynamic as a catch-all label. A paedophile might be able to achieve sexual consummation with an adult, but the compulsion of any psychosexual disorder makes that unlikely to occur as the norm.

People are not specifically unique in their sexuality, or even their practices of sexual behaviour. History bears that out nicely through literature.

Thank you for this! This expresses perfectly what I wasn't able to put into words.

OP - you keep re-asking the same question which boils down to 'do doms age play because they have fantasies about molesting children?'

My questions evolved as I read responses.

The first was that my original question should have specified "age-players/incest players" and not the overall label of Daddy Doms. I did consider that before I posted, but up until now, it appeared that each individual had their own idea of what a Daddy Dom is, so I left it open. LilSquaw and AShiningLight both posted ideas that made me re-think and adjust my original thoughts on this.

The second was that it seems most agree that age play need not, and usually does not, equate with sexual play during regression. That was made clear by DarkSteven, and others.


You've had some really good answers explaining why this isn't true but you seem to keep re-phrasing the question to try and get someone to admit this is the case.

Hmmm, okay, I don't know that I am doing that. I think I'm refining the questions as I learn more. It's been a lot to assimilate in a very short time, so perhaps I am repeating myself as I respond to each post. I am certain that I'm not trying to "get someone to admit this is the case." I can't hold an original set of ideas AND learn at the same time, so I am not attached to my original questions or thoughts. I'm moving along with new information... perhaps too slowly.

The people in this thread have hundreds of years of combined experience and have given you perspectives from all over the map - not one has said 'yes I am attracted to children and that's what I'm acting out'.

At some point, back a few pages, I had the thought that even if it were true, who would admit it here? So, I gave that up as an unanswerable question. This is not to negate the input of the forum participants, rather, an additional observation to be considered along with what they each conveyed.

As for the combined experience of the posters... yes, I know that. That is exactly why I posted to begin with. I've read threads for almost 2 years now and I treasure the process this forum offers.

They've told you they like to nurture, or role play, or appreciate child-like qualities in partners, or that it's a safe place away from concerns of the world.

Yes, the non/sexual, age-players did say that. I'm going to re-read to be sure I've got a better grasp on the perspectives. I may have missed something or misunderstood, so I need some time to just do that.

Ummm, in the article littlewonder posted, it does address sexual play during age play. I am only halfway through reading it and I think I should finish it before asking anything more here.


There may well be a few Daddy doms out there who are ALSO paedophiles. It doesn't mean that all, or even many, daddy doms share those same deep motivations. It just so happens that the two groups cross over at some point - paedophilia occurs in all walks of human life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions:

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons:
1) Born that way
2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish)
3) Choice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
Question 2

So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-a self-image as being younger than they really are?

-inability to maintain peer relationships?

-a need for isolation, control and secrecy?

-shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade?

- (fill in the blank with your own observations)?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
Question 4

To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
Question 5

As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
Question 6

As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Question 7

To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community…

What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?)

I sincerely hope we can skip the defense of the kink… THAT is not the issue, and there is an abundance of that point of view already. Could we focus on this other concern, please?

Thank you, Everyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA
No, the distinction the moderators see is that one poster is a dominant male and the other is female. That is all. And it's something which has become blatantly obvious to all but the most thick-headed observers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA
No, the distinction the moderators see is that one poster is a dominant male and the other is female. That is all. And it's something which has become blatantly obvious to all but the most thick-headed observers.

Bless your heart.

I just cannot see how you can still be so confused about the problems you have with moderation here, it's something that is blatantly obvious to all but the most thick-headed observers.