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Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 1:50:19 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person? Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with? Or has your "gut" feeling betrayed you in the past and you no longer trust that feeling? When you look back on the mistakes you've made do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?
 
Jewel

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 1:53:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		In terms of first meets and "twinges" in terms of whether someone is a "good guy" or a "bad guy" yes I listen to my intuitions and they seem to have served me well.

In terms of being in long term relationships, I have done the "OK everything sucks BUT I want it to work SO bad and can't be the one to end it" thing for wayyyyy too long and not listened to what I knew was right.  I suck at the ending relationships thing.


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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 1:53:24 PM   
Taylore


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person? Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with? Or has your "gut" feeling betrayed you in the past and you no longer trust that feeling? When you look back on the mistakes you've made do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?
 
Jewel

I try to always trust my instincts. Just because a relationship does not work out does not mean that my instincts about the person were wrong; only that we were wrong for each other.

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:00:56 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear ShiftedJewel, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I do honor my gut instincts.  I believe when humans first walked the earth, we were given nature's tools to survive.
 
Just like creatures on earth today, we all have primal instincts that kick in when survival is at risk.  What humans have over primal instincts, is the ability to override the primal and make a choice, which might be totally against the 'gut' instincts that warn.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:06:17 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person? Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with? Or has your "gut" feeling betrayed you in the past and you no longer trust that feeling? When you look back on the mistakes you've made do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?
 
Jewel


My instinct (or intuition) is usually dead-on.  But sometimes its  like I have to go far enough to make sure Im right.   And then I end up hurt or disppointed...and yes I do analyze it afterwards.  Having the intuition is the easy part; *yielding to it* is something Im still working on.


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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:09:35 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Hi ShiftedJewel,
Absolutely I trust my instincts. I have more than "instincts" to trust though. I have a 6th sense about people, places and events. I inherited it from my mother as she did from her mother. Being indian may contribute to this.
 
Now----
 
Do I listen to it? Not always. I am a firm believer of altering lifes plans for myself. If I know that something is going to happen that may cause me heartbreak, I don't always take the path of least resistence. I will go into the situation with my eyes wide open and damn all the warning bells and whistles. Like someone posted here not to long ago, it is through suffering that we truly discover the wisdom inside of us. Does this make me a sucker for pain? Maybe, but if the pain causes me to learn from my experience, then it is welcomed.

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:10:57 PM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		When meeting poeple face to face, whether for business or personal, I have found my instincts to be very accurate. I have had to over the years to learn to trust my instincts and even to this day I sometimes struggle when other people tell me differently. I am striving to rely on them without question eventually.

Now Emails and telephone calls in this setting I have learned that my instincts need to go right out the window. I have thought for sure too many times I am dealing with a honest and other things person only to find out as we went down the path of emails the person turned into something else.


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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:18:45 PM   
D1961wildchild


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		Well hate to be different ... but hey as a general rule my instincts suck big time ... world of hurt out there for the trusting so yeah I fall into the group of jaded and carefull ... thank god Sir has good instincts ... my rule now is when in doubt trust in His judgement and this seems to work for me.

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:19:49 PM   
gypsyssoul


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Balti., Maryland, living in Summerville SC
Status: offline
to say i try .. but even trusting myself at times is hard ..
and yes we all live and learn from mistakes ..
we are suppose to take away from every bad thing 2 good things that help us in the future
i hold to that ... but i should be learning like ..498 things next time lol ...
i try to trust myself .. and my gut
but i often let myself down . .but the fear comes from me
and the fear of failing ... not from the other person persay


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~~ blessed be

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:21:12 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		I'm a poker player. Usually go with my gut until something gives me reason for pause...

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:24:36 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		i always listen to the instinct but sometimes i tell it to go away in the hopes that it will be wrong atleast this time.  But alas those are the times it went bad.  Such as first marriage well he looked good, felt good, loved that bad boy, knew i should run and stayed and the best thing happened i had my son then got rid of the bad boy and life improved.  Listening is important but many good things can still happen from the bad so i will never regret the bad boy just should have left as soon as the good happened lol.  OOOO i am not a nice sub today, sighs need a good spanking oh well will have to hold onto that urge another day or two.  Dang not sure i want to listen to that instinct either could have very colorful results. lol

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:31:22 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

When talking with someone new to you do you trust your instincts about that person? Have you ever met someone and you just "know" that this person is someone you could really connect with? Or has your "gut" feeling betrayed you in the past and you no longer trust that feeling? When you look back on the mistakes you've made do you ever try and analyze the why and how it happened and how it could have been different?
 
Jewel


Yes :)


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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 2:54:57 PM   
BuxomGoddess714


Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


Absolutely I trust my instincts. I have more than "instincts" to trust though. I have a 6th sense about people, places and events. I inherited it from my mother as she did from her mother. Being indian may contribute to this.
 
Now----
 
Do I listen to it? Not always. I am a firm believer of altering lifes plans for myself. If I know that something is going to happen that may cause me heartbreak, I don't always take the path of least resistence. I will go into the situation with my eyes wide open and damn all the warning bells and whistles. Like someone posted here not to long ago, it is through suffering that we truly discover the wisdom inside of us. Does this make me a sucker for pain? Maybe, but if the pain causes me to learn from my experience, then it is welcomed.


Well said.  I am Indian also and can read people.  Not their minds, but that they are not honest or sincere.  Every single time someone has betrayed or wronged me, I sensed it coming all along.  I made a very conscious CHOICE to give them the benefit of the doubt, hoped they would rise to their higher self, step up to the plate, or maybe become a better person for knowing me.  Everyone has free will and everyone can make a choice to change, if they want to.  They usually walk away better for the experience, I learn something about them and myself, but I always get the worst of it and end up hurt by them when I knowingly expose myself to someone I suspected from the first moment was trouble.  Some people tell me this is being kind and open, to give people chances.  Before I was a mother, I wasn't this way... I didn't take crap from anyonel.  Some of my friends want the "Old Goddess" back who never gets hurt.  I am struggling with all of that....   

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:18:24 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes i trust mine.. ( i should never ignore it )One relationship, gut feeling was great and so was the relationship. Then the day came i was sat down and asked about being co-owned Gut feeling was - there is some thing just doesn't feel right with this deal but i agreed and it was done. - felt my gut was wrong that time. It wasn't ended up getting terribly hurt.

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:20:42 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I used to trust my instincts but not anymore.

I was burnt very badly and I mean very badly. I had no reason to doubt this woman, I knew all her private info, she had a good professional position, she was a drug clinic director, I trusted her implicitly. How stupid that was. Her personality appeared to change in the wink of an eye, though that is just a perception of course. She watched me throw so much away for her and then she dumped me. I asked her for an explaination in a very reasonable manner but she refused to give me one. I said if she can't give me an explaination, she should at least apologize. She refused. If she had given me an explanation or an apology I would have been none the wiser as to how deceitful she was because I would have simply walked away but she refused, mainly because I think she is psychologically incapable of apologizing for anything. She just rationalised her behaviour. I told her that from my perspective, on the evidence, her behaviour was malicious in the extreme. No apology, she just called me crazy for wanting an explanation and said I should seek therapy.

Looking back I think she was just sexually frustrated and a cock tease. It seems she was a pathological cock tease. She always had reasons not to meet and when there were no more reasons thats when she dumped me. This was after she incessently complained that I was not doing anything about the reasons why we couldn't meet which were illogical and irrational but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I had fallen for her in a big way.

Basically I was stupid and gullible and generally trusted people to be honest and have some integrity and thought she possessed these virtues in copius amounts. She was just a liar, a hypocrite, malicious and a moral coward. Other than that I don't know why she behaved like she did as she has always refused to answer any pertinent questions, prefering to lie to her friends and rationalise her behaviour.

If she was a man she wouldn't be walking now but unfortunately she is a woman and I don't hit women. I don't so much hate her for what she did to me but for the fact I find it difficult to trust people any more.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 6/20/2006 3:23:52 PM >

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:21:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My inuitition has never been wrong, I just have at times not paid attention to it.  Many of us have been taught not to listen to that voice deep inside, or we prefer denial to truth.

I have looked back when I have misjudged things and it turned out I had not misjudged at all, I chose to ignore red flags and intuition. I have gotten to the point in my life where I very much trust myself to make good choices for me. It is a great feeling.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:29:20 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		My gut has never lied to me ... however, I've often lied to myself.

~enthralled

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:30:06 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have looked back when I have misjudged things and it turned out I had not misjudged at all, I chose to ignore red flags and intuition. I have gotten to the point in my life where I very much trust myself to make good choices for me. It is a great feeling.


I think this was one of my problems. Looking back, there were so many red flags to suggest she was not as honest and trustworthy as what she made herself out to be, I really only have myself to blame. There were enough signs to suggest she was never as good as her word.

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:39:01 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		I honestly think I trust my instincts better than much other information that I get. It's one reason that I like to meet in person before I make any kind of commitments to train or accept service.

One of the purposes that I serve in my capacity as co-matriarch of our house is attending to the ethereal needs of our household. As such, my intuition and my empathy are two of my most useful tools. If they set off my "radar", for good or for bad, it will definitely impact their likelihood of finding a place with us.

I don't trust a great deal of what is in profiles or said in emails -- many people will say whatever they need to to get to where they need to be. I prefer to trust my instincts after direct contact with the person -- most of the time, it turns out to be accurate.

ZWD

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RE: Do you trust your instincts? - 6/20/2006 3:47:38 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		I would say that generally yes, I can trust my instincts.

I usually do pretty well, and try to walk the fine line between caution and paranoia. But occasionally someone sneaks past, like in my last relationship. I was 100% sure that he would deal honestly with me. I'm still not quite sure how, or why, he pulled what he did. Doubt I'll ever know. I do know it's made me even less trusting.

In some ways I feel as though the smarter I become about catching onto to the subtle clues, the better the gameplayers get at hiding them.

It sucks.

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