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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 4:08:19 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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Very much so. I learned a lot from him, grew in ways I never dreamed possible, and I miss him in ways I cannot explain. He will forever hold a place in my heart....

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 321

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 7:45:45 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Even though the acts themselves sometimes make me feel like crap, I enjoy the feelings.

The key here is that, you enjoyed the feelings, she did not.

quote:

The idea of laughing as something a Dom does to degrade me puzzles me.

Because I know he thinks its funny and i think it's funny and we are both just having fun. My x-dom was a comical person and alot of degradation he does, he adds humour to it. He teaches me silly dance moves and make me sing a bum-tit-tit song, while naked prancing around with "slut and whore" marked all over my chest, it's all part of his style. Our time together have lots of giggles and laughs. Of course the bad times are when I refuse to do some things he wanted, and I understand that would piss him off.

Well, I definitely don't agree with "tearing down the self-esteem" of a sub too, unless the sub like someone like you is seeking exactly that, if it's your kink, then all is dandy. It wasn't my impression that, that was what she was looking for or expecting when she first hooked up with him. I think his mislead her alot about what to expect. And she was ignorant about the lifestyle when she met him. Her girlfriend introduced him to her, and they connected, he probably sense her submissiveness, do some nice things, introduce her to light side of bdsm to entice her in, and then once he got her away from her family and friends, start hardcore and making sure she feels she feels she can't leave.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/5/2013 8:04:49 PM >

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 322

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 7:48:54 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

which you don't know because she never came out and said that to you. You are assuming based on what she said and your past experiences. So she said she has low self esteem...so what? It could be that she's an emotional masochist and by telling you all this, she gets an even better hit from her emotional masochism. You're her "sadist".

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 323

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 8:09:13 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

which you don't know because she never came out and said that to you. You are assuming based on what she said and your past experiences. So she said she has low self esteem...so what? It could be that she's an emotional masochist and by telling you all this, she gets an even better hit from her emotional masochism. You're her "sadist".

Well, if she was just getting the kink out of degrading herself to me, then, yeah sure, glad to be of any help. I was 100% sure I gave her the fullest respect as a human being and didn't judge and reacted as kindly as possible. I am the mollycoddling type when I hear sob stories.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 324

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 8:28:56 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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In my whole conversation with her, even though I feel sick inside. I never once criticized her dom to her or even told her how it should be like, I did tell her I enjoy being kept naked and crawling, so it's actually happy stuffs to do for me, but if it's not for her, maybe it's not for her. As I do acknowledge it is different for everyone, but I just feel, she wants out and is not happy. I was still living full time with my x-dom then, oh yea, that's why this dom chose me to speak to her after he checked how my relationship with my xdom was like, I told him all the things we do and how much I enjoy them. I even discuss my x-dom about this case at that time, and well his response is, that's what his telling me, that some messed up shit can happen in this lifestyle, so gotta exercise common sense and be careful.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/5/2013 8:33:35 PM >

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 325

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 10:44:40 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

So she lives in Malaysia.. which you claim is criminal heaven. Seems it is especially for human trafficking.

If you go there all the time, why didnt you offer to come get her to relieve her of her situation?

Why didnt he simply sell her off as a slave? He certainly has the opportunity.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 326

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 10:47:33 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

So she lives in Malaysia.. which you claim is criminal heaven. Seems it is especially for human trafficking.

If you go there all the time, why didnt you offer to come get her to relieve her of her situation?

Why didnt he simply sell her off as a slave? He certainly has the opportunity.

Because I simply go across the border from me, areas within 30mins to 1 hour drive. From her description of where she is at, she is probably like 10 hours drive away from me. I ain't gonna go alone in the middle of lawlessness Malaysia where women can easily get screwed by Muslim religious police for anything stupid they wish to make up. And she doesn't have passport how will I get her back to my country. I don't trust police.

I got molested by a Malaysian tour guide once holidaying over there, and I was with my x-dom, and he also said, don't go to the police, they may just kill you and shut you up. Let's just get out of here.

You ask why the hell do I still go in there? There is the biggest go kart track in Asia in there, and I love go kart.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/5/2013 10:49:49 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 327

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 11:00:01 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

This just gets more bizarre....

you wont go help someone you feel is in danger of killing herself.. or being killed.. but you will go to race a go kart.

You dont want her there, yet you feel no problem putting yourself in danger.... to ride a go kart.

So you go to a country that supports crime against women and support that crime by spending money there.

Interesting.......

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 328

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 11:01:24 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

Why didnt he simply sell her off as a slave? He certainly has the opportunity.

Slaves are cheap. Just one time money, why make one time money when he can use her for constant income and there are a whole harem of girls apparently. But different masters.
I mean, even to get a baby illegally over there is like damn cheap. Like $2k USD maybe, and you bought a baby. What's a grown woman worth?

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/5/2013 11:02:06 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 329

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/5/2013 11:11:12 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

if women are that cheap to buy, they arent getting much by whoring them out either.

Sorry, but this is sounding more and more like a fantasy someone cooked up. And I realized the more I talk about it, the less sympathetic I become to this poor "victim".

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 330

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 9:30:37 AM

SwitchNSpanky

Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FinDommeXtina

Good thread and awesome opinions. I like the fact the difference between sub and slave was brought up. Don't we do this all of the time in any relationship? Say the dominant of a vanilla relationship says hey, we are going to sell our car and buy a new one that I like. What if the submissive role didn't want to? Would he or she just up and leave the relationship? It sounds like submissive is more or less equivalent to dating, whereas slavery is like marriage. Does anyone else get what I am trying to say? lol

This is as far as I have read in this thread so far. But this post seems spot on in relation to my understanding. Slave = "you can do what you want to me..I'm cool with that" vs a sub that says "I don't do guys or any anal. Plus, I won't let you cane me.."
A sub has some say. A slave does not after they pic their Dom.

(in reply to FinDommeXtina)

Post #: 331

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 9:53:26 AM

SwitchNSpanky

Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

Even though the acts themselves sometimes make me feel like crap, I enjoy the feelings.

The key here is that, you enjoyed the feelings, she did not.

quote:

The idea of laughing as something a Dom does to degrade me puzzles me.

Because I know he thinks its funny and i think it's funny and we are both just having fun. My x-dom was a comical person and alot of degradation he does, he adds humour to it. He teaches me silly dance moves and make me sing a bum-tit-tit song, while naked prancing around with "slut and whore" marked all over my chest, it's all part of his style. Our time together have lots of giggles and laughs. Of course the bad times are when I refuse to do some things he wanted, and I understand that would piss him off.

Well, I definitely don't agree with "tearing down the self-esteem" of a sub too, unless the sub like someone like you is seeking exactly that, if it's your kink, then all is dandy. It wasn't my impression that, that was what she was looking for or expecting when she first hooked up with him. I think his mislead her alot about what to expect. And she was ignorant about the lifestyle when she met him. Her girlfriend introduced him to her, and they connected, he probably sense her submissiveness, do some nice things, introduce her to light side of bdsm to entice her in, and then once he got her away from her family and friends, start hardcore and making sure she feels she feels she can't leave.

I too disagree with tearing down a sub/slaves self esteem. I've got a boat load of reasons. But I'm down to talk dirty (in ways That make me uncomfortable if its my subs kink and I think they can handle it. Seen too many people use it to control and manipulate folks with self esteem issues. That's not cool. It gets me angry. Also the whole "you can't leave" thing gets me hot and mean unless I can see its what the sub wants.

Being a Dom comes with some very heavy ethical responsibilities. We need to Man or Woman Up. And make hard and sometimes unpopular choices unless we want to be nothing less than rapists with a clever MO

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 332

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 9:53:48 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNSpanky
This is as far as I have read in this thread so far. But this post seems spot on in relation to my understanding. Slave = "you can do what you want to me..I'm cool with that" vs a sub that says "I don't do guys or any anal. Plus, I won't let you cane me.."
A sub has some say. A slave does not after they pic their Dom.

Except for it is not that cut & dried... ever to my knowledge. Pretty much every "TPE slave" I know has a standard set of exclusions (for instance, the prohibited things on this site) along with a personal list of shit. That's why it's not so simple.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)

Post #: 333

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 9:56:43 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNSpanky
This is as far as I have read in this thread so far. But this post seems spot on in relation to my understanding. Slave = "you can do what you want to me..I'm cool with that" vs a sub that says "I don't do guys or any anal. Plus, I won't let you cane me.."
A sub has some say. A slave does not after they pic their Dom.

Except for it is not that cut & dried... ever to my knowledge. Pretty much every "TPE slave" I know has a standard set of exclusions (for instance, the prohibited things on this site) along with a personal list of shit. That's why it's not so simple.

My lines are her lines.
That's the line :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 334

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 10:03:15 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Thats the optimal. Yet, when a slave chooses a man with the intention of changing him... say starting a relationship with a Sadist when she really isnt into hard core pain... and expecting him to give that part up and remain 100% faithful to her... that just isnt going to work.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 335

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 10:16:25 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
My lines are her lines.
That's the line :-)

OK, so I'll just go ahead and be the wussy master then. There are JILLIONS of things I could command Carol that would absolutely end the dynamic and the relationship on the spot. Who knows... perhaps one or two of those might actually be something I'd like. This is why I don't evaluate her obedience on the basis of the total possible theoretical spread of all commands. I look at the actual commands given and the actual performance against them.

I have no idea where this business of absolutes ever got into ANY discussion involving humans but it's sort of pointless in my mind.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 336

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 10:20:44 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

OK, so I'll just go ahead and be the wussy master then. There are JILLIONS of things I could command Carol that would absolutely end the dynamic and the relationship on the spot.

yeah,yeah,yeah,but would you?
Carol ain't dumb.She knows who and what you are,and more importantly,what you are and are not capable of.She knew that when she surrendered.She knows that now. And maybe, just maybe,that's why she chose to surrender,to yield trust over to you.
I would go further and suggest that should you order her to do one of those things,that something fundamental would have shifted inside you value wise and thus,you would no longer be the man she gave herself to,which would of course then render any arrangements null and void.
Just saying
(And pulling things back from absolutes to more grounded reality

)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 337

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 11:00:10 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
(And pulling things back from absolutes to more grounded reality )

Thanks Kana... and yeah, i agree with all of that. I just dislike propagating the whole "Me Master. You Jane." <<insert chest thumping here>> mindset.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 338

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 11:01:17 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

If you are thumping your chest, I wanna see proof of that. Pic please!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 339

RE: Why A Slave? - 6/6/2013 11:13:31 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I often wonder what a happy, solid 20 year long IE dynamic would look like (4-5x the length of mine).

In your case, you and Carol will have morfed in this androgynous blob so that it's not distinguishable where you begin and she ends, radiating out pure, unadulterated love to a degree that's blinding to most people, and melts witches and other evildoers.

I was being playful, but I'm not joking. That -minus the extremes- is really what I think will happen with you both.

It won't help you much, but my grandparents had a relationship much like you and Carol have, and it's how they ended up.

They where so close, and so good at understanding and reading each other that they sometimes appeared as one person. It was very hard when they talked to figure out who exactly said what, and came up with what idea, because how well their thoughts intertwined. And when you saw them together, they did very much radiate out an aura of love.
They where one, and even though my grandfather was subtly in charge, and my grandmother subtly followed, you wouldn't have been able to tell that unless you knew them very very well, because she knew what he wanted and did it before he even had a chance to formulate it as a leading direction, and he knew what she needed and adapted his own desires to that to such a degree that it was next to impossible to tell whether he wanted something because *he* wanted it, or she wanted it, or they both wanted it.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 340

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