Why is this so hard to do?

Why is this so hard to do? (Full Version)

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yugla -> Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 4:52:55 PM)
Why is it that a simple request to prove ones truthfulness or existence is such a great conversation stopper ; a simple iChat or yahoo Im? That was most common a decade ago and was expected by both genders. It is still quit prevalent with other dating sites but shunned on Collar me? Be Well PS and I do not mean upon first communication or a request to cam naked or for a profile that is obviously fake.

sexyred1 -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 4:57:08 PM)
Because strangers don't owe you to prove their existence? I personally hate Yahoo IM and never would use it, nor would I cam. I have one, but have no interest in it. If someone wants to know me they give me their phone number after a few emails and I call them. If that goes well, we meet up fairly quickly. That is it.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:04:49 PM)
You might as well as why is it so hard to have a normal conversation through email until you get to know someone well enough that all parties feel comfortable exchanging that information? People move at different rates and some don't give out a messenger ID for months. Others feel the fact that you're asking for it is a red flag. Maybe it's a conversation stopper because the people didn't feel the need to prove anything to you and felt their time would be better spent with someone who is less suspicious. If your character assessment skills are so lacking that you need to verify someone is who they say they are through some other means than email, you've got a problem. Quite frankly, if you wanted to verify me and demanded my chat ID before I was good and ready to give it, I'd tell you to fuck off and move on to someone else. Ain't nobody got time for that.

OsideGirl -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:13:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yugla Why is it that a simple request to prove ones truthfulness or existence is such a great conversation stopper ; a simple iChat or yahoo Im? My point of view is that if you start everything off with the assumption that I'm lying and I need to prove otherwise, I wouldn't be interested.

jlf1961 -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:18:03 PM)
I admit that I am not real, I am the physical manifestation of everyone's worst nightmares.

Notsweet -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:19:43 PM)
It depends on how many emails have alreaady taken place. You don't need to get that personal in the first email. That's time to get to know someone at the most shallow end of the pool. Otherwise, you end up wanting to chew your arm off just to get out of the first meeting coffee.

Notsweet -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:21:54 PM)
Well, he DID say not at the first communication. I guess if I'm gonna start talking about my junk to somebody, I'd kind of like some affirmation that it isn't my ex, or a cousin or something. Ya know?

Notsweet -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 5:42:46 PM)
And his profile is pretty funny :)

LadyPact -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:02:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Notsweet And his profile is pretty funny :) It must have improved since the last thread the OP wrote. [8D] OP, I guess I just feel at this point in the venture, if somebody felt that I had to get on cam to prove Myself, they'd have to be pretty darn lazy in not doing the research for themselves. I've presented at major venues and multiple day events. (Easily verified.) I've met hundreds of people on these forums. (Easily verified.) I've been a member of BDSM and leather community groups across the country for several years. (Easily verified.) If none of that was good enough, I can easily be found at My local munch at one time or another in any given month. I'm always more than happy to say hello to a new acquaintance there.

Notsweet -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:13:52 PM)
LadyPact, just took a peek at your presenters list, and damn, it's a small, small world!

DesFIP -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:20:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl My point of view is that if you start everything off with the assumption that I'm lying and I need to prove otherwise, I wouldn't be interested. This, in spades. I don't want to spend any time with people who obviously get their jollies from negative emotions. And it doesn't matter. Until and unless I decide to meet you, I'm just another cyber person. And you don't need to know anything about the reality of those who you aren't meeting in real life. Now, if you want to set up a pic exchange in order to recognize each other in the coffee shop, that's one thing. But wanting this in order to enhance your wanking experience is not my problem.

LadyPact -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:20:31 PM)
Yes, it really is and that is part of what I mean. Thank you for reminding Me of the degree of separation factor. The 'ok, I've never met you, but we both have met this person in common' and that really extends the circle.

OsideGirl -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:42:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I can easily be found at My local munch at one time or another in any given month. I'm always more than happy to say hello to a new acquaintance there. This is true as well. When I was single I was pretty active in the local community. I attended the OC and LA socials and at least twice a month a group of us would go to the Lair and socialize out on the patio. If you couldn't figure out that I was real, it was on you, not me. Although, I did learn my lesson about arranging meets at the socials. It can make them difficult to get rid of if you feel you're not a match.

DarkSteven -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:43:38 PM)
When I was looking, I'd talk with women to determine compatibility. Sense of humor, intelligence, attitudes about money, tolerance toward other viewpoints, etc. Real women appreciated the time spent getting to know each other. That's always been my method.

Notsweet -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 6:49:46 PM)
Lady Pact, I'm kind of tickled about that. Though why I assume people I talk to here wouldn't know people I know all over the place is beyond me, LOL.

LadyPact -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 7:35:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl This is true as well. When I was single I was pretty active in the local community. I attended the OC and LA socials and at least twice a month a group of us would go to the Lair and socialize out on the patio. If you couldn't figure out that I was real, it was on you, not me. Although, I did learn my lesson about arranging meets at the socials. It can make them difficult to get rid of if you feel you're not a match. I think that last part happens to everyone on occasion. At the same time, I was safer in that club than anywhere else in the city. (Thinking Atlanta, GA on this one.) One of the few places that MP never had to worry about Me during those times that he was deployed. I'll tell you an old one from more than five and a half/almost six years ago. The first time that clip ever came to meet Me was back when I was still on ALT and a number of us used to arrange our plans to go to the club in Atlanta from that site. Back then, it was a good way for Me to finalize plans when I was coming from out of town. We always had a routine of meeting up a a restaurant that was just around the corner before going to the club. In his excitement, clip confused that with the time that the club opened. In the middle of dinner with thirty other people, I get a call on My cell from the manager on staff for the club. "Uh, LP...... There's a guy here looking for you. Do you know about this guy? I'm a little concerned."

ResidentSadist -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 7:54:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: yugla Why is it that a simple request to prove ones truthfulness or existence is such a great conversation stopper ; a simple iChat or yahoo Im? My point of view is that if you start everything off with the assumption that I'm lying and I need to prove otherwise, I wouldn't be interested. ^ Bingo

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 8:11:13 PM)
~FRing it~ I dont know what iChat is, but I do know what Yahoo IM is. My question for you, OP, is how is communicating with someone via Yahoo IM going to prove one's truthfulness or existence? Whether its here or via Yahoo IM, its still all just words on a computer screen. A person could chat with you via Yahoo IM and still be completely bullshitting you about every single thing they are saying.

muhly22222 -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/16/2013 8:35:46 PM)
I don't ask for proof, I let them prove themselves to me. Whether it's by being consistent, by a conversation on webcam, by a phone conversation, or by meeting in person, it's really not that hard for a person to show that they are who they say they are. It might take a little bit of time, but since I'm looking for something that lasts forever (in an ideal world, anyways), I'm willing to take that time. If I started talking to a guy who was pretending to be a girl, or something like that, they'd probably get bored pretty fast with me. I don't talk about kink or sex for a little while, and if somebody moved to that pretty fast, I'd drop them like a hot potato. I start with the assumption that the person is telling me the truth, and continue with that until they make me change my mind. And don't think that means that they don't provide a proof picture, a phone number, or an IM screenname on demand. It simply means that they stop being believable. I've never had a problem getting an IM chat out of somebody when I asked for it. Then again, I wait for a little while before offering my YIM to them, and I never make them feel like they have to go talk to me on YIM. It's kind of like, "If you'd like to, we can move this on over to Yahoo, my username is ****." That way, I'm telling them that I'm ready, and they can go ahead and move on over there anytime they feel ready.

LaTigresse -> RE: Why is this so hard to do? (2/17/2013 8:49:10 AM)
If someone wants to find out how 'real' I am........they are going to have to get their ass to Iowa. SE Iowa to be specific.

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