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am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 5:57:04 AM

GoddessBych21

Posts: 28
Joined: 7/22/2012
Status: offline

Seriously am I ugly? Noone ever talks to me on here or is interested in me :(

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 6:03:25 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessBych21
Seriously am I ugly? Noone ever talks to me on here or is interested in me :(

Just as we tell dominant men all the time when they are shocked women don't magically submit to them, attracting someone here is not much different from attracting someone in the vanilla world.

My suggestions: take different photos, where you are wearing more clothes and smiling; and start lifting weights so your body looks more toned and curvy. Carrying the weight you have better is something realistic you could do pretty quickly, instead of waiting for a long-term goal like "I won't date until I reach my ideal dress size."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to GoddessBych21)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 6:32:14 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

You're a married woman looking for another woman to come to you for play sessions only.

Most women prefer men to another woman.
Most women like relationships instead of one-off play sessions.

You're catering to a limited crowd. And from the sounds of things, you might be sitting back waiting for women to contact you instead of taking the first step.

Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 7:19:00 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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Ugly doesn't come into it. Whatever you look like, there's probably a bunch of people who think you're just gorgeous.

You are looking for something really rare. A LOT of people here are looking for women for just play/sex sessions. There are not that many women who want to be that play thing. You need to find someone who is ok with you being married. Your competition is steep.

You need to sell yourself. Make some effort. Re-write your profile using capital letters and say what you have to offer this person - not just the things you want them to try with you.

Make it very clear what you are offering in terms of relationship - are these one-offs? A long term play relationship? Friends with benefits? Why should they pick you and not the hundreds of others seeking?

Your pictures might be successful with a male audience but in my experience women tend to be less impressed with naked mirror shots - they usually want to know a bit more about the person before they see everything. Think about your audience. Your username might also be putting some people off, I know words like 'goddess' and 'bitch' make some people roll their eyes - I'm not saying you should change it, but be aware that all of these things add up to create an impression of you which some will like and some will not.

Bear in mind that a lot of women who are looking for female play partners also get a lot of mail. Make yourself stand out when you contact them (yes, you will have to do the chasing). Make it clear whether they will meet your husband (most will want to, to verify everyone is on board) and whether your husband ever plans to join in with the play - if so, start a couple's profile so that you are being honest up front.

Have fun, play safe etc.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to GoddessBych21)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 7:58:12 AM

Switcheroo1983

Posts: 238
Joined: 1/29/2013
Status: offline

Just saying, GoddessBych21, you are very pretty!

Just to echo what has been said, you are, per your profile, working with a smaller crowd. I would never play with a married woman or man, I am not alone in that, even if their spouse is OK with it. My advice, just keep fishing, you'll catch something!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 8:06:03 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

Goddess B. You live fairly close by (yes, I know Im not what you're looking for). There is a really active group of kinksters with a lot of nice folks that I've met in Greeneville. Look them up on FET. We also have 2 active groups up here in the tri cities but the Greeneville group would be closer to you.
Cmail me on the other side if you want more info.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Switcheroo1983)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 4:12:47 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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I don't think looks come into it much. First, like Athena pointed out...you are using marketing tools that attract the wrong customer :).
If you were looking for men, photos of large cleavage & discussion of kinks...they like that. Women-& I have no experience with attempting to do so but I think women are women and some stuff is hard wired no matter what our sexual preferences- like a connection..we like to think that, even for hookups or play...we are special & that the other person wants US & not just a few select body parts. The other thing, and this is a problem I have heard from others, is switches don't get a lot of respect here (not saying true or not or why that happens). Many (check out their board) have similar complaints. Have you looked in different venues? The one guy mentioned finding local people.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 4:18:47 PM

agent0fchaos

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/31/2013
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Something I'm learning is that being married is generally a limiting factor for most people, especially if you're open about the fact.

Also, I agree with the idea that your photos are more for guys than for girls, in general. I'd prefer to see your face, and maybe something sensual but not overtly sexual. That's one woman's opinion though.

That said, don't stress. It takes time. Women are a very small portion of the available market. Women who will play with couples even more so.

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So quick bright things come to confusion.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 5:01:15 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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OP - I've hooked up with lots of women, all of whom I meet offline. If I were you, I'd take HillWilliam up on his kind offer to help connect you to the local groups.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Goddess B. You live fairly close by (yes, I know Im not what you're looking for). There is a really active group of kinksters with a lot of nice folks that I've met in Greeneville. Look them up on FET. We also have 2 active groups up here in the tri cities but the Greeneville group would be closer to you.
Cmail me on the other side if you want more info.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 5:11:54 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

Count your blessings, because there are a lot of idiots on the other side. Have confidence, be secure in who you are and what you want, and potentials will come.

(in reply to GoddessBych21)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 5:14:31 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

On top of everything everyone has already mentioned, rework your profile. You have a ton of spelling errors and grammar mistakes. And it looks like you created it on your iphone with all the text speak in it. Plus remove the negative comment on your journal. It just makes you look desperate and whiney.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to GoddessBych21)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 6:22:25 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

On top of everything everyone has already mentioned, rework your profile. You have a ton of spelling errors and grammar mistakes. And it looks like you created it on your iphone with all the text speak in it. Plus remove the negative comment on your journal. It just makes you look desperate and whiney.

Which is what I have thought about this post. Someone needing a self esteem boost fishing for compliments.

(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 6:44:47 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

OP - I've hooked up with lots of women, all of whom I meet offline. If I were you, I'd take HillWilliam up on his kind offer to help connect you to the local groups.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Goddess B. You live fairly close by (yes, I know Im not what you're looking for). There is a really active group of kinksters with a lot of nice folks that I've met in Greeneville. Look them up on FET. We also have 2 active groups up here in the tri cities but the Greeneville group would be closer to you.
Cmail me on the other side if you want more info.

Good luck.

Hell even if you're looking for women give hilly a gander & report back!! We want to know how big that chicken is

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 10:59:55 PM

Akrotiri

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/6/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

You have a ton of spelling errors and grammar mistakes.

That's what I was thinking also!

(in reply to littlewonder)

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Post #: 14

RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/7/2013 11:02:39 PM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessBych21

Seriously am I ugly? Noone ever talks to me on here or is interested in me :(

Well - did it work for you?

(in reply to GoddessBych21)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/8/2013 4:33:43 PM

descrite

Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline

It has taken all the restraint I have not to leave the post:

"Yeah. You're ugly."

Not because it's true (it's not), but because, on the heels of all the prior posts, it would be really, really, funny.

If I am a troll, I am a different kind of troll, it seems.

(in reply to pompeii)

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RE: am i ugly or somethi - 2/8/2013 4:41:31 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

I don't think that would be quite appropriate at this juncture. On the other hand it appears too late...

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

It has taken all the restraint I have not to leave the post:

"Yeah. You're ugly."

Not because it's true (it's not), but because, on the heels of all the prior posts, it would be really, really, funny.

If I am a troll, I am a different kind of troll, it seems.