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Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 5:15:52 AM   
nighttimekiss


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/21/2012
Status: offline 		Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 5:20:16 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me



To ME the only real way to know if someone is "genuine" or who / what they claim to be is through real life interaction. That means setting up a meeting, having face to face conversation. During email exchangs, IM conversations or even webcam conversations it is easy to "fake it." Plus you are missing a lot of social cues.

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Lifestyle & ProSwitch
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(in reply to nighttimekiss)
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 5:55:29 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me


It depends what you mean by 'genuine'.

The easiest way is 'hey, wanna meet for coffee on Saturday?'

If you mean 'are they really the age/gender they claim to be?' chatting on webcam might help. If you mean 'are they really dominant/submissive' you just have to get to know them. If you mean 'are they looking for an actual relationship rather than just jerking off online' going on a date is a good first step (not to mention a profile which is all dick pics and fantasies should tip you off). If you mean 'are they a scammer' then generally scammers will start asking for money pretty early on, asking for money for plane tickets or such. If you mean 'not an asshole' - well that just counts on you having good social skills and figuring a person out.

Also consider your profile - it says nothing about you, shows no personality and doesn't even make it clear whether you are looking for long term, or play partners, or no-strings. It won't put off people who are just looking for online kink, scammers or creeps, but it might just put off someone who is looking for something more.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to nighttimekiss)
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 12:20:10 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me


There are no "fake people", just an awful lot of jerks and time-wasters who are simply too real. So forget the D/s for a minute and know that people are exactly the same in every walk of life - genuine/sincere/trustworthy at one end to wankers/liars/users at the other and every possible degree in between.

You "know" the difference by having some measure of life experience and trusting your own instincts about whether what you're reading seems sincere, and if it's specifically aimed at you - as opposed to some generic form letter being rehashed. Says you're 32, you should know a thing or two about jerks vs genuine....

Also says you're female, submissive and new to it all - that combination makes you a prime target for every horny, time-wasting jerk out there.

Welcome to the lifestyle (anyway... lol) and to the Forums. :)

Focus.

_____________________________

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 2:11:54 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		There is no secret to discovering if someone is the right someone for you.  It takes time, lots of getting to know you time, face to face, in person.  Then it's up to you to take the information you have and make a decision. 

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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 4:18:59 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me

If she's sucking my dick, she may just be real

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to nighttimekiss)
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 4:33:54 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me



To ME the only real way to know if someone is "genuine" or who / what they claim to be is through real life interaction. That means setting up a meeting, having face to face conversation. During email exchangs, IM conversations or even webcam conversations it is easy to "fake it." Plus you are missing a lot of social cues.


^^^ What she said.^^^

And, by the way, a profile that says nothing but, "IM LOU AND IM VERY NEW TO THIS CAN U SHOW ME THE WAY" is an open invitation to every cyberdom on CM to send you messages.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/15/2013 5:53:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		By talking to them.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Genuine or not - 2/16/2013 10:49:23 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		In addition to what everyone else said, which was all good valuable advice, you can get clues from people's profiles. If it's all about fantasy stuff, "I will keep you locked up in my dungeon 24 hours a day" etc, and a bunch of porn photos, they're probably not seriously looking for a real-life relationship. If they talk about who they are as a person, what their personal (non-sexual) interests are, stuff that's grounded in reality, they're more likely to be sincerely looking for a relationship.

(in reply to nighttimekiss)
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RE: Genuine or not - 2/16/2013 11:57:04 AM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline
quote:

a lot of fake people messaging me


I don't understand what you're asking or why, because if you hadn't figured it out you wouldn't know they were fakes.

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What you permit, you promote.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Genuine or not - 2/16/2013 2:40:38 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


If she's sucking my dick, she may just be real


That's a superb method, Kana!

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Genuine or not - 2/16/2013 11:02:46 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		It's the open mouth test.
"Lets play Watergate. You can be Deep Throat."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Genuine or not - 2/17/2013 3:04:20 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Your getting a lot of messages?!
Your doing better than me buddy so don't be so
quick to knock it.

How do you know that they are fake anyway if
your asking here for pointers for telling if
someone is genuine?

Don't send people money, and it doesn't matter
if they are fake by any definition.




_____________________________

530 DAYS

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Genuine or not - 2/17/2013 5:51:08 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Your getting a lot of messages?!
Your doing better than me buddy so don't be so
quick to knock it.

How do you know that they are fake anyway if
your asking here for pointers for telling if
someone is genuine?

Don't send people money, and it doesn't matter
if they are fake by any definition.



ARIES83, the OP is female.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Genuine or not - 2/17/2013 10:08:14 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Ah-so, it all suddenly seems so clear.



_____________________________

530 DAYS

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Genuine or not - 2/18/2013 2:57:52 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline 		Check the inside tag on their pajamas.

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The asshole formerly known as Awareness

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RE: Genuine or not - 2/19/2013 9:40:06 PM   
Craftsman


Posts: 885
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

Check the inside tag on their pajamas.

Pyjamas? What are pyjamas? What is the use for and of pyjamas?

_____________________________

You do not have to be perfect to be perfect.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Genuine or not - 2/20/2013 12:09:26 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Craftsman


quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

Check the inside tag on their pajamas.

Pyjamas? What are pyjamas? What is the use for and of pyjamas?
All Dominants wear bitchin' pajamas. How could you not know this?

_____________________________

The asshole formerly known as Awareness

(in reply to Craftsman)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Genuine or not - 2/20/2013 5:53:07 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		There should be a list of all the real people.

That would make things a lot easier on the rest of us.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to TAFKAA)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Genuine or not - 2/20/2013 11:28:27 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nighttimekiss

Hi I'm Lou and my question is how do u tell if someone is genuine I keep getting a lot of fake people messaging me


Rule Number 1: Be a little skeptical and suspicious by default. Don't gobble up preferred illusions of who might be on the other end. If you're in control of your own passions and remain a faithful servant of reason, you won't be easily lured to believe in nonsense.

Rule Number 2: Keep in mind that the amount of attention you receive should be directly proportional to your visibility on any given network. It takes time and effort to be noticed online these days. If you're seldom active but a hot, barely legal porn star quality bombshell is messaging you out of the blue anyway, there's a good chance the profile is fake and selling something.

Rule Number 3: Note that sincere human interaction is usually organic: it does not initiate conversation randomly and blindly like a phone sex sales pitch. Most people who come to you speaking of their desire do so after observing you for some time. They write thoughtfully and not in coyish riddles. The dialog is easy.

Rule Number 4: Get a telephone number fairly soon if conversation persists and seems to hold merit. Meet fairly soon (your call on that) after this period if communications continue to go well. Don't accept any excuses why neither are feasible.

Follow these rules and you'll avoid wasting a lot of time. Ignore them at your own risk.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to nighttimekiss)
Profile   Post #: 20
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